Bindings and Books (5 page)

Ash placed a hand on James’s thigh and squeezed gently.

He frowned and stared at Ash’s hand. “I’ve tried to be the best person that I can be. The age difference thing… it was a line I promised never to cross.” He looked up, his gaze running over Ash’s face. “But then you came along. Logically, I know you’re a grown man, but to everyone else, you look young, and I can’t help but imagine what they think of me—being with you. That fear of being judged is hard to let go of.”

Ash’s warm breath whispered across his cheek. “James.” A gentle, comforting kiss pressed against his lips. “I can’t even imagine what you went through. But you are not your father, and I am not some teenage kid. I want you to be comfortable with our relationship, but I don’t want to hide how I feel about you in public. So we’ll just have to find our way through this together, because I’m not letting you go.”

James expelled a soft sigh as fingers threaded through his hair and gentle lips pressed against his forehead. Tiny fissions of electricity raced across his scalp.
So good!
Lips trailed across his closed eyelid and down his cheek, lingering at the corner of his mouth. Could he do it? Could he get past his fears? Could he—?

A bite to his bottom lip caused him to gasp. Ash took advantage, delving inside to claim James’s mouth in a deep kiss. Mouths pressed and hands grasped, reigniting the fire in his belly.

Ash pulled away slightly and drew in a shaky breath. “I want to touch you, James. In public—and in private.”

A hoarse groan tortured his throat.

Ash moved to straddle his thighs, knees on the couch, facing him. His breaths quickened as a tight, sexy ass settled on his lap. Warm weight pressed him into the couch, and rough hands pulled his head back until it hit the couch. Teeth scraped across the edge of his exposed jaw.

Moaning, he angled his head to allow Ash easier access. Heat rushed through his body as Ash kissed and bit along the length of James’s jaw toward his mouth before a warm, wet tongue thrust inside to swirl and stroke.

Damn!
Definitely not some inexperienced boy. Ash was all man. Dominating. Demanding. With a ragged groan, James submitted.

After a minute, an hour, a day, they resurfaced for air. Clawing and yanking, Ash removed their shirts, and their chests collided. Hot skin pressed and burned.

With his hands bordering on bruising, he gripped Ash’s denim-covered ass and thrust upward, seeking friction and pressure and warmth. He couldn’t get close enough. He needed to rip away the barriers, sink into Ash’s body, and merge with his flesh.

Ash pulled back and climbed off James’s lap.

His eyes snapped open. “Wha—?”

His knees were roughly pushed apart as Ash knelt between them. Fingers skimmed down his chest to pause at the waistband of his pants. Ash locked in eye contact… then dipped his fingers below.

James’s stomach muscles clenched.
Oh, God!
He needed Ash to touch him—to stroke his hard flesh. Dragging in deep breaths, he slid his hips forward until he reclined on the couch. Quick fingers unbuttoned and unzipped, and a warm hand engulfed his aching cock.

“Yes!” He thrust up into Ash’s firm grip.

Without breaking eye contact, Ash ran his tongue from the base to the tip of James’s shaft.

His hips jerked, as fire shot through his groin.
Dear God!
With shaking hands, he slid his fingers into Ash’s hair. Warm breath wafted over his wet flesh before a hot, wet mouth engulfed his cock.
Damn!
Daydreams were nothing compared to the reality of Ash’s mouth.

Ash swirled his tongue around the tip, licking away the bead of precome before plunging his mouth downward again.

With a hoarse cry, his body arched off the couch. It was too much! It was not enough! He twisted his fingers through the silky dark blond hair, and his body shook as Ash’s talented mouth urged him onward. Faster. Higher.

His lungs screamed for air. He couldn’t hold back. With a sharp thrust of his hips, his cock hit the back of Ash’s throat. “Yesss!” White light flashed before his eyes. His hips jerked, his body twitched, and he shuddered in release.

The room blurred a little around the edges as he drifted down from a high like no other.

With one last swallow and swirl of his tongue, Ash withdrew that beautiful mouth from James’s flesh.

Ash’s tongue flicked out, swiping at the milky smear on his bottom lip. A flutter ran through James’s stomach.
Fuck!
He grasped the back of Ash’s head and yanked him upward to lick at the glistening pink lip. The sharp taste of his own seed on his lover’s mouth sent the blood surging again. He couldn’t get enough!

