Bittersweet Hate
Authors: J. L. Beck
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Genre Fiction, #Coming of Age, #Romance, #Contemporary, #New Adult & College, #Two Hours or More (65-100 Pages)
Bittersweet Hate
A Bittersweet Novella Book Three
By: J.L. Beck
Copyright 2014 by Josi Beck
Cover design by Sprinkles on Top Studio LLC
Cover photo by Shutterstock
All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means- except in the case of brief quotations embodied in articles or reviews- without written permission from its publisher.
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious.
Any similarities to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright 2014 by Josi Beck
All rights reserved.
Dedication
To my beta readers, and street team: I have no idea what I would do without you guys. Thanks for hating Corey and kind of believing in him at the same time. Love you all.
Table of Contents
Two weeks ago
My face
hit the floor hard as I fell against it. Tears filled my eyes as Brody grabbed me by my hair hauling me off the floor he had just thrown me on. His eyes were black; there was absolutely no soul in someone who could do this. I wondered to myself how I got here. How I went from texting someone, and getting to know them or at least thinking I did to dating them and allowing them to do this to me.
“You wonder why that Corey guy never wanted you… You actually had to wonder why he never wanted you. As if the way you dress, and your attitude isn’t enough of a reason for you to get it.” His voice is dark, cut off; he lets out a shallow laugh as he pulls me over to the couch.
“Let go of me.” I yell, pulling out of his hold. Hair is torn from my head as I push using all the strength I can into getting away from him. My cheek is starting to swell from the hit. I cup it knowing if I don’t get away from him now I’ll be screwed.
He smiles at me, it’s sickening and it makes me want to vomit all over the floor. Watching him, I judge the distance between him and the front door. If only I can make it through the door I can find someone. Anyone.
I make a run for it, praying I can do it. I suck in a breath as my fingertips graze the door handle. You can do it Mimi; you can do it. My mantra is short lived as Brody’s hands dig into my shoulders pushing me hard into the door.
“Let go of me, or I’ll fucking kill you.” I scream, hoping to blow one of his ear drums, anything to cause him the slightest bit of pain. I need something to help me distract him so I can get out of here. So I can go somewhere safe.
The air is pushed from my chest, as all of his body weight sinks into me. His hand slides up the seam of my pants, his fingers biting into my thigh.
“Open those legs for me Mimi. Do it.” He whispers in my ear. My stomach churns, as I try and force my legs closed. His other hand moves from my hair to the nape of my neck. I know if I’m going to try and escape it’s going to be now. I turn around fast, my thoughts are a jumbled mess, and shock shows in his eyes as I bite down hard. I take my knee and bring it up into his crotch. My strength is coming back to me in a rush of adrenaline as I try to make my escape. He falls to the ground with a hard thud, holding himself.
Turning, I open the front door and come to a standstill once I make it into the hall. There isn’t anyone to run to. I start panicking, my mind running through places I could possible go. Suddenly my mind realizes Corey lives in the same building. Run with all my might down the stairs to his apartment, trying to remember his door number. My heart is beating out of my chest as I hear foot steps behind me. Looking over my shoulder I can see Brody, following me. I want to scream out just as my fist meets Corey’s door. I pound and pound begging and praying that he opens the door.
Brody comes to a stop behind me. I can feel his sick eyes, lingering over my body. My breathing is shallow and I’m afraid I may faint. I feel defeated. Like when you let the air out of a balloon. I turn and take in his slimy smile. He looks at me as if I’m nothing. I feel the hope seeping out of me. I’m a goner.
The world starts to go black around me. I find myself kneeling on the ground, praying for the worst to be done. My body is worn out from running and the beating I’ve taken. I can feel the blood seeping from a wound on my face or head. But I’m numb, so numb. Suddenly, the door opens. Voices surround me, Corey’s and then Brody’s. Yelling ensues, and then it’s just silence. Or at least in my mind it is. Blissful silence. Corey’s face comes into my line of vision, his hands hesitantly holding me into place. As if he can mend the broken pieces of me back together. Blood is smeared on them, and there’s a vicious look in his eyes.
“Call the police Mimi.” He says, it sounds faint as if he’s a million miles away from me. Or maybe it’s me that’s a million miles away from him. I try and move, but can’t. I just can’t.
The creaking of my door signals that it’s time to wake up. Why he feels the need to come in and check on me throughout the night is just… way fucking beyond me. I think my mom stopped doing that
many years ago.
“You
don’t have to be here Corey, I’m fine. I’m not going to commit suicide, go on a drinking binge, or do drugs.” Since the incident with Brody everyone’s been different. It’s as if they think I’m a piece of fine china that could break at any moment in time. Watching their words around me, speaking in hushed voices and whispers. It makes me want to scream.
“Actually I do have to be here. I promised Jenna and Rex that I would take care of you and there just is
n’t any way to get me to go back on my word.” Of course, being a grown woman I can’t take care of myself. Or so it seems that way.
