Bitter Hearts (A Southern Loving Book 3) (6 page)

“Since
I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know you, I know for a fact that you’ve
been on my coat tails since the day we met.” Kari sat the dishes back down on
the table.

“I
made an observation, Kari, your hands have never seen hard work; their soft as
a baby’s ass. The designer clothes and shoes you wear, and not to mention that
expensive car you drive.”

“So,
you’re judging me on my lifestyle?” she scoffed. Forgetting about the dirty
dishes, Kari went into the house and gathered her belongings as Hank followed
her.

“Listen,
you’re taking what I just said out of context,” he said, and tried to touch her
arm, when she flinched away from him. Hank held his hands in surrender. “I didn’t
mean to hurt your feelings.”

“You
didn’t hurt my feelings,” she faked a laugh. “It just baffles me that you don’t
know shit about me, but can draw a conclusion based on what I wear and drive.”

“Kari
you drive around an $80,000 car, which is more than I have in my bank account.
Your shoes are probably the same price as my mortgage,” Hank said in disgust.
“You’ve never worked hard for anything in your life.”

Hank
words struck Kari like a hard slap in the face. Tears welled in her eyes as she
turned around and walked out the door. “We should just keep everything
professional,” she said, right before her voice started to break.

“Ka---Kari
I’m sorry.”

Kari
turned around and put a happy face on. It turned out looking a bit pained.
“It’s okay.”

Hank
wasn’t convinced. “I didn’t mean any harm.”

“Thanks
for lunch,” she said, practically running out of the house and to her car and sped
down the gravel road.

Hank
was torn between telling Kari that he was sorry or leaving things the way it
was with her between them. As he cleaned the kitchen, he tried to stay on task
but his mind kept drifting to Kari and the expression of hurt on her face.

Ever
since the death of his parents at a young age, Hank conditioned himself from
exhibiting specific emotions, sadness, but the breakup with Natalie unraveled
everything he taught himself. He grew up never knowing his daddy and when his
mother Kate died when he was young, Austin’s mother and Hank’s Aunt Charlene
took him in, raising him like he was a McBride. After his uncle and aunt passed
away Hank felt he was all alone in this world, until the day he met Natalie
Michaels.  He thought they wanted the same things; a home, children, stability,
intimacy, spirituality. How someone could decide after three years of marriage
that they were no longer happy or no longer in love? He broke his neck to give
Natalie everything her heart desired and more than she’d ever wanted.

Sitting
down at the kitchen table, he pulled out his cell phone that read no miss
calls. He tried Natalie’s phone number but was met with an automatic greeting
that the number no longer existed. This was final straw, there were no silver
lining for them. The life he loved was over. The only thing that was left was
filing for divorce, which shouldn’t be as easy as it was; there were no kids or
dog to fight over. Nothing exciting was going to come from this, maybe with the
exception of a new found freedom and a life lesson of never trusting another
woman again. Ultimately, he felt like this was the end of his world.

Hopefully
he could find something good about this split. Hank would have to work hard to
find some sort of balance with the direction his life was headed in. He would
have to tell himself to find something or anything positive in this breakup,
but it was hard to believe his own uplifting thoughts. He hated walking away
knowing that he couldn’t do anything to make things right between them.

***

After
a hot shower and glass of wine Kari laid in bed. She tried to close her eyes,
but every time she did Hank’s voice echoed in her head. ‘
I made an
observation Kari, your hands never seen hard work their soft as a baby’s ass.
The designer clothes and shoes you wear and not to mention that expensive car
you drive.’
 He was right even if she didn’t want to admit it. She never
washed dishes a day in her life until she moved to Nashville.

Kari
wasn’t going to apologize that she was born into great financial circumstances
that her family provided for her. The daughter of a prominent real estate
tycoon, Nigel Hayes, and her mother, Clare Jennings, was an heir to an
architect firm with more than several billion dollars in construction since the
early 80’s. Hank was only looking from the outside in, he probably viewed her
as some spoiled brat who got whatever she wants, but he didn’t see that she was
the lonely child who craved for her parents to recognize her. From the time she
was born until she 18 years old, Kari was raised by nannies and housekeepers,
all while her parents were jet setting around the country or working hard. Both
her parents were workaholics, who for the most part she only saw on the
weekends and a few holidays. The most visible parent she had was her nanny
Rita.

