Black Number Four (39 page)

It’s silent for just a small second before Skyler huffs and grabs my arm, pulling me around to face her. I could shrug her off if I wanted to, but I let her turn me, I let her force me to face her because I’ve decided I want her to see what she’s done.

“Okay, you’re mad,” she assesses, taking in my features. “And you deserve to be. But don’t you dare treat me like that. You’re going to let me explain myself and you’re not going to say a word until I finish and
then
you can make up your mind about me.”

“I don’t have to –”

“Damn it, Kip!” Skyler’s voice is louder than I’ve ever heard it, a desperate high pitch when she says my name. “Let me fight for you! If you don’t want me after you hear me out, I’ll let you go.” She swallows those last words, her eyes shifting and my heart aches at the thought even though I know it’s what I have to do. “But I’m not going to do that until I know I’ve fought to keep you.”

I tense my jaw, not saying anything but not turning back around either. I’m giving her the chance to speak. She takes a deep breath at the realization and moves closer, but I take a step back and she halts, her eyes hurt.

“It’s true,” she finally says. And even though I knew it was, hearing it from her makes the anger roar through me again. “But it’s not what you think.” She clarifies quickly. “The night I met you, Kip, I wanted you. For
me
. You completely captured me. And then when I saw you in class, I knew it would only be a matter of time before you would be mine.”

“Cocky, are we?” I mean to say it as a joke, but my voice refuses to lighten and I sound like an asshole. I wish I was sorry.

She gives me a piercing look and purses her lips before continuing. “Right after that, I went back to the sorority house and Erin called us all into her room. She told us the story about you guys that summer and then she dropped the bomb that you were here. And when she said your name, everything changed. She came up with this…” she waves her hand in the air. “Sick game, and like a fool I agreed. But Kip,” she pleads. “I
tried
to get out of it. I gave Bear’s Little money to buy me at the auction. I tried to stay away from you. I tried to make you not want to be around me but the more I tried to avoid you the more I fell for you. And that?
That
was not a game. That wasn’t fake, it wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t pretend.”

She pauses for a moment, her breathing still just as hard. Her hands are shaking and her eyes are glossing over. The combination absolutely fucking wrecks me and I instantly want to reach out and pull her into me, but I can’t.

“Kip,” she pleads, stepping closer and this time I don’t move away. “That night at the dance, it broke me, too. And seeing you with Erin? It.” She stops, shaking her head, tears finally sliding slowly down her cheek. “I can’t even explain what it did to me. I’ve never cared about anyone the way I care about you. I would have just let any other guy go without so much as a second glance. But you have changed me. You’ve opened up the side of me that I have tried so desperately to hide and I’m not even sure why. You like me when I’m being
me
, no matter what I’m wearing or who I’m with or what I’m doing. You care about my love for poker and no one has ever taken the time to appreciate what I love the way you have.”

When she brings up poker, my breathing suddenly picks up again, my heart beating hard in my chest.
Shit…

Here I am, pissed off and hurt by what she did to me, knowing that what I did to her was way worse. In fact, as of now, my dad doesn’t even know that the plan is off. I still have her file on my computer and printed out, stuffed in box under my bed. I still have the video of her tournament. And yet with all of that, whether it was before I decided I was done with his plans or after, everything between me and Skyler has been real for me.

And that’s exactly what she’s telling me now.

“You made it impossible to play Erin’s game because you came at me so fiercely and without apologies and you made me love you, Kip.” She chokes, the words bringing me back to life and murdering me all at the same time. “And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry for what I’ve done. But I’m not sorry for loving you.”

Without hesitation, I reach out and pull her hard into my chest, wrapping my arms around her as she melts into me. I feel the tension in both of us disperse at the touch, each of our bodies reacting to the same charge that’s been there since the very first kiss.

“I’m so sorry,” she repeats, her tears soaking through my shirt as she grips me tighter.

I kiss her hair. “Stop, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

She shakes her head, pulling back to look up at me. “It’s not okay. None of it was okay and I knew it then just as much as I know it now. But it’s over and I promise I will never lie to you again. I don’t want to keep anything from you. Ever. You’ve always given me nothing but honesty and that’s what I want to give to you. I’m sorry. Please, please forgive me.”

My nose flares and I pull her back into me, looking up to the sky to stop the tears I feel coming. Men don’t cry. My dad taught me that at a young age and so far it’s worked against broken bones and bullies at school, but I don’t think Dad could have ever prepared me to feel the weight of the shit I’ve piled on myself now.

I know I should tell her, I should lay everything out now, but I can’t. I forgive her for her and Erin’s stupid game, but the one I’ve been playing is far worse. I know there would be no coming back.

“I do,” I say softly, kissing her forehead. “I forgive you.”

I feel her weight fall completely into me and I hold her tighter, letting her know I’m there. As I hold her, I go over the words in my head. The words I’ll say when we dock on Tuesday and I call my dad. Once I tell him, it’ll all be over. Skyler and I can be together without any lies, without any games, without any
thing
, period, standing between us.

Suddenly, her words come back to me. In the midst of her apology, of her confession, of her fighting to keep me – she said she loved me.

I told Erin I loved her that summer we were together when I didn’t know any better. Since then, I haven’t said it to anyone but my parents. I pull back, still holding Skyler in my arms but tilting her chin up to face me.

“I love you, too,” I say softly and her lip quivers, more tears falling. She smiles, shaking her head as I wipe them away with the pad of my thumb. “I don’t deserve you, I’ll never be good enough for you, but I love you nonetheless.”

I lean down and softly press my lips to hers, tasting the salty-sweetness of her lips mixed with her tears. Skyler crying is one of the most painful things I’ve seen, especially knowing it was because of me. I say a silent promise to myself to never be the cause of her tears again. From now on, I’m only here to wipe them away.