“Actually, they didn’t ask you to do anything. You wanted to, which means you’re free to go at your own will.” I pull the covers over my head, attempting to bury myself deep into the mattress. You
ever have one of those pimples; the kind that no matter how hard you scrub won’t go away? Yeah, well Corey is that pimple and most days I hate him. I peek up at him from under the blankets.
“Wow.” He says his jaw ticking... I live for the moments when I piss him off. Those moments when he’s teetering right on the edge of anger, and I push him off.
“What it’s true. No one asked you to be here. Yeah, I’m aware I don’t have a very good track record with men… But I can fucking take care of myself.” I take it back, is it possible to suffocate yourself?
Suddenly, the covers are pulled from my tight grip. I roll over glaring. Hate rushing off of me in sheets of ice. This is why Corey shouldn’t be living here. We don’t get the fuck along
at all. We don’t like each other. Wait, I take that back; we absolutely despise each other.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I growl. Why did Jenna have to move in with
Rex, leaving me with this thing, the bully, the asshole?
Shock crosses his face. “What the fuck is wrong with me? Me? Honestly, you should be the one on your knees in front of me right now. I saved your fucking life. I went to jail for you. The better question is what the fuck is wrong with you?” His heated glare sinks into me, causing goose bumps to erupt across my skin.
I hate that he has this effect on me, on my body.
“
Those stupid heated glares of yours don’t scare me Corey. They might make other people back off, but I thrive off of your anger. As for me getting on my knees, keep dreaming fucker.” Like I said, hate. That’s about all we’re good at. Two hot tempered people. His eyes grow dark as he squats down onto his heels, his eyes finding mine demanding attention. I meet his glare, not backing down.
“You know
what’s stupid, Mimi? It’s you not being scared. I could hurt you, I have hurt you. I don’t have the best track record, so if I were you I would be scared.” His words send a shudder down my spine. He has hurt me, in more than one way. But like they say, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger.
I bend over,
and bring my face down to his so we are closer. His eyes grow big, and I smile. I mean really smile. “Fuck. Off.” I whisper, our breaths mingle together as his gaze slides down my face and onto my lips. I know what he’s thinking, because his tongue darts out to moisten his bottom lip. He wants me, always has, always will.
“I’m not here to babysit you. I’m here to make sure you don’t do anything fucking stupid.
That and I currently don’t have a place to live. Therefore I’m here. So in other words you’re going to need to put your bitchy attitude away, because guess what? It doesn’t faze me.” His eyes show no emotion as he gets up, walks over to the door, and slams it closed. The intensity of the door closing causes my book shelves to shake on the wall. The fucker almost knocked my Kindle off the shelf.
I slide out of the bed hesitatingly. Living with him is hard. This
kind of interaction happens almost daily. I push him past his limits; he walks in the other room and slams a door or two.
I look at my face in the
mirror; the dark bruising that marred it two weeks prior has now faded to a dull yellowish color. I throw my hair up into a tight bun no longer wanting to look at the damage Brody caused me. Just saying his name makes me want to vomit all over the floor.
Reaching into my drawer, I
grab a pair of shorts and a tank top. My gaze lands back on my reflection. Out of nowhere a deep guilt hits me like a ton of bricks. The pain I could have experienced if it weren’t for Corey. I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want him to know that, that night I needed him. I’m not used to being weak. I’m not use to needing someone. But sometimes I need Corey, and I think he needs me too.
I head into the bathroom peeking over my sho
ulder to make sure I’m not being watched. You would think I committed murder the way Corey watches me.
I send
Jenna a quick text reminding her of our bowling and pizza date a couple of days from now; that’s if I can get her and Rex to leave his bed for more than five seconds. Don’t get me wrong I’m over the moon happy for Jenna, but she seriously needs to come up for air sometime.
I turn on the water f
or the shower testing it with my foot before getting in. Once in I let the hot water beat on my chest, face and neck. It soothes the bruising and aches I have in my bones. I run my fingers through my hair, finding the small bald spot I have because of Brody. Hate deeper than anything I could ever feel for Corey surges through me. Taking deep breaths to try to steady myself, I grab my loofa off the bottom of the tub.
Just as my hands land on it, it occurs to me that I always hang it up after every use.
What the hell? I pick it up, curiously looking at it. My nose scrunches up as a whiff of something that clearly isn’t my body soap catches in my nose.
A
creamy white substance is lathered into the loofa. It looks similar to soap, but I’m not stupid so I bring it to my nose and smell it more closely. What. The. Fuck. Come? Really? I’m going to fucking kill him. No scratch that, I’m going to beat him into fucking oblivion and then kill him.
I throw the disgraced loofa to the floor, and put soap into my hands scrub
bing my body harder than usual. Just touching that thing makes me feel like I need to scrub every pore on my body. Maybe even douse the tub in bleach. As I’m rinsing the suds off, and putting soap into my hair, it dawns on me. I thought we were done with these games months ago, but I guess… If he wants to play dirty I can too. I finish cleaning myself, and get out of the shower wrapping a towel around my body. My hair is still soaked, and pieces stick to my neck and forehead.
