BITTER MEMORIES: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival (17 page)

Then, I saw it was! 

“Daddy!” I whispered. “Daddy, up here! Please hear me! Help me, Daddy!”

I tried to yell, but only a faint whisper came out. Slipping, I screamed, but no audible sound escaped. Still, he must’ve heard some noise because he looked up.

When he saw me, naked and scared, his jaw dropped. He stared, motionless for the longest time, and when he did speak, his voice carried an air of horrified shrillness.

“Sarah? What the hell? What are you doin’ up there?” He gulped, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. “And with no clothes on!”

“Daddy, help me. Janet put me up here, then took it,”
I whispered, pointing to the ladder lying on the ground.

Shaking his head, he put the ladder against the house and climbed up. “Come on, baby, I got you.” Picking me up, he carried me down the ladder, and once he had me on the ground, still frowning, he asked, “Why did Janet put you on top of the house?”

“I was sick…threw up in plate…refused to eat…hit me. Locked in closet… snakes…put on roof.”
Between sobs and sneezes, I relayed, in pieces, what Janet had done to me.

“It sounds to me like you’re delirious, Sarah. Janet wouldn’t do that! But, shit! How
did
you get up there?” He shook his head, not knowing what to believe. “Come on, let’s get you inside and into bed.” 

He saw Janet passed out on the couch, an empty bottle of bourbon next to her, when he carried me through the living room and into my room. Shivering, I sneezed over and over. He placed me on the bed and covered me with the blanket.

It felt so good to lie in my soft bed again, I instantly fell asleep.

When I awoke, Jimmy was crying. He howled at the top of his lungs, but he sounded far away. I wondered if he was in his crib, and also wondered where Janet was. And, Daddy? Where was he?

Stiffly, I rolled out of bed, knowing I had to go check on Jimmy. He cried a lot, but it wasn’t like him to scream. I went into the living room, turned on the lamp, and saw Janet, still sprawled out on the couch.

“Figures! Passed out, as usual.”

Still mumbling to myself, I went into the bedroom. Jimmy stopped crying when he saw me, and I looked around the room. Everything seemed to be in place, except for his bottle on the floor. I picked it up and started to give it to him, but the milk looked dark and thick.

“It’s spoiled!” I exclaimed. “When did Janet take care of him last?”

The moment I left the room, Jimmy started screaming again. Back in the living room, I turned on the other lamp, and looked around. “Damn! It’s a fuckin’ mess!”

Then, I vaguely remembered hearing Daddy yelling at Janet just before I fell asleep, and figured, by the way the room looked, they must’ve had one knock-down, drag-out fight. I sat down on the floor, dazed, when I heard a car out front.

Several minutes passed before the door opened and Daddy came into the room. He saw me sitting on the floor, and said, “Hurry up, Sarah, go pack your stuff. We have to get outta here, fast!” His voice was an octave higher than normal. “Hurry up, Sarah! I mean it! We have to leave, now!” 

His voice sounded so desperate, I went into my room, threw the little bit of stuff I had in my little red suitcase, then went back into the living room. Daddy had been frantically tearing the place more apart than it already was.

I thought it so strange that Janet never moved. 

“Come on, Sarah. Let’s go!” He pushed me toward the door. “And don’t touch anything! I hope I wiped our fingerprints off everything.”

“Daddy, what about Jimmy!?” I screamed. “The milk in his bottle is bad! I don’t know when Janet fed him.”

“I’ll give him a new bottle, but Sarah, I can’t be tied down with a damn baby! I can’t take care of him. Now, go! Get in the car. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Climbing into the back seat, I thought about poor little Jimmy, crying, and all alone. Daddy said he loved him. How could he just leave him? How could he not care? I could’ve taken care of him! I took care of him more than Janet ever did!

I cried while waiting for Daddy. I felt so sad.

It had just started to get light, and the early morning air still felt very cold. I pulled my blanket up around my neck, realizing how sore my fingers were from hanging on to the roof. My throat really hurt when I swallowed, and I still ached all over from the last beating.

I hurt from head to toe, and even though I felt extreme sadness about leaving Jimmy, I also felt relieved. I smiled as Daddy sped away from the house with the dirty white fence and the tractor in the yard.

“Where are we going, Daddy?”

“To California. My sister can take care of you for a while.”

Not wanting to ask questions, I sat quietly and tried to think about going to California, but I couldn’t get Daddy leaving Jimmy out of my head. I wondered if Janet would take all her anger out on him since she wouldn’t have me to beat on.

“Daddy, what’s gonna happen to Jimmy?” 

