BlackJack (A Standish Bay Romance Book 1) (23 page)

Shannon’s
throat burned, and her lungs ached as she tried to breathe. Hearing him like
this tortured her to no end. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and take
his pain and anguish away. But even if she could take it away for a time, he
would eventually have to face it and go on. She could be a much needed salve
for his hurt, but it would only be temporary.

“What happens
now?” she asked.

“I’m sorry I
can’t come to you today. I know you’re frantic with worry about Cameron and so
am I, but I owe it to AJ and his family to accompany his body to Scotland and
see him buried. It won’t be for several days, until the autopsy report is
complete and they release his body. Meanwhile I’m staying here.” His voice
sounded hollow, defeated and foreign to her ears. “My lawyer’s trying to speed
up the legal paper work involved in clearing my name so I can get a passport.
I’m not sending AJ home alone. I was not able to attend Lindsey’s service, and
it’s something that will always plague me, but I’ll be damned if I’ll miss AJ’s
as well. We’re all going. The whole band, that is.” He paused and drew air. “I’d
ask you to come, but I know you can’t. Your responsibility is to your son.” He
cleared his throat. “Any news?” he asked.

She told him
what she knew. “I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high, but I can’t help it.
I just want him home so I can hold him again, touch him again, and tell him I
love him.”

She sniffled
and coughed. “In my heart I know it will be okay. But my imaginative mind is wreaking
havoc on me, tormenting me, haunting me.”

“He’ll be fine.
He’s smart and resourceful. He’ll come home soon,” Cole said with more emotion
in his voice than she’d heard during the whole depressing conversation.

Shannon hoped
there was truth in his words. All she had left was hope and faith. “You were
something else on the Marlene Simpson show. You handled yourself incredibly, so
professional and suave, and then I heard the news...”

“Great timing,
huh?” he interrupted. “I’m glad I did it and Marlene is quite a lady. I have
great respect for her. She’s a woman of her word.”

“Will you be
coming right back after the burial?” Something inside her panicked as she
waited for his answer. Waited to hear if her heart, her future and her
happiness were at stake.

“I don’t know
what I’m doing. I can’t think beyond burying AJ. Elizabeth might need me. Although
I doubt it with her family nearby, not to mention I’m a stranger to her.”

“I need you,”
she choked out, and her heart lodged up into her throat as she waited through
the silence.

“God, I need
you too,” he groaned out. “I miss you. I can’t wait to see you, hold you and
know you’re real. You’re the one real thing woven into my unreal world. I’ll
call every day and promise me you’ll be okay. I’m so worried about you and Cameron.
I wish I could make it all better. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s
we’re all just passengers in this thing called life. Our destinies are
predetermined. And if God has any love or compassion in him at all, you and I
are each other’s destiny. We’ll be together and soon.”

Shannon
couldn’t contain her tears or her sobs any longer. When she was able to trust
herself to speak again, she said, “When did you become so wise?”

He snorted. “I’m
not really wise, just trying to be a realist. And don’t forget I’m good with
words and expressing my feelings through them. It’s about the only way I know
how.”

“That’s not
true,” she said, lightening the mood. “I seem to recall spending two days with
you. Two wonderful days spent together and you expressed yourself in many other
ways. Good ways.” She paused and sighed as she remembered the feel of him
against her body, inside her. “I miss you. It seems forever since I’ve seen
you.”

“Shit. I don’t
want to go. Promise me you’ll never doubt my love for you?”

“I’ll try and don’t
ever doubt mine for you,” she cried into the phone then disconnected.

A long time
passed before she felt composed enough to look at her brother who had just
re-entered the room. Always a gentleman, her brother. Leaving the room to give
her privacy. If that Texas lady knew what was good for her, she had better
reach out and hold tight to him. He was rare, as rare a man as her Cole.

Once she calmed
down, she punched in the number for Kevin English. She hadn’t spoken with him
in a couple of days, and she needed to bring him up to speed on Cameron.

“Kevin
English.”

“K ... Kevin,
hi, it’s me.”

“Shannon, how
are you?”

Shannon took a
deep breath and fought the tears stinging her eyes. She would not cry into the
phone. She’d just cried into Cole’s ear and enough. “I’ve been better, but I do
have some new developments on Cameron.” She proceeded to tell Kevin all about
them.

