BILLIONAIRE BIKERS: 3 MC Romance Books (70 page)

All Lucas wanted to do was stay in the tiny bedroom at Fetsko’s and think about Audra.
What will happen? How will I ever find her again? Can I face never seeing her again? Will she just move on, never looking back?

His thoughts shifted between that and pondering over what was going to happen at the review board.
What is wrong with my mind?
he wondered. He had never been a worrier. In fact, until Blanco entered his life three years ago, he had been a pretty
laissez-faire
guy.

“C’mon, Lucas,” Fetsko said, knocking on the bedroom door. “No more pizza, and I’m sick of eating out. What say you and I cook?”

Lucas just lay back on the bed, ignoring the voice at the door.

Fetsko tried the door, and, finding it unlocked, opened it.

“You gotta put yourself back together, bud,” Fetsko said.

“I’m just not sure what’s wrong or how to do that,” Lucas said, still staring at the ceiling.

“Well, helping me fix dinner would be a start.”

“I don’t know anything about cooking,” Lucas said, growling.

“Well, it’s either that or dish duty.”

Lucas finally hauled himself up and drug his feet getting to the kitchen.

“I finally got to talk to Marlena,” Fetsko said. “They’re releasing her day after tomorrow.”

“That’s great,” Lucas said without emotion.

“Aw, don’t be a drip,” Fetsko said. “Maybe she has a girlfriend that she can—”

“Hell, no,” Lucas said. “No way I’m ready for a trip down that lane.”

“C’mon. Gettin’ laid would do you some good. Something’s gotta.”

Lucas flashed on how quick Marlena had made him come that one time she touched him. He flushed as he thought about it now, wondering if Fetsko knew. Instead, he said, “No. I’m not going anywhere. I’m too close to Michaelson and to Blanco’s men,” he said.

“Have you figured out where you want to go from here?”

“I guess that depends on what happens at the review board, and whether they return me to duty.”

Fetsko didn’t say anything, but he wasn’t holding his breath.

# # #

“Based on an audit of your entire record with the U.S. Marshals Service,” the chief said before the board, wrapping up the review, “we have decided to grant you a medical retirement. You will receive your full pension as if you had completed your twenty years, and you will have the same medical benefits. In addition to your pension, you will receive a status of one hundred percent service-related disability.”

Surprise and relief both washed over Lucas as he heard the pronouncement. This possibility hadn’t even entered his mind. It wasn’t that he no longer wanted to be a U.S. Marshal, it was that he felt truly broken and needed a lot of healing before he returned to duty. Being brought back too soon, and then with all the betrayal, the wounding, the stress of both his and Audra’s situation, it had been like kicking a wounded man. The results had been psychologically disastrous.

He stood and shook the hand of each member of the review board—men he had known and worked with for years.

Back in the chief’s office, he shook his hand again.

“Thank you for all the support you’ve given me, and I know you must have gone out on a limb for the medical retirement.”

“There were only one or two who had to be convinced. The rest understood as soon as I explained it all.”

“Sir, I know it’s technically none of my business now, but what are you going to do about Michaelson?”

“Roberts, I recommend you get as far away from here as possible. We’re going to find Michaelson and deal with him, but please don’t bring any more grief or stress on yourself by trying to be in on it.”

Lucas nodded.

“Any idea where you’ll go, son?”

“None. Until today I thought I was either going back to work or to an institution, and I wasn’t sure if it would be a mental hospital or a prison.”

“Suspending you indefinitely seemed like the wrong thing to do…there would always be this pressure to hurry up and get better. What you’ve been through with your wife and son, and then exacerbated by all of this, it could take you a lifetime to heal. No one can put that on a time schedule, and I’m sorry we didn’t realize that the first time around.”

“Well, thank you, sir, for recognizing that. It’s important for me to know your perspective.”

“You’ll be able to draw a final paycheck today. Roxanne has it ready for you at the front desk. Your other payments will kick in soon. Oh, and this might come in useful sometime. You’re still entitled to it. Just don’t abuse it,” he said, handing Lucas his badge.

“Thank you, sir,” Lucas said. He picked up his check and departed headquarters for the last time.

Audra sat nervously awaiting her fourth interview in as many days. She knew it was probably unrealistic, but she just wanted someone to hire her on the spot. Although the other interviews had gone well, in the end she had gotten either, “We have other applicants to interview,” or “We’ll keep your application on file.”

She wasn’t sure how, with her very small experience in job hunting, to read those faces and comments, but she knew she needed to be patient. It wasn’t like she was desperate for money, and she was having a blast getting acquainted with Seattle and some of the surroundings. However, she felt like she needed to actually be
doing
something with her life.

