Bitter Ashes (Bitter Ashes Book 1) (15 page)

I grabbed his arms and pinned them over his head, much like how he had pinned me during my sparring lesson. His smile turned into something dark and feral, just as I felt the same smile creep cross my face.

See? I told you I'm no cream puff.

I
had reveled in the feeling of touching and being touched. It was a relief to know that I could still be sexual at all anymore. Since Matthew, I had closed myself off, not even allowing myself the simple pleasure of a kiss for fear of harming someone again.

To go past a kiss and have everything thrown at me in one heaping punch of passion left me nearly delirious. Beyond that, was the feeling of actually going to sleep in someone's arms. It was delectable, but something still itched at me. I couldn't stop thinking about Maya wasting away down in her cell, or even worse, about James taking another shot at her.

I believed what she had told me more than what anyone else had said. She stood nothing to gain in meeting with me, and even told me the very thing that she'd kept from James and Estus. She had tried to leave the Salr, and they brought her back and tortured her. Even the possibility of her choosing to work with our supposed enemies wasn't excuse enough for what had been done to her.

Alaric had long since gone into what seemed a deep sleep as I worried over a woman I barely knew. Of course, I was in bed with a man I barely knew, so I couldn't judge Maya based on that fact alone. I stayed in bed a moment longer, saying in my head
just do it, just do it
, until I finally sat up and gently placed my feet on the floor.

Alaric turned onto his side and reached toward my now-empty spot, but his eyes didn't open. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I couldn't risk waking him. Instead, I crept around the room, picking up the pieces of my clothing that had been thrown haphazardly about. When I had everything, I dressed quickly in the corner as I watched Alaric for any signs that he might be waking up. If he did, I'd just tell him I was going to the bathroom.

After quietly putting my tennis shoes on, I took one more moment to observe Alaric in my bed. It was strange seeing him in such a defenseless position, when normally it seemed like nothing could touch him. I left him there as the warmth of his embrace left my skin.

The halls had a little more light than my room, which I was thankful for, but it also meant that I would be easy to spot. Of course if Stella was out and about, she would sniff me out regardless.

I wasn't sure if I should try to find Maya again, or if I should just look for the charm. Maya had said that there was no way for me to get her out of her cell, but there had to be a way. If someone could put her in, then I should be able to get her out.

I hurried down the hallway, following the twists and turns that led to Sophie's room. She opened the door before I even had a chance to knock and pulled me inside.

“What did he say?” she whispered as soon as the door was shut. “I didn't mean to tell him before you could, but he forced it out of me.”

She'd changed clothes with the obvious intention of not getting any sleep, and was now dressed in skin-tight black leather pants and a billowy black blouse. There was one of those battery-powered touch lights illuminating the room, answering my question as to what we were supposed to do when the Salr decided that it was lights out, though no one had given me a touch light.

“Well, he doesn't fully believe us,” I explained, “but he doesn't want us to get ourselves killed either. I'm not sure how much he'll help, but he'll do his best to make sure we don't get caught.”

Sophie's eyes narrowed at me. “And what took you so long to come here?” she asked suspiciously. “I've been waiting forever.”

My face suddenly felt hot. “I um-” I stammered.

Her eyes widened. “You slept with him! I told you not to.”

I shrugged. “Sorry.”

“Don't be sorry,” she snapped. “Just don't come whining to me when he breaks your heart.”

I didn't know how to respond to that, so instead I asked, “What do we do now?”

She turned away from me and started pacing, reminding me of Alaric. All I wanted was to go and crawl back in bed with him.

“Focus,” Sophie ordered, glancing at me to see that my mind was wandering. “We need to help Maya escape, and we need to find the charm. The problem is which one first. If we help Maya escape, then everyone will be looking for the traitor that did it and it will become more difficult to find the charm in secrecy. We could try finding the charm first, but who knows how long it will take? I don't like leaving Maya down there.”

