Blackbird (6 page)

“You’re not fine. You haven’t been fine all week.
Please tell me what’s wrong,” Dave pleaded.

Claire sighed and turned her body towards him. He
was leaning up on his elbow, looking down at her with a worried expression.

“I don’t even know if I understand it myself.”

“Well maybe if you talk about it, it might start
to make sense.”

Claire sighed. Maybe he was right. “I have this
patient…” She pursed her lips together.
Should she tell him the patient was
Nate?
Would it be lying if she didn’t? Technically it was patient
confidentially so she shouldn’t really say anything. Deciding against it, she
continued. “He came in a couple of weeks ago needing therapy sessions for his
leg to help him learn to walk again. He was a douchebag to begin with, but
after a couple of sessions he appeared to be getting better. His attitude,
although still frustrating as hell sometimes, was improving. He was even doing
well physically, and it was like he wanted to be there. Then one day he came in
and he was different.  He was distant and angry. I thought maybe I was
pushing him too hard. I can’t even begin to imagine the emotions you’d have to
deal with after going through such an ordeal, but then he got too confident. He
tried to walk when he wasn’t ready and hurt himself. He told me he was
finished, like he wasn’t going to come back again, and he hasn’t. It’s been a
week since then.”

 “Maybe he hurt himself when he tried to walk
and wasn’t able to?”

“No, his doctor called the clinic and told us he
was fine to come back to therapy.”

“And you’ve tried contacting him?”

“Yeah I’ve tried calling him, but nothing. I don’t
know what to do…” Claire trailed off.

“Are you likely to forget about it anytime soon?”
Dave questioned.

“I…I don’t think so. I mean… I don’t know. I can’t
just let it go. What happens if he never walks again? Then it’s my fault.”

“His decision to walk again is his Claire, nobody
else’s, not even yours. But it sounds like maybe something else is going on in
his life that might have something to do with it. You said so yourself. He was
different before he hurt himself.”

Claire had never really thought about it like
that. She’d known he was different, but just assumed he was angry at her
because of the accident.

“Maybe you’re right. What should I do?”

Dave smiled and kissed her forehead. “What you do
best. Track him down and find out what his deal is. If I know one thing about
you, it’s that you won’t let go of this until you’ve found closure.”

Dave was right. Dave was always right.

She smiled and kissed him. “You’re right. First
thing tomorrow morning I’m going to find out what’s going on.”

He smiled back at her. “Good. Now that that’s
settled, can we get some sleep?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Claire said turning her body
so her back was pressed up against his chest.

Tomorrow she would find out where he lived. Using
his contact details for personal reasons could get her into serious trouble,
but she had no other option.

Claire smiled to herself as she snuggled into
Dave. Talking to Dave did make her feel better about it. He was great at giving
advice. He was great at a lot of things. He was sweet, caring, kind and loving.
All the things Claire wanted. Dave was the perfect boyfriend.

***

Nate heard a loud knock on his
apartment door.

“Mum, if that’s you, I’m fine, you can leave me
alone now,” he yelled out.

A shaky voice called out, “It’s Claire.
Your, um, physiotherapist.”

Nate froze midway between his chin-ups.
Claire?
How on earth?

“I just want to talk to you, I promise I won’t be
long,” she said through the door.

He continued doing his chin-ups, tossing up
whether to let her in or not. He didn’t really feel like being lectured today,
but he also hadn’t seen anyone apart from his mum and sister for the past week.

“How’d you find out where I lived?”

“I…” He heard a hesitation in her voice. “I found
it in your contact details.

He wasn’t a lawyer or anything, but he knew damn
well she couldn’t use that kind of details about a patient for personal
reasons. She was desperate, desperate to see him.
Interesting.

“Fine, let yourself in,” he called, deciding not
to stop doing chin-ups. He wanted to see the look on her face when she saw him
topless and sweaty.

