Bittersweet (12 page)

 

 

One day stretched almost seamlessly into the next. Or it least it felt that way to me, being lost in one long unending nightmare. Mom was happy now that I drove myself to school in the mornings, and as usual I picked up Abby along the way. She fiddled with the radio until she found a song she could sing to. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. She seemed happy.
Too
happy. Why did it worry me so much?

Turning my attention to the road, I concentrated on navigating the slick streets of Drearyton Cove. A town not known for filling potholes, as we were bounced out of our seats more than a few times along the way to Abby's house. But I didn't realize how heavily I was pressing on the gas until Abby clutched the seat and screamed. I slammed on the brakes and swerved to avoid a crevice in the road that could have swallowed the front end of my car in one gulp and nearly missed slamming into a parked minivan.

Her head whipped in my direction. “Oooh-kaaay, are ya
drunk
? Because that's information I should have known before agreeing to death by minivan. What's with the speed demon?”

Putting the car in park, I slumped against the steering wheel. I hadn't realized the draining effect Abby's obsession was having on me. And that bothered me more than anything else. Who cares what he did? As long as he kept her safe and in one piece, what was the harm? Abby was into him, and once she made up her mind about who she liked…well, even a supernatural being would be hard pressed to untangle themselves from her web. It made sense for them to hook up while he was here. So why did the whole idea make my teeth grind?

Abby regained her composure and squinted over at me. “You're stressed. Is this about Zanthiel?”

When I didn't answer right away, she nodded. “It is, isn't it?”

I cast a furtive glance in her direction. “Do you think he's the best choice?” I said quietly.

“You're being judgey and you don't even know him.”

“I know his type. Everywhere he goes he leaves behind a wreckage of girls' hearts.”

“Ha ha.”

“I'm serious, Abby, falling for a guy like him could be dangerous to a girl's sanity.”

She laughed. “That's so not a problem for me. While I appreciate the support and grandmotherly warnings and all, I'm fine. Maybe I'll be the one he falls in love with.”

If only she knew how unlikely that was.

“Anyone that hot can't be all bad.”

“Yes. They can.”

Zanthiel sauntered toward us and Abby gave him a mischievous grin.

“Then we'll have fun finding out just how bad.” She winked.

I sighed. Impossible. He totally wasn't helping matters looking all teen-mag-heartthrob in his black jeans and smoke-grey pullover that accentuated his eyes and lean physique.

Zanthiel kissed Abby fully on both cheeks, before turning to greet me.

“Hello, Lorelei.”

“Hi,” I said, and quickly diverted my gaze from the affectionate way he caressed her arm. I tried to picture Zanthiel, or any Shadow faerie, in love. It really didn't seem like an emotion he frequented. But then my father had loved my mother according to her, so maybe it was possible.

Then I noticed the purplish bruise on his prominent cheek bone. It was faded but even with his quick healing I could tell it was fresh.

“What happened?” I pointed.

“Nothing of any importance. I had a small disagreement.”

I frowned, suspicious. “With who?” I asked slowly.

“Oh yeah. I heard about that,” Abby interjected. “You and Adrius had it out? Weird, I didn't think you guys knew each other.” She looked back at me.

Panicked, I bit down on my lip at a loss for what to say. How had people found out about their fight?

“We didn't. But we do now.” Zanthiel kept an even tone. He stroked her cheek and she immediately lost her train of thought. His hooded silver gaze drifted to me as his hand slipped from her face back to her arm.

“I am heading home, ladies,” he said, giving me a secret glance. “I will see you tomorrow, Abagail.”

She was actually speechless for a rare moment, and we watched him head for the forest. She looked at me questioningly. “Class hasn't started yet.”

“Bad boys cut class, right?” I shrugged.

She stared after him, until I shook her arm. “So, you like him. I get it.” I wasn't sure if I should ask more about the fight or let it stay forgotten. She couldn't have heard much if she hadn't bothered to mention it. But if it was public, we might need damage control. It was dangerous enough for my human friends without knowing secrets that could put them in more danger.

