Blame it on the Stars (The Blame Game) (21 page)

She glared at him.
“Okay then, so what does
Barbara
want to do for Christmas? When does she want the kids?”

“
Actually, she’d like them the whole two weeks.”

Catlin laughed.
“Yeah, right. She doesn’t want them to be with you at all over the holidays?”

Steve looked at her.
“No, she doesn’t want them to be with
you
at all over the holidays.”

“
That fucking bitch!” Catlin picked up a small pillow off the sofa. She squeezed it, and slammed it to the floor.

“
Feel better?” He faced her.

She stared at him.

“We’ve talked about this before. You know she’s always going to be in our lives, because of the kids. Your shitty attitude doesn’t make anything easier.”

“
Are you trying to make me feel better? Because you’re failing miserably. How about this, here’s another vote for skipping Christmas this year. A joint Christmas, anyway. I’ll take Chris to Kansas City, and maybe you can take your family someplace. How about Vail? Does Barbara like skiing?”

“
Catlin—” Steve started to object, but she walked to the front door and opened it.

“
We’re done with this conversation for tonight. I still need to pack for
my
weekend in Kansas City. You have plans to make, and a tree to chop down. I’ll see you when I get back.”

“
Is this really how you want to leave things?”

“
Ho ho ho.”

H
e stepped out the door, and she slammed it behind him.

Catlin had butterflies in her stomach all day Friday. She knew she should call Steve, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. Friday evening Nick and Craig had a show to perform, so she took Chris to a late movie. When they got home and she’d put him to bed, she decided she had to make the call. She looked at her watch; it was almost eleven-thirty. She decided to call anyway.

“
Hello,” Steve answered quietly. It didn’t sound as if she’d woken him.

“
I’m sorry to call so late.”

“
I’m awake. I hardly slept last night, and the prospects for tonight were looking grim.”

“
I’m so sorry, Steve. I’ve been thinking...this year we have to understand that it’s going to be a different kind of Christmas. Everything is too new. I think we should be happy with whatever time we can muster together, with whatever kids are there. If we have more than one Christmas, that’s okay, too.”

“
I was thinking the same thing, sweetheart. I’m sorry for getting so worked up.”

“
Next year, we’ll have been a family for a whole year, and I’m sure we can pull off a Norman Rockwell holiday by then. But dammit, it’s too hard this year. Let’s just be happy with what we get, and not fight about it anymore.”

“
I agree. If you’re not too tired when you get home, would you like to come with us to pick out the tree? We could do it without you, but it would be more fun
with you
.”

“
I’d love too. I’m sorry we haven’t gotten it yet. I guess it slipped my mind with everything that’s going on.”

“
Mine too, actually. I should never have said it was your fault.”

“
Let’s put Thursday night behind us. A lot of things were said that shouldn’t have been.”

“
I love you, Catlin. That’s one thing that
wasn’t
said.”

“
I love you too, babe. I’m glad I called. Maybe we’ll both be able to sleep tonight.”

“
I hope so. Think you’ll have time to call tomorrow?”

“
I’ll try. We’re going to the Globetrotters in the evening; I don’t know how late we’ll be.”

“
I understand. Have fun, and I’ll talk to you soon.”

“
Goodnight, Steve.”

“
Goodnight.”

She hung up the phone, and went to brush her teeth.

Saturday she took
her son Christmas shopping, and bought him a few things just for fun. She and Nick took him to the Harlem Globetrotters Basketball game that night, and Craig went on a date. Catlin was teasing him about meeting her, but he wouldn’t agree to it.

She was just putting
Chris to bed when Craig came home. They sat in the front room with Nick and drank some beer.

“
So how was the date?” She teased Craig.

“
Fine.” He didn’t elaborate.

She looked at Nick
. “Sure doesn’t like to kiss and tell, does he?”

Nick shook his head.
“Never has, thank God.”

Catlin laughed.
“This has been the best day. I’m having so much fun with Chris.”

Nick said
, “He loves being with you, too.”

Craig looked at Nick.
“This seems like a good time to bring it up.”

“
What?” Catlin looked from one man to the other.

Nick said
, “Well, you know we’re leaving December 29th for our tour. We’ll be gone three months.”

“
Three months,
” Catlin repeated. “I didn’t know it would be for so long.”

Nick nodded.
“I was thinking, maybe you’d like to keep Chris while we’re gone.”

