Blame it on Texas (21 page)

So what did she do now?

She had to get out of Logan's apartment as quickly as possible. What she did after that depended on what Logan decided. If he stayed in Morris Springs, she would find another place to live, another small town where she could put down roots. If he moved back to Dallas, then she'd come back here and find a place to live. She was sure if he left Morris Springs, he'd never return.

But first she had to get out of that apartment.

Spurred into action by that thought, she went back into the kitchen. She tapped Nancy on the shoulder and willed her face to stay composed, her voice level in spite of the unshed tears that tried to choke her, and said, "I'm ready to go home anytime you are."

Nancy cocked her head and lifted one waxed eyebrow, but she didn't say a word. Jean started to say something, then winced. She glared at Nancy but kept her mouth closed.

Carol looked confused for a moment, then said, "Are you sure you need to leave so soon? You're more than welcome to stay here as long as you like. You know that, don't you?"

"Yes, I know. And I appreciate it. But as Nancy said, she and Jean have jobs they need to get back to, and I need to find one. And we need to move out of Logan's apartment so he'll have a place to stay if he decides to go back."

Carol stood and came around the table to give her a hug. "I've enjoyed having you here so much. Please don't lose touch. I'll be here for at least another week or two, so call me and let me know where you end up."

"If you don't mind, I think we'll pack and head back now. That way we can get to Dallas by dark." She hugged Carol again. "I'll keep in touch, I promise." She hugged Katie, gave Blue one last scratch behind the ears, and shook hands with Jake. Then, before Carol could say anything else, Megan turned and left the kitchen, Nancy and Jean close on her heels.

She knew she'd have a lot of explaining to do when they got in the car, but at least her friends didn't press her for answers she didn't have at the moment.

And how did you explain a broken heart in the first place?

Darn it! When had Logan managed to steal her heart? She'd thought she'd kept it well guarded. But somehow he'd crept past her defenses, past her better judgment, and had taken up residence where he wasn't wanted--in a heart that had no more room for his plans and schemes.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Megan waited while Jean and Nancy discussed whether or not to rent the apartment they'd just looked at. She refused to give her opinion because she knew she wouldn't live there long. It was small, only two bedrooms, but it was off the street, over a garage in a nice area of town. Best of all, they could move in right away.

"We'll take it." Jean smiled at the elderly woman, now their new landlady.

"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" Nancy asked Megan for the third time. "It's fine with me, but I still think you should tell Logan we're moving out."

Megan shook her head and stared out the window. "Carol will tell him. She said he'd signed the farm over to her and will be home by next week. I want to be gone before he returns."

Jean put her signature on the bottom of the paper and handed the pen to Nancy. "I sure hope you know what you're doing."

Megan murmured, "So do I."

***

Logan knocked on the door of the apartment, hoping Megan might still be there. Hoping she hadn't found another place to live yet. When no one answered, he took his keys out of his pocket and opened the door. Katie brushed past him and went inside, her chin in the air, reminding him of Megan.

He sighed and closed the door behind him. Everything looked just like he'd left it. He knew immediately that Megan and her friends had moved out. There was nothing left to indicate they'd ever lived there at all.

He still didn't understand why she'd left without telling him goodbye. He thought they'd grown close enough that she would care about his feelings. Her leaving had hurt, but he hadn't expected to miss her so much.

It went beyond disappointment. His chest hurt when he thought about her. His head ached from trying to figure out what he'd done to make her leave. His stomach hurt when he wondered if he'd ever see her again.

As he watched Katie stare mournfully out of the window, he decided he needed to concentrate on his relationship with his daughter first. Everything else would have to wait. The custody hearing was fast approaching and Sue Ann's lawyer was pulling every dirty trick she could think of.

"Katie, I want you to come sit down. We need to talk."

She continued to stare out the window as though he didn't exist.

"Katherine Elizabeth Tanner, get over here right now!" Darn it! Now she had him so frustrated he was yelling, and that would get them nowhere.

To his surprise, Katie walked across the room and sat stiffly on the couch, her hands folded in her lap, a sullen look on her face.

Logan sat on the coffee table in front of her and took one of her hands in his. She yanked it back. "Talk to me, Katydid. I know you're angry with me, but I love you and I want to set things right."

She maintained her stiff posture, but he could see tears gathering in her eyes.

"You know I wouldn't purposely hurt you for anything in the world. But you have to talk to me, tell me what you need."

Katie sniffed and wiped her nose on her shirt sleeve. The tears began to fall and she wiped them away until there were so many she couldn't stop the flow. Then she fell into his arms and cried, her sobs breaking his heart.

"Shhh. It's okay. Tell me what's wrong. I'll fix it, whatever it takes."

"I want Megan. I want Blue back. I want to live on Grampa's farm," she cried, her voice catching between broken sentences."

Oh, God. The three things he couldn't give her. He'd signed the farm over to Carol, given Blue to Jake, and he had no idea where to find Megan. And though he'd always tried to fix things for the ones he loved, this time he had no idea how to make it right.

