Authors: Kimberley Chambers
Early in the evening, Billie had just got bathed and
changed into her pyjamas when she heard the dreaded
sound of the front door opening.
'Is that you, Danny?' She could hear the tremble in
her own voice as she spoke.
When there was no reply, she decided to stay put and
pretend to carry on watching the soaps. Upstairs she could
hear footsteps and a bit of banging about. She was so
glad she'd chosen to keep the baby downstairs with her,
just in case he came back.
Ten minutes later, footsteps retreated back down the
stairs and the front door was shut with such force that it
nearly came off its hinges. Billie turned the volume on
the telly down, waited five minutes to be sure that he'd
gone, then gingerly ventured upstairs. Noticing one of the
suitcases that they kept in the bedroom was missing, Billie
opened Danny's wardrobe and saw that half his clothes
were gone, along with most of his toiletries and underwear.
As she walked down the stairs, Billie noticed the state
of her face in the hallway mirror. Her eye and cheekbone
were black and blue from where he'd kicked her outside
the pub. Pouring a drink, she sat on the sofa, watching
DJ, whilst trying to figure out what she should do. Danny
had obviously moved out for the time being, which was
a relief. She'd fully expected him to come home screaming
and shouting like a bull in a china shop, and his silence
had somewhat unnerved her. What if he came back
tomorrow? Or the day after? And started on her again.
The sound of his key going into the lock had made her
jump out of her skin. She couldn't live a life like that and
there was no way she could change the locks as the house
didn't belong to her.
Billie decided to give Jade a call. It was time to tell
her the truth about everything. The phone was answered
on the third or fourth ring. The sound of Jade's caring
voice was all too much for Billie, and she burst into floods
of tears.
'Now calm down,' Jade said softly. 'Try and stop crying,
love. I can't understand what you're saying.'
Eaten up with emotion, Billie managed to pull herself
together. Half an hour later, she'd told Jade the whole sorry
story. The rape, the girl she'd overheard at the party and
the beating she had received. Jade was kind, protective
and understanding. Not once did she say I told you so. On
learning that Danny had threatened and nearly strangled
Jade on the night she'd given birth, Billie started to sob.
'I so wished I'd listened to you, and taken your advice,
Jade. You knew he was a wrong'un from the word go,
didn't you?'
'Don't blame yourself, Billie. We all make mistakes.
You must be strong now, though. Whatever bullshit he
comes out with, for your own sanity, for God's sake don't
take him back.'
Billie nearly choked at the very thought. 'I promise
you, Jade, there's no way in a million years I would ever
go back with him now but I'm still in shit-street. This
house belongs to the bloke he works for, so I can't change
the locks. He can kick me out of here at any time and
my biggest fear is him wanting to see DJ. Danny can't
be trusted, Jade, and I'm not letting him have the baby.
I can't and I won't.'
'You're going to have to cross that bridge when you
come to it, Bill,' Jade said, feeling relieved that she'd
never had a baby by some loser. What an awful situation
to be in, to watch your kid trot out the door with some
arsehole that couldn't be trusted. If ever there was a lesson
for young mums, it had to be beware who's providing
you with their sperm and for goodness' sake pick a reliable
one, she mused.
'Look, if I was you, Bill, I'd get your mate Jamie round
tomorrow to put some bolts on the inside of your doors,
front and back. He'll be able to get some decent ones from
B&Q or somewhere. At least then, if Danny turns up drunk
or in a temper, he can't just walk in the house. Your best
bet is to try and get out of that bloody house, you don't
want to be beholden to Danny or anybody else. Why
don't you use your dad's money to rent somewhere?'
Embarrassed by her own naïvety, Billie sighed. 'That's
gone, Jade, and I've spent most of the money that Davey
Mullins gave me as well.'
'How can you spend that amount of money, Billie?
Whatever have you spent it on?'
'DJ mainly. Designer clothes, toys, treats, days out.
Jimmy the Fish was only giving me a hundred pounds a
week, Jade. I'm not used to scrimping and saving.'
Jade was annoyed at her young friend's stupidity.
'Bloody hell, Billie. You can't spend money like water,
you must try and be more responsible with it.'
Billie said nothing. She had lent Danny five grand and
she felt a fool telling Jade how silly she'd been.