“Like I said
before, if you need me, I’m here. Just say the word, and I’m on the next plane
out,” Kevin replied with his gentle, soothing voice.

“No. Stay where
you are. There really isn’t anything you can do here. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Okay, sweetie,
anything you say. Love you and try not to agonize over this too much.”

Shannon snorted
into the phone. “Yeah, I’ll try. Bye. Love you too.”

***

For the second
morning in a row, Cameron woke up naked in bed with an equally naked Amber. Only
today they were checking out and hoping to hitch a ride to the nearest bus
station and purchase tickets to continue on to California. He had to keep focusing
on California because if he didn’t, homesickness took over in suffocating waves.
He missed his mom, and if he wanted to be honest, he also missed his dad.

He and his dad
had said some awful, hurtful things to one another, and since Cameron hadn’t meant
anything he said perhaps the same thing pertained to what his dad said to him.

He also missed
Matt, Heather and Taylor and Cheryl as well. But most of all he missed his mom.
She was all alone without him, and he felt terrible having left her. What must
she be feeling? Awful he imagined. And today his heart lay heavy with longing
for everything familiar, even school. He missed school and his friends. He
missed the ocean, the smell of saltwater and the feel of the sand between his
toes. He wanted to hear the sounds of the waves crashing on the beach late at
night from his bed.

But most of
all, he felt guilty for what his running away was probably doing to everyone. Maybe
he should go back and convince Amber to return as well. He imagined her dad was
franticly missing her, especially since her mother had died not long ago.

They could see
each other when he got his license. He could drive to Newport. It only took a
little over an hour to get there. Heck that was nothing. Put some good tunes on
the stereo and off he’d go. A little Jason Aldean, some Eric Church and, of
course, a little rock and roll from BlackJack and he’d be good to go for miles
upon miles.

His mind was
made up, and he knew what he had to do. He had to convince Amber because if he
couldn’t convince her to go with him, he’d be dammed if he’d let her travel
alone. So if he wanted to go home, he’d have to be extremely persuasive.

Cameron rolled
onto his side, resting up on one elbow as he faced her, and his stomach took a
tumble. He was going to miss waking up with her. And the sex, hell, he was
going to miss that too.

Maybe he’d get
himself a girlfriend when he got home. Perhaps Lacey Paranello would be his
girlfriend. She was in some of his classes and she was hot. There was, however,
one major problem. Lacey didn’t know he existed, never mind the fact that she
dated a senior and not just any senior, the captain of the hockey team, and
everyone knew he was destined to go pro after playing for a division one
college. Hell, he’d probably suit up in maroon and gold and play for the Boston
College Eagles or maybe red and white for the Boston University Terriers, or
even the Northeastern Huskies. One of the bean pot teams would probably recruit
him, they would be crazy not to and when they did, what would Lacey see in him?
Her boyfriend would be heading to play hockey for a division one school and
what would he be doing? Still be in high school. Oh well, if Lacey wasn’t
interested there were other fine girls in school besides her. The problem was
he’d wanted Lacey since seventh grade.

He focused back
on Amber. Too bad she didn’t go to his school. They would have each other. He
reached out and combed his fingers through her soft hair, her thick, long and
exotically dark hair. He tried to picture her as a natural blonde, which she
was, and he knew she would be even prettier as a blonde. She had taken all the
rings out of her nose and eyebrows, all that was left pierced were several in
each ear and her belly button. And Cameron had to admit the belly button being
pierced and sporting a silver rod was sexy as hell. If he hadn’t already been
sporting a bona, he would have then.

She fluttered
her eyes open and slowly smiled at him.

“Morning,” he
murmured.

She stretched
and curled into him. “Morning yourself. What time do we have to check out?”

“Not for a
couple of hours,” he replied.

She smiled a
smile Cameron was beginning to know well. It was shy, sexy and sweet, but it
meant she wanted sex and his body hardened even more just watching that smile
cross her lips.

A little while
later as they lay on the bed sweating and breathing heavily, Cameron decided to
go for it and tell her his plan. She let him speak his mind without
interrupting, but he knew she wasn’t keen on the idea of going home.

“I’m not going
back, you can if you want,” she stated like it was no big deal. “I’ll be fine,
but I can’t go home, not yet anyway.”

“Why not,” he
countered.

Amber sat up
and hugged her knees to herself. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to. My dad
probably doesn’t even know I’m gone.”

