Bittersweet Trust (14 page)

“I have loved you since the moment I met you. I’ve loved you through the good and bad, through the hate and pain. I loved you even when I didn’t know it. I will love you for the rest of my life, and I intend on showing you just how much every single day. Will you, Mimi Motherfucking Jones be my wife? Mine to have and to hold, for better or fucking worse?”

Silence passes and I am so worried that she is going to say no, that I almost stand up. I present the ring to her, and it is still sitting in my hand with the top open. It glistens in the setting sun, and I watch as big, fat tears fall from her eyes.

“Fuck yes!!!” she screams, interrupting the silence. I stand, pulling the ring from the box and place it on her finger. My hands are shaking with anxiety as I do so. Then I place a dozen kisses on her face.

***

“Corey Alan Winchester! You better be ready to go in less than three minutes!” Mimi’s voice is all I can hear as I grab my bag and head for the door. She is a frazzled mess. The babies will be here in less than twelve hours, and both of us are on the edge of our seats.

“I’m right here, baby,” I say, kissing her cheek and grabbing the bags from her hand. She gives me a sour faced look as she heads out the door and down to the car. I take a look around the house, knowing that next time we come here, we will be bringing two babies with us. We should have gotten animals first.

I close the door, locking it in place. I jog down to the car, throwing the bags in the backseat. I get into the driver’s seat and sit down, only to notice a very weepy Mimi.

“What’s a matter?” I ask, trying to hide the laughter. She won’t find it amusing at all.

“Just… what if… “

“What if what?” I ask, putting the key into the ignition. I check the mirrors and then the back seat, making sure we have two car seats back there.

“What if I’m a crappy mom like my mom. I really want to be like your mom…” More tears fall down her face, and I can’t help the smile that appears on my face. If she thinks those babies won’t love her as much as I do, she has another thing coming.

“They will love you just fine. You’re going to be a great mom.” I put the car into reverse, pulling out of the parking lot and then throwing it into drive.

“How do you know?” she questions.

“I know because of the way you love me, the way that I love you, and the way I will help you raise our boys. They will learn to cherish women, and they will love their mommy more than anything in the whole wide world… Just like I love you.”

She sniffles and then smiles, her face and eyes glowing. I’m pretty sure I fall in love with her ten times more in that moment.

The drive to the hospital is quiet the rest of the way while we both digest what is about to happen. We are about to become parents, and it doesn’t matter how many pregnancy books people push your way. Nothing can prepare you quite as much as the real thing.

I pull the car into the hospital parking lot, and we both sit, staring at one another.

“This is really real… we’re going to have two babies today.”

“Very much real,” I agree, exiting the car. I grab the bags from the back seat and then help Mimi get out.

Everything after that is a blur. The hospital staff registers her and places us in a room. The nurses give her some IV fluids and monitor the babies for a few hours. The wait for surgery is exhaustingly long. Finally, Mimi is on a gurney heading to the operating room. My fists clench and a swarm of butterflies fills my stomach.

“I love you,” I say, kissing her softly against the lips. She gazes up at me with so much love in her eyes that it scares me.

“I’ll see you soon…” she says as the nurse wheels her away. Our parents and friends are waiting in the waiting room down the hall, but I can’t force myself to go down there. I won’t let my father ruin today if he decided to come.

Minutes pass and minutes turn into what seems like hours… Which it couldn’t have been. A nurse eventually comes in and hands me an outfit very similar to the one she is wearing and tells me to put it on. Once it is on and in place to her specifications, she escorts me down the hall to the surgery area. The walls are an off white, matching the flooring perfectly. Why in the hell did I notice that?

We pass through double doors as she enters in a few numbers on a key pad. Then I am accompanied through another set of double doors which lead to where Mimi is being prepped. I see all the machines she is hooked up to, and Doctor Clive is talking to her.

The nurse ushers me into the room further as coldness sweeps over me. It is freezing in here. I walk over to Mimi, forcing myself not to look at anything behind the blue sheet that they placed in front of her.

“Are you excited?” Mimi asks. Her face is pale, and I can only assume it is because of all the medicine they are pumping into her.

“Of course I’m excited, baby,” I say, forcing the anxiety out of my voice. I place my hand in hers which is strapped down to a table.

“It’s so I don’t move during surgery,” she explains, taking in the way I look at her body placement. It is weird. The whole thing is strange to me, but then again, isn’t everything strange the first time it happens?

“How do you feel?” I ask, scared that she will say she is in pain or something. I am scared for her, and I am not even the one getting cut open.

“Uhh… I feel nothing,” she says smirking. The heartbeat monitor is beating and oxygen is fill into her nose. I push the hair from her face and wait for Dr. Clive to say he is starting.

“Everyone ready?” Doctor Clive asks.

Everyone says yes, including me and Mimi, and then it starts. It is literally three minutes from the time of the first cut to the time Chance is born. They pull him out, a blubbering mess. All I remember is them wiping him off and placing him on a machine to weigh him. He is a total of four pounds, four ounces. Not even a few minutes later, his brother Chase is born, and I find myself wanting to jump over everything to get my hands on the boys. I place a soft kiss against Mimi’s lips and go to get our boys so she can see them.

Chase’s skin looks blue as I make my way over to him. My heart sinks as the nurses move around quickly, not telling me what is going on. He isn’t crying; he isn’t even moving. A fright so cold and dark takes hold of me as I reach out to hold him.

“You need to step back, sir,” a nurse says, pushing me toward Chance. I stop dead in my tracks to watch them move Chase around. He is still blue, and I can feel my heart breaking.

