Black Rose (15 page)

 “I
can reveal the truth,” the Priestess had informed her. “But there will be a
price.”

“Any
price.”

The
Priestess gave a single nod. “The blood of roses lies within the waves of the
sea.”

Mara
felt her breath caught deep in her throat. “You mean, someone in the Muir
Court…the court by the sea?”

“Of
blood most royal.”

“No.”
The word escaped her lips before she could stop it.

The
Priestess looked at her with great sadness. “Your vengeance will not return her
to you, Princess Mara.”

She
stared at the Priestess for a long time, silently begging for it not to be
true, but knowing such hopes were futile. When she returned to the ancient
castle of the Black Rose, Mara had locked herself in her secluded tower. For
days she sat in the darkened chambers, refusing so much as to light the fire in
the cold chambers. For the first few days, Phillip simply brought Mara bowls of
broth in silence. She never acknowledged his presence, but merely sat upon the
bed, staring at the stone wall. Her expression remained blank, as though her
soul had long abandoned the body which refused to quit breathing. It was a look
that Phillip had seen before and with a chill he realized she had never looked
more like her mother. By the time the fifth day rolled around, Phillip found
himself standing just outside Mara’s door, his heart fearful of every sound,
yet the room beyond the door remained silent. And it frightened him more than
any scream.

It
was on sixth evening that Phillip had come, entering the room quietly with a
cup of warm liquid in his hand. “You need to drink this,” he said softly. From
a seated position on the bed, she had reluctantly taken the cup and forced the
warm liquid down her parched throat. Phillip sat in silence until Mara had
drank the majority of the brew and then took the cup, placing it on the stone
floor to the side of the bed.

“My
Lady,” he said as he slid to one knee. “You do not have to do this. You can let
others take this task.”

“No,”
she replied but her voice lacked all conviction.

“What
can I do?”

“Nothing.
There is nothing that anyone can do.”

“That
is not true though, is it Mara?” She looked at him uncomprehendingly. “My Lady,
I cannot leave you here in this isolation. Nothing in this world terrifies me
more than seeing you so.”

“I
don’t even know what I am. Nothing, I feel nothing.”

“I
know…and it scares me.”

“There
is nothing you can do.”

“Perhaps
not. But there is one who can.”

“No,
he can’t.”

“Mara,
listen to me.”

“No.”

“Mara,
this isolation, this anguish—it killed your mother.”

Mara
stared at Phillip. “What are you saying?”

“You
are suffocating. Locked in your tower unwilling to face the world surrounding
you.” He stared directly into her amethyst eyes. “I know it has been difficult.
I cannot even begin to imagine how difficult.”

“What
do you want from me? What the hell do you want? What more must I give?”

“I
want you to live! I want you to leave the Tower, before its isolation consumes
you completely. I want you to let people into your world, Mara. Please, Mara. I
am trying to help you.”

“You
can’t!” she exclaimed. “Don’t you understand? You cannot help me.”

“Mara.”
He leaned forward, closing the distance between them. 

“Don’t.”
She stood from the bed, moving several paces to her right. “Just don’t.”

“I
know how badly you need Edward,” he stated in a low, strained tone, slowly
rising from his kneeling position. “If I could change that, I would. I would
rip him from your deepest memory and make you forget his very existence.” He
drew a deep breath. “I know you need him, Mara. But he is not here…and I am.”

“So
what?” she asked bitterly.

He
walked forward and turned her back to face him. He reached forward and touched
her cheek before slowly sliding his hand to the back of her neck. She watched
in confusion as he suddenly leaned forward and pressed his lips against her
own. She jerked back, but he kept his hand firmly on her beck, controlling her
until he pulled back.

“How
dare you!” she began when Phillip moved a second hand to her back and pulled
her forward into another controlled kiss. This time when he pulled back, it was
to give her the full weight of his pale eyes. “I will be damned if I am going
to stand here and watch you die.”

“Why?”
she asked, her voice boiling with anger. “Just think, Phillip. Then the Black
Rose would be yours and you could run it however you damn well please.”

Phillip
moved his hand to Mara’s arms and grabbed her just above the wrist. He forcibly
moved her towards the center of the room to a seated position upon the large
bed. “Don’t!” she said again, attempting to twist her arm away from him. He
ignored her protests and knelt in front of her as he kept her on the edge of
the bed, refusing to loosen his grip upon her wrists.

“What
do you need, Mara? Tell me what it is that you need so badly that you lock
yourself away night after night.” She shook her head. “Tell me, Mara.” He made
it a demand. 

“What
do you want?” she all but screamed. “You want me to say that I need him? That I
don’t know how to function, to live, to breathe, without him—fine! I’ll say
it!” Her words began to crumble. “I need him. I love him. But…I can’t have
him.” Her eyes were wide, wild. “What do you want from me?”

“Let
me give you what you need.”

“I
don’t understand.”

“I
will be whatever you need, Mara. Whatever…whoever…you need me to be. Close your
eyes, my Lady. Tell
me
what you would tell
him
.”

           
Fear began to climb along Mara’s spine. “You are asking me to…” She searched
his gaze. “To close my eyes and what? Pretend. Call you by his name and…are you
insane? How could you even propose such a ghastly, such a…” She could not find
the words she reached for.

           
“You need to feel something, Mara. By the Gods above, you need touch and warmth
or you will not survive this. You just learned the identity of Liza’s killer.
Yet, you are numb. Completely numb.”

           
“What should I have done? Yell, scream?”

           
“Yes!  Any, all, just…anything, Mara. Anything.”

           
“No. I cannot…”

           
“Damnit, Mara!”