I open the bathroom door, not caring that I’m in a towel. It’s not like he hasn’t seen what I have. I’m a girl, and he’s fucked more girls then I can count.
“What the fuck Corey?” I growl out, walking around the corner. I find him on the couch, watching a DVR’d episode of The Vampire Diaries. My mouth parts slightly, and then I snap it closed. A shocked look crosses his face as he scrambles for the remote to turn the TV off.
“Uh… Uh… What?” He asks, his cheeks growing dark red in color as he stumbles over his words. He looks like a boy who was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
I smile smugly, “What the fuck is on my loofa? Can’t you jack off in your bed, and preferably not on my shit?”
He leans back onto the couch, the
uneasiness easing out of him. My smug smile falls from my face the moment I take notice of his bright smile.
“Oh sorry
, but I come where I want to come.” His teeth are white, and I feel like chipping one. Someone like him shouldn’t get to look so perfect.
I grit my teeth at him, “No you don’t
’come’ where you want to come, because if you do that again. I will cut your dick off, and then not only will you be dick-less but you also will be down a hobby.”
He lets out a deep laugh, it
’s rich, and causes his eyes to twinkle with happiness; which causes me to feel a tinge of something in my heart.
“It’s not a hobby Mimi, I don’t fuck girls for fun. They come to me for the fun, it should be a shame for someone like me to have something this nice, and not put it to use.”
My eyes turn to slits, as I look down at him, a frown on my face. “Well that’s fantastic, but don’t come crying to me with you get aids, crabs, or syphilis. Hell you could end up with all three. Hell you could end up getting someone pregnant.” How we went from talking about him and his stupid come on my loofa to this is clearly not my fault.
I continue to stand there in the middle of the room with nothing but a towel on. My hands wring into the towel. As soon as I go to turn around and walk away Corey
stands up from the couch, his pace faster than I expect. I take a step back, my knees hitting the back of the coffee table. I feel intimidated; his height to weight ratio puts him at almost one hundred pounds heavier than me, and a foot taller.
He g
azes down at me, his fingers coming up to touch the small water drops that rest on my shoulders. My gaze follows the path of his fingers as he brushes them off.
“
That’s funny you don’t look pregnant Mimi. Yet.” He whispers, his tongue darting out and licking his lips. His teeth sink into his bottom lip as he looks down at me. All I can think about in that moment is reaching up and biting him. Taking that lip into my mouth and doing dirty things to him. Then he smiles and that’s all it takes to pull me out of my Corey induced coma.
“Huh?” I say, not really meaning to but not following what he’s trying to say. He leans int
o me, his smell surrounding me. It’s rich and dark like chocolate; it causes me to salivate. He affects me, and I hate it. Even worse he knows it, and I hate that more.
“You can pretend that being around me is hard, but we both know that you love it just as much as I do. You
can also pretend to hate me but we both know that’s a lie too. You want me just as much as I want you.” His breath is on my ear as he whispers the words to me. They cause a flurry of emotions to form within me. We’ve kissed before. On both occasions one of us was taken by surprise, me the first time, and him the second, but right here in this moment it occurs to me that I want to grab his face and bring his mouth down to mine. I want to kiss the fuck out of him.
Somehow I manage to find my voice, “There’s no hiding it Corey
. I hate you. The only affect you have on me is one that makes me want to vomit all over the floor. Do it again and I’ll cut you.” I try my hardest to give him a dirty look. Except it comes out looking more like a deranged monkey.
He backs up, looking as if he did nothing. But fuck it to all
hell, there’s still that smile; that smug ass smile.
“Knock off the smile too, it’s fucking creepy,
and it doesn’t work on me. The closest you’ll get to getting into my panties with that smile on your face is putting them on yourself.” I back up, towards the hall, looking over my shoulder periodically so I don’t trip over anything.
Corey gives me a puzzled look before asking “What are you doing?” I glare at him
with the same look I always give him. The one that says “what the fuck is it to you?”
“Getting the fuck away from you,
what does it look like I’m doing?” If he keeps up this shit, it’s going to be hard to keep hating him. It’s going to be hard to look at him period.
“I see that but why are you walking backwards?”
“Because, I’m in a towel, and you don’t need to be seeing my ass cheeks p
erv.” I mumble over my shoulder, as I watch my steps. He laughs the deep, rich one that makes my insides melt a little bit.
“
It’s not like I haven’t seen an ass-crack or two in my day Mimi. The difference however is that it’s your ass-crack that I haven’t seen.” He says gruffly.
I let out a growl as he take
s a hungry step towards me. Jenna is right; this cat and mouse game has to stop, because if not someone’s going to die and it’ll probably be me. Although, it could be Corey too. I make an irrational choice turning around, and running down the hall. Not even looking back to gauge his expression. I’m not one to be shy, but I don’t want him seeing my goods without working for them.
A whistle sounds behind me, “Dat ass. Dat ass.”
He yells with amusement in his voice.
Fuck it, I think to myself
. Then I do something I’ve never done before. I drop the towel, and throw both middle fingers up in the air. His laugh evaporates into the air. If that doesn’t teach him I don’t fucking know what will.
