Bittersweet Symphony (The Damaged Souls series Book 2) (20 page)

“Well, she’s not going to die and when she gets to feeling better, we’ll celebrate.”

“Have I told you how much I love you, sweetheart?” There was no missing the awe in his voice. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you either.”

“One last piece of advice before we see if the food is salvageable.” He offered a weak chuckle at the reminder that he’d yet to touch the burgers I’d bought for both of us. “And I know it won’t necessarily be easy when it’s become such a strong habit, but it’ll be worth it. Find a way to let go of your fear. You’re so worried of failing people and losing them that you’re missing out on all the wonderful blessings that surround you. Someone wise once told me when all we focus on is the bad stuff that could happen, it’s like holding a dime up to your eye. What do you see? The dime, of course. But that’s it. Toss the coin across the room and what do you see? The dime and everything else. You won’t ever be able to stop loss and death. But it’s the sweetness of life that helps make the tough times more tolerable . . . the extra bit of rope to hold on to when your grip is failing.”

“I love you,” Cooper whispered again. “And thank you.”

“In fact,” I continued, stopping to grab my purse. Rifling through the contents for what I knew lay at the bottom, I finally pulled it out victoriously. “I want you to carry this in your pocket with Owen’s tag.” And between my thumb and finger, I held a dime.

He kissed it once before tucking it away. “What did I do to deserve you?”

“You didn’t have to do anything.” A softer, lighter feeling descended over us. “Other than eat.” I chuckled, handing him a wrapped burger.

“She’s going to be okay.” The statement was more for him than a question. And taking a bite, he finally relaxed.

Chapter Twenty-One

Cooper

“I know, baby girl,” I crooned as my fingers stroked over Lola’s sleek fur. We were currently resting on the makeshift bedding I’d set up in the living room. The vet had advised Lola keep away from furniture where she could jump off so I’d ordered a large body-sized beanbag on
Amazon
and had it express shipped to the house. This way she could rest in her doggy bed and I could sit comfortably beside her on the floor.

For the most part, her recovery had been textbook and she was handling her change in routine better than I expected. It didn’t stop her soft sighs from tugging at my heartstrings, though. Glancing down at her broken leg, I was grateful that this was all that had resulted from her being hit by the car.

It could’ve been worse—much worse.

She’d been home for the past two days and I’d taken time off as well so I could watch her. It was the beauty of working with my brother—he understood my need to ensure she was okay before our mother took over babysitting duties for the remaining few weeks it would take to completely heal.

Lola let out another huff. She didn’t love the cone around her neck, but she was bearing it graciously. As tempting as it was to take it off so she could get more comfortable, I also knew she’d chew at her cast.

I knew I would in her position. The bandages and things used when I’d been injured had driven me nuts, the constant itch like a constant irritation buzzing in my brain to scratch, scratch, scratch.

Checking one last time and finding her eyes closed, I gently shifted so I didn’t disturb her. The best thing she could do right now was sleep.

It wasn’t until I was on my way back from the kitchen with food that I heard a knock at the door.

Right on time.

“Hey man,” I answered, stepping aside so Aidan could come in, a plastic bag in his hands. Ever since he heard about Lola, he’d been coming by every day with treats, giving her kisses as he whispered what a good girl she was. That was the thing about my sweet dog—everyone loved and claimed her.

“How’s she doing?” Aidan asked, peering down at her still form. “And how much longer does she have to wear the Cone of Shame?”

I pressed my finger against my lips. “Sssh, don’t let her hear you call it that. You’ll give her a complex.” With her resting, I gestured to the couch. I took a seat as well and propped my feet on the coffee table. I was exhausted. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I slept more than a few hours, if that.

Anxiety kept me awake. I was afraid that I might not hear Lola should she need me and it exasperated my insomnia. I was used to it, though. I’d spent countless sleepless night over the past few years—whether from avoiding the debilitating nightmares that plagued me or the inability to shut my damn mind off. Somewhere in my medicine cabinet, I had a prescription bottle with pills to help, but I only used them as a last resort. The medication made me a zombie the next day, sluggish at best. Since my life had taken a turn for the better, thanks to Caylee, I found my need to drug up and live in a state of numbness diminishing.

I was healing and thriving.

I’d gone from barely surviving as a man on autopilot to one who awoke each morning with a flicker of hope that kept growing. I still struggled, but I bounced back quicker. Once upon a time, Lola’s accident would’ve sent me into a dark spiral, trapping me inside my mind and body for weeks—months, until I finally clawed my way out.