***

"Are you sure Logan doesn't know about this?" Megan sat in a red leather wing chair next to Carol in the title company's conference room.

"He never asked who I sold the farm to. I offered to give him half of the money, but he refused to take it. He sounded a little strange when I told him, though, like he might regret giving it up, after all."

Megan leaned forward and caught Carol's gaze. "You know I'd sell it back to you at any time, right? Or to Logan if he changes his mind. I can find another place to live, but the farm is your inheritance."

Carol nodded and put a hand on Megan's. "I know. And I appreciate it. But it's yours now. I don't ever want you to feel like it isn't really your home."

Megan grinned and hugged Carol. "I can't believe it's almost mine. And you can come stay with me anytime you want to."

"I'd be careful extending an invitation like that. If taking care of Logan and Katie gets to be too much, I may take you up on it." Carol's dark eyes clouded. "I can't believe Sue Ann made the kind of accusations she did against Logan. If I hadn't agreed to move in with him and Katie, his chances of getting custody wouldn't be good."

Guilt, ugly and choking, threatened to steal Megan's joy over the purchase of the farm. She could have made things easier for everyone if she hadn't run away, if she'd stayed and agreed to Logan's plan for a sham marriage. But for the first time in her life, she'd put her own needs and dreams first.

When she married, it would be for love. Nothing less.

If it wasn't with Logan, then there would be someone else. She had to believe that or the pain would knock her down until she couldn't get up again. "What happened with you and Jake?  I thought for a while that we might be hearing wedding bells soon."

Carol bit her lip and looked at her clasped hands. "No. I couldn't be in two places at once and Logan needed me. Jake didn't understand why I couldn't say no."

"Can't you come back once Logan has full custody? Maybe you and Jake can pick up where you left off."

Carol shook her head, sadness clouding her eyes. "I don't think so. He was engaged once before and the woman left him to pursue an acting career. He doesn't think it's possible to be committed to someone and still have wants and needs and dreams of your own. What he wants is a perfect little ranch wife who will cook his meals and clean up after him, and be there every night when he comes home."

"What about you? What do you want?" Megan asked gently.

Carol bit her lip and didn't answer. Before Megan could press her further, the title clerk walked in with a stack of papers in one hand and a smile on his face.

He shook Megan's hand and said, "That's it. It's all yours."

***

Before he knew it, Logan had returned to his old routine of working late at the office, then burying himself in more work when he finally got home late at night. Thank goodness Carol had agreed to live with him and take care of Katie. At least he didn't have to worry about his daughter staying alone after dark.

The tension in the apartment was thick and heavy at times, and he was aware that neither Katie nor Carol was truly happy. He'd hoped they would adjust to the change in lifestyle, but every day his daughter seemed less active, less animated. And every day Carol seemed to go through the motions of living, with none of the joy he'd seen in Morris Springs.

Katie was watching television and studiously ignoring him, so Logan walked into the kitchen where Carol was washing dishes. He picked up a dishtowel and dried a cup, rubbing absently as he thought about how to fix their current dilemma. "You're leaving in the morning, right? And you'll be home by Tuesday night?"

Carol nodded and rinsed a plate under the spray of water before she handed it to him to dry. "I think I can pack up all of Dad's things in three days. What I don't think you or Katie might want, I'll give away. Then you and Katie can go out one weekend and decide what you want to keep out of the things I put in storage."

"Okay. Once this game is released, I'll have more time. I'm still behind from being gone so long, but it will get better."

Carol laid the dishrag on the counter and turned to look at him, her arms crossed. "You really believe that, don't you? I'm beginning to think that not everything Sue Ann said was a lie. You're married to your job, and nothing and no one comes between you and your computer. Not even your daughter."

Logan felt as though he'd been punched. How could she think that? He would spend more time with Katie as soon as he caught up at work. But when he was at the office, he lost track of time and there were so many things that needed his attention.

He had a capable manager who had done an excellent job while he was away, but now that he was back everyone brought their problems to the boss just like they had before. "That's not true. I love Katie more than anything."

"Then why do you work until midnight almost every night? Why are you back at the office before the sun comes up? Why is everything else more important than Katie's happiness?"

"Dammit! It's not. But at work I don't have time to think, I don't have time to remember, I don't have time to feel guilty…oh, hell." He slapped the towel down onto the counter and walked away without a backward glance.

How did she do that? Get him to spill his guts when he tried so hard to keep everything inside? Now she'd never leave him alone until she learned the truth. Then she'd hate him as much as he hated himself.

***

Megan sat crossed legged on the floor of the living room, sorting through a box of books, while Carol worked her way through an old cedar chest. "Carol, what kind of books do you want to keep? Just the old ones?"

"I think so. Anything that isn't out of print, you can put in the giveaway stack. Logan has his own tastes in books and most of those would be too old for Katie. I read romance novels, and I doubt you'll find any of those in there." Carol pulled a paper-wrapped dress from the chest.  "Look at this. Mom's wedding dress. It's simple, but still pretty."