“Ok, I'll stop talking about him.” She paused for all of three seconds. “Do you think he likes me? Because he gave me the eye all day yesterday.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Ok, I'm not getting any feedback here. Hellooo?” She snapped her fingers and pouted.

“I'm sorry, Abby. Of course he likes you. Look at you. He'd be crazy not to. And the fact that you like him… well he should consider himself lucky.” I forced a smiled.

****

Music class had been weirdly awkward lately, especially when we were in the classroom and not onstage rehearsing. I'd lost count of how many people were freezing me out over being given the lead in Phantom of the Opera. What I wasn't expecting was for Adrius to be one of them. I glanced over at him sitting stoically across from me, eyes glued to the front of the class. The black shirt he was wearing highlighted his impeccable form, hinting at taught muscles, all lean and strong. No one had any clue how strong.

But something was wrong. Really wrong. Usually I could tell what it was or where it was coming from. Or at least if I was supposed to do something about it. But this was different. There was just this overwhelming sense of foreboding, and a knowing that things were about to get messy. I'd heard rumors of some kind of altercation that happened the night before, involving Adrius and Zanthiel, but I was waiting for one of them to fill me in.

“Lorelei. Class is over.” His sharp tone interrupted my thoughts and threw me off guard. That was happening to me a lot lately. Getting lost in my thoughts, and not realizing huge amounts of time had passed by. I was as mystified by it as I was by his mood.

“Something wrong?” I asked mildly, taking in his deep scowl from the corner of my eyes.

“It's nothing.” It was more of a grumble than a reply.

I looked up into his stormy olive eyes and he looked away. Clearly this was not nothing… but I knew him well enough to know that I wouldn't be getting any answers by pushing harder. With a lingering stare I shrugged and went back to writing down the assignment I'd missed.

Two seconds later a book slammed shut and chair legs screeched across the floor as Adrius rose abruptly and left the room.

I sighed. What was going on with everyone? I hadn't been able to get a straight answer from anybody who was there that night. I'm sure that was partly because Zanthiel had used his mind control thing to make them all forget the details. All I got were fuzzy recounts of what took place. An argument. My name thrown in. A lot. And now this. Yeah, enough. My patience had run out. I wanted answers and I was getting them now. I closed my book and pushed back my chair, prepared to find Adrius and demand he talk to me. I didn't have to go far. Turning around he was there, like a wall blocking my passage.

I squinted up at him. “So this ‘nothing' that you claim is going on…. Care to elaborate?” I could feel the anger seeping from my muscles as I looked into his face and watched the parade of emotions flit across his eyes. “You know I'm not letting it go, so you might as well just spill.” I folded my arms, without taking my eyes off his. Hopefully he knew I meant business.

A touch of a smirk played at the corner of his lips before he replied. “And to think I used to call you stubborn.” There was another pause as he sifted through words, trying to select the right ones. “I ran into Zanthiel last night.”

I nodded. That much I'd already heard. “What happened?”

“We had a disagreement, you could say.”

I gave another nod, slowly, bracing for what was coming. “Just spit it out already,” I said, the painfully slow way he was dragging this out was killing me. “What were you fighting over this time?”

“It was Venus.”

Something lurched inside me, and I bit down on the inside of my cheek. I tried to look calm and unbothered, but it was no use. Just the sound of her name sent me into a state of panic. She was a destructive force in my world and wouldn't stop until there was nothing left. It was bad enough both Adrius and Zanthiel had resigned to an eternal tug-of-war with my soul. But with Venus thrown into the mix, her crimson hooks firmly embedded in both of them… well, let's just say I'm watching my back. And theirs.

“It's fine now. We're good.”

“You're good,” I repeated with disbelief.

“You have nothing to worry about, Lorelei,” he said and forced a small smile.

He was a poor liar, but I tried to smile anyway.

