Bittner, Rosanne (37 page)

Louise
met her eyes. "We just... weren't sure what to think." The woman
stood up. "No, Tess, we won't try to make you leave. I have tried to learn
not to be too shocked by anything that happens out here. I never wanted to
come, but we have all followed husbands and fathers to this godforsaken
country, and all of us have our stories to tell. I think Harriet Caldwell has
had the hardest time adjusting. I will try to explain to the other ladies, and
I... I hope all goes well for you and your new marriage. Heaven knows you will
have your hands full with a man like John Hawkins."

Tess
could not help a smile. "I am sure I will, but what man is not a
handful?"

The
other two looked at each other, then both smiled. "We can't argue with you
there," Rachael told her.

"We
had better go," Louise said. "God be with you, Tess."

Tess
nodded. "Thank you. And I will have that dress you wanted finished next
week. I would have been done if not for having to care for John. I've had some
help from Jenny Simms. I suppose you have heard that, too. I am sure you
disapprove, but I simply couldn't handle it alone, and Jenny is a strong woman
who has been... friends... with John for a long time."

Louise
raised her eyebrows. "I hope she understands that friendship must end
now."

Tess
led them to the door. "Friendships never need to end, Louise, but Jenny
understands John is a married man now. She respects that. Jenny is also a
better person than you know, and a smart businesswoman. You really should
invite her to join our circle. We have to face the fact that things are just
different out here, whether we like it or not. We can't live by the same rules
as in the Old South or the more civilized East."

Louise
sighed, holding herself stiffly. "Yes, I suppose." She and Rachael
stepped outside, then Louise turned back to Tess. "You are a very strong
woman. Personally I think we need you in our circle. I will see to it that you
are always welcome."

Their
eyes held in mutual understanding. Tess knew that meant going oyer Harriet
Caldwell's head. If only they knew the truth about Jim Caldwell. If John had
anything to do with it, that truth would be known soon. "Thank you,
Louise. And thank you both for the food. Please thank the other ladies who
contributed. Who sent the cake?"

"Oh,
it's from Bess Johndrow," Rachael told her.

"Well,
thank her for me. I will come to another meeting as soon as I am able."
She watched them leave, closed the door. "Dear God," she muttered. She
hoped she'd convinced them. She put a hand to her belly and walked into the
bedroom to check on John, who was standing by a window in only his long johns.
"What are you doing getting out of bed by yourself?"

He
turned to face her. "Getting out of bed by myself," he answered with
a grin.

She
rolled her eyes. "You lie back down, Mr. Hawkins.

His
eyes moved over her in a way they hadn't since his return home, the look told
her he most certainly was getting better. "That was quite a speech you
gave those old bats," he told her. "I couldn't help hearing."
His smile faded. "Thanks for convincing them the baby is mine."

She
came around and gently put her arms around him, resting her face lightly
against the gauze wrapped around his chest, afraid to hug him too tightly.
"Thank you for making it all look legal. I think I'm beginning to want
this baby, John, if only because of the looks on their faces, knowing how they
would look at the poor thing if they knew the truth."

He
grasped the back of her neck, and she could feel his strength returning. A
restless desire was beginning to stir deep inside her, a desire to know the
unique pleasure she'd experienced that one night in his arms.

"You
will
love
this baby," he said. He placed both arms around
her. "I'll help you through it all, Tess. We'll show them. And they'll all
have their own bitter pill to swallow when they find out the truth about El
Paso's most illustrious citizen." His grip tightened, and she knew John
Hawkins was not going to be happy until Jim Caldwell paid for what he'd done.

Tess
set a cup of coffee in front of Captain Booth, gave another to Ken. They both
sat at the kitchen table with John, and their talk made her nervous. It had
been six weeks since John was shot. He was healed enough to think about
revenge, but physically he was far from full strength. Captain Booth was a
short, wiry man who sported a large mustache. His shaggy sandy-colored hair
hung to his shoulders, and he wore a buckskin shirt. There was a scar on his
left cheek that showed through his beard.

"You
say you know who did this, Hawk," Booth was saying. "You have to tell
me what's going on."

John
glanced at Tess as she sat down. She looked extra pretty today in that green
dress she wore, something she'd made for herself that was gathered under her
breasts in such a way that a person would hardly know she was carrying. He
hated the thought of her getting involved in this mess, possibly having to
testify against Jim Caldwell.

He
turned his attention back to Captain Booth. "I'll tell you, but you won't
believe it Either way, you have to keep completely quiet about it Don't even
tell any of the other Rangers—not yet. Without the right proof, it wouldn't be
any use."

Booth
shook his head. "And how do you plan to get this proof? I've had enough
surprises from you, Hawk. I don't want any more of your stunts, and I don't
want you doing this alone. You've already nearly got yourself killed. Let me
and the other Rangers help this time."

John
glanced at Ken.

"He's
right, Hawk," Ken told him. "I ain't told him nothin', but this is
somethin' you can't do alone. It's too big."

"Part
of it I
have
to do alone." John looked back at Booth. "I have
to go to Mexico."

Tess
closed her eyes. He would ride away again, possibly for weeks, months, possibly
forever.

"You
know we're not supposed to stick our noses into Mexico," Booth answered.

"And
you know, Captain, that we do it all the time. This time I'm not going in order
to try to arrest someone down there. I'm only going to get information, find
out who in Mexico has been buying stolen cattle." He leaned closer.
"From Jim Caldwell."

Booth's
eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Caldwell!"

"I
told you you wouldn't believe it." John leaned back in his chair.
"Now you know why we have to lay low on this until I get the proof I need.
If you doubt Caldwell's involvement, maybe my wife can convince you otherwise.
I asked her to sit in on this so she can tell you in her own words what she
knows."

