Billionaire Boss (8 page)

“I'm sorry,” she said, watching him.

He gave a wry smile. “Maybe we could have been a version of a family, but it would have required getting to know one another, and that wasn't something either of them wanted. In the end, I suppose it made it easier for me to adjust
to not having parents anymore, since we weren't close.”

Silence permeated the car for a long moment.

Finally he added, “You know, I always thought you couldn't miss what you never had. But lately I don't think that's true. I don't think it at all.”

She agreed, her voice soft with empathy. “That kind of emptiness is far and wide. But when you've had something and it gets taken away, well, I've got to tell you, that emptiness goes pretty deep.”

Her thoughts spun to her father, and then to Carrie. The girl would get so worked up every time her father called that Kirsten and her mother had begun to wish he'd just stop calling.

Just the thought of it now made Kirsten realize she couldn't allow Carrie to get attached to Seth.

“So I guess if I sell the ranch back to Hazel, that'd be worse than never having had a ranch at all.” His words seemed to come out of nowhere.

“Why would you sell the ranch back to Hazel? You just built it,” she blurted out, confused.

“Hazel didn't sell me the land without attachments, Kirsten. There's always the provision that
I'll have to sell back to her if I don't meet the contract.”

“What do you have to do to meet it?”

He slid his gaze to her, then back again to the night road. “It's complicated. Something the lawyers drew up. I just don't know if I want to meet the provisions.”

“I see.” She turned her focus to the road. The ranch gates lay ahead, an artful crossing and weaving of twisted pine.

The impermanence rattled her. Having moved so much as a child, having had her parents break up, she'd always longed for something she could count on. Now, when she worried about whether or not she and Seth Morgan should be lovers, she should have been more worried about what she didn't know, like his contract with Hazel.

Releasing a dark little laugh, she commented, “Life is so ironic. Just when you think you have everything by the horns, something comes up behind you.”

“What do you think you have by the horns? Me?” he growled, suddenly becoming the confrontational Wall Street financier.

She shook her head, still smiling. “I'll never have you by the horns, Mr. Morgan, thank you very much.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” he demanded.

“Nothing. Nothing at all,” she said, still laughing at herself and her pathetic little hopes that kept springing up despite how severely they were crushed.

The car stopped in the front driveway, and she got out. Walking toward the stables, she paused when he grabbed her arm.

“Where are you going? Not out for a midnight ride, I hope?”

Freeing her arm, she said, “I just thought I'd go for a short walk. Just some thinking time. Do you need me for something back at the house?”

“No,” he answered.

“Then I guess I'm off. So I'll see you later.”

She left him in the driveway, wondering if she had been a little harsh, but she was getting overwhelmed. If he sold the ranch, she'd have no more job. No house. No retired mom. No stability for Carrie.

It all weighed on her like Atlas holding up the earth.

She walked behind the stable to one of the short trails that led to a nearby meadow. There was a full moon, and the path was lit as if by electric lights. Once in the meadow, she sat
along the hillside and watched the moon slide behind the mountains.

“It does clear your mind, doesn't it?” Seth said, taking a seat on the grass next to her.

She wasn't surprised he'd joined her. It was just like him, to read her thoughts, to sense her yearnings.

“How could it not clear your mind?” She lay back against the padding of grass on the hill. “You can't see those stars just anywhere. Those are Montana stars.”

“Kirsten, I'm not a fortune-teller,” he said, clearly something on his mind. “I can't see into the future, but more and more I realize how much I want to stay here.”

“Sounds like the choice is yours,” she commented.

“It's not all up to me. I've realized some things have to work out on their own. They shouldn't have a puppet master.” He was silent for a long moment. “Do you understand what I'm saying?”

She nodded, tears stinging her eyes. Having been flung far and wide by her puppet-master father, she knew all about such things. Her family had been thrown to the wolves all in the name of her father getting his own way. But Kirsten also knew about living on the edge of chaos,
when everything depended on a razor-thin edge of luck and there was not one damn thing she could do about it.

Seth was saying he might keep life as status quo. Or the roulette wheel would spin and he'd up and sell to Hazel, pay his accounts and leave town forever.

She would never see him again, because she never had any reason to go to New York. Their time together would be distilled down to a summer fling. One that nonetheless had changed her forever because she had fallen in love.

Pointing up to the sliver of moon that was still visible above Mount Mystery, she said, “If you leave, you'll miss that. That's a Montana moon. You can't get that anywhere else, you know.”

He studied her in the moonlight, his eyes never lifting to look at the breathtaking display above.

Hesitantly he leaned over her.

His gaze locking with hers, he said, “You know what else is up there that I'd miss?”

She looked up at him. He leaned over her, his body fitting to hers like an old familiar lover.

With a yearning like none she'd had before, she desperately wished he would fall upon her, kiss her and make love to her beneath the stars.

“What else is up there?” she whispered.

He gently kissed her mouth. “It's up there and all around.”

“What is it?” She moaned as he kissed and licked the sensitive hollows of her throat.

“It's a Montana heaven. A heaven like no other.”

He poised above her, his weight held up by the corded muscles of his arms.