Kari
always felt like she never came first in her parents’ life. Her siblings were
older than her and barely paid her much attention. Those feelings of not being
important to her parents followed her through childhood and adulthood it caused
her to be shy, insecure, and timid through her years in college. Somehow
through college she grew out of it but the scars remained. With the breakup
with Sam, the old wounds she thought were healed were starting to bleed again.
Kari had become that insecure woman all over again.

Yes,
she was rich and never had to worry about student loans, paying rent nor how it
felt to struggle. Being wealthy didn’t stop Kari from being driven. She
remembered sitting in her grandfather’s office going over blueprints and
interior design layouts. That was her dream, even when Grandfather Carl
Jennings offer her a role in the business after graduating college, Kari turned
it down to establish her own small company. It wasn’t a fortune 500, but it was
hers.  She didn’t want to be like her siblings, where anything that they wanted
would come to fruition with the snap of her finger. Being away from family and
Beverly Hills gave her a challenge; she didn’t have to use her family’s money
or connections.

Her
sister, Pilar, loved hobnobbing with the rich and famous; pictures of her with
movie stars and recording artists were in almost every magazine.  Pilar evolved
into a party girl, fashion icon, and TV personality. Since her sister was 18
years old she been in and out of substance abuse rehab centers more times than
Kari could count. When thinking about Pilar, people would think it couldn’t get
any better, but it did. Her brother, Bryon, had no sense of direction or any
goals in life. He ran through his inheritance by the time he was twenty-five.
Bryon was struggling and her parents didn’t even notice it. Both of her
siblings were bright and talented but they were also self-centered,
self-destructive, and most of all they were depressed.

Nashville
allowed Kari to discover herself in a brand new world. She wasn’t who she was
before. Kari wasn’t one to live life in the fast lane nor did she purchase
luxurious items. Money wasn’t everything in life. All she wanted was someone to
love her for her and not how deep her pocket was. Her heart pounded quickly in her
chest when she thought about Sam only loving her just for her money. Kari was
questioning every relationship she’d ever had.

Her
mind was going in overdrive as she thought about what she wanted in life. Being
around Hank and receiving the letter from Sam had her thinking about love. With
Sam, she never felt like they were deeply connected.

Reaching
over on the night stand, she called the only person who knew what she was going
through.

“Hel-Hello?”
a soft voice with a hint of a Spanish flavor answered the phone. 

“Hi
Madre.”

When
Kari turned 21 years old Rita left the Hayes’ family to go back home to Mexico
City with a nice retirement package from her mother.  Kari wasn’t shameful that
she called the woman who wasn’t her mother, mom. Rita was there for her for
every step in her life, even wiped her tears when her parents missed countless
school performances and soccer games.  When Rita left to go back to Mexico to
be near her own family and children, Kari felt alone. But it didn’t stop her
from visiting her second mother during the holiday time when her parents were
still too busy to spend it with her.

“My
Hija!
How are you
?”
Rita said happily
.

“I’m
okay,” Kari replied, looking up at the ceiling. “I ju-just needed someone to
talk to.”

“What’s
wrong?”

“Everything,”
she said, sitting up in bed. “Sam is getting married and he sent me a letter.”

“Did
you read it?” Rita asked her voice full of concern.

“A…little,”
Kari mumbled, as she held the phone to her other ear. “I burned the rest.”

“Tsk-tsk,”

She
could picture the older woman shaking her head as if Kari was that small child
again. “He’s getting married and I didn’t want to hear anything that he had to
say.”

“K,
you never got peace.” Rita reminded her. “You reflected on the relationship you
had with Sam as you packed and moved to Nashville.  Out of all the places to
move to with your family connections, you chose a city you’d never been to.”

“I
needed to get away from LA and the limelight.”

“Kari,
you don’t need to prove to anyone that you’re loveable.” Rita’s voice became
soft and nurturing.

“It’s
easy for you to say that,” Kari scoffed, as she padded around the house. Going
into the kitchen she made herself a cold glass of chocolate milk. “You are the
only person who truly cared about me.”

“Kari
Elizabeth Hayes, I love you like you came from my own womb. But I want you to
know that your parents love you just as much. They just show it differently.”

“I
think about how Bryon and Pilar are so fucked up, but I am too,” she mumbled
before taking a sip of her cold chocolate milk.

“I
will not talk about Bryon and Pilar, but Kari you are different my child, I’ve
been telling you that since the day you was born.”

