Bittner, Rosanne (63 page)

Lettie could not help feeling a wave of the old agony of remembering when Nathan was first torn from her arms, and how it felt when he ran away from them after they had finally found him again. How could she bear seeing him and then losing him yet again? Surely he was back to stay this time. Why else would he have come? But why? Why now? "You said... you talked to him. He speaks English now?"

Ty scowled. "Yeah, pretty well. He even dresses mostly like a white man, but his hair is still long, and he wears moccasins."

"We gave him food and some wood for the heating stove," Brad told her. "He seemed real grateful."

Lettie could not help the tears that spilled out of her eyes. She grasped Luke's hand. "He's twenty-two years old now," she said absently. Eighteen years it had been since her son was first taken from her. How could that be? Why was he here? She wiped at her eyes, glanced at Ty. "One day, when you have your own children, Ty, you will understand how I feel about this. You're all special, for so many different reasons." She looked at Robbie, Katie, back to Tyler. "You have been a loyal, hard-working, devoted son. Surely you don't think your father and I could forget that. The way Nathan was raised, I highly doubt he has much interest in the ranch. There must be some other reason he is here. Give him a chance, Ty. My being able to keep my son with me this time could depend in part on how all of you treat him. This could be the most important thing I have ever asked of any of you." She looked around at all of them again. "No matter how you feel about him now, he's still your brother. You all share the same blood through me, and no matter where Nathan has been these last years, he is still my son." She squeezed Luke's hand.
"Our
son. A MacBride by blood, a Fontaine by adoption, and because your father has the ability to love him just because he loves me. If he can love Nathan with no blood connection at all, surely all of
you
can learn to love him." She closed her eyes. "Thank God we came back when we did. He might have left again without our ever getting to see him."

"Lettie, don't get your hopes up," Luke warned. "You know what happened last time. Maybe there is just something he needs and he'll want to leave again."

Probably wants some money,
Tyler thought. For his mother's sake, he would keep his opinion to himself, but he could not help believing Nathan was here for only one reason.

"Not this time," Lettie was saying. "I feel it in my heart. Nathan is here to stay."

Tyler, Robbie, Katie, and Brad all sat quietly in the parlor, watching their mother pace nervously. Luke had gone to get Nathan, and Tyler thought about how Nathan must surely be overwhelmed by the elegance of the Fontaine home, Oriental rugs, expensive vases and statues, silk-covered chairs and rich oak and mahogany furniture. He and Katie and Robbie had put up a huge Christmas tree near the window, knowing their mother liked the biggest tree they could find, wanting to surprise her with it when she and Luke got home. Did Nathan even understand what the tree was for? What did he know about their family and how they lived?

He didn't like feeling this anger, but he couldn't help it. After so many years of being the oldest brother and doing everything he could to show his father he was fit to take over the ranch he loved so much, it just didn't seem right having an older brother come along who had decided long ago he wanted nothing to do with this family. The first time he came back, he had been forced. This time he had come on his own. That could only mean he wanted to make the Double L his home, which was like making it home to an Indian, after all the heartache the Sioux had caused his parents. None of it seemed fair.

He looked up when he heard the outer door open and close, heard Luke and Nathan stomp their feet to get off the snow. He watched his mother, who stared at the parlor door as though a ghost was about to enter. The epitome of a mother's love shone in her eyes when Nathan stepped inside the room, and Tyler hated him. Nathan stared back at her silently.

"Hello, son," Lettie spoke up.

He nodded. "Mother."

Mother! At last he had called her mother. Lettie struggled against a need to run to him, embrace him, but he was a stranger, a grown man, so tall and strong and handsome! She could hardly believe this was her son. A little part of her was stunned at how much he looked like the man who had given him life. It brought back the memory of that night of horror, but she reminded herself that Nathan was innocent of that awful night. He was life, a grown-up human being who need never know the truth of his beginnings. She glanced at Katie, warning her with her eyes she must never tell. Katie only smiled through tears. She seemed to understand how she felt.

