Bitter Winds (2 page)

Ivy heard a coin drop in the can and let herself get lost in her thoughts. Lily paused and then began to play a slow, somber song. Ivy immediately recognized it as Hu Kun’s “Song of Homesickness.” She sighed. The song was both a blessing and a curse. Since the first time Ye Ye had played it to teach it to Lily, Ivy had discovered it unearthed the memories she had of their mother. It was something she’d never told anyone, but the song somehow brought to mind the curve of the woman’s face, a hint of a smile, and the lilt of her voice. The good things—before everything had turned bad. Ivy didn’t want to talk about their past, and when her sister tried to bring it up, Ivy usually shut her down before much could be said. What Lily didn’t understand was that Ivy held a secret. A secret that could change everything her sister felt for the woman who gave her life. But some secrets were too terrible to speak aloud.

Still, she’d always remember the words her mother had whispered in her ear as the police were dragging them away.
I’m sorry.
Take care of your sister
.

So far, Ivy had done that. They rarely ever spoke of their time before Ye Ye took them in. They didn’t even use their birth names. Doing so would’ve been too painful. But in the moments she didn’t hate her, Ivy hoped her mother knew her plea had been heeded. Even as she wanted to forget the woman, something in her still yearned to be reunited just once more so she could ask her
why
she’d done what she did that night. Lily may not have understood or remembered what went on, but Ivy would never forget.

The song ended and a few more people came forward to drop money into Lily’s can. Ivy began to clap slowly. She didn’t really see an official, but she didn’t want Lily to tire out and, anyway, she was ready to go home. Lily quickly put her instrument and bow back in the case and buckled it, then stood waiting for Ivy. She clutched the can to her chest, smiling triumphantly.

“Come on, Lily, you did really well. I wish you could have seen their expressions.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I felt it,” Lily said, grabbing Ivy’s arm and moving with her toward the park gates. “Now, let’s take it slow. I’m going to figure out the distance and landmarks so maybe next time I can come here without you.”

“Lily, don’t be ridiculous. You aren’t ready for that yet.” Ivy didn’t know what was up with Lily lately and her new streak of independence, but there was no way she was going to let her try to get all the way to the park by herself. Traversing up and down the
hutong
alone was one thing, but taking on the city streets and traffic—no way.

She watched as Lily ran her hand along the concrete fencing surrounding the park, counting under her breath how many steps to each post, pausing to listen to the sounds around her and settle her sense of direction. She nudged her along, hoping Lily would get that idea out of her head.

They reached the intersection and Lily turned her head toward Ivy. “Don’t lead me—I’ll tell you when we should go.”

“Lily, No! The traffic’s terrible today, I’ll guide you.”

“No. Be quiet so I can listen.” Lily turned her ear to the road and stepped out when she heard a slight lull in the traffic.

Ivy cringed but walked evenly beside her. Her sister was getting more stubborn every day. While the noise of pedestrians, car horns, and bicycles gathered around them, Ivy went back to her thoughts to take her mind off the looming vehicles as she let Lily win her tiny battle.

L
i Jin put the finishing touches on the birthday cake and poked in eleven candles. She could hardly believe merely months ago she and Jojo were alone in the world and now they would be celebrating his birthday with more than a dozen others. After so many years of being labeled as an orphan, she would never have predicted her birth parents would finally track her down. But here she was, suddenly—and miraculously—surrounded by family in a building that wasn’t just a home for them, but had been converted to a shelter. Now Li Jin had her hands full taking care of not only her newfound family, but others from in and around town who needed a place to call home.

Coming to Wuxi hadn’t been an easy decision, either. Li Jin had thought long and hard, but in the end her desire to have a real family won out over her long-held resentment of feeling abandoned. When Auntie Wan, the wise old woman she’d met a year ago when she’d been on the run from Erik, had taken her aside and reminded her of the old Chinese proverb, “Each generation will reap what the former generation has sown,” Li Jin knew she needed to foster a change that would make her son’s childhood much better than hers. She wanted to surround him with love and family, so hopefully he’d know very little of the pain of rejection she’d felt.