“But
you also told me that I would allow my fear to overshadow true love and
happiness.”

 “My
dear Kari, you’ve always been one to analyze everything,” Rita chuckled. “Always
remember the truth about yourself and don’t get lost in the illusion.”

 Kari
stood there drinking her milk and listen to Rita talking. She was right about
her being scared about experiencing a loving relationship. In the back of her
head she was always waiting for Sam to do something that sent her running to
the hills. Kari remembered her father Carl saying that love only makes a person
weak and vulnerable. She always believed that she wasn’t good enough to be
loved or could be successful enough with her family connections and deep down
she was scared others would find that out.

“Kari,
stop being scared of what you want,” Rita yawned. “Sam wasn’t the man for you
and I told you that when you brought his sly ass home.”

“I
know,” Kari said quickly.

“Move
beyond the fears,” Rita said. “Don’t let it determine your actions.”

“Your
right,” she sighed. Flopping down on the sofa.

“I
know,” Rita laughed. “Get some sleep; I’ll call you later this week.”

“Goodnight,
I love you,” she said before hanging up the phone.

Kari
went back to her bed and laid down. Her heart was already broken and with Sam’s
deceit it was shattered in a million pieces. How could she expect someone to
love her when she didn’t love herself? Kari knew she was still holding onto an
old relationship. It’d been two years since the break-up and she was still
dwelling on what she possibly did wrong or what she could have done different.
The letter and Corey telling her about Sam was causing her to rehash the
situation at hand.

Kari
knew that she would have to revisit the past physically, instead of suffering
from the memories that kept her up at night.

Chapter Four

Country
music that played in the workshop blared over the loud sounds coming from the
saw. It’d been exactly three days since Hank last laid eyes on Kari Hayes. Her
assistant, Corey, arrived the other day to drop off and make sure he received
the expensive mahogany wood and the building plans for the cribs. Hank couldn’t
deny that he was disappointed that it wasn’t Kari who was knocking on his front
door early that morning.

Working
in the woodshop always gave him a peace of mind and allowed him to channel the
creativity that his uncle taught him before dying. He always built furniture
and carved knickknacks for family and friends. A sense of pride washed over him
knowing that he could provide a handmade crib for his cousin’s babies. 

Working
with wood always made Hank think of Sean McBride; the man who raised him like a
son. He was also the man who taught him how to wield a chisel. He remembered
the long, peaceful hours working with his uncle. The years had passed by
quickly and Hank was still trying to get past the grief of losing his mother,
uncle and aunt. Every time he stepped foot in a wood shop or smelled fresh cut
lumber he thought about his uncle and the gift he shared with him.

“Hello,”
said a sweet familiar female voice. “You’re working quickly.”

Turning
off the machine Hank turned to see Kari standing in the doorway; she looked
like she just stepped off a runaway. He shrugged and went back to cutting the
lumber.

Kari
pursed her lips and stepped back from the loud machinery and watched as Hank
expertly cut the wood. Every time the blade sank into the piece she cringed
thinking that he may cut himself. Staying in the workshop would rack havoc on
her sinuses if she stayed longer in the room.

“Did
you get the dimension guidelines and the non-toxic finishing for the cribs?” she
asked.

“I
got it,” he yelled over the grinding of the machine.

Kari
nodded her head.  With nothing else to say, she backed out of the room and went
outside into the cool afternoon air making her way to her car. She was about to
open the door when his voice stopped her.

“Kari.” 
Hank said nonchalantly. “We need to talk.” He walked over towards her.

Tentatively,
Kari closed the car door and took a few steps toward Hank.

“Hank?”
she asked, a little uncertainly. “Is something wrong?”

Hank
shook his head no, as he took off his gloves. “We need to talk.”

“About
what?” she managed to say, tearing her eyes away from his sweaty chest.

“This.”

He
pulled her roughly to him and planted his lips against hers. It was surprising
at first, but Kari finally returns the warming kiss. Having her soft tiny body
pressed against his, molding to fit against his hard muscles and smooth tan
skin, and her soft lips so close he could feel more and the low gasp that
escaped. His fingers ran through her black hair that smelled fruity. The last
time he was around her was tortuous for him, he wanted to kiss her so bad but
instead he was so rude to her.

Kari
pulled back away and looked up at him with confusion.  Hank was confused and
his eyes were glazed with a lust fill hazed. 

“Leave.”
The word came out his mouth but honestly he didn’t want her to go.