Guessing that Billie had enough on her plate without
her having a go at her, Jade searched for ideas. 'I know
what you can do, Bill. Why don't you go down the council
or the Citizens Advice and tell them about your situation?
Go while you've still got your black eye and tell
them what Danny has done to you. Then they'll have to
sort you out with a place. As for the baby, just refuse
to let Danny see him. Make him get a court order, then
you can tell the judge that he's violent. You said Jamie
was there at the party. Ask him to be a witness for you.'
Billie listened intently. 'Oh Jade, I feel better now I've
spoken to you. I'll ring Jamie straight away and I'll get
down the council first thing tomorrow. I'm not even sure
where the office is, but I'll ring directory enquiries for
the address.'
'Good girl. I know you've made some mistakes, Billie,
but you're a tough cookie and a fantastic little mum. I know
for a fact that your dad would be very proud of you.'
Billie felt a jolt of sadness wash over her at the mention
of her beloved father. 'Do you think so, Jade? He wouldn't
be proud of my choice of men, that's for sure.'
'Maybe not, Bill, but you were very young when you
met Danny, and very vulnerable.'
'Yes, I suppose I was,' Billie said, regretfully.
'Look, Bill, I've got to go now. I'll ring you tomorrow.'
'Bye, Jade, and thanks for being there for me.'
Billie rang Jamie immediately to ask him if he'd fix
some bolts on the doors for her.
'Of course I will. As soon as I get home from work
tomorrow, I'll go and get you some. I'll be round about
half seven.'
'That's brilliant,' Billie said, thanking him. 'I'll do you
a bit of dinner if you like, that's if you haven't already
made other plans?'
'No, I've got no plans. Dinner sounds great. What you
cooking? You ain't gonna poison me, are you?'
Billie laughed. 'I don't know what I'm cooking yet,
you cheeky sod.'
Billie put the phone down, feeling a lot better. Scooping
DJ into her arms, she switched the light off with her
elbow and headed upstairs for what she hoped would be
a peaceful night's sleep.
The trip to the council the following day did not go well
and Billie found the woman she spoke to anything but
helpful.
'You'd be better off going to the police and getting an
injunction out against your boyfriend. There's not much
we can do,' said Mrs Patel.
Billie tried three times to explain her situation but Mrs
Patel's English wasn't all that good and finally losing her
rag, Billie demanded to see her superior. Mrs King was
more understanding, but also blunt about her options.
'The only place we would be able to offer you is a
hostel. This area has such a long waiting list for two-bedroom
properties. All you can do is take the place in
the hostel and then wait your turn for permanent accommodation
to be offered to you.'
Billie felt like bursting into tears. 'How long would I
have to stay in the hostel before I was offered a place?'
'It could be six months, it could be a year. It's anyone's
guess really.'
Taking the forms that were offered to her, Billie thanked
the woman for her time and decided to head home and
fill them in indoors rather than do them there and then.
DJ was grizzling and Billie thought he might have the
start of a cold. She also wanted Jade's advice before she
signed her life away. Putting her unusually miserable son
down for an afternoon nap, Billie set about preparing
dinner for herself and Jamie.
She'd decided to do spaghetti bolognese. She could
cook but she was no Jamie Oliver and was frightened to
try anything too intricate in case she ballsed it up. Billie
fried the mince and onion, and then added a couple of
jars of ready-made sauce to it. She'd bought fresh pasta
and garlic bread, which she'd warm up once Jamie had
finished the locks.
By the time Billie got showered and sorted the baby
out, it was gone six o'clock. Pouring herself a drink, she
rang Jade and told her how unhelpful the council had
been.
'There's no way they're putting you in one of them
hostels, Billie, over my dead body. They're full of junkies,
asylum-seekers and Christ knows what else. You're not
going there.'
'What will I do then?' Billie said, relieved that she
now had Jade back in her life to give her advice and help
her. She'd missed her so much in the time that they'd had
no contact and knew that no one and nothing would ever
come between them again.
'Look, Billie, I know you want out of where you are,
but don't jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. No
one's told you you've got to get out just yet, so bide your
time. I'll tell you what we'll do, I've still got a couple of
days' holiday due to me. Let me have a word with them
in work tomorrow and all being well, I'll get down to
you in the next couple of weeks and help you find somewhere.