“What’s wrong with him? Is he going to be okay? Someone tell me something!” Terror fills my voice.

“Sir, we’re doing everything we can right now…” the nurse says, pushing me back again.

“That’s not what I wanted to hear! What is wrong with him? Why isn’t he breathing?” I practically scream it out as the nurses wheel him away.

“Sir, he will be okay. Here is Baby A,” the same nurse says, placing Chance in my arms. In that second, I automatically calm down. I know that there is nothing I can do for Chase. I am not a doctor, and I need to stay calm so Mimi doesn’t become upset.

I cradle him. Dark hair peeks up at me. His face is similar to his mother’s, his nose identical to hers. I walk back over to her, placing him right next to her head.

“Mommy, meet Chance. Chance meet your beautiful, wonderful mom,” I say as normally as I can.

“Where is Chase?” Mimi asks immediately, fear in her eyes.

“They had to take him to the NICU. He’ll be okay,” I don’t know if he will be okay, but I will do everything in my power to make sure he is.

Her eyes slip from mine, landing on the soft baby boy that lays in my arms.

“He’s beautiful…” she whispers softly, her lips gently grazing his forehead. Her eyes are glazed over and I know it is because of all the meds they are feeding her.

“We’ll be back, sweetie… I promise I will be here with our boys the second you wake up.”

A sigh leaves her lips as a small smile shows on her face. Then it is as if all hell breaks loose. I watch in panic as the doctor and nurses urgently enter the room. They are frantic, and all I can hear is the pounding of my heart in my ears. Then my world stops as I hear Dr. Clive announce, “She’s losing too much blood.”

I look down at her body, the body of the woman who has given me two of the most precious miracles in the world, the body of the woman whom I have loved more than anything in my whole life. To think that I could possibly never talk to her again, to never hold her again, is just too much for me to bear.

“Please tell me she’s going to be okay,” I cry out. A nurse turns to me telling me I need to leave the room. As she grabs me and forces me back, all I can stare at is a set of eyelids covering the most beautiful green eyes that have given me a chance at love. Mimi is my one saving grace. I would do anything to trade places with her right now.

Somehow I find myself standing in the hall, a tiny baby boy wrapped in a blue blanket is the only thing holding me to the ground. His face contorts, and a loud scream escapes his tiny mouth.

A song plays on a radio somewhere, and though I don’t know all the words completely, I sing the parts that I do know to my precious baby boy.

“I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start
You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home
How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown….”

His crying weakens as I sing, “You put your arms around me and I’m home…”

Mimi

When I begin to wake up, I swear my body has been run over by a truck numerous times. My head is pounding, and the beeping of the machine next to me isn’t helping one bit. My mouth is dry, and it feels like I have eaten a package of cotton balls.

I can hear Corey’s voice somewhere in my mind. His frantic cries and something in my mind tell me I need to come back to him, that wherever I am is not where I am supposed to be.

“She’s waking up…” I can hear Jenna’s voice, but it still seems so far away. I groan, trying to lift my arms and legs but they feel as if they are tied to boulders. My fingers tingle, and suddenly I realize where I am and what has happened.

“My babies…” I try to say. My voice is weak, and I am not even sure if it can be heard over the roar of the machines next to me.

“Right here. We’re right here, baby,” Corey assures me. His voice is smooth and filled with warmth that wraps around me like a blanket. I will myself to open my eyes, just wanting to catch a glimpse of my boys.

I blink away the sleep from my eyes. I still feel heavy, and it is a strange feeling. As if I am awake, but not quite. One eye opens and then the other. My eyes land on Corey’s warm, brown ones and then slide down to the blue bundle he is holding.

He brings our baby to my level, almost placing him in my arms but not quiet.

“Where is our other baby?” I ask, worry filling my voice. Why does he only have one baby in his hands?

“Chase is in the NICU. His lungs aren’t fully developed yet, but it’s not an uncommon thing. He is in good hands, baby.” Corey’s words comfort me. He seems confident that Chase is being taken care of and will be all right. I look back down to the little bundle of joy. His nose is tiny, a button nose to be exact. His eyes are closed as if he is peacefully sleeping, and his hair, or at least what little he has, is dark in color. My fingers reach out, gently rubbing over the locks. He is as beautiful in every single way as I imagined.

“He’s beautiful. You guys did well,” Jenna says. I turn my eyes to look at her. She looks relieved to see me, and I give her a shy smile.

“Thanks,” I mumble as I continue to stare at Chance in awe. He is everything I ever wanted him to be. But, what about his brother?

“Chase will be okay,” Corey reassures me again, reading my mind. I want to believe him. I do. But as their mother, the one who has just carried them and brought them to life, I will be the judge of that. When I have him held securely in my arms, I will know for sure.

I have just closed my eyes again, my finger holding onto Chance’s small hand, when company arrives.

“Is she awake?” I hear my father ask. My eyes pop open, and a smile brightens my face. Or at least I try to smile…

“In and out…” Corey says, pulling Chance away from me. I watch him place our baby in his small, little bed.

My father eats up the distance between us until he is standing directly in front of me. His lips graze my forehead, and he looks down on me with worry.

“How are you, baby?” he asks, clearly concerned with the way I look.

“I feel like I have been hit by a truck,” I inform him, my voice hoarse as if I have been screaming for days.

He smiles, “You probably will for a while. It was worth it, though. Your boys are so beautiful, Mimi. I checked up on Chase in the NICU, and the nurses are taking excellent care of him for you.”

My father and I look a lot alike, and I get my attitude from him as well. The boys will get the Jones looks, I can tell already.