“Why?”

“I
will not be able to stop what will happen next,” he warned.

They
stood there in the cool autumn air that was becoming thick and heated.  The
tense atmosphere became stifling and suffocating as they both took a deep
breaths to steady themselves.

 Hank’s
jaw muscle twitched, as well as another parts of his anatomy. Kari stepped
towards him and ran her small fingers up his biceps. He slowly wrapped his arms
tightly around her waist. Just one touch from Kari had him tingling. Tightening
his arms around her until he felt that closeness they had a few moments ago,
her breasts pressed hard against the rippling muscles of his shirtless chest.

Kari’s
stomach fluttered. She didn’t know if she was making the best decision or the
worst. A few days ago at dinner, she experienced a connection with Hank that
was unspoken. That kiss they shared earlier had taken control of all her
senses.

Hank
leaned in; he watched as Kari eyes fluttered closed, her lips parted as she ran
her tongue across her lower lip.

His
lips wanted to dance with hers once more, but this time he wanted to take it
slow and savor Kari. Hank kissed the crook of her neck. He inhaled deeply; she
smelled sweet, fresh, and feminine, with a hint of violet and he couldn’t see
to get enough. Hank groaned loudly as he placed a lingering, wet kiss against
the column of her neck, causing her to shiver in his arms.

Kari
closed her eyes as she felt his lips traveled up the slope of her neck, leaving
feather light kisses along her jaw and blazing a trail of heat up to her ear.
The uncertain feeling she was having a second ago was quickly disappearing as
she felt his warm breath caress her ear. Hank’s smoky voice caused butterflies
in her stomach and wetness to pool between her thighs.

“Kari-”

“Kiss
me,” she moaned.

They
were too far gone to turn back now. He wanted to know, to make sure this was
what she really wanted. He didn’t see regret in her whiskey eyes, or that
confused look he’d seen earlier. Hank didn’t know what he wanted other than to
kiss her.

Kari
swallowed hard. Her body was on fire with want, desire, and anticipation. Her
hands moved up his shoulders and draped around his neck, her fingers slipped
through his shaggy brown hair and pulled his head down to hers. She shuddered
as his hand traveled slowly up her stomach. The sensual touch caused her
nipples to pebble. Hank pushed her curly hair over her shoulder. Cupping the
back of her head, his fingers tangled in her thick hair. His other hand went to
the small of her back.  He tilted her head down so that he could look into
those beautiful eyes. He leaned in and his warm, soft lips brushed lightly
against hers.

She
let out a whimper as she craved more from him. Their lips moved slowly
together, melding to one another. The first few kisses were tender and gentle.
Gradually, the kisses turned heated and hungry.

His
tongue glided to her bottom lip, demanding entrance. His soft, warm tongue
plunged inside probing and exploring the warm juiciness of her mouth. Kari
moaned, which amplified Hank’s desire, needs, and wants. He was on the brink of
losing control. Kari’s body was electrified with just one kiss.

Ahem

They
were both frozen for a second before they scrambled away from one another. Turning
around, they saw Farrah and Austin McBride standing there with a knowing smile
on their faces. Hank’s face was red with embarrassment as his cousin stared at
him with a huge smirk on his face.

“Should
we come back later?” Austin asked, looking back and forth between Kari and
Hank.

“No…No…We’re
done,” Kari said, stuttering awkwardly. “Actually, I was just checking out
Hank-I mean the crib.”

“You
don’t say,” Austin teased. “How’s everything looking?”

“Excellent,”
Hank answered, looking at Kari.

“Which
one, the cribs or Kari?” Austin replied in a deadpan voice.

Hank
blinkingly looked at Austin. “Enough.”

“I
have some samples that I have to pick up from the seamstress for our
appointment tomorrow,” Kari said, looking at Farrah. 

“I
can’t wait,” Farrah smiled.

Hank
stood there watching Kari. He could feel his cousin staring at him and knew
that the teasing would come. “Hold on,” Hank said to Austin, before jogging to
Kari as she sat in her car. He leaned in. Her eyes widened and darted to Austin
and Farrah, who were staring at them. His lips captured hers the instant she
looked back at him, a sweet soulful kiss that held a promise.

“Can
I see you tomorrow?” he rasped.

“Yes,”
she responded in a husky voice.

He
kissed her cheek and closed the door. Hank stood in that spot as he watched her
drive away.

