Blackness Within (33 page)

“Brian,” Kieran warns.

I ignore him.

Vojtech reaches in his suit jacket pocket, Connor and Owen have the barrels of their guns smashed to either side of his head before he retrieves whatever he’s going for.

“Easy,” he says with his free hand indicating the movement is harmless.

Owen and Connor don’t move.

Vojtech pulls his phone from his pocket, swipes the screen and faces it toward me. The picture staring back at me steals my breath and forces puke up my throat.

Natasha is laying in a bed with Junior cradled to her chest, a lazy smile on her lips. Her grey eyes have a satisfied glow about them that cuts me to the quick. The worst thing glaring at me is the massive rock on her ring finger. The shine bouncing off it is blinding.

I launch. I smash his face in with my fists, driving him to the concrete floor. Settling on his chest, I pound with every ounce of strength I possess. His blood spatters my skin as I work him over, roaring like a feral animal.

My body is eventually ripped off Vojtech’s even though I struggle mightily to get back to him. He never fought back. He took the beating. I don’t understand the play, but I’m clear it was a play.

“I’ve got you,” Kav whispers in my ear as his python arms hold me in place.

I stop lunging but remain rigid as Vojtech’s men help his battered body from the floor. He’s chuckling as he spits blood on the concrete, swiping his face.

“If that’s all you’re willing to give in order to have her, you don’t deserve her,” he informs me callously.

“Get the fuck outta my place. This was a move of disrespect and if you’re not careful, it’ll become a missin’ person’s case. You come at me or mine again and I’ll finish what he started,” Kieran rumbles, leaning into Vojtech’s face.

“This isn’t about you Kieran. I have no issue with you. I told you when you were escorted from my place that I wouldn’t hold it against you. You and your crew are intact so I kept my word. So understand this. If your fighter comes after Natasha, I’m coming for him and you. Keep him in line,” Vojtech orders.

“You got fuckin’ balls,” Kieran laughs in his face before cocking back and leveling him. If it weren’t for his men holding him up, Vojtech would hit the floor like a ton of bricks. The fist that ended Vojtech flicks toward the door before Kieran roars, “Get out!”

Connor and Owen force the men dragging an unconscious Vojtech to move faster with their guns at the ready. I watch his limp body until I can no longer see it. The room is almost completely empty at this point. I don’t know where the crowd went, but they’re gone.

Kieran pulls his phone from his jeans and starts barking in it before climbing the metal stairs to his office. Ian leads me to a training room to clean me up.

“What the fuck was that move?” Kav asks as I settle on a training table.

Ian works on my jacked knuckles as Kav and Cal wait behind him, my brothers hovering near the door trying to figure out what just happened.

“No fuckin’ clue,” I huff.

And I don’t. Coming into enemy territory to start shit with Kieran and me doesn’t make any sense. It seems reckless, which lets me know it was carefully planned. I wish I could figure out that plan.

“He wanted to see your reaction,” Ian informs the room, squinting through glasses perched on the end of his nose as he tends to my wounds.

“Why?”

“He needs to know how invested you are. How much protection your girl needs.”

“Shit,” Cal grunts.

“Did the right thing. He needs to know you’re hangin’ around. It’ll keep him focused on you. When he’s distracted with that, you’ll find a hole,” Ian assures me.

I nod as he finishes pressing a butterfly strip to the bridge of my nose.

I hope Ian’s right. I wasn’t thinking in the moment, only reacting. If it was the correct move, why does my gut tell me I just fucked up? There’s a sense of impending doom creeping up my spine as Kav and Cal stand against another table wordlessly having the same conversation I am. My brothers wait for me to explain. What can I tell them? The truth. I tell them the truth and after a lot of cussing and snarling, they come to the same conclusion I have.

This is bad. Very bad.

Natasha

I wake up feeling slightly confused. I have a brief memory of Ivan sleeping on my chest and Roman waking me up for a picture, but it’s strange and disconnected.

I sit up and stretch my arms above my head before turning to see the clock reading 8:19 a.m. The bed is empty and Ivan is sleeping deeply in another bedroom on the other side of Roman’s suite. I have a camera monitor to check on him.

Where’s Roman?

He’s been out on business at night before, but he’s always in bed with me by morning. Something’s wrong. I can feel it as my feet hit the floor. I wrap my terry cloth robe around me and quickly pad into the living space.

Roman is sitting on the couch with Igor when I enter the room.

“Roman?” I question with concern as I approach their backs.

He says something to Igor before both men climb to their feet. Igor leaves the room and then Roman turns to face me.

“What happened?” I gasp as I look at him.

He’s bruised and battered in a way that I didn’t think I’d ever see Roman. If someone can hurt Roman like this, what does that mean for me? I didn’t think anyone in the Midwest carried the power Roman does. I’m panicking as I move to him.

His nose has been reset and his eyes are bruised and swollen along with his jaw. His bottom lip is split with a scab running up the natural crease in the middle.

When I reach Roman, I begin examining him. I’m still a nurse. I press around his face, feeling for any broken bones. I don’t find any. I pull his shirt up and inspect his winged ribs. I move around his back and do the same thing. I find a few bruises before I run my hand over his head. There’s a small bump at the back of his skull.

“Roman,” I urge him to speak to me as I round his body.

“You call out his name in your sleep,” he whispers.

I lock my eyes with his midnight gaze and immediately know what he’s talking about.

“Did you kill him?” I ask softly and brace myself for the answer I’m certain is coming.