 

 

Adrius sat next to me on the couch, his arm draped across the back. We had a couple of unsupervised hours after school before Mom returned from her rehearsals, and I made sure we took advantage of every opportunity to be together alone.

My cell rang but I ignored it. “Probably just Abby or Brianne,” I said.

“More scheming?” Adrius asked, still amused by their suspicious behavior at school.

“Sorry, I'm not at liberty to say.”

“I see. Then maybe I better head out and let you have at it.” He laughed.

I twirled a lock of hair around my finger. “Completely unnecessary,” I told him. “We still have another ten minutes. Plenty of time for you to spill what went down with you and Zanthiel.”

Adrius smiled. “Sorry. Not at liberty to say.” He leaned in to kiss me, but then leaned right past, and his hand reached for something behind me. He drew back and examined the stone cradled in his hand.

Frowning, I looked at it. I'd forgotten it was there, but I remembered where it had come from.

His stony eyes drifted up to mine. “This is Faerie ice,” he spoke in a somber tone. “Zanthiel's been here.”

It was a statement, not a question. Apparently he knew where it had come from as well.

My gaze pulled away from the stone, back to his. “Yes, he was.”

I wanted Adrius to know everything, and my stomach still clenched a little where Zanthiel was concerned. But in the spirit of full disclosure I went with a direct answer.

“He gave it to me when I returned from Mythlandria. I was sick, and— he made me soup.” It wasn't a memory I enjoyed thinking about. When his expression sharpened, I felt a flicker of irritation. “You remember, just after you tossed me out of your world and left me to wander in the cold, wet forest all night long?” I added.

It came out harsher than I meant and Adrius withdrew as though I'd slapped him. His face softened and flooded with remorse.

“You were there all night?” he whispered. Pain lingered in his gaze.

“Most of it.” I shrugged. “Long enough to catch a cold.”

He stared at his hands.

“It was my own fault— at least partially. I knew I was home, I was just— trying to find my way back to you.”

“And Zanthiel took care of you.”

I nodded. The pale green quartz-like chunk of Faerie ice was meant to be a souvenir of sorts, but I'd left it on the table and forgotten about it, not wanting any reminders of what I'd lost.

Adrius swallowed and remained silent for a time. “Lorelei, I love you. And with that love comes all of my trust. But—” he paused and stared into the corner of the room, jaw muscles flinching rapidly.

“But what?” I urged, touching his face and losing myself for a moment in the depth of his eyes. “What is it?”

“I should think it'd be obvious, especially to you.”

I flinched.

His face twisted with regret over the sharp bite of his words, but we were both too preoccupied to address it.

I nodded. “You think I'm in love with Zanthiel, is that it? Because we shared... a kiss. Not even a romantic kiss. A kiss I had to accept to save your kingdom from Oct
ã
hvia.” A kiss that was all pain and no pleasure.

“I'm not blind, Lorelei. Your connection to him grows. I see it every time I look at you.” The anger in his voice had been replaced by hurt. “I don't care about what happened before. That's past. I care about what's going to happen next.”

“Nothing is going to happen. Not with him.”

“Are you sure that is what you want? I've told you before, promises made in times of heightened emotions are sometimes hard to be kept.”

“I want you. Forever. Why are you suddenly so unsure of that?”

He frowned and pulled his hand through his hair. "I'm not. I apologize. It's just sometimes I forget that a bond does not dictate your heart."

"No more than yours does toward Venus," I said quietly. His hand stilled. "If that should ever change, I want you to promise me you will tell me."

"Of course, but I can promise you with just as much certainty it won't change. I'm in control of my future and my feelings. And I'm very clear about what's real and what's an illusion."

"Good."

The word implied the matter was settled, but it was clear in his eyes that it wasn't.

I kissed him, hoping my feelings were as clear to him as they were to me. I pulled back, dizzy from the intense electricity between us. His eyes had changed and I knew we really were good.