And Jojo had made the decision easier, as the few weeks in Hongcun getting to know his grandparents had brought out an obvious yearning in him Li Jin had never seen before. It wasn’t so much that he
wanted
family—though he did—but it was plain to see he
needed
it. With the attention his newfound grandfather showered on him, Jojo had flourished.

So far the hardest part of their move was dealing with Sami. They’d bonded in Hongcun and pledged to stay together no matter what. It had taken some convincing, but Sami had finally agreed to join her in Wuxi and be a part of Li Jin’s new family. But during the first few months of settling in, Sami had mysteriously turned up pregnant with no explanation to who the father was or even any clue that she’d been seeing anyone. Li Jin knew Sami was still struggling emotionally from her past, and she refused to judge her for her indiscretion. Sami had been on the receiving end of so much abuse in her life, Li Jin was determined to be her one unwavering source of support. Sighing, she still wished Sami would embrace their new surroundings more. With her sour attitude and unwillingness to get involved in any of the family events, she still looked miserable every moment.

Li Jin glanced at the table in the corner and smiled. Jasmine sat there, her brow creased in concentration over a sheet of paper as she drew the outline of a flying panda. The little girl had taken to following Li Jin everywhere and she couldn’t say she minded. Jasmine was sweet and looked up to Jojo as if he were a big brother.

Li Jin put her finger to her lips and looked around the room. What else could she do to make the day special? Not only was Jojo getting a few red envelopes of money, but she’d also let her Baba know all his grandson really wanted was a yo-yo. One word was all the old man needed to hear and he was out the door and back in a flash, his wrapped gift taking center court among all the others. He’d also gotten Jojo a jade stone with the character for protection carved into it, to hang around his neck.

Now her Baba—
it was still so strange to have a real father
—had taken Jojo out to keep him busy while her new sisters decorated the gathering room. The sounds from both the family hall and the opposite hall that housed the shelter’s residents all echoed around and surrounded her kitchen, which was located between the two. Li Jin never got tired of hearing the sounds of laughter and life around her. The party would be a great way to end a long week of hard work by everyone who’d lent a hand to the cooking, cleaning, and renovations of the place, but more importantly it would be one more event to cement her new family ties.

Some of their new residents would also join them and Li Jin hoped they’d feel comfortable. She’d stuck to tradition—other than the fancy cake—and made longevity noodles and steamed buns. The noodles, steamed in a savory stock of soy sauce, chicken broth, and sesame oil, were a tradition in Chinese families, as they represented long life. Jojo always enjoyed the challenge to eat the noodles without breaking them.

Li Jin put her hands on her hips and looked around the kitchen.
Her kitchen
. A safe place where she could use her hands and her taste buds to create comfort. She felt a sense of peace surround her. She’d finally found her calling.

Li Jin still thought it ironic she had found something to feel passionate about with the money she’d taken from her ex-boyfriend’s drug cache the day she’d left him. She’d used it to buy an abandoned factory and, with her parents’ help, they’d opened their own shelter. They’d named it Rose Haven, after the very first abandoned child who had come into her father’s life. Li Jin looked around her kitchen and thought of Auntie Wan’s kitchen in Hongcun, which had inspired her own. She’d tried to make the room just as inviting by repeating Auntie
Wan’s style of table, rugs, and decorations; she felt hers came close to carrying the same warmth she’d felt there. Although Moon Harbor had been strictly for abused women, Li Jin’s place would be open to anyone who needed a home. Adults and children of any age; orphans, beggars, and even abused women could apply to live under their roof—but they had to agree to work as a team to make everything run. Things weren’t perfect. The financial responsibilities were a challenge, but so far with small funds coming in from a few different areas, they were making do.

Li Jin still could barely believe the road her life had taken. The building that was once a shoe factory now housed at least fifty people who, like her at many times in her life, felt hopeless and alone. Some only stayed temporarily, until they could make other arrangements or be taken in by family, but others had nowhere else to go but the streets and were thankful to have a shelter they could count on long term.

With Nai Nai, Ye Ye, Sami, and all the girls pitching in, they were turning lives around and bringing hope back into once-empty eyes. Rose Haven was a family affair and, finally, Li Jin felt what it was like to be a part of a family.