“Maybe we just shouldn't find the charm at all,” I offered. “If it's such a dangerous thing . . . ”

Sophie shook her head. “If Estus wants it, it will be found. He's already figured out that he needs an executioner to find it. He
will
eventually discover that using the traitor's hearts is the key, even if Maya won't tell him. If he discovers what to do, then we'll have no chance of keeping the charm from him.”

“So you agree with Maya then?” I asked. “She thinks that Estus would be a tyrant, but isn't he kind of already?”

Sophie snorted. “He's only a small scale tyrant right now, and he's kept it hidden well. Most of our people love him. I've never held any love for the man, but my time spent here has been mostly comfortable. I was content, until I found out about Maya. Now I can't ignore the fact that I could end up in a cell just as easily. If what Maya says about the charm is true, then Estus would be a uniting leader among the clans. He wouldn't have to worry about keeping up appearances in order to keep his numbers strong. He would have
all
of the numbers, so what would a few extra deaths mean?”

I sat in order to slow the spinning in my head. “But what would he do with the numbers?” I asked weakly.

Sophie's gaze went faraway, and she spoke like she was standing on the edge of a cliff. “I believe that Maya thinks he would have us on the outside world again, but not how we were before. I am not sure of that. As far as I'm concerned, Estus only wants power. Keeping his people underground under close supervision would give him that. The only thing we know for sure, is that whatever he plans, it isn't good. No one strives for such power for noble reasons. We need to find that charm and get rid of it.”

I stood, my mind made up. “We need to help Maya first.”

“It could ruin any chance we have-” Sophie began.

“We help Maya first,” I said again. “We would still be in the dark if it weren't for her. We can't just take her information and let her rot.”

Sophie eyed me very carefully, then suddenly pulled me into a hug. She whispered, “Thank you,” and then let me go abruptly.

She opened a large closet and started clanking around inside while I waited. I went to the closet door to watch her as she pawed through several large wooden crates.

“I have something in here that could help cut through the bars of Maya's cell,” she explained. “If we can get down there with no one seeing us, we should be able to get her out.”

“Are there no keys?” I asked, puzzled.

Sophie shook her head. “The Salr listens to the Doyen of the clan. If he wants someone to be imprisoned, the cell will not open without his say-so.”

I nodded, creeped out by the idea of the Salr listening to Estus, or anyone for that matter. Buildings were not supposed to be sentient, even when they were magical underground sanctuaries.

I wondered if the Salr knew what we were doing, and would tattle on us to Estus. Of course, if that were the case, Sophie likely wouldn't be talking about things so openly, and we would have already been thrown in cell ourselves.

“So what do we do with her once she's free of the cell?” I asked. “If the only way out is Sivi's pool-”

“That's not the only way out,” Sophie sighed.

I put my hands on my hips. “But Alaric-”

“He lied,” she interrupted, finally turning to look at me. Her face softened at my hurt expression. “He had no choice. He was only following orders.”

Confusion replaced a bit of the hurt, but only a bit. “Why would Estus want me to believe that there was no way out?” I asked. “I mean, I know why he would have said it at first, but it's not like I'm trying to leave anymore.”

“He's not going to risk you getting snatched away,” she said bitterly. “Executioners aren't exactly a dime a dozen, and we've already lost one.”

I cringed. “He already
killed
one you mean.”

Sophie rolled her eyes like it made no difference. “What I'm saying is that he wants to keep you here, badly, and from what you've told me, Sivi wants you to leave just as badly. It all backs up what Maya said.” She stood with what looked like a small stone in her hand.

I eyed it skeptically. “And that's going to get Maya out of her cell?”

“Yes,” Sophie replied. She closed her fingers around the stone and looked me up and down. “Are you ready?” she asked.

“W-what?” I stammered. “You want to go
now
?”

Sophie rolled her eyes at me. “Isn't that what you came here for?”

I shook my head rapidly. “I came here to
plan
. Shouldn't we wake Alaric?”

Sophie's eyes narrowed again. “You left him sleeping in your bed, didn't you?”

I looked down at the floor, embarrassed. In an attempt to change the subject, I asked, “I thought we told him everything because we needed his help. Shouldn't we tell him what we're doing?”