Message received.

There was so much history between them, yet the animosity they had for one another showed no signs of the close friendship they'd once shared.

“What happened between you too?” I didn't know what to expect. The question had been met with pure hostility when I brought it up with Zanthiel. But Adrius and I were different. He wasn't as afraid to share the parts of himself he used to keep hidden away.

With a heavy sigh he rose and walked to the window. “It was so long ago now…”

“That much I already know.” I smiled to ease the heaviness, but he didn't return it.

“Her name was Isobel. She was good and kind and sweet.“ He looked over his shoulder at me, pushing the hair from his forehead. “A lot like you.”

I bristled. Who could blame me? No one wants to be compared to any girl from her boyfriend's past, even if that past was decades ago. Could be worse. He could have been comparing me to Venus. I stifled the pangs of jealousy and braced myself for answers. “So what happened to her?”

“She died.” He turned slowly, staring into my eyes with an intensity that unnerved me. “The same day Venus was created.”

Bile rose in my throat and I couldn't breathe or swallow or blink. I think I gasped, but I'm not sure how.

“What do you mean...
created
?”

Adrius stiffened, his entire body becoming deathly still. In silence he waited for his words to sift through my levels of understanding. Even as the questions were forming on my tongue, realization dawned. I already knew the sickening answer. “Isobel…” I could barely get the words out. If it hadn't been painfully quiet in the house he never would have heard me. “She's… Venus?”

He nodded slowly, never taking his eyes from mine. “Used to be. They are no more the same person now than… you and Venus.”

“No way.” I washed both hands over my face as I slumped back onto the couch. Frozen. Unable to process. Was this what shock felt like? “H-how? How is that even possible?” I whispered.

“Zanthiel was devastated by what happened. He couldn't live without her. He used necromancy, black magic to bring her back to life. But dark magic always comes with a price. And the being he brought back was not Isobel. She bore no resemblance to her whatsoever. Her polar opposite, in fact.”

None of this was digesting. I kept turning his words over and over in my mind, and they made less and less sense each time. Adrius and Zanthiel, in love with the same girl? And that girl was Venus. I didn't want to hear any more, I was still reeling from what I'd already heard, but I couldn't keep from asking one more question.

“How did she die?”

He was scanning my face, trying to read what was going on in my head. But my thoughts were on lockdown. I couldn't let him in if I tried. And letting him in was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

“This doesn't change anything. It was a long time ago. And Zanthiel has paid the price for his decision,” he spoke with such heaviness it made my chest hurt. “We all are.”

“Tell me. I need to know.”

“There was— an accident during a battle.”

He said it carefully. Too carefully. Something about it gave me chills.

“She didn't survive.”

“And who lost her… you or Zanthiel?” I asked, unable to bear hearing the answer.

“Lorelei.” He crossed the room to sit next to me. Then cupped my face in his hands. “None of that matters. All that matters is that I'm not going to lose you. Not to Zanthiel, or my father, or Venus.”

He pressed his lips to the top of my head. When I stiffened, his hands slipped away from my cheeks, leaving them cold and exposed.

“We'll find a way to undo the magic sealing the veil. And if I cannot get rid of Venus, I will find a way to kill her myself.”

“You can't kill her. It would be suicide,” I said quietly.

He sighed. “She won't win. And this time her death won't be accidental. We don't need to talk about this anymore right now,” he said.

The fierce, quiet determination I'd come to know so well had returned to his voice. But talking about it was exactly what I needed to do. Questions lined up one after another, demanding to be answered.

My eyes narrowed. “What caused the accident? Whose fault was it?” There were always frustrating holes in every story.

Adrius moved closer to me and my hand stretched out to hold him back. It didn't work. “You know it will always be you, Lorelei. Right?”

I didn't respond. I knew what he was trying to do. “That's not an answer. And I can't believe you never told me this before.”

“There was never any reason to. It's in the past. Over.”