“I don’t know, Sarah. Someone will take care of him.”

I didn’t know what he meant by
someone
would take care of him. Then I wondered if Daddy wasn’t taking me to his sister’s house so he could leave me, too. The thought of him leaving scared me. After several minutes passed I found the nerve to ask.

“Are you gonna leave me, Daddy?”

“Of course not, baby. You’re gonna stay with Molly just until I finish a job. Should only be a couple of weeks, then I’ll be back.” 

He sounded sincere, and I didn’t really know why, but I didn’t believe him. In the back of my mind, I’d always known someday he’d leave me, just like he left all the women over the years. And Jimmy. I lay down and softly cried myself to sleep.

Daddy drove day and night, only stopping for gas, and spoke very little. It wasn’t until we crossed into California that he seemed to relax some, and said, “I’m gonna get a room for a few hours, Sarah. I need to get some sleep. I’m really tired.”

He turned on the TV in the room for me, then he fell across the bed and was asleep within moments. I sat in the chair watching some movie until I fell asleep.

We never spoke of Janet or Jimmy again, and he never asked any more questions about the things Janet had done to me, or about what she did when he went out of town. I knew there were lots of things I wanted to tell him, but I didn’t want to make him mad, so I said nothing.

I still couldn’t shake the sadness about Jimmy, but I’d never been happier about Daddy leaving any woman than I was of him leaving Janet. I always hated her.

Jean whispered,
“Since we’re not gonna tell Daddy what happened to us, I guess it’ll remain our fuckin’ secret, forever!”

“Aye, our bitter memories, Jeannie. Besides, we don’t want to hurt Daddy, eh?”

“No, Scottie. We don’t want to hurt Daddy.”

Fifteen

1958 – Lubbock, Texas

After a restless night, morning came too soon for Henry. He and Olivia had another big argument before he’d gone to bed. She wouldn’t believe Violet hadn’t been drinking, and claimed Violet had been driving everyone crazy with her constant re-enactment of the kidnapping.

“Mother’s having another
spell
, as Dad calls it,” Violet had relayed on last night’s call. “She woke up screaming again, saying Sarah’s dead. She’s hysterical, Henry. You’re the only one she’ll believe.”

After each
spell
, Henry had been able to convince his mother that Sarah was laughing and happy wherever she was, but last night, after he returned home from calming her, the argument with Olivia had gotten pretty nasty.

That had been the fifth call in two weeks, and Henry was in no mood for her negativity, but Olivia was more convinced than ever that Violet’s drinking was the cause of his mother’s spells, and that she was also driving Barbara to drink.

“Olivia, no one can
drive
Barbara to do anything she doesn’t want to do! Besides, by the time she stumbles into the damn house Violet’s already asleep. Stop picking on Violet!”

He thought that would shut her up, but when Olivia started making her ungodly faces, he’d lost his temper, and without thinking what he was saying, brought up
sex
. 

“SEX, SEX, SEX! That’s all you think about!”

“Well, if
you’d
get laid once in a while, you wouldn’t be such a
bitch
!” he blurted out in comeback.

Henry had only seen Olivia cry twice in all the years he’d known her, but he’d pushed the limit when he called her a bitch. She’d stormed out of the room, bawling, and he’d gone to bed without apologizing—but thought,
why should I apologize? After all, I only told the truth
! 

Still, the faces made, along with her crying, had haunted his sleep all night. When he’d gone into the dining room dressed for work, she sat at the table, still fuming. 

“Do you want coffee?” she asked coldly, not looking at him.

“No, thanks. I need to get to work early this morning.”

She nodded, and since he didn’t want to start another argument, he held his tongue, put on his hat, and walked out the door without another word, but mumbled while walking to the car, “She’s just bent out of shape because she knows I’m right.” He climbed behind the wheel, adding, “She’ll get over it.”

Backing out of the driveway, he decided not to give it another thought.

Arriving in his office an hour early, no one was there for him to talk to. He’d gone to check the teletype that came in during the night when the phone rang.

“Detective Division, Frye speaking.”

“Detective, this is Agent Monroe, FBI. I just had an anonymous tip that your niece might be in California, and if so, although it hasn’t been verified yet, it seems your brother-in-law may have a sister—”

“What do you know about this sister?” Henry asked,
interrupting the agent. “Eli said he was an only child.”

“Not much, I’m afraid. Like I said, if the informant is correct, she may live in California. The caller didn’t say what city, only that her name is Molly, she’s married, no kids.”

“Did the caller give the husband’s name?”

