Bittersweet Ecstasy (49 page)

It was strange how the Life-circles and bloodlines of Running Wolf, father of Gray Eagle; Windrider, best friend to Bright Arrow; Black Cloud, father of the real Shalee who had married Powchutu who was the half brother to Gray Eagle and friend to Alisha who was wife to Gray Eagle and the alleged Shalee; and Brave Bear, adopted son of Black Cloud and father of Singing Wind and Silver Hawk, had crossed or mingled many times in the past and present.

Singing Wind… Her name warmed his very soul as it drifted across his mind. Thunder Spirit had agreed to leave early to allow him another meeting with her, if they could slip away safely at dawn. This had to be their last encounter before their joining, for it was dangerous to his rank and to her life to continue with them. If others learned he had been slipping around with his brother’s promised mate, they would doubt his words and motives. Too, his love had to remain in camp where she would be safe from the whites once they were riled.

His assignment included returning to the Oglala camp to summon and to prepare his band of warriors to intercept the soldiers from Fort James, which was eastward of Fort Dakota and farthest away. He had related his vision messages and his ideas to Big Elk, who had chosen which band would attack which group of bluecoats. He knew Big Elk was not sending him far away so that Bright Arrow could quickly complete his task and earn more
coups
to help him obtain more Oglala votes for chief. Big Elk had said to him, “As you return, you will pass the area which your brother must defend. Make certain all goes well with his band. This victory is vital to us.” Sun Cloud had grasped the
underlying meaning of the war chiefs words, just as he realized who would receive Big Elk’s next vote for chief, if he lived long enough to cast it, which Sun Cloud sadly doubted. That secret worried him, for Big Elk was to ride with Bright Arrow’s band…

Bright Arrow lay on his sleeping mat near his friend Windrider. He was glad Silver Hawk had been too busy to approach him to talk. He was angry with Silver Hawk for trying to shame his brother before the war council and to cast doubts upon Sun Cloud’s powerful vision. Twinges of alarm pulled at Bright Arrow. He had been watching Silver Hawk closely, furtively. He was concerned over what certain looks and words of the Blackfeet chief had revealed. He did not want to think he had been duped, but…

Bright Arrow was haunted by memories of his father’s visions and by his past vow to accept Sun Cloud as chief. He had witnessed his brother’s courage, daring, wisdom, control, and cunning. Gray Eagle had trained Sun Cloud to take his place, and Sun Cloud was both worthy and prepared, despite his younger age of twenty-three. Sun Cloud had never failed to obey their father or the Great Spirit; nor had Sun Cloud failed or weakened in his duty and loyalty to their people, as he had done long ago in order to possess a white “foe” as his wife. His white mother and his white wife had weakened Gray Eagle’s bloodline in him. Sun Cloud would marry an Indian girl, and his bloodline would remain strong. He had no sons, but his brother might have a son. Perhaps it was true that the Lifecircles, powers, and bloodlines of Running Wolf and Gray Eagle must pass through Sun Cloud. He wondered, was it such a terrible thing to be only a famed Oglala warrior? Being chief was a heavy responsibility. Was he as worthy and prepared as Sun Cloud?

Bright Arrow was plagued by the memory of how Windrider, from his love and concern, had once created a false vision for him; so he knew such a thing was possible. Tonight, he had grasped Silver Hawk’s hatred and envy of Sun Cloud. He knew there was something to Sun Cloud’s suspicions about a traitor, just as the deaths of Medicine Bear and his sons were very strange. His entire life kept wandering before his mind’s eye, and doubts were nagging at him constantly.

White Arrow placed his wrinkled hand on Bright Arrow’s brow and stroked it as if he were a small boy who needed comforting. The older man smiled and advised, “The truth fights fiercely within you, my son. Accept it and be troubled no more. It is time to cast aside foolish dreams and to do what must be done.”

Bright Arrow felt as if he had been given muchneeded permission to relent to his conscience. He returned the smile and nodded. “You are right, my second father, but it is hard. My friends and people trusted me. I will lose all face at this second defeat.”

In a voice of wisdom and gentleness, White Arrow refuted, “No, my son, it was meant to be this way. There is evil to battle, and Sun Cloud cannot do it as chief. You must be proud, for you are Grandfather’s weapon. Say nothing until the time is right.”