Knowing if she continued with him she would succumb, she nonetheless wrapped her hand behind his neck and pulled him to her.

In seconds they'd shrugged out of their clothes, using them as a blanket over the crush of fresh grass. The world smelled of spruce and male body heat.

Kissing him, she writhed beneath his chest, which covered her like an armor of warm steel.

Safe and secure for now, she opened herself to him fully. He tasted her as if she held nectar. Slowly, dizzily, she succumbed to his mouth, his ever-thrusting tongue. The moment built first in her belly, then, running her fingers through his dark hair, she allowed the fire to seep into her loins. It exploded with a force that made tears rush to her eyes. And made her gasp his name.
Seth.

He silenced her moan with his mouth. His kiss tasted of blackberries. He filled his hand with
her aching breast, then filled his mouth with her nipple. When she could take the exquisite torture no longer, he thrust inside her, and she found her release almost instantly. And then, as he continued, she found it again and again in rolling waves that seemed to have no end.

He alone made it a Montana heaven.

With Seth, it was the only heaven she'd ever known, and the only heaven she feared she ever would.

T
he next week passed as if Kirsten was in a dream.

Despite her fear and hesitation, Kirsten decided to take one last chance and grab life with both hands. Carrie came almost every day to ride and she, Seth and Kirsten would take off to the horsepack trails of Mount Mystery.

Her little sister was completely entranced by Seth, his quick smile and generosity, but Kirsten couldn't blame her, when she herself was finding herself enslaved by him and her insatiable desire for him.

Nights were spent either in her room or his.

Viola had yet to guess their relationship, and Kirsten noticed both of them were reluctant to reveal it to the housekeeper. To do so would mean they would have to define the relationship somehow. They would have to admit it not only to the world, but to each other. That last night in the mountain grass had changed things somehow. A helplessness had seemed to overtake both of them. Their longings, their instincts, had taken over. But would it last? She tortured herself to find the answer.

There were barriers, and she knew it.

As she lay entwined in his arms one night, sated but unable to sleep, she thought of all the problems they faced.

She had a trust problem because her father had left, but Seth, too, had a trust problem. A woman was either a gold digger or out for sex. There were no other possibilities as far as he knew it. She didn't know if she could ever get him to see that there was more to life than money and carnal desires.

But she would try. She now knew she loved him enough to try.

A soft sigh emanated from her lips during her ruminations.

He opened his eyes and ran his hand down her cheek.

“After that long ride we had today, I'd have thought you'd be exhausted.” He smiled, his face boyish from sleep.

“I'm just thinking about the day,” she confessed, a wry smile on her lips.

His hand tightened on her bare hip. “I think Carrie had a blast. Especially when we took the horses swimming in the watering hole.”

“I've never seen her have such a good time,” she admitted.

He studied her. “Is there something on your mind? You seem so quiet.”

She shrugged. “I'm great. So great that I wish the day had gone on forever and ever.”

“Bull markets don't last forever. I know that better than most.” He snorted. “That's why you have to make the most of what you have. Carpe diem. Seize the day.”

“I think we did that today without doubt. And we seized the night, too,” she added.

Smiling, he nipped at her bare breast. “I think we did, but it's hard to make every moment count when you're baby-sitting. Do you think we can do without Carrie tomorrow? Maybe we
could take a picnic and climb McCallum Point?”

“I don't know, Mr. Morgan. You set a child's expectations, they have to be fulfilled.”

“But I've given at the office. Can't I have a day off?”

She released a bittersweet laugh. “Oh, I see now—you have a greedy side. You want more?”

“I always want more,” he growled, rolling on top of her, pinning her beneath him.

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with love.

But the confession gave her pause. It was silly to read more into it than what might have been meant, but she couldn't help herself. There was so much unspoken between them, so much un-confessed.

Overcome by the weight of her thoughts and the future, she instinctively turned to her side.

“What is it?” he asked, his brow furrowing with concern.

Shaking off his question, she said, “I had a great day. A wonderful day. Let's leave it at that. Why fiddle around with perfection? Why fix what ain't broke?” she said, quoting Hazel.

“But what more is there?” he asked, his hold suddenly turning to iron.

“You know what?” She gave a dark laugh. “I don't know what more there is. Isn't that funny? I know there's more. I know I want it. But I don't quite know what it is.”

“Where do you think you're going to find more?” he answered defensively. “You think just any man has what I have to offer?”

A hellish minute went by while she turned and stared at him.

All at once she blurted out, “It may shock you to discover this, but I'm pretty sure I could find happiness with a man of less means than you, Seth Morgan. And I can't help but wonder what you mean by ‘offer,' because I know you have money. I've known it from the beginning. I'm your assistant, remember? But what more is there?”

She was silent for a long moment, her expression at once accusing and withdrawn.

“You know what?” she began slowly. “There is a lot more. And if this is all there is, I think you're giving it to the wrong girl.”

“You didn't complain a few minutes ago,” he rumbled ominously.

“So maybe you should give it to Nikki, be
cause from what I could see, she was pretty darn happy with whatever you threw at her.”

A shield of ice went up in front of him.