Nate watched as Claire opened the door quietly and
peered in. Her eyes focused on him instantly, and she
blushed
a beautiful shade of crimson.
Mission accomplished
. He decided to see
how long he could play until she showed her fiery side. He lifted his chin up
to the bar, trying his best to flex every muscle in his body. He kept his eyes
on her, watching her flustered expression turn into a frown. Apparently she
wasn’t in the mood for games.

 “Will you get down and talk to me,” she said
demandingly.

Nate chuckled and slowly let himself down, making
sure he put no pressure on his bad leg. Hopping over to the kitchen bench top,
he grabbed his water and took a swig.

She looked at him, unimpressed. “Can you put a shirt
on please?”

Nate nearly spat out the water in his mouth,
laughing. He lowered the bottle and looked at her intensely. “Why?”

“Because it’s rude to be half
naked in front of guests!”

“You’re not my guest, you’re my therapist.”

Claire growled, “I don’t care what I am. Please
just put a shirt on.”

Nate pouted. “But I’m all sweaty.”

She crossed her arms in front of her.

Oh how I’ve missed that face.

“Does my body bother you, Claire? Does it make you
uncomfortable? Does it make you think naughty, wicked things?” He winked at
her.

“Nate!” Her expression was priceless.
Was that
an
embarrassed
blush or an angry blush?

“Fine,” Nate chuckled, picking up a nearby shirt
and pulling it over his head.

He studied her now, as her body relaxed. She
wasn’t dressed the way he’d normally seen her. She was dressed in a soft,
knee-length strapless dress. The jade colour of the dress drew attention to her
light blue eyes. Her wavy hair hung loosely around her, a small plat clipped to
one side of her head. She looked young, not the serious girl he’d seen so many
times.

“How come you’re not at your placement?” he asked.

“I left early,” she said quietly, still staring at
him. He watched her fidget with the straps on her handbag. “Why haven’t you
come back to your sessions? The doctor said you were cleared to come back.”

He had known this was coming. She just didn’t get
the hint.

“I’m not coming back. I told you that,” he replied
heavily.

“But why?
I need to know
why?”

“Why, Claire?” He moved closer to her, his voice
growing angry. “Why the hell do you need to know why I don’t want to come
back?”

“People don’t just quit like that for no reason,
Nate. Why won’t you come back?”

“Because I don’t want to!”

“I can help you, Nate. I can get you walking
again. You just have to trust me.”

“Trust you?” Nate coughed. “Why would I trust you?
You don’t know anything about me!”

Claire stepped forward, her back straightened,
showing her confidence. “I know enough to know that I’m not the only reason you
won’t come back to therapy,” she said quietly.

“Get out.”

She stood her ground. “I’m not leaving.”

Nate grabbed both of her shoulders and pulled her
closer. Staring down at her he whispered harshly, “Stop trying to save me. I’m
not yours to save.”

Her lip quivered. “What happened? What happened to
you to make you so angry at the world?” she said softly.

“You really want to know?” Nate leaned down, their
noses nearly touching.

He could feel the sexual energy around them.
The anger.
The desire.

Is this what she wanted?
Wanted
to see him for his weakness.
Take him apart inch by inch, trying to
figure out why he was the way he was.

“Yes. Tell me, Nate. It might make you feel better
if you talk about it.”

“Ha!” Nate let her go and grabbed his crutches.
Placing them under his arms, he walked into the lounge room.

“Nate,” Claire pleaded.

Nate turned to her. “What the fuck would you know
about anything? What would you know about pain? Everyday wishing you could turn
back time and change it. The never ending pain you feel from the emptiness…
Knowing I was the reason he died.”

He tensed his jaw. He was not about to cry like a
fucking child. “Every day I hate myself for what I did. Hate myself for who I
am. If I hadn’t of been so stupid  and stayed up late I wouldn’t have
forgotten my text book for
uni
and my dad wouldn’t
have gotten in the car that day to bring it to me. I killed him.” Nate fell to
the ground, dropping his crutches.

He cried now, harder than he’d ever cried before.
Everything had built up inside him, and now it all came apart in that moment.