Cameron saw the
tears pooling in her eyes, and he knew she missed home as much as he did, but
she was one stubborn girl. “I’m sure your dad knows you’re gone, and I bet he’s
worried sick. He’s probably out looking for you right now.”

She glanced at
him, her lips quivering and tears in her sad, but hopeful eyes, and he knew he
had her. He only hoped her dad really did miss her so she didn’t just run away
again. “Please go back with me?” Cameron pleaded, his voice vibrating and his
eyes beginning to tear.

“Okay.”

He hugged her
close. “Good. Let’s get going. We need to hitch a ride to the nearest bus
station.”

Thirty minutes
later they were out on the street with all their gear and Amber had her thumb
out whenever a car or truck went by, which wasn’t often. Finally a trucker
driving an eighteen wheeler pulled over. “Where ya’ll going?” asked the large,
bald man with a southern drawl and a warm smile.

“The bus
station,” replied Amber.

“Hop in. I’ll
give you a lift.”

He seemed
friendly enough Cameron thought as the man drove and talked and he and Amber
mostly listened. They pulled onto a highway crowded with truckers hauling
everything from livestock to humongous logs. Welcome to the Midwest.

Even though the
man had seemed nice, Cameron felt instant relief when they arrived at the bus
station. Unfortunately they had to wait until six that night for a bus. Cameron
purchased their tickets. He figured it was because he was sick that they got
off the bus in the first place, so he owed her.

They sat on the
cleanest bench they could find and snacked on food from the vending machines
and watched the one grimy television in the station. They were watching some
game show when a news reporter interrupted and Cameron sat, frozen, his heart
lodged in his throat.

He couldn’t
believe what he was hearing or seeing. There were three pictures on the screen,
AJ, Cole and someone he presumed to be Cole’s dead wife.

AJ was dead. He
committed suicide. He killed Lindsey.

“Hey, isn’t
that members of BlackJack?” Amber asked, pointing to the television.

Cameron
swallowed and cleared his suddenly dry and burning throat. “Yeah.”

“How awful.”

“Yeah.” What
else could he say? And now more than ever he was glad he was going back home. Six
o’clock couldn’t come fast enough.

They boarded
the bus, sitting in the back. It was nearly empty. Cameron hadn’t played his
guitar in several days and he craved it. He wanted to play in tribute to AJ
because if it wasn’t for him, he never would’ve played at the Garden with them,
nor would his mom have met Cole.

He played as
quietly as possible so no one would complain. He played every BlackJack song he
could remember. Amber’s eyes fluttered closed beside him, but he didn’t think
she was sleeping. She was chilling out to his music so he continued playing. He
even played the new stuff he and Cole wrote together.

By the time darkness
descended all around them, Cameron looked out the window and saw fog so thick
he contemplated how the driver could see anything in the blanket surrounding
them. He went back to playing. It helped pass the time, playing always made him
feel better. He played his heart and soul out on his guitar, and when his
fingers were numb and his arms ached, he continued to play. Much later, he put
his guitar back into its case, put his arm around Amber’s shoulders, pulling
her close, and drifted off to sleep. Sleep plagued with visions of AJ and Cole
and his mom. His dreams replayed the day they all met, the day he played at the
Garden, one of the best days of his life.

Something, a
noise, a screeching, metal against metal, struggled to pull him out of his
dream. Yelling and screaming and someone shaking him pulled him out completely.

“Cameron, we’re
crashing,” Amber screamed in complete terror.

Next thing he
knew he was propelled into the seat in front of him then he was flying toward
the opposite side of the bus. He saw, or at least he thought he saw, Amber’s
head crash into the window. He tried crawling toward her, but the bus was
sliding on its side. The noise was deafening, it sounded as though a freight
train screamed through his head. Sparks flew everywhere, and when the bus
finally stopped moving, pain exploded throughout his body. All around him
people were crying and he thought of Amber. He struggled to get up but
something heavy had him pinned down. Black swirls blurred his eyes and the
world tilted. He closed his eyes shut, trying to fight the inevitable pull into
darkness. His heart slowed and parts of his life flashed before his eyes. Was
he dying? He didn’t think so, but still he didn’t feel quite right either. He
was tired and weak and he could feel himself fading, so he prayed to God
because he didn’t want to die, not now.