“It's not that over considering she's here now, trying to get you back,” I bristled.

He frowned, debating whether to say any more. “There is one more thing you should know,” he said. “Zanthiel did not bring Venus back on his own. He had help. Very powerful help.”

“From who?”

An engine rumbled in the driveway and then cut off. My mother was home. As per usual, her timing was perfect and she'd be less than impressed to find Adrius still here so late.

“I should go.” He didn't seem the least bit bothered by her timing. His lips brushed mine and as their warmth flooded me, all further questions faded to the background, leaving me fully immersed in this moment.

When he pulled away he gave me a soft smile and I sighed. He'd won for now. He didn't want me to ask anything else and he'd made sure I couldn't. His kisses still had that dizzying brain freeze effect on me. But it was temporary, and this conversation was far from finished.

Adrius placed the stone in a drawer, shut it and then took my hand. The front door opened and Mom stepped in. She frowned.

“Nice to see you again, Ms. Alundra. I was just on my way home,” Adrius said. Despite how curt she was to him, he was always courteous to her.

She nodded, even managed a brief smile, probably at the fact that he was leaving, and made her way toward the kitchen.

I gave him an exasperated smile as I followed him to the door. “You know, just because you're playing unfairly doesn't mean we're done here.”

He grinned. “I know. When it comes to questions you're never done. I'll be close by.”

My phone buzzed again, this time with a text. I picked it up and frowned. “It's from Venus.” I held it up to show Adrius. “She wants us to meet her in the park tomorrow night.”

“Why?”

“Apparently there
is
something else she wants.”

He shook his head. “Let's talk about it later. Ignore it for now.” With a quick kiss, he left.

I shut the door behind him.
Just ignore it.
‘
Cause that would go over well.

“Lorelei, make sure you lock up. I'm heading up to bed,” Mom called out.

I slumped against the door. Funny how empty a house can suddenly feel, even though I wasn't alone. It was good though. I wasn't up to facing normal conversations with my mother to discuss the normal events of our day.

I stared at the text. Adrius said Venus was good once. I couldn't picture it and didn't want to. That she used to be a different version of herself explained how someone as amazing as Adrius could have fallen for someone like her. As for Zanthiel—well that was another question. He'd loved her too. Enough to summon dark necromancer magic to bring her back from death. I hadn't found out everything, but there was one thing I knew. My guardian faerie was partly responsible for the murderous witch trying to kill me and everyone I loved.

That night, I knew Zanthiel would come, even before I summoned him. The connection between us would see to that. When I walked into my room, he was there by the window, staring out into the night. Despite expecting him, seeing him startled me.

I tossed a book at him and he caught it midair without looking up.

“Something on your mind?” He drawled. He was still focused on whatever had his attention out the window.

“Darn right I've got something on my mind. I'm going to let you have the benefit of the doubt and give you exactly sixty seconds to explain what this is all about before I completely lose it on you.”

Zanthiel turned his head and focused his hooded silver gaze on me. “I think you might be asking the wrong person.”

“I'm asking you. It's true faeries can't lie, right?”

“Yes.” He eyed me with his suspicious chrome gaze.

“Then I want the truth. Tell me what happened between you and Adrius and Venus. Or should I say Isobel?” I watched closely, waiting for his reaction, unsure of what it would be. Of course there wasn't one. And there was no reply. I folded my arms and scowled. “I think the truth is the least you owe me. Considering it's your fault Venus is alive and here to end my life.”

My words hit a nerve, because he came the closest I've ever seen him come to flinching.

I sighed. “I have to know, Zanthiel, why were you and Adrius ready to kill one another over her?”

He squinted his silver eyes and leaned back. “Have you considered the possibility that perhaps you cannot handle the truth? Most humans can't.”

“I'm not really human, remember?”

“I remember.”

I dropped onto my bed and laid back, staring at the ceiling. There was more to this story, and I'd never be able to sleep until I'd heard it. All of it.