Images and memories still haunted me, but at least now I had something to focus on—to live for—fight for.

“What did you bring her today?” I prompted, nodding at the bag still in Aidan’s hand. He was just as much a softie as I was. Between the two of us, Lola would end up with enough toys and treats to fill a large
Pet Smart
.

“I was Googling last night and I read an article that talked about keeping your dog mentally stimulated while they heal so they don’t get bored. So I went and picked a few things up.” And with a big grin, he dumped the contents of his bag onto the space on the couch between us.

“Shit, man, did you clear them out of everything?” There were at least four assorted squeaky toys, a plush soccer ball, a tube of tennis balls, and a package of chew bones.

Aidan’s cheeks flamed red that rivaled his ginger colored hair. “I couldn’t decide which she’d like best so I got them all.”

I couldn’t fault him or laugh. I’d done the exact same thing last night when I’d slipped out to go get her more food. Bryce had thought it hilarious when I’d returned thirty minutes later with an armful of stuff. The asshole had teased that, if this was how I was with an animal, albeit a beloved pet, he couldn’t wait to see my reaction when I became a father.

I’d flipped him off and then spent the rest of the evening picturing cute little daughters that looked exactly like their momma . . . Caylee. Surprisingly, the thought hadn’t freaked me out. In fact, it had filled me with a sense of wonder and peace.

I had a future—one that no longer terrified me.

“She’ll love these.” Squeezing the hot dog shaped toy, the noise reached Lola’s ears and they flickered. “You’re a good doggy uncle, man.”

“How you holding up?” Aidan held my gaze long enough to show he cared and was genuinely interested. “Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked the same questions each day, letting me know he was here for me as much as he was for Lola.

There was no disguising my yawn. “You could sleep for me.”

“Bad dreams?” Aidan was studying me now—for what I wasn’t sure. Maybe some tell tale sign that I was cracking beneath the mask I’d mastered over the years. While I hadn’t completely relaxed, I wasn’t in any danger of losing my shit. The melt down at the vet’s clinic had released a lot of that pressure.

I shrugged, downplaying that my nightmares had returned. Had they ever really gone? “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“If you need a break, I can watch Lola for you. Even if it’s for a few hours.” The idea of a small break did sound appealing but I couldn’t bring myself to accept the offer—at least not yet. It was going to be hard leaving her with my mom when I returned to work in two days.

She’d had the decency not to laugh when she suggested she’d FaceTime me throughout the day so I could see for myself Lola was fine. Something told me my mother was also curious to see how I handled becoming a father.

“Seriously, Coop. You haven’t even touched your food.” Sure enough, the lunch I’d prepared earlier still remained untouched. To prove that there was no need to worry, I took an extra big bite of the ham and cheese sandwich and almost choked when I swallowed too soon.

“Well, I do need to run an errand quickly, but I was going to wait until Bryce got home.” Today was a slow day for him and I expected him within the next few hours.

“She’s sleeping right now and I promise I won’t take my eyes off her.” Scooting off the couch, Aidan sat cross-legged beside the chocolate lab. His fingers brushed through her fur tenderly. “Should something happen, and I’m not saying it will, I’ll call you immediately.”

A knot formed in my gut. Damn, I had it bad. Being overly paranoid wasn’t helping in the slightest. Once again a battle warred inside me—my head telling me there was no need to be anxious while my heart struggled to listen. Finally, I relented, forcing myself to nod. “Fuck, I sound neurotic.”

“You sound like someone who loves their dog. Nothing wrong with that.” Reaching for my plate, Aidan grinned. “And I’ll help you with this as well.” I didn’t bother stopping him. The bite I’d taken sat in my stomach like a lead brick.

“I won’t be long,” I added, grabbing my keys and bowing down to kiss Lola. “Love you, sweetheart.” Then before I could change my mind, I rushed out of the house, inwardly laughing as I started the car and drove off.

I was completely screwed.

Just as Lola owned a piece of my heart, my future daughters and sons would also have me wrapped around their little fingers.

I was a goner already.

****

Two weeks later . . .

“You can’t be here, Cooper! You’ll ruin the illusion.”

If Caylee had the strength, she’d have thrown her pillow at my head. As it was, she groaned extra loud, collapsing back onto her bed and reached for more tissues. She blew her nose hard. It rivaled Rudolph’s in redness.