I'll come up the council with you and give them a
piece of my mind and if we still don't get any joy, we'll
find you somewhere private. You're a single mother, housing
benefit will pay your rent for you. Don't spend any more
of your money. You may need to use it as a deposit.'
'I'm going to have to spend some just to live, Jade.'
'Just be sensible, Billie. You can't be buying designer
baby clothes with it.'
Hearing the doorbell ring, Billie peeked through the
curtain to see who it was, as it was a bit early for Jamie.
'Oh it's all right, Jade, it's Jamie. His car's outside. I'll
ring you tomorrow.'
'OK, Bill. Have a nice time with your boyfriend tonight
and don't do anything I wouldn't do.'
Billie felt herself redden. 'Oh, stop it, Jade. We're just
friends. Anyway he's got a girlfriend.'
'I can feel romance in the air,' Jade replied, teasingly.
'See ya later.' Billie cut her off and ran to answer the
door.
'I got away from work early,' Jamie said, handing her
a bottle. Billie chatted away happily as he fiddled with
the lock on the front door. 'Right, that's that one done.'
Jamie picked up the little toolbox he'd brought with him.
'I'll do the back door now.'
Billie smiled gratefully. 'OK, and I'll put the dinner on.'
Her bolognese. was a big success.
'That was lovely, Bill. Christ, I feel bloated now.' Jamie
pushed his empty plate away from him, sat back and
stretched.
Billie noticed DJ's eyes shutting as he sat on the floor
watching his cartoons. He'd had his little dish of spaghetti
bolognese. a couple of hours earlier. Billie didn't like him
eating just before he went to bed in case it lay on his
chest. 'I'm gonna put the baby to bed, Jamie. I'll be back
in five minutes. You haven't got to rush off, have you?'
'No, not at all, babe. You hire my services, you get me
for the evening. While you're putting the bruiser to bed,
I'll wash up for you.'
'Oh leave that, I'll do it.' Billie smiled to herself as
she tucked DJ into bed. Jamie was so lovely and helpful.
Danny had never lifted a finger indoors; in fact, she
couldn't even remember him ever washing a cup. Kissing
her son goodnight, Billie galloped downstairs.
'Shall we have another glass of wine, Jamie?'
'You can, Bill. I'd better not, I've got to drive home.'
'Oh, go on, have a drink with me. You can get a cab
home, or why don't you stay here in the spare room?'
Jamie held out his glass for a refill. 'What if Danny
comes home?'
Billie giggled. 'Well, he won't get in, will he? The
bolts are on the door.'
Jamie burst out laughing. 'I'll stay in your spare room
then, girl. I'm not at work tomorrow, so I can afford to
have a good drink. Is this the last bottle or have you got
some more?'
'It's the last one,' Billie replied, pleased that he had
asked. She had wanted to send him round the offie earlier,
but hadn't wanted to make herself sound like her mother.
Jamie stood up. 'I'll shoot round the off-licence and
get us another bottle, then I'll leave me car round the
corner somewhere. I won't leave it outside, in case old
Danny Boy comes sniffing around.'
The two of them sat up until the early hours, chatting
nineteen to the dozen. Billie felt she could really open
up to Jamie. She told him all about her childhood, how
she'd never got on with her mum, her dad's death and her
relationship with Jade. Finally, with the vino loosening
her tongue, she told him about what Danny had done
to her, how he'd violently raped and abused her.
'If I get hold of him, I'll fucking kill him.' Jamie held
her tight as she sobbed on his shoulder. Billie had a good
cry and immediately felt better. She also felt a bit silly.
Wiping her eyes, she started to laugh half-heartedly.
'God, what must you think of me? I've invited you
round for dinner and then blubbered all over you.'
'Don't be silly, I'm your mate. I'll always be here for
you, Billie.'
Billie noted the honesty in his eyes and believed him.
She'd known for a while that what she felt for Jamie was
more than just friendship. Maybe she was in love with him.
Many a night she'd lain in bed thinking about him. She
had pictured his happy face, crooked smile, wicked sense
of humour and most of all his kindness. He was wonderful
with DJ and her son had bonded with him in a way he
never had with his real father. Turning to face him, she felt
it was time to stop beating around the bush, and let him
know how she really felt. Unable to find the appropriate
words for her feelings she leant towards him, shut her eyes
and tried to passionately kiss him. To her horror, Jamie
didn't respond, but pulled away from her.