Sophie sighed. “The purpose was to have him willing to help you should anything happen to me tonight.”

It was my turn to narrow my eyes. “You planned on helping Maya tonight regardless of what I chose to do, didn't you?”

Sophie blushed, but met my accusing gaze head on. “I can't leave her there. I can't risk Estus storing her heart with all of the others. If you had chosen to find the charm first, I would have tried to help her on my own.”

I clenched my jaw in frustration. At least she was honest. “So if something
does
happen to you, then what?”

“You flee the scene,” she instructed. “If anyone sees you, you tell them I forced you to help me. Then you and Alaric can find the charm and get rid of it.”

I shook my head. “If I blame you like that, you'll end up just like Maya.”

Sophie's lips twisted into a wry smile. “If we get to the point of you needing to blame me, I will already be dead or on the run. Just promise me that if the former occurs, you'll find a way to release me. I don't want to be stuck in a corpse.”

I nodded. “I promise.”

Sophie hugged me quickly, then pulled away as if embarrassed. “Are you ready?”

“As ready as I'll ever be,” I replied.

Sophie looked at me like she didn't quite believe me, and she shouldn't have. I wasn't ready at all. Being in the Salr was the closest I'd ever come to belonging, and now with Alaric . . . I could be happy. Sophie might argue that, and she might be right, but I could still try. Now I was going to risk it all. Sophie thought I could get away without blame, but there was no guarantee. Just the thought of being under Estus' scrutinizing gaze made me shiver.

I could have tried living in the Salr happily with Alaric, and I was about to risk it all for a woman I'd just met. It was stupid, but I couldn't just leave her there to rot, and I couldn't be blindly happy while people were being tortured for no good reason. Ignorance was bliss, and I already knew far too much.

At first I'd believed that what I was expected to do was just a casualty of war, but what did the other side think about that? It would have been nice to ask the last executioner what he thought about it, but he had been tortured and killed by James, all on Estus' orders.

Even if I didn't want to save Maya, I couldn't just wait idly by for the same fate to befall me. I shook my head at my own foolishness. I should have just left when Sivi gave me the opportunity. I was in way over my head, and sinking fast.

T
he dungeon was just how I remembered it: dark, scary, and filled with pain. We found Maya right where I had left her, but not
how
I had left her. At some point James had taken one of her hands to match her already missing foot.

Sophie started crying the moment she saw Maya curled up in the corner of her cell. The battered woman now reached her one hand through the bars for Sophie to hold while she knelt in front of her.

“I'll kill him for this,” Sophie cried as her whole body shook.

“It wasn't James' fault,” Maya croaked. “He may be a sick bastard, but he was just following orders. Estus is the one who did this to me.”

Sophie looked at Maya defiantly. “And that is who I mean to kill.”

Maya shook her head sadly. “Sophie-” she began.

“Umm,” I said nervously. “Not to interrupt, but we really should get this show on the road.”

“What show?” Maya asked sharply.

“We're busting you out,” I explained as I helped Sophie to her feet.

“No,” Maya rasped. “You can't. You'll just end up down here too.”

Sophie ignored her as she fished the small stone out of the pocket of her leather pants. Before Maya could protest further, Sophie placed the stone against one of the bars. At first nothing happened, then sparks began to fly out from underneath the stone.

Sophie withdrew her hand until the sparks stopped, then peeled the stone away to reveal a clear cut through the bar.

“What the hell was that?” I asked.

Sophie didn't acknowledge me, and instead set to placing the stone on each bar until a perfect cut went two feet across. Next she cut the bottoms of the bars, instructing me to hold each one so it wouldn't fall when it came loose. The bars were much heavier than they looked, and my arms felt like pudding by the time we had a hole big enough for Maya to fit through. Sophie had to crawl inside the cell to help Maya out, since she only had one foot to stand on.

“I wish we had something to help with the pain,” I commented without thinking as they hobbled through the opening.

“Maya doesn't feel pain,” Sophie explained as she practically carried Maya forward.