Black Horse (17 page)

“We are not going to force you to leave here,” Sitting Bull said. “But it is an option you have, and maybe if you are away from the daily reminders of those you have recently lost, it will be easier for you to cope with the loss.”

“And we could help you look for your real family,” Superintendent Walsh added. “This is the main reason we are offering to take you back to the fort. If any of your real family is still living nearby, they do deserve to know that you are alive and well.”

Meadow stared at the Mountie as his words settled in her tormented mind. She wiped at the tears that continued to flood down her cheeks with the back of her hand. Her real family? The idea that she might have living relatives somewhere had never even occurred to her.

“If you still have family…Maybe there was a sibling who survived the attack on the wagon train. Or perhaps if you still have a parent or grandparents that have been looking for you all these years, then I truly believe that they should know where you are,” Walsh added.

“You would always be welcome to return to our people any time you wish,” Sitting Bull added.

Meadow nodded weakly toward the Sioux chief, then looked at Gentle Water again. “I realize that my position in the tribe has changed now, and that I am nothing more than a burden to everyone, but I do love my adoptive people, and I will always be completely devoted to the Sioux.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “And I hate the ways of the whites almost as much as they hate us.”

“We will never try to turn you against the Sioux,” Walsh said. “If you do not want to go with us freely, we will never bother you again.”

Walks Tall had remained quiet since they had begun speaking. Now he felt that it was his turn. “Meadow,” he began as he picked up her hand again. “You do have another choice if you want it. My offer to take care of you—to make you my woman—is still a choice you can make. I know that you will never love me as you loved Black Horse, and that is as it should be, but I will do everything in my power to give you a good life.”

Except for the superintendent’s whispered translations to Cornett, everyone else was silent as they waited to hear Meadow’s response to the warrior’s heartfelt proposal.

Walks Tall’s words spun through Meadow’s mind like a tornado. She did not want to go with the Mounties, nor did she want to live with Gentle Water and her grandmother any longer than necessary. But to become the woman of Walks Tall—the dearest friend of Black Horse—was not an option that she could give in to so easily. After knowing one indescribable night of love and passion with Black Horse, she still could not imagine lying in any other man’s arms.

His dark eyes met her gaze as he waited for her answer. On his face, she could see an expression of tenderness and hope. “Your kind offer touches my heart more deeply than I can ever tell you, and I wish so very much that I could say yes to you. But—” She saw the disappointment wash through his face the instant she said that word, and she felt a sharp pain shoot through her breast as she continued. “Although Black Horse is supposedly dead, my love for him has not died. It would not be fair to you to be with a woman who still mourns—and loves—another man.”

“But in time…” Walks Tall began with a pleading tone in his voice.

“Time is not something any of us have,” Meadow said, recalling the talks she had had with her father and with Black Horse. She reached up and gently touched his cheek. “If I could love that way again, I would be so very proud to be your woman.”

A tear rolled down Meadow’s cheek as she looked into Walks Tall’s sorrowful ebony gaze. His head nodded slowly, and he looked down at the ground as he pulled his hand away from hers. In many ways he was so like her beloved Black Horse, but still she could only love him as a friend.

As she drew in a deep, trembling breath, Meadow made the most difficult decision of her life.

“Shall we have another English lesson?” Brandon asked as he placed a steaming cup of tea on the table in front of Meadow.

“Not now. We practice more later,” she replied impatiently in her much-improved English dialect. She had her mind on much more important matters right now. A regiment of soldiers from Fort Keogh was planning to pass through Fort Walsh today, and Meadow was determined to talk to them when they got here.

Not to be deterred, Brandon sat down in a chair beside her. He would not give up on her, no matter how long it took or how much she resisted. It had taken him too long and had nearly cost him his career in the North-West Mounted Police to convince his superintendent that they should rescue this girl from the Indians. Only once did he wonder if they were doing the right thing, and that was when she had confessed how much she had truly loved the war chief, Black Horse, when they had been in Sitting Bull’s tepee, and Superintendent Walsh had graciously repeated this revelation to him.