# # #

Lucas woke up the next morning wondering what he was going to do with his life. He looked over to see Marlena’s friend, Carmen, sleeping beside him. One thing was sure, he didn’t want to do
that
again.

He and Fetsko had decided that Lucas’s retirement deserved a celebration. Since it had given him a momentary lift in spirits, he had agreed, or rather he had gone along with Fetsko’s pleas to let him fix Lucas up with Marlena’s friend.

It had started out fun—a cantina for dinner, music, moving on to a club where they danced and danced, and ending up in a bar somewhere in Calexico drinking and talking. It had been interesting to observe Marlena and her friend. They were beautiful and full of life, but he could also tell that neither of them had entertained a serious thought in their lives.

Some men would find that not only refreshing but desirable. He could see why Fetsko had thought Carmen could do him good; he had been under so much strain for what seemed like years now that it was good to let down.

As he lay now, looking at Carmen, he had to admit that “getting laid” had helped relieve tension, just as Fetsko had suggested. But it just wasn’t the life he wanted.

He wasn’t even sure that what he really wanted made logical sense. After all the sadness and the wounding and reopening of wounds—both physical and psychological—it would seem that having someone carefree in his life would be good. However, he missed Audra’s dark seriousness. She wasn’t morose, just intense and intelligent.

He wanted to be with her and heal their lives together. Who better than the two of them? They knew each other’s deepest fears. They knew each other’s deepest sorrows and secrets.

The best thing he could do now was to get out on his own and go somewhere else. He got up and showered. When he came back into the bedroom, Carmen was up. He heard all three voices in the kitchen. He was grateful she had spared him the attempts to shower with him or to pull him back into bed.

He packed his single bag. The rune necklace he had given Audra was lying on the dresser. He picked it up to toss it in his bag, but he thought better of it and fastened it around his own neck.

He walked into the living room, dropping his bag into a chair and heading to the kitchen.

“Well, good morning,” Carmen said.

“Hey, everybody,” Lucas responded.

“Marlena and I are whipping up some
huevos rancheros con chorizo
,” Fetsko said.

“Orange juice?” Carmen asked him.

He stood stiffly for a moment but then relented. He didn’t need to be rude.

“Sure,” he said, smiling at her in a way that said, “thank you, but….”

She poured him a small glass, and he sat down at the table with her. They all laughed as they recalled various silly things said and done the night before. He could see from the corner of his eye that Carmen kept glancing at him.
Might as well get it out in the open,
he decided.

“I’ve decided to head out this morning,” Lucas announced.

Fetsko looked at him, then glanced quickly at Carmen, then back to the stove. Carmen looked at Marlena.

“Are you just going to look for an apartment, or…?”

“Nope. I’m going…away.”

“Have you decided where?”

“East. East and probably north. As far away as possible from anything that looks like a cactus or has the stink of cartel on it.”

Fetsko just nodded, serving up the eggs and chorizo.

“Why you want to go so far?” Marlena asked.

Lucas looked at her, then focused on his breakfast. “I would think you, of all people, would understand Marlena.”

She shrugged. “My life is here.”

“And you don’t think any of Blanco’s organization is gunning for you?”

She frowned, glancing at Carmen. Clearly, Carmen knew nothing about the details of Marlena’s hospitalization.

Fetsko looked at him irritably.

“Okay,” Fetsko said. “Not exactly breakfast fare.”

Lucas finished eating and stood. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to put a damper on the fun. I just have to be real. Nick, thank you, buddy. You’ve been a real prince to put me up like this and to put up with me the last few weeks.”

Lucas kissed Carmen on the forehead, and Marlena came around the table. “Lucas,” she said, running her hands up his front and resting them on his chest, “I will miss you.” He saw unrequited desire in her eyes, realizing she was another bullet he was dodging. He’d hate to have to keep fending her off all the time, especially when Fetsko was so taken with her.

She kissed him on either cheek.

He shook Fetsko’s hand and said, “I’ll be in touch soon.”

Fetsko nodded, and Lucas grabbed his bag and walked out.

# # #

“Miss Woodrow?” the woman standing in front of her said, and Audra looked up quickly from the magazine she was reading. Luckily, she was getting used to hearing the name. The first interview she’d had, she kept waiting to see who would stand up until they repeated it using her first name, as well.

“Yes,” Audra said, standing, giving a warm smile, and reaching out with confidence to shake the woman’s hand. “Elise Woodrow.”