“How will I know when the time is right?” Bright Arrow asked, ready to end this heart-rending matter at once.

“When all things in Sun Cloud’s vision come to pass, it will be the right time. You will know it, for there are secret messages which he has told only you. Be at peace, my son; all he told you is true.”

Bright Arrow’s heart raced as he echoed, “All, my second father?”

White Arrow smiled and, although unaware of the secrets of Sun Cloud’s vision, but knowing it to be true
and powerful, replied, “All.”

Bright Arrow watched his father’s lifelong friend and companion return to his sleeping mat. His mind called up Rebecca’s image and the pain of her loss knifed him brutally. No, he could not allow himself such a foolish dream. Sun Cloud was wrong; White Arrow was wrong; Rebecca had to be dead or lost permanently to him by now.

Rebecca stood at the edge of their camp along the Missouri River. She was extremely restless that night; she could not shake the intimidating feeling that something horrible was going to happen soon. In a few more days, she would be home again, after a year’s absence. She wondered what had taken place during that long and difficult period, and what was taking place in her love’s lands this year. The news she had received from that area was old, and situations changed rapidly, especially during the spring and summer.

Rebecca’s troubled mind asked why she was trembling so violently and why this aura of evil and peril seemed to permeate her entire body and even the air which surrounded her? Was she in danger or facing defeat? Was Bright Arrow in danger? Were her beloved girls in danger? She had lost one daughter at age four and one unborn child, and she could bear to lose no more children. She yearned to see Tashina and Little Feet; she had missed them terribly and worried about them each day. She was eager to see Shalee and Gray Eagle, for their days were numbered. She had missed her friends White Arrow, Windrider, and Bonnie. No, she corrected herself, Sky Eyes.

But most of all, she longed and pined for Bright Arrow. She closed her eyes and called his image to mind. He was so handsome and virile. They had been
happy for years, ever since the Oglalas had allowed them to return to their camp and to join under their laws. Bright Arrow had been reborn; no, he had become more than he had been when she had met him. Her heart quivered with suspense and her body ached with need. She remembered how it felt to be locked in his arms, how it felt to be kissed and caressed by him, how it felt to feverishly share the fires of passion, and how it felt to rest serenely near him afterward. He was such a skilled and generous lover, and her flesh burned to have him cool her flames of desire.

Special times and places and ways they had made love drifted through her susceptible and dreamy mind. Her imagination was so vivid and her desires so immense that she could almost see him, taste him, feel him, smell him, and hear his voice. Leisurely nights of lovemaking and urgent bouts of mating in the daytime filtered through her thoughts.

The peaks of her breasts strained against her dress and they thrilled to his light touch as his fingertips circled and caressed them. When he began to nibble at her earlobe, she sighed in rising need. But when he found her aching and pleading peak below and massaged it, she moaned and reached for him, to urgently fuse their mouths. Despite her passions and hungers, she knew something was wrong; his face was rough with stubble, and Bright Arrow had none.

Rebecca pushed against the man who was nearly mindless with lust and who had taken advantage of her dreamy state. She did not want to scream or to cause an embarrassing scene for either of them, but she would if he did not release her. “Stop it, Jeremy,” she ordered.

His voice was hoarse and muffled as he vowed, “I love you, Becca. I need you. You’ve been driving me crazy for over a year. If I’m gonna lose you, at least let me have you once. Please, you owe me that much since
you won’t love me or marry me. Lordy, woman, you can’t convince me you don’t want this too. Your body’s like a poker that’s been left in the fire too long. You were enjoying it, and I can make it feel even better. You want to burn up from denial?”

“No, Jeremy, this is wrong. I’m married to another man, and I love him,” she reasoned frantically, for his desire was making him strong and rough, and he had always been gentle and understanding.

Waves of sandy hair fell over his forehead and teased the bottom of his collar. His blue eyes exposed such deep and warring emotions. “I love you and need you, Becca. I’m begging you,” he entreated. “Your husband won’t ever know. Think what you’re denying us. I can make you happy, love, if you give me the chance.”