“All right then,” Brandon said as he settled back in the chair. “We’ll just enjoy our tea.” He noticed how beautiful she looked today. Obviously, she was making an effort to fit in with her own people. Her golden,
shoulder-length hair was brushed neatly behind her ears and held back with two pearl combs. They had bought her some clothes from a trader that had been at the fort, and today she was wearing a black skirt and a white ruffled blouse that buttoned high up to her chin. Her prim and proper look made Brandon wish he weren’t such a gentleman. If only he could just convince her to use a white name instead of
Meadow
, the English translation of her Indian name.

“When American soldiers arrive?” Meadow pushed the teacup away and leaned forward to look out the window again.

Her request took Brandon by surprise, and he didn’t even bother to correct her language as he usually did. “Midday, I would imagine, but why do you want to know?”

“Just w-wondering.” She shrugged her shoulders in a nonchalant manner and pulled the teacup back toward her again. As Brandon had taught her, she picked up the teacup by the handle and daintily stuck her pinky finger up in the air as she sipped the hot brew.

“Well, if you like, I could take you out to meet them when they arrive.” Brandon nodded and smiled with approval at the proper way she was holding her cup.

Meadow shrugged again as if she had lost interest in the visitors. “No, I see enough American soldiers to last me a long time,” she said.

Brandon nodded his head in a sympathetic gesture. When she turned to look at him again, Brandon felt his chest grow tight. Her beautiful jade eyes seemed to penetrate into his soul, and her full lips were parted slightly as if they were waiting to be kissed. With no
thought to the consequences, Brandon leaned forward to fulfill one of many of his dreams about this lovely young woman.

His impulsive action caused Meadow to gasp loudly and push back her chair in a desperate move to get away. She jumped to her feet and stepped behind her chair in a defensive stance. “What you doing?” she demanded.

Brandon also sprang to his feet. He could feel the heat in his face, and he could see the horrified expression on Meadow’s face. He inwardly berated himself for being so impatient.

“I’m so sorry, Meadow. I just don’t know what came over me. Please…” He reached out toward her, but she flinched and backed farther away from him. “It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Please leave,” she said in a low voice as she turned her back to him.

Meadow waited until she heard the door close and knew that the lieutenant was gone before she turned back around. Now more than ever she had to find out what she needed to know as soon as possible so that she could go home—to the Sioux—where she would stay forever, this time.

By the time the troop arrived at Fort Walsh shortly after noontime, Meadow had rehearsed her speech a hundred times. Even though Brandon’s constant efforts to teach her En glish were annoying, she had made every effort to learn all that she could from him. Since she knew some of the language already, she had been a quick study. It had only been a little over a week since she had returned to the fort and started speaking the
white man’s language, and she could already carry on a conversation. Brandon was convinced that she was learning so quickly because subconsciously she already knew the English language. Meadow thought it was just because she was smart.

With her heart pounding rapidly in her breast, Meadow grabbed the small satchel that contained her few earthly possessions and hurried out of the cabin. The American soldiers had been in meetings with Canadian leaders to discuss a plan to coax the thousands of Indians who had crossed into Canada in the past couple of years back to the American side. Meadow had heard that they were promising the Indians land of their own if they returned, but this was ironic, because the land already belonged to the Indians. It was the white men who had stolen it from them. And, even worse, the land would be deemed reservation land, which meant the white men would be in charge of everything that the Indians did. They would be like prisoners on their own land. Meadow could not imagine Sitting Bull agreeing to this arrangement for his people. But would he be given any choice?

The American soldiers were stopping only long enough to take a quick lunch break at Fort Walsh and then heading out again, so they were all in the mess hall when Meadow put her plan into action. As she entered the building, she immediately caught the attention of all the men who saw her come through the door. There were still no women at this isolated fort, and the mother and daughter she had seen the last time she was here were long gone.

Meadow focused on finding the man in charge of the American troop. As she passed by the rows of tables,
every man jumped up and nodded at her. Meadow thought this white man’s habit was foolish, but she nodded back politely and motioned for them to sit down again. As she approached a table in the center of the room, she spotted Superintendent Walsh. Beside him sat a soldier wearing a dark blue coat with yellow shoulder boards. The four bars that adorned each of the boards were the designation for an officer in the U.S Calvary. Meadow knew that she had found the man she was looking for.