She looked back at Nathan, whose blond hair was tied into a tail at the back of his neck. He wore cotton pants and a calico shirt with knee-high winter moccasins and a doeskin vest. How strange to feel so nervous around her own son. "I... I'm so glad you came. Ever since you left eight years ago, we've been so worried, Nathan, wondering if you were all right. We were even going to try to find you this summer."

Nathan glanced at his siblings. He could not help sensing Tyler's animosity since he had arrived, understood it to some extent. Robbie and Katie had been good to him, but he knew Tyler would rather he left, and he would, if he thought he could stand living on the reservation the rest of his life. He looked back at his mother. "I was in Canada for five years after the Battle of the Greasy Grass."

"Greasy Grass?"

"The Little Big Horn," Luke explained. He walked past them to the fireplace to roll himself a cigarette from tobacco and papers he kept there.

"You were
there?"
Lettie asked, her eyes wide with wonder.

Lettie saw it then—a quick flash in Nathan's eyes—the Indian spirit drilled into him that brought forth a certain pride, a hatred for soldiers like George Custer.

"I was there," he answered, holding his chin proudly. "It is no use trying to explain to any white man why it happened. No white man wants to hear the Indian side of it."

"But you
are
white," Tyler reminded him.

Nathan met his brother's eyes, put a fist to his chest. "Not in here."

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" Tyler asked.

Lettie cast him a quick look of chastisement. "He's here because he's our son and your brother!" she snapped. "If he feels more like a Sioux, who can blame him? He was
raised
by them!" She looked back at Nathan. "I don't care
why
you're here, Nathan, or how Indian you are, or even if you have no feelings for me as a mother. It doesn't change how I feel about you. I will always love you just the same as I loved the little four-year-old boy who was stolen away from me all those years ago. Whatever the reason, I'm glad you're here, glad to be able to see you again and know you're all right." She quickly wiped at tears with her fingers. "How is it you speak English now?"

"For three years I have lived on the reservation. Missionaries were there. I learned more quickly than the others because as I took the lessons, many of the words came back to me from when I was small." He glanced at Luke, who nodded to him reassuringly, then he looked around at the others, back to his mother. "I know that my brother Tyler thinks I have come here because my white father is an important man and rich in white man's money, but I do not care about these things. I only care about my family."

"Family! Do you have children?"

"A daughter and a son. They are called Sweet Grass and Runner, but the missionaries made us give them white names. The girl is four summers. She is called Julie, after the white woman who teaches them; our son is two summers. He is named Luke, because it was the only white man's name I could think of."

Tyler's anger only increased at the news. He had always thought he would name his own first son after Luke. Now Nathan had stolen that honor from him.

Lettie looked at Luke, more tears wanting to come. "Do you hear that, Luke? We have two more grandchildren! Four grandchildren!" She looked back at Nathan. "Oh, Nathan, I'm so glad for you. Why aren't they with you? Where is your wife?"

He looked around the room, feeling out of place in the fancy home. "My wife is called Little Bird. The missionaries gave her the name of Leena. She and my children are still at the reservation at the Cheyenne River in the Dakotas. The government would not let them leave with me. Only I could leave because I am white. I need special written permission to bring them out of there, from a white man who will agree to take charge of them." His eyes began to glitter with anger. "None of you can know how bad life is on the reservation. My people are starving. They do not have enough clothes and blankets. The meat they bring us is rotten. Many drink themselves to death or shoot themselves because they cannot bear having to stay on one little piece of land taking handouts from the white man and eating rotten food. The men are forced to plow the ground like women, and the children are taken away to a special school in the East where many of them die of white man's disease or of broken hearts. The white teachers there cut their hair and make them wear white man's clothes, and they beat them for speaking in the Sioux tongue. I am sorry for my people, but the missionaries helped me understand that as one man there is little I can do. They told me that because of my white mother and father, there is a way for me to take my family out of there and have a better life, and I realized they were right. I remembered you and Luke told me that if I ever wanted to come back here, I would be welcome."