Narrowing his eyes, he said, “I don't know what's eating you all of a sudden, Kirsten, but if you don't see what I have to offer, then you're blind. Blind and foolish.”

She rose from the bed and slipped on her faded flannel robe. “You do have a lot to offer, Mr. Morgan, but a couple of rubies and a new car isn't what I had in mind.”

She hated the fact that they'd gotten to this awful moment of truth, but it had come and she would have to give in to it.

“I'm sorry.” Her voice was choked with unshed tears. “I'm really and truly sorry.”

She thought of Carrie and the disappointment her little sister would suffer once she realized Seth's affections were as fleeting as Kirsten had thought they were. “Yes. I'm sorry for everything,” she repeated, tying her robe and leaving for her room.

 

“Carrie, I'm too busy to go riding today. Can I call you later and let you know what's going on?” Kirsten held her breath. The morning had dawned bloodshot-red, and she'd seen every
minute of it. It was now 9:00 a.m., time for her to cut Seth's ties with Carrie and time for Kirsten to go into her protective shell.

“I've got art camp at noon, so it's no big deal,” Carrie said over the receiver.

Kirsten breathed a sigh of relief. “We'll work it out to go riding again, but right now just hang tight, okay? Love you,” she rasped before hanging up the phone.

Sitting down, she realized all that she'd burdened herself with.

Her mother needed the mortgage paid; her sister had been promised another long riding lesson. Kirsten would never meet all her obligations while under Seth Morgan's power.

But he could make her live or die just by the wave of his hand. She was, in truth, nothing but a dispensable employee. He didn't need a personal assistant when Mary in New York could take over at a moment's notice and fill the job in the meantime.

She rubbed her eyes and realized the only way to save herself and her sister was to quit.

Seth had made love to her countless times, his soft words and kind deeds had touched her, and every gesture, every caress, had convinced her what she was seeing was real.

But he'd never said he loved her. He'd never offered a commitment. The wealth at his fingertips seemed to be nothing more than a manipulative tool.

His machinations would work with most girls. Most women were all too greedy for the next Porsche, the next trip to the jewelry store.

But truly, Kirsten was not Nikki. If she and James had truly been in love, she could have been the wife of a band singer. She could have lived the life of a roadie just to be near the man she loved, the man who loved her.

But Seth offered none of that. And she was in a dangerous game if she was going to hang around and try to convince herself there was more. If she continued down the path she was going, she would only drag Carrie and her mother down with her. It would be a catastrophe for all concerned, and her mother and Carrie had been through enough.

Startled, she looked up to see Seth at the front door. Sitting in the great room, she hadn't seen him come upon her.

“Jim is waiting to saddle up,” he announced, his face taut with wariness.

“Carrie's not coming today. She has art
camp. Neither am I,” she added hastily. “I've got a lot to do.”

His expression as hard as honed steel, he said, “I'm your boss, Kirsten. I don't remember giving you any work.”

She looked around the room—anywhere but at him. “I've got personal errands to run if you don't need me.”

“Such as?” he commanded.

Giving him an acid glance, she said, “Believe it or not, I've got a life beyond you, Mr. Morgan. I've got to close on that loan for my mother's house, and I've got other personal matters to attend to.”

“What is it with you? Yesterday seemed to go perfectly. Now you act as if I forced you into my bed,” he snapped.

“I don't want a contract for a relationship, okay?” she blurted out. “I want a relationship, not a benefits package.” Despairing, she confessed, “Look, let's face it, Nikki speaks your language. She understands what it is that you stand for. I don't, okay? I don't,” she finished, depressed, and yet driven to speak her mind.

“What are you saying?” He crossed his arms in front of him. Scowling in the open doorway, he looked like a marauder ready to strike.

“We've got to break this off before there's a lot of explaining to do to my mother, Carrie, Viola and anyone else,” she said.

He looked furious. “You're an adult and so am I. Why do we have to explain to anyone?”

She knew he wouldn't understand. He was used to getting his own way, to manipulating people. He bulldozed emotion like most people ran over pavement.

But she knew she had to protect her own, even if she couldn't protect herself. It was one thing to disappoint her, it was another entirely to disappoint Carrie. She couldn't allow that to happen, no matter how painful it proved to be to her.

“I'm giving my notice, Seth. I can give you two more weeks, then you'll have to replace me.” She looked at him, her usual cool facade covering up the volcano of emotion inside her.

“I don't take well to people telling me what to do, Kirsten.”

She stared at him. “Well, this time you're going to have to, because you can't force me, Seth. I'm not a robot. I'm not a slave. More than that, I'm not a fortune hunter who will do your bidding with just the lure of a shiny object. No, Seth, I'm a flesh-and-blood woman who wants
more out of life than you have to offer. So I'm getting out of here. I'm going to see what else there is in the world for me.”

She stood and made to leave.

“I don't think I've ever met a woman I couldn't figure out, but I can't figure you out, Kirsten. Not at all,” he told her, his voice bitter.

“You can't figure it out, Seth, because it's too simple.”

She gave him one last lingering look, then with tears in her eyes she ran up the stairs to her room.