Booth
frowned, looking at Tess. He still had not gotten over the shock that John
Hawkins had married, and a lovely thing she was. One thing he hoped was that
this woman would have a calming affect on John, keep him from pulling the wild,
risky stunts that kept him in trouble. "What in the world do you know about
all of this, Mrs. Hawkins?"

Tess
sipped some coffee from one of only six ceramic mugs she owned. She had had to
restock all her homemaking supplies after the fire, and still needed many
things. "I suppose I should have gone straight to you in the first place,"
she answered. "I just... I could hardly believe it, and I knew that
without real proof, people would have laughed me off. In fact, they would
probably have railroaded me right out of town." She took a deep breath for
courage, folding her hands in her lap as she spoke, telling Captain Booth what
she had seen and heard. The man shook his head in wonder.

"If
I hadn't already seen the worst in men, I couldn't believe it. But men come out
here, see how big the land is, how little law there is, and they think they can
make up their own rules and get away with anything." He finished his
coffee. "You're right, Hawk. This calls for damn good evidence."

John
glanced at Tess. He knew she didn't want him to go away, but he had no choice.
"I figured I'd go into Mexico," he told Booth, "see if I can
work my way into any group of cattlemen down there who deal with Jim Caldwell
or Casey Dunlap. I'll find out where they meet, try to set something up so
Rangers can be there and catch them red-handed. We don't have to. be concerned
with the Mexicans. They can go their own way. All we need is to catch Dunlap
selling stolen cattle. He's Caldwell's top man. He might spill what he knows
about Caldwell just to try to keep from hanging."

"Trouble
is, you think it's Dunlap that shot you," Ken spoke up. "It ain't
gonna be easy not puttin' a bullet in the man yourself."

Hatred
sparked in John's dark eyes. "No, it won't." He looked at Booth.
"I have a strong suspicion it was Dunlap, but I might never be able to
prove it. If I can get him put away and pin the rustling on Caldwell, that will
be satisfaction enough. Any cattle stolen over the winter will most likely be
taken into Mexico, before spring roundups. They'll want to get them out of
Texas as fast as they can. Caldwell will know he doesn't dare sell rebranded
cattle anyplace in Texas right now. That's why I think Mexico is the place to
get the information I need."

Booth
sighed. "Well, then, you do what you have to do. I don't aim to have
another one of my men back-shot. There's no more low-down act on this earth
than that."

Tess
felt the disappointment growing in her heart. John would go away again.

"I'll
get a message to you whenever and however I can," John told Booth. He
rose, and Tess hated the thought of seeing him strap on a gun again. "You
have to remember not to say a word to Sheriff Higgins about what I'm up to.
Tell him I've gone north, not south, if he asks. When I send a message, it will
give you only a place and time— no names. I won't even sign my own name."

Booth
also rose. "Thanks for the coffee, ma'am, and for being brave enough to
tell us what you know. I suppose you realize you'll have to do without your
husband again for a while, but I suspect when he gets back, you'll be taking
our best man away from us. Ken says you plan to settle on your father's
farm."

Tess
looked at John. They had a lot to talk about. Would this put an end to their
plans? "Yes. John will go into ranching himself." She looked back at
Booth. "I would like to rebuild there. My father would have liked
that."

"Well,
with John Hawkins running the place, I don't reckon you'll have to worry much
about raiders."

The
memory of Abel hiding under the bed flashed into Tess's thoughts. "No, I
certainly won't have to worry about that."

The
men talked a little more, and finally Booth shook

John's
hand. "Good to see you up and healing," he told him. "Just don't
go into this if you aren't ready physically."

"I
think I'm about ready." John walked with both men to the front door, then
turned to look at Tess as they left. She stood in the archway between the
kitchen and parlor, looking rather forlorn. "I'll come back in one piece
this time, and it will be over," he told her.

"I
hope you're right."

John
threw the bolt on the door, then walked closer. "I'll try to get back
before the baby is born."

She
felt a pain in the pit of her stomach. "I'm afraid for you, John."

He
reached out and pulled her into his arms. There had been no chance to make love
yet, through all his healing. He had watched her closely, had seen the honest
love in her eyes. She had faithfully nursed him, bathed him, fed him, read to
him, never complaining. He kissed her hair. "Come to bed with me, Tess. No
more sleeping out here. It isn't necessary."

She
rested her head against his chest. "It's... broad daylight."

"Doesn't
matter. This is one thing we haven't talked about... one thing we know still
needs doing."

A
charge of passion moved through her as his hands trailed lightly over her back.
"I'm not... quite so slender right now. My waist has grown."

"You
don't really think that matters, do you? There's nothing much prettier to a man
than when his woman is carrying his child; and that's what this is... our
child. Don't ever forget that."

She
looked up at him. "Can't you let someone else go to Mexico?"

He
shook his head. "You know I have to do this or never feel satisfied."

She
moved her hands along his strong forearm. "I will miss you as I've never
missed you before. The first time... was different."

"I
know."

"You
left angry. I'm sorry about that."

"I
wasn't angry. Just disappointed."

"I
won't ever let you leave that way again. I've never felt this way about another
man, not the young man I thought I loved back in San Antonio and never about
Abel. The whole town thinks I'm crazy, but I don't care." She met his
eyes. "I love you, John Hawkins. This time I can say it with no
reservations."

It
still didn't seem real to Tess that she was married to this wild, sometimes
ruthless man, but when his full lips met her mouth, the reality of it hit her.
She really did love him. This would not be like that first time. This was not
just a duty or an experiment, nor just so he could legally claim her as his
wife. This was sheer desire, total need, aching passion. It had lain buried
deep inside through his sickness, had stubbornly refused to surface even when
he was better, for she still wrestled with the right and wrong of it... until
now... until his delicious kiss immediately erased all her former doubts and
inhibitions.