He was only somewhat aware of Claire’s arms around
him, comforting the crying mess he’d become.

“I’m sorry, Nate,” she whispered into his ear. “I
really am.”

She sounded sincere, and now he felt like a dick.
He shouldn’t have accused her of not knowing pain. He shouldn’t have accused
her of anything. For all he knew she might have also lost someone close to her.

Nate gently pushed himself out of her grip and
grabbed his crutches. “Just give me a minute,” he said.

“Sure. Take as long as you need.”

He didn’t dare look her in the eye, he couldn’t.
So he walked away from her and into his bedroom, closing the door behind him.
He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes.
What was she doing to him?

When Nate awoke hours later, he
expected Claire to be gone. Instead Nate walked out of his room to find Claire
standing by the stove cooking.

Nate moaned, “
Mmmm
you
read my mind. Bacon and eggs,” he said, the smell filling the air around him.

Claire turned quickly, startled. “Shit, Nate! You
scared the shit out of me!”

He chuckled. “I thought you’d be long gone by
now.”

Claire turned back to the fry pan, flipping the
eggs. “Well I thought about cleaning this filth you call a home.” She motioned
the spatula around the house. “Your landlord would kill you if he saw this.”

“Thankfully I don’t have a landlord. I own this
place outright.”

Claire looked at him astonished. “Oh…”

“I inherited it after my dad died. Mum wanted me
to have it,” he said, leaning his crutches on the bench and sitting on the
stool, resting his arms on the bench. “So why didn’t you clean if it disgusted
you so much?’

She smiled and turned back to the fry pan, picking
up the eggs and flipping them onto the nearby plate. “Well I started in the
guest bedroom, but by the time I got to your bathroom I thought it probably
wasn’t a good idea in case I saw something you didn’t want me to see,” she said
casually.

He laughed thinking about how different she was
than any other girl he’d met.
“How considerate of you.”

“Yeah well, it took everything in me not to. It’s
pretty gross.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

She rolled her eyes and placed the plate full of
food in front of him. Nate’s stomach growled. Grabbing the nearby knife and
fork he started devouring the delicious food. After a few mouthfuls, he stopped
and looked up at Claire, who seemed content in watching him eat.

 “About earlier-” Nate started.

Claire waved her hand. “
Shh
,
it’s neither here nor there.”

He breathed a sigh of relief. He really didn’t
want to explain what had happened earlier. He wasn’t even comfortable thinking
about it.
A moment of weakness on his part.

“So what happens now?” he asked her, taking
another bite of his food.

“Well… right now you’re going to eat this
exquisite meal I prepared for you, and tomorrow you’re coming back to therapy
with me.” She smiled cheerfully.

“And why would I want to do that?”

“Because I need you to.”

Nate’s eyebrows rose.
She needed him?

“I need it for my clinical placement. It’s my last
assessment for
uni
and I really want it to be
perfect,” she quickly said.

Oh, how could he forget? It wasn’t about him. She
needed him for her practical work, not because she cared for him. Not that he
cared anyway, right?

“What’s in it for me?”

Claire choked. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“How about the ability to walk again?” she
retorted.

If he was going to do this, he was going to milk
it for everything he had.

“Fair enough.”

She smiled at him in satisfaction and took a sip
of her juice.

“But I want to go on a date with you,” Nate said,
pleased with himself when she spat the juice from her mouth in shock.

“What?!”

“You heard me,” he smirked.

Claire shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s not much to understand. I want to date
you.
Provided you get me walking again by the end of your
placement.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

Nate rolled his eyes. He was well aware she had a
boyfriend, yet he found it amusing that she still needed to remind him. “I know
that. I’m saying I’ll learn to walk for your clinical placement and in return
we’ll go on a date.”

“Like a bet? But you get to get the ability to
walk again?”

Nate took his last mouthful of food, placed his
knife and fork neatly together and pushed the plate aside. “That’s my offer.
Take it or leave it.”