“If I did?” he questions with a test forming in his marred features.

“I’d like to know. I just want to know if he’s dead, Roman.” I keep my request meek.

He’s studying me, waiting for something. If he tells me Sully’s dead and he killed him, I don’t know what I’ll do. I can’t even bring myself to consider it. If Sully’s dead, the only place he’ll continue to live is within my dreams. I’ll never feel his warm mouth on mine, his strong arms cradling me softly, his cocky grin irritating me and his presence bringing me true comfort.

“I met with him to see what his intentions were with you. He informed me you weren’t worth the hassle. I didn’t take kindly to that and we had an altercation. He was alive when I left,” Roman assures me.

I feel the breath whoosh from my chest as Roman speaks. I’m not worth the hassle?

I’m not worth the hassle.

I can’t form any words or thoughts. So I stand and stare blankly at the dragon.

“I can tell this information upsets you, Natasha. I’m uncertain what you expected from a man like that. He has a very full social calendar along with his roommates. Is he who you really want to be with?”

As Roman asks the question, I meet his gaze again. He’s not offering to let me go to Sully. He’s questioning my self-worth. It’s funny that a man that kidnapped me and basically forced me to be at his side is questioning that, but I don’t laugh. I’d like to though. I’d love to laugh in his face.

But he’s here with me. He fought Sully for me. I may not like the way I came into Roman’s life, but I’m in it all the same. He wants me. He’s willing to fight for me. The only person that’s ever fought for me is Blake. Sully fought once and decided I wasn’t worth more. Maybe Roman can be that for me now, the fighter in my life.

I push the last image of tender chocolate eyes from my mind and wrap my arms around Roman’s middle. I push up onto my tiptoes and kiss his jaw before murmuring against his stubble, “I only want to be with you.”

His sinewy arms wrap around my body to pull me flush with him. I lay my head against his chest and listen to the steady thrum of his heart.

“That’s good because you’re all I want,” he mumbles into my hair.

A shiver drifts down my body at his declaration. I wish that made me feel as good as it should, but it doesn’t. It feels half-full at best. My life is half-full though so I’m not surprised. This is my reality. I have to find happiness when I can and this should be a happy moment. My man fought for me and is telling me I’m all he wants. This is a good moment.

“Can I get you anything?” I ask, pulling free from his embrace.

“Take me to bed,” he purrs.

I do as I’m told. Once we’re both naked and under the duvet, Roman positions me mostly on his chest. He traces circles on my hip and interlaces our fingers before pulling my knuckles to his mouth. He kisses them softly before asking me, “Do you remember me taking your picture?”

“Barely. You know I sleep like the dead,” I mumble back, beginning to fall asleep again.

“I know.”

“Did it turnout good?”

“It turned out perfectly,” he says with happiness in his voice.

I hold onto that sound as I fall into a dreamless sleep. I hope I never dream of Sully again. The knowledge that I’m not worth anything to him ends the longing almost instantly. I’m not hurt like I thought I would be. I’m destroyed. I’m an idiot for craving someone that made it clear from the beginning that was a mistake. Sully warned me what he was and I knew it the day I walked away from him. I was holding onto something that wasn’t real. It was a dream and I don’t have any room for dreams in my life anymore. I have to cling to my reality, even if it’s a fire-breathing dragon that could destroy me without thought.

Late May

“Good morning,” Roman rumbles into my neck.

“Morning,” I return through a small smile as he begins to nibble and lick my skin.

I rub my ass against his morning wood and draw in a hissed breath as his fingers tug and roll my nipples. He guides me to my stomach before covering my body with his. Roman’s hot mouth sears its way down my spine causing me to arch and moan. His fingers interlace with mine next to my head, holding me in place.

He moves his lips and teeth over every surface of my back, tantalizing my flesh. I’m covered in goosebumps and beginning to sweat all at the same time from his slow, deliberate exploration. Keeping our hands intertwined, he slides them beneath my chest and hoists me up onto my knees. I settle back on his lap, my legs on the outside of his.

Roman releases my hands and begins to run one up my throat as the other descends my belly. That hand pauses over my womb while the hand at my throat pulls my neck back for Roman to feast just below my ear. Intimate.

“Do you think our child is growing here?” he purrs in my ear, drawing small circles over my stomach.

I shudder at the contact and the question. Roman’s been trying to get me pregnant for two months. He buys tests and waits outside the bathroom while I take them. Every time they’re negative, he’s genuinely disappointed. That disappointment is driving him to complete his task with more determination. We have sex a few times a day. I’m shocked I’m not pregnant yet. I’m actually becoming concerned that I’m not. I’ve never had any reproductive issues. I’m healthy and at an appropriate age to conceive. Roman’s already had one child so I know he doesn’t have any issues. Something is wrong here and I’m guessing it’s me.

“I hope so,” I murmur back.

I’ve become terrified that if I can’t give Roman a child he’ll discard me. Actually, I’ve become fearful of that with every facet in our life together. Roman’s all I have left and I’m petrified what will happen to me if he leaves me. I’m weak, powerless in life and completely dependent on a man. Roman owns me mind, body and soul. I’m the woman I spent my life judging and despising. Karma has kicked my ass.

I rock my hips back just as Roman palms his dick to enter me. As I sink all the way down on him, Roman leans us forward. Taking me from behind is a rarity for him. I’m always beneath him, clinging to him as I tumble through orgasms.