“No. If she knew it, she didn’t say. I know this isn’t much to go on, but hopefully it gives you a place to start, and of course, we’ll do what we can on this end.”

“Thank you, Agent Monroe. You’ve given me some valuable information to work with. If you hear anything else, please let me know.”

“Of course, Detective. And, there’s one other thing. The caller said she thought the little girl might’ve been mistreated
—
”

“Mistreated?” Henry interrupted again. “In what way?”

“She didn’t say, and she hung up before I could ask any more questions. I’m sorry, Detective. I should’ve waited for verification, but I know you’ve been waiting for
any
news. Unfortunately, I don’t know anything more than what I’ve just told you.”

“All right. Thank you for calling, Agent. Goodbye.” Henry hung up the receiver, thought over what Agent Monroe had said, then headed for the captain’s office.

Excitement began to build as he hurried down the hall. Forgetting to knock, he burst into Jake Miller’s office, yelling, “Cap, you won’t believe this! I just spoke to an agent with the FBI…there’s a woman…an anonymous tip…but we have a lead on where Sarah might be!”

“Slow down, Henry. Take a breath.” Jake motioned for Henry to sit.

He sat for thirty seconds then jumped up, shouting, “She might be in California! Eli has a sister!”

“That’s great, Henry. Tell me what you want to do, slowly.”

“I wanna go to California, Jake! Her name’s Molly, she’s married….” Taking a breath, he sat down and looked at his captain.

“That’s it? No city? No last name?” Jake grinned.

“That’s it, Cap!” Noticing Jake’s grin, he realized what he sounded like and shook his head. “Kinda stupid wantin’ to run off to a big place like California with nothin’ to go on.” He laughed at himself. “I’m acting like a damn rookie cop. Sorry, Cap.”

“That’s okay, Henry. You have the right to be excited. This is the first good lead we’ve had. Now, tell me again, what you want to do.” Jake laughed.

“Cross-check all the Molly’s in California. Find the married ones without kids and start checking them out.”

“That’s better. Ask Brian and Scott to help. They just turned in paperwork from their last case, and have nothing going on right now.”

“Thanks, Jake. I know they’ll be glad to help. They almost want the bastard as badly as I do.” Henry left Jake’s office, thankful to be acting like a seasoned cop again.

He found Brian and Scott, told them about the phone call and what he needed. Of course, neither officer argued, but said in unison, “Let’s get the SOB.” 

The three detectives pulled out all stops to locate Molly in California, thinking, if only they had a last name or even a street name, but they knew, sometimes ya just gotta go with what ya got and pray the pieces fall into place.

They spent every spare moment searching all resources available. After numerous weeks, they’d found a long list of Molly’s living in California within the last five years.

Next they checked the Department of Motor Vehicle records. Henry believed Molly would be close to the same age as Eli—within five years or so—which helped shorten their list. Then they eliminated all single Molly’s, as well as any with kids.

After many more weeks of burning the midnight oil they had the list cut down considerably. “Brian, Scott, thank you for staying with me on this. It’s down to a workable number, and with any luck, we’ll find Sarah and bring her home.” Henry smiled.

“Glad to help,” Scott said. “Hell, if she was our niece, you’d do the same for us.”

“That’s right, Henry. Find that little girl and get her back where she belongs,” Brian added. “If we can do anything else to help, just let us know.”

“I will. Thanks, guys. Now, why don’t we go home and get some much needed sleep? It’s three-thirty in the freaking morning!”

“Good idea. My wife will be surprised to have me home so early!” Brian laughed and headed for the door. “Night, boys.”

“Henry, ya want to come over for a nightcap before going home?” Scott asked.

“Thanks, Scott, but I’m beat. Can I get a rain check?”

“Anytime, buddy. Always have a bottle of Jack in the cabinet just for you.”

Driving home, Henry turned off the radio so he could think more clearly. He knew he had to turn his list over to the FBI, but that didn’t damper his feelings of joy.

Climbing in bed, he fell asleep within minutes and dreamed of knocking on Molly’s door, and as the door opened, Sarah would be standing in front of him, smiling, happy to see him.

After only an hour of sleep, Henry thought he’d still be exhausted, but with adrenaline flowing, he awoke refreshed, ready to make his dream come true.

He expected to find Olivia sitting in the dining room, but the house appeared deserted. She had told him she’d be walking again, so assuming she’d started those walks, he wasn’t waiting around. He had important things to do this
morning.

First he’d inform Jake. Then, he’d take the list over to the FBI so they could narrow the search and, ultimately, find Molly whatever-her-name—and Sarah.

Picking up his hat, he left the house with a big grin on his face.