“Li Jin?”

Li Jin looked up to see her mother come in, her arms full of red paper streamers. A line of girls trailed behind her, waiting for direction. Four of the six were now her sisters. Behind two teenage runaways were Ivy, Lily, and Peony, and all were eager to help. Little Maggi Mei rolled her chair behind them, smiling and ready for her orders. Li Jin was glad they’d arrived, as they needed to get the party done and cleaned up so she could start preparations for dinner. She’d discovered she loved cooking for so many, but it was indeed a challenge.

“Yes?” She wiped her hands on her apron and pushed a stray hair behind her ear. Her mother came close and Li Jin inhaled the comforting scent of dough and freshly powdered babies that seemed to cling to her at all times.

“Come help us hang some of these, dear. I want Jojo’s first party with us to be festive,” her mother said, and smiled, her round face breaking into a million crinkly lines; a sight that in the last year of getting to know her own mother, never failed to warm Li Jin’s heart.

She untied her apron and laid it across the counter. “Coming, Mama.”

Li Jin wrapped her arms around Jojo and squeezed. Finally the party was winding down and he had settled into one spot to practice his yo-yo. Unlike the first cheap yo-yo he’d received from her ex so long ago, this one was top of the line with flickering lights and even sounds.

“Are you happy,
erzi
?”

Jojo nodded and squirmed to get loose. Li Jin could see him glance over to see if Sami was watching and she let go. Her son had a crush on Sami—that was obvious. Who could blame him? Even with the extra weight she’d put on, with her silky long hair and perfect features, Sami was still very beautiful. And Jojo didn’t want to be treated like a little boy, especially in front of Sami.

“What was your favorite part of this day?” Li Jin asked as she sat back, forcing herself to stop touching him.

Jojo looked through the room and pointed into the brightly lit kitchen. Li Jin thought he would say his yo-yo, his cake, or that he got to eat as many noodles as he wanted, but no—her son never ceased to amaze her.

“Well, I think my favorite part is now I have two grandfathers.”

Li Jin looked at the two men sitting at the table, then at the scene around her. She was happier than she’d ever been and was almost afraid to allow herself to feel it. It was all just about too good to be true and that scared her. What if it was all taken away?

But even if it all ended today, she’d at least know she was a changed person from having known them all, even for a brief moment. She’d already let go of her anger against her parents once she understood she hadn’t been abandoned, but instead was abducted.

She’d even released the need for vengeance against her ex, Erik, for the way he’d abused her. Now she felt lighter and even healthier. She’d never imagined she’d be a part of such an amazing family, and looking toward brighter beginnings was easier now. Her father had taught her a valuable lesson in forgiveness. He’d allowed his own father—her grandfather—to be a part of Jojo’s celebration. The old man had come bearing gifts, but most importantly, he’d begged Li Jin’s forgiveness for his part in disrupting her life. She’d given him that easily. Li Jin was tired of holding grudges and
eating bitterness,
as the elders liked to say. And after all, it wasn’t him; it was his wife, Li Jin’s grandmother, who had taken her from her parents and sent her to an orphanage.

Two grandfathers—yes, Jojo was right. Now her Baba and Lao Zheng, father and son, both old men, sat together drinking oolong tea and somberly catching up on what they’d missed in each other’s lives. Her mother fluttered around them, sometimes sitting for spells, then getting up to do something else for one of the girls. Even she had forgiven the old man, after telling him they didn’t want to ever speak of his wife in their home, and with her mother’s words of mercy, anyone could have seen the obvious change in Lao Zheng.

“You sure do, Jojo. Two grandfathers, a grandmother, and a whole pack of aunties! Now if you get into trouble, I have plenty of people who will help me straighten you out.”

Jojo smiled up at her and she knew it was unlikely she’d ever have to call on anyone for help. Jojo had handled the last year of changes like a champ. No one would ever guess the trauma he’d been through. His grandfather had even pulled strings to get him a new
hukou
so he could attend school in Wuxi, and he was catching up on all he’d missed. Li Jin expected to hear he was at the top of his class any day.