He was an appealing man in looks and virility, but he was not the one who had enflamed her body; dreams of Bright Arrow had. To slake her passions with another was wrong. She apologized softly. “I’m sorry if I aroused you, Jeremy. I honestly did not mean to. I was nearly asleep on my feet. I must be faithful to my husband.”

“I doubt he’s been faithful to you,” he scoffed in pain and need.

“Perhaps, but he probably thinks I’m dead,” she refuted.

“Does that change anything? How are you gonna feel when you get home and find another woman sleeping in your bed with your man?”

“If that problem arises, I’ll deal with it then,” she retorted. Jeremy was tall and husky, but she realized he would not force himself on her. She could empathize with him, for they had been together over a year and, at most times, that year had been a good one, especially under the circumstances. She reasoned, “Would you feel the same if the husband I was forced to leave
behind was you? You know how I feel about you, Jeremy. Why do you make this harder on us?”

Jeremy realized she was not going to yield to him or relent to her own desires. His had cooled slightly during their debate. He asked, “Will you make me one promise?” He did not wait for her response before continuing, “Will you marry me and return home with me if you can’t locate him, or if his life’s changed, or if “ he don’t want you back?”

Rebecca did not want to consider any of those possibilities, but she had to, in case one of them was true. “If you promise to stop tempting me until I can learn the truth, yes, Jeremy; I will marry you.” Why not? she asked herself. If her past was lost forever, she had to go somewhere and live somehow. She knew the fates of women who lost husbands and were left alone in this wilderness, and she could not endure such a despicable life. Besides, she was very fond of Jeremy; he was a good man, and he truly loved her.

Jeremy beamed with happiness and relief, for he could not imagine any man remaining alone after having and losing a woman like this. Too, this territory was dangerous and demanding on a trapper. If Clay Rivera was smart and lonely, he had made his fortune and left! One thing that gave him hope was the fact none of the other trappers, company or private, had heard of his rival. There was only one more trading post, then Fort Dakota. If nobody knew him or had seen him during this past year, Rebecca would be his. Six more days, and this tormenting wait would be over, then St. Louis and marriage…

The Oglala camp was busy the next day with warrior selections and preparations for the departure of the two war parties, headed by Sun Cloud and Bright
Arrow. Plans were made for the hunters and guards for their camp. Families spoke words which could be their last ones. An aura of apprehension and excitement filled the air.

Little Feet hated to release the man in her arms, for she had waited years to have him. Her hazel eyes attempted to memorize each line and feature on his face, as if she did not already know them by heart. Her arms tightened around his waist and she rested her auburn head against his drumming heart. She could tell how much he hated to leave her side too, for his embrace was almost painful and he could not speak. “I love you, Thunder Spirit; I have always loved you, and I will always love you, only you,” she murmured, then spread kisses over his chest and neck, then sealed her mouth to his.

The warrior’s arms crushed her against his hard body and his mouth urgently feasted on hers. When the kissing bout ended, his left hand buried itself in her hair and pressed her head snugly near his pounding heart. He was glad that he and Sun Cloud had not been able to sneak from the war camp this morning, for it would have denied him these precious hours with his love. Pretty Woman, his father’s second wife, had kept Little Feet’s two sons so they could be alone. They had made love as if it were the only chance they would be given in an entire life span; yet he was consumed by desire for her again, though there was no time left to enjoy it or appease it. It would be days before he returned home, and this parting was difficult.

“My father and others will protect you and care for your needs until I return. Do not let fear live in your heart; I will be safe. No man would dare take me from my love, not even Grandfather,” he teased. “Soon, we will have peace in our lands once more; Grandfather has revealed this to Sun Cloud. I love you and I will
miss you.”

“Take no risks, my love, even if you are a Sacred Bow carrier.”

“I will be careful, for I have sons to teach and train, and a wife to enjoy.” He kissed her and smiled, then went to join Sun Cloud.

Bright Arrow and Sun Cloud looked at each other, then embraced. “Guard your life, my brother, for our people need you.”

Sun Cloud smiled and replied, “As they need you, my brother and my friend. Watch all directions and be safe. My love goes with you.”

Sun Cloud’s band rode eastward and Bright Arrow’s rode southward. As they traveled, each pushed distracting thoughts aside and planned his strategy. Victory or defeat was now in the Great Spirit’s hands.