I move both hands to the side of her face and kiss her with everything I have, letting all the anger and pain melt away in the heat between us. She pulls me closer, fisting her hands in my shirt and deepening our kiss and my body reacts to her instantly. Groaning, I grip her waist tighter, turning to press her back against the railing as I kiss from her lips along her jaw and down to her neck.

“Take me back to your room,” she says quietly, breathless. The moon is so bright tonight we might as well be standing under a spotlight. The way the soft blue light catches Skyler’s eyes makes me want to find a pen and write about it. This is a scene that should be remembered, that should be cherished, a moment everyone should see. I thought she looked amazing in the morning light, but in the darkness and the cool glow, she’s something… more. Beautiful.

So devastatingly beautiful.

I wrap my arm around her and pull her close to my side as we walk toward the elevator. She laces her fingers with mine around her hip, leaning into me, and I swear the electricity between our bodies is intensified at just the thought of being closer.

When we reach my room, Kade is inside. He smiles when he sees us, but his eyes are questioning, curious. He wants to know what happened between us, but neither of us feels like talking right now.

“Get out,” I say firmly.

Kade nods, a shit-eating grin on his face as he grabs his flask from the dresser on his way out. As he slides by us and stands at the door, he gives us both a wink that makes me roll my eyes and Skyler turn a soft shade of pink. I’m kind of jealous that blush didn’t come from me.

When we’re alone, that same electricity buzzes to life. The air feels tight, hot, charged. I walk to the small dresser and grab my phone plugged into the charger. “Do you like Ed Sheeran at all?”

Skyler shrugs, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I don’t know, I’ve never really listened to him, honestly.”

I press play and
Tenerife Sea
starts to pour softly from my phone’s speaker. Turning, I pull Skyler to her feet and place my hands on either side of her face again before slowly pressing my lips to hers. I kiss her soft at first, the tear stains on her cheek reminding me of the pain we both felt just minutes ago, but then she starts to move with me, her mouth opening to let my tongue inside.

Her hands are in my hair and every touch clouds my head more, every kiss blinds me from the rest of the world. I grab the hem of her hoodie and gently pull it over her head. When I realize all that’s left is her bra underneath, I smile against her lips.

“Were you planning on taking this off at all tonight?”

“I was hoping you’d be the one to do it,” she breathes, biting her bottom lip a little.

I take my time slowly unbuttoning her jeans, my mouth still fixed on hers, before tugging them down around her ass, her thighs, and finally letting them fall the rest of the way to the floor. She backs up a little, her eyes locked on mine, and hooks her thumbs in the strap of her thong before slowly sliding it down her thighs. When it joins her jeans on the floor, she steps out of them and stands completely bare in front of me, her breasts pebbled in anticipation.

She crosses the short space between us and pulls my shirt up just enough to rub her hands along my abdomen, her fingertips just tracing the hem of my boxers. My eyes roll back at the touch and I quickly remove my shirt as she unties my board shorts. I pull them along with my boxers down to my feet and kick them to the side. And then we’re both standing there, completely exposed, our breaths heavy in our chests. Something in the room feels different this time. Neither of us is in a rush. We’re desperate to touch each other, but each restraining against the urge to go faster. I let my eyes wash over her body, from her electric blue eyes all the way down to her slim ankles that I can’t wait to have wrapped around me. She does the same, her fingertips trailing a line along my jaw before dropping down my chest, my abs, and resting just above where I want her hands to be.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” I whisper, and I’m not sure why I don’t say it louder. It’s almost as if I’m afraid if I say it too loud, someone else will wise up and notice, too, and I might lose her.

She smiles, falling back to sit on the edge of the bed again. She crawls up to the pillows, her eyes on me as she moves. She’s sprawled out on the bed, her flawless body even more tan against the white sheets as she slowly lets her legs fall open before beckoning me with her index finger.

Starting at her ankle, I kiss my way up, touching every inch of her skin with my lips as I crawl on top of her. When I reach her mouth, I pull her bottom lip between my teeth and rub my hard on against her clit, making us both groan at the touch. I keep working, slowly rubbing against her until the friction is too much for both of us. Skyler reaches down between us, gripping me in her hand and placing me at her entrance. Just the feeling of my tip at her opening makes us both stop breathing, our bodies frozen until I close the space and slowly enter her, letting every inch of me feel her warmth.

And then the rest of the world is gone.

Skyler moans when I push all the way in, her head falling back against the pillows. I stay low and pressed against her as I move in and out, planting kisses on her neck, her breasts, her collar bone, her lips. She grips my arms tight, her fingertips holding on fiercely as she looks up at me from the sheets. Her dark hair is splayed all around her, her eyes wide, her lips plump, her cheeks flushed. She’s so fucking beautiful it’s almost too much to keep looking at her.

I reach down and pull her left leg up, hitching it over my shoulder as I slide in even deeper. Skyler moans louder at that and I close my eyes to refrain from coming right then. I’ve never been a fan of missionary, but with her leg draped over my shoulder and those fucking eyes staring up at me, it’s all I can do to wait for her to come first.

I pull her nipple between my teeth and bite, gentle enough to not hurt her but with enough force to make her moan. Her breathing is faster now, her heart beating hard beneath me. I know she’s close.

Quickly, I flip over, pulling Skyler on top of me. I want a better view of her when she comes. I
need
to see her blue eyes when she falls apart. But she smiles mischievously before turning to straddle me backwards, her hair falling down over her shoulders as she throws her head back and starts riding my cock slowly. I groan, taking her ass in my hands and helping her ride. This view is enough to fucking kill me, watching my dick disappear inside her over and over again. I reach up and grip her hair in my fist, tugging her head back slightly.