The woman, who introduced herself as Rachel Drummond, spoke animatedly as they walked down the hall.

“I love your portfolio, Elise,” she said, “as well as the comments from your CAD instructor. I’m impressed.”

“Thank you,” Elise said, smiling widely. She hoped the woman wasn’t just being effusive.

They walked into a corner office with nearly floor to ceiling windows around two sides overlooking Elliot Bay. It looked directly out over Pier 57 where she could see both Pike’s Place Market and Seattle’s giant Ferris wheel.

“What an amazing view!” Audra exclaimed.

“You should see it during the other half of the year. I can see all the way to Bremerton.”

“I keep hearing that all sorts of things appear out of the fog once the sun comes out again.”

“Oh, you’re that new to Seattle, are you?”

“I came just before Christmas.”

“Well, a lot of stunning sites await you, then,” Ms. Drummond said.

Audra sat down in the chair the woman indicated.

“So tell me something about you,” the woman began.

Audra was beginning to realize that this was the standard dumb question at the beginning of every interview. After several other interviews, she knew what to say, but it still made her uncomfortable.
Hmmm…
she wondered,
was that why the others had put her off so quickly?
She needed to get it right this time.

“Well,” Audra began, “I distinguished myself in high school in my CAD classes, and my primary extracurricular activities were the school newspaper and the yearbook.”

“That’s in your portfolio,” the woman said, still warmly. “I want to know something about Elise. I know since this will be your first real job that it’s tough to say what your strengths and weaknesses are, but dig deep. What would you say they are? Since you’re not in the workplace yet, how about in life in general?”

Good god. What was this woman fishing for? How was this relevant to becoming a design assistant?
Elise wondered.

“Well,” Audra began, hesitantly, “I would certainly say I’m resilient.”

“And what makes you say that?” the woman asked.

Audra was breathing in and out evenly, trying not to be reactive. “I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life, and I’ve weathered it and am coming out on the other side of it.”

“Oh?” the woman asked. “What kind of trauma?”

Jesus!
Audra thought. “I’ve lost several family members tragically.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” the woman said, clearly startled. “I didn’t mean to pry.”

“It’s okay,” Audra said. There were a few seconds of silence that Audra desperately wanted to fill, but she simply didn’t know what else to say.

In the seconds that passed, the woman studied Audra’s face. “I think ‘resilient’ is a good description. You seem genuinely warm and at ease. That tells me a lot about you.”

Audra wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad, but she felt the words indicated the former.

“I’ve had to be pretty intrepid. I grew up in the Southwest, but have always longed to see the Northwest. After my grandparents passed away this last summer, I just decided it was time to make some big changes—despite what they say.”

“They?”

“The therapy community seems to think too many changes in a short time aren’t good, but for me it was an imperative.”

The woman nodded slowly. “Then to ‘resilient,’ I’ll add ‘flexible’ and ‘not easily daunted.’

Audra chuckled. “I think that about covers it.”

“All right, then, let me word my next question more specifically,” the woman said. “Do you think any personality trait that you may have acquired might negatively impact your work?”

Wow. What a loaded question.
But suddenly Audra realized what she was doing and smiled.

“If you’re asking me whether I have deep-seated fears or anxieties, I do. But they are relegated to very specific situations which I sincerely doubt would ever occur at work, so I would have to answer ‘no’.”

“That’s a good, and obviously truthful, answer. I like you.”

Audra beamed at the woman. This was going well.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here, Elise. I need an assistant, like, yesterday. I like your work; I like your demeanor; I like your honesty; and, I like your intelligent face. I’d like to hire you. Can you start the first Monday after New Year’s?”

Audra’s eyes flew wide. “Yes. Of course!”

“You understand the parameters of the job?”

“I do. The description was well laid out.”

“Good. We’ll start you out at forty thousand a year, and, if you are as big a help to me as I think you’re going to be, I’ll move you up quickly. After six months, we’ll reevaluate. After a year, if we’re both in sync, I would like to offer you both a salary and a percentage of each project.”

“Thank you, thank you so much,” Audra said.

“I think this job will allow you the creativity and innovation you desire and of which you appear capable.”

“Thank you.”

“No, thank you. Maybe I’ll be able to get some stress off of myself and actually enjoy the holidays knowing I’ll have help soon. I’ll show you to the personnel office, and they’ll get you started on your paperwork.”

It was Ms. Drummond’s turn to stand. She came around the desk and took Audra’s hand. “Welcome aboard, Elise.”

Audra walked out with an immense sense of relief and excitement. Now she, too, could think about something else. Above all, she was looking forward to spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with Joy’s family.