Luke stood smoking quietly by the fireplace. He watched Lettie's eyes light up with joy, and he knew what this meant to her.

"Oh, yes, Nathan! I can't think of anything more wonderful than having you and your wife and our grandchildren right here at the Double L!"

Nathan looked over at Tyler. "I am not here to take any of my father's wealth. I only want my family to be safe, to have enough to eat, to be warm in winter. I do not want to worry about the government taking my children from me." He moved his gaze back to Lettie. "I only want a place to live. I will work. I will not just sit here. I will help my father. I am good with horses, but I know nothing about what to do with cattle. I can learn."

"Of course you can learn!" Lettie broke into tears, turning away for a moment to get control of herself. Luke walked over to put an arm around her.

"There is one more thing," Nathan told them.

Lettie wiped at her eyes, and Luke held her close to his side. "What is that?" he asked.

"There is one more person I would like to bring here. She is Sioux. Her name is Morning Sun, but her white name is Ramona. She is my sister, youngest daughter of Half Nose, who died not long after I left here the first time. That is why I left sooner than I had promised. My father's brother came in the night to tell me Half Nose was very ill. I went to be with him."

A wave of emotions swept through Luke. Half Nose. He had hated the man for so many years. Now he was expected to turn around and take in the man's daughter. What an ironic twist of fate. "How old is she?" he asked.

"She will be sixteen summers when the snow is off the ground and the sun is hot again."

Katie smiled at the odd way Nathan had of expressing himself.

"Well, a lot of people aren't going to like the fact that I have Indians living here on the Double L," Luke answered, "but I've gone against the majority more than once since I came here, so I guess they'll just have to learn to live with this, too."

Lettie looked at him, realizing it was not easy for him to give shelter to Indians. They had stolen his son away. Now he would have to put up with crude remarks from others for allowing Indians to live at his ranch, but maybe most would understand, realizing what it meant to her to have her son back. "Thank you, Luke." She looked at Nathan. "When will you bring them?"

"In the summer. I will need a written letter from Luke to show to the reservation agent. As soon as the letter is ready, I will go back. The agent promised my children would not be taken away while I am gone, but I do not trust him. I am afraid for them."

"Then Luke will go into Billings and send a wire to the reservation, demanding that nothing be done until you get back. Luke is an important man, Nathan. If he tells them to keep the children there, they will do it."

Nathan met Luke's gaze. "I am grateful."

"You will at least stay with us for Christmas, won't you, Nathan?" Lettie asked. "It's only two days away. Are you... are you Christian?"

He folded his arms. "As I learned the white man's religion from the missionaries, I came to see that it is not so different from the Sioux. We all believe in a Great Being who watches us from above and listens to our prayers. Yes, I am Christian, but I am also Sioux, and there are many Indian beliefs that will never leave me."

Luke walked back to the fireplace. He took a deep drag on his cigarette, then threw it into the hearth and faced the rest of his children. "I don't know exactly how all of you feel about this, but it's my decision," he told them. "I'm letting Nathan bring his family and his step-sister here to live." He looked at Tyler. "All of you know how important this is to your mother. When I met and fell in love with her, I also loved and accepted Nathan as my own because he was her son, and I knew how much
she
loved him." He directed his gaze at Tyler. "For more reasons than you know, I vowed never to let Lettie's son feel any less loved or accepted than any of our own children. I will not cheat any son of mine out of what is rightfully his, but I will be fair about who has earned the right to this ranch and take into consideration whether or not each child even
wants
a part of this ranch. Tyler, we all know who has earned that right more than any other. You ought to trust me enough to know I would never take anything from you that you honestly deserve, nor could any other child change the way I feel about you or how proud I am of you or the special relationship we've always had."

He looked at Robbie. "That doesn't mean Tyler is any more special than you, Robbie, or Katie or Pearl, and Nathan isn't any more special just because he's the long-lost son. You're all
my
children, all loved the same."