“So,
what’s going on with you and Kari?” Farrah questioned, standing next to him.

“I
don’t know where my relationship is going with Kari. I had dinner with her a
few nights ago and I know that there is this feeling I can’t explain,” he said
truthfully. “I haven’t fully gotten over Natalie, but the first step is filing
for divorce which I already have my attorney on. I already arranged a meeting
with Clark when I arrive in Dallas.”

“All
I ask is for you to take a lesson from this hurt and use it as a healing
process-” Farrah started to say.

“Take
what you learn into a new relationship,” Austin finished for her.

“How
come you guys are taking about a relationship?” Hank said, with a sour look on
his face.

“Fine,
I won’t say relationship, but all I’m asking is for you to learn about genuine
unconditional love.” Farrah touched his hand. “That doesn’t have anything to do
with infatuation, lust, or what makes you happy. Find the meaning of true
intimacy that can touch your soul.”

Hank
thought about what his Farrah had just told him, when he thought about the
relationship that he shared with Natalie he realized that they didn’t’ have a
deep connection. They fell in love quickly and next came marriage. He thought
by sacrificing, and tolerating Natalie’s negative behavior was proof that he
loved her. Now that he thought about it, it wasn’t love at all.

Where
was the understanding, seeing and hearing and accepting him for who he was?
Hearing Farrah’s words aloud made him realize that the marriage that Natalie
and him had was conditional.

“You
just need someone who is going to simply love and adore you,” Farrah said in a
low voice.

“Did
you guys come all this way to talk about relationships?” Hank asked, slipping
on his gloves to get back to work on the cribs.

“Actually,
the state fair is this weekend and Greg the lead guitarist is still recovering
from a broken leg,” Austin said hesitantly. “I need you, bro.”

Austin
had his pick of the liter to find someone to play alongside him at the concert.
A second ticked by before Hank gave his answer. “Just for the state fair.”

Farrah
nudged Austin and cleared her throat.

“Well---See
if Greg isn’t ready by the Country Music Awards I was thinking you could…”

“Oh,
hell no.” Hank shook his head vehemently, “You said state fair, and before you
know it you’re going to want me on the road with you or worse in the studio.”

“It’s
a paying gig,” Farrah said, trying to help.

“Hank
doesn’t need the money,” Austin said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “He has
more than enough money. He may appear to be the ranch manager in both places
but Hank is a wealthy man with all those smart investments and not to mention
the ranch in Wyoming that his grandfather left him.”

“I
thought…” Farrah said, appearing in shock.

“That
he’s poor?” Austin shook his head no. “But it’s not my story to tell.”

“I’ll
do it,” Hank said reluctantly. “But only until Greg is up and at it.”

“Thanks
I’ll owe you one.” Austin gave him a brotherly hug.

“You
should come back to the house for dinner,” Farrah interjected.

“I
need to finish up the cribs before Kari is up my neck,” he said, and started
make his way to workshop.

“Or
in your pants,” Austin quipped raising an eyebrow.

“I’m
making grilled chicken with a whiskey barbecue sauce and my famous spicy
coleslaw,” Farrah said quickly.

“You
know what, I’m not going to say anything,” Hank said, taking off the gloves he
just put on. “I know we tease you relentlessly.”

“Is
that what you say,” Austin laughed, as he guided Farrah to the pickup truck.

“Plus
I can’t turn down Farrah’s cooking.” Hank rubbed his stomach that was growling.
His mouth was already watering and he hadn’t even taken a bite of the food.

***

Kari
walked into her office with the biggest smile. That wasn’t her first sensual
kiss in her lifetime; she’d had plenty of boyfriends in her past. Sitting in
the chair behind the desk, her hands went to her lips that missed Hank’s
attention. Kari never had a kiss that awakened her sexuality. Sighing, she
picked up her ink pen to concentrate, but she couldn’t contain the giddy
feeling she was having. She was behaving like a schoolgirl who just experienced
her first kiss.

“What
is that look on your face?” Corey asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

“Nothing,”
she said as she picked up papers and stacked them on her desk.

“Is
this about that handsome cowboy, who looked disappointed when I went to see him
the other day at the ranch?” Corey pried.

“Who
Hank?”

“Who
Hank,” he mimicked. “Duh! He was looking at the door the whole entire time I
gave him the dimensions for the crib and the print out. If you asked me, he
thought you was going to walk in the house at any moment.”