It was adorable.

“And what illusion would that be?” I chuckled, closing her bedroom door behind me. After texting me that she’d woken up sick, I’d been counting down the seconds until I could come over and play nursemaid. Caylee had begged that I keep my distance, but she was in no position to argue with me.

Besides, she wasn’t the only stubborn one in our relationship. I put all her attempts to shame—earning the title of Master long ago. It was something my mother often liked to remind me—sharing countless stories of my antics growing up and the battle of wills I’d engaged in. There was a reason why I was known as the hardheaded one in my family. They knew better than to go toe-to-toe with me. I was relentless to a fault.

“The one where you have a gorgeous girlfriend who’s the picture of perfect health.” She broke off as her small frame was wracked with painful sounding coughs. “And not the snotty, ick-infested, germ-carrying mess before you. Not that I’m not happy to see you . . . because I am. But you need to be careful.”

Walking over to the bed, I quickly kissed her forehead, ignoring her feeble attempts to fight me off. “I had to make sure you were okay . . . you know, see you with my own two eyes. Your text didn’t reveal anything other than you felt like you were dying.” It had been her use of that word, paired with the drama involving Lola that had sent shards of blistering ice through me. I needed everyone in my life happy and healthy.

Would that word . . . dying . . . ever lose the power to rob my breath and chill me to the bone?

“You can’t get too close, Cooper. Seriously, I’ll feel horrible if you get this.” Caylee gave up when I sat beside her. Her glower was serious as the mattress depressed under my added weight.

“Sweetheart, you’re worth getting sick over. Besides, I brought you some homemade chicken soup that’s been curing my family for generations. A bowl of it and you’ll be on your way to feeling better.”

That seemed to perk her up. “A miracle cure, huh? And you made it yourself?”

It was tempting to take the credit, but Caylee would see right through the lie; she knew when it came to cooking, I could only be relied on for the basics. Her delicious chicken noodle soup came courtesy of my mom.

I gave her a bashful grin. “When I mentioned it to my mom that you were sick earlier, she ordered me to swing by and pick up a fresh batch for you. She’d have come herself, but I didn’t want to miss the chance of taking care of you.” My admission caused my face to heat, but I didn’t care. She needed me and there was nowhere else I’d rather be.

“Soooo . . .” Caylee drawled, peering around me. “Where is this nectar of the Gods? I’m ready to kick this crud to the curb!”

“Let me go put it in a proper bowl and get you a spoon. I was given strict instructions not to let you drink it from the plastic container like the heathen Mom accuses Bryce and me of being.” Chuckling, I slipped out just as Caylee exploded into a flurry of sneezes. She really did sound like crap. There was a slight wheezing rattle in her chest. What I hadn’t told her was that I was given orders to kidnap her if I believed over-the-counter medications wouldn’t cut it.

It horrified my mother a little that she couldn’t come and simply bring Caylee home and nurse her back to health. It was the reason why my father groaned every time she spotted a stray animal or saw people giving away free kittens and puppies in the grocery store parking lot. Mom had a tender heart—big enough to want to help everyone and everything. She had a hard time walking away. She was always threatening to adopt all my friends so she could mother them as well.

To the guys, she was their second mom. As her son, it was a never-ending source of pride. I loved that others loved her as much as I did.

“I hope this is okay,” I said, returning with a cup in my hand. When I’d reached for a bowl and seen the chicken designed mug, I couldn’t resist.  “I heated it for a minute in your microwave so it still might be too hot.” I didn’t pull away after carefully setting it into her hands—scared that she might spill it.

Caylee lowered her face to the soup and inhaled. “I wish I could smell this. I bet it’s delicious.” She dipped her spoon into the flavorful liquid and blew a few times before tentatively taking a sip. “Mmmm, this is good.”

“It’s got a special ingredient in it that makes it perfect.”

“Let me guess, love?” Caylee rested the bowl in her lap and propped her back against the pillows. She looked so small and fragile.

“How’d you guess?” I teased, watching her like a hawk. She needed to drink more, especially the broth. It was hard not to simply take it from her and feed her myself. I could only imagine her reaction.

“Your mom is such a sweetheart. Please tell her thank you for me.” When I gestured for her to try another mouthful, Caylee obediently brought the cup to her lips. “I know I can’t taste this as well as I normally do, but it’s seriously good. Just the warmth going down my throat is soothing.”