Both men stood as Meadow walked up to their table, and she could tell by the perplexed expression on the superintendent’s face that he was more than a little surprised to see her there. Since she wanted to waste no more time than necessary, she broke into her speech instantly. “I am Meadow. I lived with Hunkpapa Sioux tribe since I was b-baby.” Her uncertainty about how to pronounce some words still frustrated her, so she did not object when superintendent took over and explained her situation to the captain of the American cavalry.

“You must be so relieved to finally be away from those terrible savages,” Captain Smith said as he let his gaze rake down over Meadow’s body.

The uneasiness Meadow felt under the captain’s lustful gaze almost made her forget her plan. Yet her desperation to find out the truth about Black Horse gave her the courage to proceed. “Yes, and eager to find real f-family. I would ask please take me to Fort Keogh with you. I feel I would have better ch-chance to find them if back in my own country.”

The captain looked at Walsh and shrugged. “I see no reason why she could not return to Fort Keogh with
us.” He glanced back at Meadow. “We’ll do everything we can to help you find your family. Until then, you would be more than welcome to stay at the fort. We have several families living there, and I would suppose the presence of other white women would be a great comfort to you after your terrible ordeal.”

She gave a feeble nod. Out of the corner of her eye, Meadow noticed a man jump up from his seat. She knew who he was even before she turned to look at him. Brandon Cornett’s mouth was open as if he was ready to voice his opinion, but to Meadow’s relief, Superintendent Walsh did not give him a chance.

“Our only desire for this poor girl has been to help her re unite with any family that she might have.” Walsh cast a threatening look in the lieutenant’s direction. “And being in the presence of other white women would be absolutely wonderful for her introduction back into civilization.” He narrowed his eyes and gave his head a negative shake when Cornett tried to speak again.

“Well, then, Miss—eh—Meadow,” Captain Smith said as he motioned toward her and smiled. “We’ll be leaving within the hour.”

“I’m ready,” she answered. She looked back toward Brandon and then at the superintendent as she added, “I thank you much for what you have—” She paused, trying to think of the words she wanted to say.

“It was the least we could do,” Walsh said as he continued to cast warning glances at Lieutenant Cornett. “Good luck finding your family.”

Meadow nodded and smiled at the superintendent, then let her gaze settle on the lieutenant’s disappointed
face. Since she hoped never to see him again after today, she decided to cut all ties with him right now. She motioned for him to follow her out of the mess hall, but when they reached the front stoop, he did not give her a chance to speak.

“Why would you want to leave here?” he demanded. “I am going to help you find your family when the time is right and you are ready.” He reached out and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Can’t you see how hard I have worked to get you back here to your own people where you belong? And I had dared to hope that someday we would have a future together.”

His words left Meadow’s body numb as a sick feeling began to twist her stomach into knots. This man had ruined her future with Black Horse, yet presumed that they would have a future! She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands and tried to focus on what she had to do.

“I—I really f-feel I have better chance of finding my family if I go to Fort Keogh,” Meadow finally managed to say.

“But that is not a part of my plan for us,” Brandon said in determined tone of voice.

“Being here was not my plan,” Meadow retorted. No longer able to hide her true feelings, she added, “I was to be wife to proud Sioux war chief, Black Horse, and live among my adoptive people.” Tossing her head back, Meadow glared up at the Mountie’s face.

Although she was prepared to engage in an angry confrontation, when his tortured gaze lowered to meet hers, she realized that he really did not understand just how deeply his actions had hurt her. Meadow was reminded of another man who had looked at her in the
same way not too long ago. The memory of Walks Tall’s poignant proposal still haunted her thoughts constantly. But there was absolutely nothing else about Brandon Cornett that could even begin to compare with the Sioux warrior.

“Ever since that first day when I saw you at the Sioux village, I only wanted what was best for you. You must understand that. Will you—? Do you think…that you might want to come back here someday?” Brandon asked quietly.

Meadow looked down at the ground and took a deep breath. There was always the possibility that their paths would cross again someday, but she really hoped that they wouldn’t. Right now, the only thing she wanted was to learn the truth about what happened to her beloved Black Horse. “Good-bye, Lieutenant Cornett,” she said as she turned to leave.