The button and zipper of Ash’s jeans released beneath his fingers, and a hot, rigid cock filled his hand. “You’re so damn beautiful. Why would you—?”

“Stop talking.” Ash smiled against his mouth. “I want you to use that mouth for something else.”

He groaned. Why would Ash want
him
when he could have anyone he wanted?

Fingers curled around his neck. “I said, stop! Stop talking, stop thinking, and do it!”

Helpless to resist, he complied.

J
AMES
SIPPED
his coffee and stared at the pile of books before him on the counter. He really should enter them into the computer. His hands hovered over the keyboard as images flashed through his mind like a slide show. Ash’s warm skin beneath his hands. Soft, swollen lips. Ash’s hand pressing against his—

“So how’s Ash?” said Stephanie.

He jumped. “What?”

“I said—how’s that yummy guy you’ve got the hots for?”

“Steph!”

“What? Can’t I say—the hots? Should I say you’ve got a big hard—
”

“Steph!” A mouthful of coffee sprayed over the books and counter. Grabbing a handful of tissues, he frantically wiped and dabbed at the books.

“Oh don’t be such an old prude. I’m sure you’ve been imagining all kinds of stuff with that beautiful specimen of a man… and that amazing ass.”

“That’s
enough
!”

“Hey, I’m just saying.” She wriggled her eyebrows in a comical fashion then walked away.

Unfortunately, the image of Ash’s ass was now firmly lodged in his mind. He could clearly picture it—his fingers gripping Ash’s hips, his thumbs pressing into flesh, Ash bent over the—

Oh God!
Banging his head against the books, he tried to knock the image out of his head.

It didn’t work.

Why did he keep doing this to himself? Were his convictions and concerns so weak they could be swayed by the touch of warm skin or the taste of sweet yet spicy lips? Not to mention a nice handful of tight ass!

He slammed his pencil on the counter. There was no possible way he could concentrate. It was pointless to lie to himself any longer. Ash Bradley-Mills had well and truly broken through James’s defenses. The man had the ability to reduce him to an incoherent mess with merely a smile or a touch. He was ready to surrender and to hell with the consequences.

His stomach clenched. Well, maybe it wouldn’t be
that
easy.

With a sigh, he rubbed the back of his neck. Unfortunately, he could not be sure about Ash’s feelings. Ash was young, adventurous, and led a carefree life. Despite his protestations to the contrary, he could not picture Ash settling for a domesticated life. No matter how much he might wish it were possible, he suspected a long-term relationship with Ash was not in the cards. One day the young man would wake up and wonder why the hell he was still with this old man.

The tinkling of the bell on the shop door interrupted his musings. It was Ash. Young, gorgeous, intelligent, and sexy Ash. He really could not fathom why this gorgeous man wanted him—for now at least. It was bound to end sooner, rather than later.

So, I guess I’ll make the most of it while it lasts
.

The stool scraped harshly against the floor as he stood.

So, here goes nothing.

He pulled his shoulders back and strode around the counter to stand face to face with Ash. His fingertips grazed the short hairs at the back of Ash’s head as he drew him closer. A sharp indrawn breath drew his focus to the slightly parted lips.

His hand splayed across the back of Ash’s skull, cupping and caressing whilst urging forward. Right there in the middle of the store, his mouth captured the warm, pliant lips in a slow but forceful kiss. It was a statement, a kiss of intent before God, the Universe… and Steph.

Moaning, Ash wrapped strong arms around him, binding them together and returning the kiss with equal measure.

J
AMES
JUMPED
as the front door slammed.

He smiled. Ash was home.

Three months ago, Ash had accepted the job promotion and had all but moved into the apartment with him. Three months! Three of the best months of his life.

Ash flew into the bedroom and seized him in a hug. “James! They’ve offered me the most amazing opportunity. I still can’t believe it.”

“Tell me.” He laughingly kissed the side of Ash’s neck before stepping back.

“A Heli-drop!”

His stomach sank. “A what?”