           
“I can’t! Don’t you see? If I do, it will never stop!”

           
“You are not alone in this,” he said, unknowingly echoing Edward’s broken
promise. “Do you hear me, Mara? You are not alone. You can share this burden
with your guard—with me.”

           
“No more lies!” she yelled bitterly. “He lied, he always lies. I am alone. I
have always been alone.”

           
Phillip leaned forward until all she could see were the blue pools of his eyes.
“But you do not have to be.” She felt his warm breath upon her face. “Not here,
not tonight.” He kissed her and this time, she allowed it, closing her eyes
against the world which sought to break her. He pulled her close, running his
hand gently through her hair in a familiar gesture. “Mara.” He spoke her name
softly. “Let me be what you need,” he whispered as Edward had done so long ago.
“I am here. You are not alone, my Mara. mea rosa immortalis.”

           
His lips claimed hers. She sank into the kiss, refusing to open her eyes as he
slowly pressed her down into the blankets. Her voice rose soft and confused as
the world began to shift. “I don’t…we shouldn’t be…”

           
He pressed a finger lightly against her lips, silencing her protests as his
hand slid down her face. “It is okay, my rose,” Edward’s words washed over her.
“adsum, mea rosa, mi amour.”

           
Time seemed to slip away as the strong hands caressed her, exploring her face
with soft caresses before moving down her throat to reach the top of her black
sweater. He traced the line of the cloth for several moments before reaching
down to touch her breasts through the thick material. She slowly began to give
herself over to the sensations—the simple touch—her body longed for. It has
been so long since he had held her, caressed her; the mere act of being touched
brought fresh tears to her closed eyes.

           
He moved her as he willed, slowly removing her top and pulling it over her head
to expose her flawless skin. “te amo, rosa, mea rosa immortalis,” he whispered
as his hands slid slowly to her breasts, drawing a gasp from her parted lips.
Then he moved lower, sliding his hands completely up and down each of her long,
pale legs before moving his hand between them. Yet it was here at this
unfamiliar touch that Mara’s eyes flew open and she found herself staring not
into Edward’s dark gaze, but into Phillip’s crystal blue.

           
She jerked frantically from the bed, scrambling towards the edge. “What are you
doing?  We were…oh Gods…No.”

           
“Mara,” he said, trying to calm her. “Just listen to me.”

           
“No. No.”  She felt nauseated. The world seemed to spin.

           
“Mara…”

           
“No.” She shook her head, dressing quickly as she scrambled towards the door.

           
“Mara…”

           
“Stay away from me!” She raced forward into the hallways and down the winding
stairwell to the castle floor. When she reached the doors of the ancient keep
she threw them open with such force that they slammed against the stones.

           
“Mara?” Garreth asked from his position on the opposite side.

           
“I have to go,” she stated without so much as glancing in his direction.
“You’re in charge.”

           
“Go? Where are you going?”

           
Mara kept walking straight to the stables. As she entered, she pulled a heavy
wool cloak from a hook at the entrance and wrapped it around her shoulders.
Then she proceeded to her horse, a tall black stallion who she had named Noir.
Without bothering with a saddle, Mara mounted him, gently stroking the horse’s
neck as she led him from the stables.

           
“Mara, what is going on?” Garreth inquired. “What happened?”

           
She shook her head. “I have to go.”

           
“Mara, please.”

She
dug her heels into the side of her horse and rode toward the front gates, which
were opened at the order of their Captain. She raced along the dirt path toward
the distant mountains beyond, memories dancing in the swirling winds
surrounding which refused to be banished. She rode hard and fast until finally
reaching a small spring where she suddenly stopped, giving her horse a much
needed respite from the long run. She laid down in the spring grass and fell
into a deep slumber until morning light, when she rose and again resumed her
journey across the mountains. 

It
took over a week of hard riding before she reached the lush forest she had
known so well as a child, and longer still to reach the palace grounds. Still a
few hours away, she found herself caught in a ferocious downpour, slowing her
ride to a walk as she attempted to maneuver the horse through the pouring rain.
By the time she reached the palace, she was completely drenched. At the sight
of only a single rider, guards opened the gates for her, ushering her in from
the rain.

           
“Greetings,” a man with light brown hair said to her. “What may I do for you,
my Lady? Must be awfully important to be out in this storm.”

           
“Captain Mara?” a blond suddenly spoke from her left. “Mara, is that you?”

           
“Jake?”

           
“By the Gods, it is you.” He turned to the other man. “Let her through, Quinn.
She’s a friend.”

           
Quinn nodded. “I will leave her to you then.”

           
Jake approached her with a large black cloak. “Here,” he said, wrapping it
around her wet shoulders. “Let’s get you inside and into some dry clothes.”

           
“No,” she said. “Take me to Edward. I need to see Edward.”

           
“Yes, I figured as much. I’m guessing you remember the way?”

           
Jake led Mara down a series of winding hallways which were instantly foreign
and familiar at the same time. “Is everything okay?” Jake asked, lengthening
his stride in order to match her determined pace.

           
“I need to see him.” 

When
they reached the doors to the Captain’s chambers, Mara did not pause to knock,
instead throwing open the doors. Edward sat on a small couch on the right side
of the room, staring at a stack of papers on the table before him. A pair of
candles were lit upon the table, providing much needed light, and a warm fire
burned several feet to his left. He glanced up from the papers, startled as the
doors flew open. For a moment he simply stared, a voice in his head questioning
his sanity as he stared at the woman standing in the doorway. Her dark hair was
matted against her face, water streaming steadily from its wet strands. Her wet
clothes clung to her body like a second skin.