“They’ve asked Brody and me to test out the new extreme snowboards.” Ash was yelling with excitement. “They drop us out of a helicopter, straight onto the top of the mountain, and then we snowboard to the base. No ski runs—just rugged nature. I can’t believe they asked me! With my new desk job, I thought they would ask one of the others, but it seems they think Brody and I are the only ones who can handle it. God, it’s an amazing opportunity!”

James’s chest tightened, and his mind screamed.
No!

His mouth opened, and his lips said, “No!”

Ash froze and stared at him. “Excuse me? Did you just say no? Do you mean—No, I can’t believe it either; I am so happy for you, Ash? Because it had better not have been a—No, I won’t allow you to go, Ash.”

“Ash, please, it’s so dangerous.”

With his jaw tense, Ash took a deep breath. “Yes, it is dangerous, but I’m an experienced snowboarder, and this is the thrill of a lifetime. I won’t pass it up.”

“Well….” His stomach churned. Ash was mad. Not playful make-it-up-to-me-with-sex mad but truly mad. He needed to defuse the situation. “I’m sure I can find a few ways to give you the thrill of a lifetime without even leaving the apart—”

“I’m serious!” Ash clenched his fists.

“You know, Ash, you’re gorgeous when you’re mad.”

“James! I am totally serious and totally pissed off right now!”

He pushed Ash backward and pinned him to the wall with the lower half of his body. “You know, I like the ‘pissed off’ version of you. It’s very sexy.” His lips slid across that certain spot, just under Ash’s jaw, that had proven an effective persuasion method in the past.

Ash shivered, then pushed him away. “And
that
is not going to work either. Stop the seductive routine. I can’t believe you think you can just say no.”

He took a step backward, giving them both some breathing space and let out a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m sorry. It’s difficult. I know I don’t ever say anything, but I thought all that dangerous stuff was over and—”

“Don’t you trust me? Don’t you think I can do this?” The muscle in Ash’s jaw contracted and released.

“Yes! Of course. Oh hell, I’m making a mess of this. Of course I trust you, and I know you’re an experienced boarder, but now… it’s different.”

“Why?” Ash yelled.

“Because I couldn’t bear it if I lost you!”

A stunned silence followed his words.

He lowered his voice. “I care about you, Ash, and I don’t want to lose you.” His heart thundered in his chest as the silence continued. Why didn’t Ash say something? Anything. This was the closest he had ever come to declaring his feelings. Shifting from one foot to the other, he waited.

Ash roughly grabbed at his shoulders and hauled him forward until their lips were only a breath away. “I love you too, James.”

A hard, possessive mouth claimed him with a kiss. With a ragged groan, he responded with all the affection he felt but was still too much of a coward to vocalize.

A few minutes later, they stood in the circle of each other’s arms, Ash’s forehead resting against his cheek.

Ash inhaled deeply, then groaned. “God, you smell good! It really is your most powerful weapon. Guaranteed to distract, disarm, and persuade any man from two paces away.” Ash drew in another deep breath. “Okay, James, you know I have to do this Heli-drop?”

“I know.” His arms tightened around Ash. “But when the time comes, don’t be surprised if I tie you up to keep you away from the danger.”

Ash slid a hand down to squeeze James’s ass. “You know, you don’t have to wait for danger.”

“Oh, I assure you, Mr. Bradley-Mills, I can think of lots of excuses for bondage.” The corners of his mouth curled upward. “Now, kiss me again!”

“Yes, sir!”

T
HE
JARRING
ring of the telephone awoke James. With squinting eyes, he focused on the digital alarm clock by the bed.
Damn!
It was never good news at three in the morning.

“James, this is Brody. You have to come to the hospital. It’s bad.”

After hanging up the phone, he haphazardly threw on some clothes. The drive to the hospital seemed endless, as crazy scenarios ran through his mind. Which one of his worst fears had come to pass? Ash tumbling down the ski slope and landing on rocks, his body covered in blood? Ash’s body—a twisted and broken mess in the snow after falling from the helicopter? A helicopter crash and explosion? An avalanche?
Oh God!
Please don’t let Ash die.

He drew in a deep breath then exhaled slowly.
Right. Calm down.
Fifty, forty-nine, forty-eight, forty-seven, forty-six, forty-five….
For the remainder of the journey he focused on driving safely through the cold, dark streets.

Jess and Brody met him in the small waiting room. With tears welling, Jess hugged him fiercely.