Catlin jumped up.
“Are you kidding me?”

Nick and Craig were smiling, and Nick shook his head.
“No kidding.”

Catlin pounced on Nick and gave him a hug.
“I would love that! Three months!”

Nick looked at Craig
“Now she wants us to stay away longer.”

“
No.” Catlin curled up on his lap and patted his chest. “But...” she did some figuring in her head. “I would hate to interrupt him mid-semester. He could start the new semester in January, but I think he should stay with me until school’s out at the end of May.”

“
The end of May?” Nick teased her. “Man, you’re getting pushy.”

“
You can’t move him around from school to school.” She smiled at Nick hopefully. “It’s really the best thing for Chris.”

Nick looked at Craig
who nodded. He looked back at Catlin. “Yeah, I think it is too. Through May, then.”

Catlin threw her arms around Nick again, and planted a kiss on his cheek.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Nick held his hands up in surrender.
“Okay, okay! You’re welcome.”

Catlin moved back a little, and hugged her knees to her chest.
“This is so great. I can’t wait to tell Chris.”

Craig stood up.
“I’m going to bed. I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

“
Good night,” they called, and he slipped into his room.

Catlin hugged her knees again.
“I’m so excited!”

Nick put his hand on her back and rubbed it up and down.
“I love seeing you so happy. It’s been a long time.”

She grinned at him.
“Everything is finally coming into place.” She put her arms around him and hugged his neck again. “Thank you
so much
for this!”

He took advantage of
the closeness and brought his mouth to hers.

Catlin
’s head felt giddy, either from the happiness or the beer. But she returned the kiss, and opened her mouth to him willingly. When Nick’s hand slipped inside her blouse she realized what she was doing, and pulled away quickly. “No, stop.”

He nuzzled her neck.
“Don’t want to stop.”

Shoving his hands away, she scrambled from his lap and stood in the middle of the room.
“I’m sorry to get so carried away. I should never have sat on your lap. I was just so thrilled about Chris.”

He held his arms out to her.
“Chris will be excited, too. But if you want to thrill me, get back over here.”

She folded her arms across her chest.
“I appreciate the offer, but I’ll have to say no. I should go to bed now. Goodnight, Nick.”

“
Catlin,” he called after her.

She closed and locked her bedroom door, and stood with her back against
it.

How could I have kissed him?
Thankfully, nothing else had happened.
Nothing else can ever happen.
Maybe Steve was right, and Nick couldn’t be trusted. Perhaps she shouldn’t be here alone with him. She’d totally have to rethink Christmas.

There was no way she could call Steve now. She
’d talk to him tomorrow. Catlin climbed into bed, clothes and all.

She found Chris in the kitchen, eating leftover pizza the next morning.
What the hell?
She joined him.

“
So how did you sleep?” He had an ornery grin on his face.

“
Fine.” She looked at him warily. “And you?”

“
Just great.” His grin widened.

“
What are you up to?”

“
Nothing!” He shoved a huge piece of pizza in his mouth.

Craig joined them, giving them each a little hug. He looked at
Chris as he picked up a piece of pizza. “Who was on the phone?”

“
No one,” Chris replied. “Wrong number.”

Catlin looked from one to the other, unsure how much each of them knew.
Did anyone see her and Nick kiss? If they kept watching, they’d have seen her going to her room alone. She felt very queasy, and tossed her last piece of pizza back on her plate. It was almost eleven-thirty.
Steve would be home by now.
She went to call him.

The answering machine picked up, and she left a message. She tried several more times before she left for home, but got the machine each time.

She hugged Chris goodbye, promising to see him in a week and a half for Christmas. He wasn’t sad this time, because he knew when he saw her again, he’d be moving in with her. She said her good-byes to Craig, and Nick walked her out.

He pulled her into a hug, and she let him. Before she pulled away, she said softly
“Nick, what happened last night can
never
happen again.”

“
I know, but I had to give it a shot.”

She gave him one last quick hug, and left.

Her stomach was in knots as she dr
ove home to Marshall. She drove straight to Steve’s house, and went in through the kitchen. “Anybody home?”

As she walked through the family room, she noticed the Christmas tree was up and decorated.
“Hey,” she called again, and peeked around the corner into Steve’s office.

He was sitting in the dark, his back to his desk, staring out the window.

“Hi! What are you doing in here? I’ve been trying to call you all day.”

Steve didn
’t respond.

Catlin continued
, “What happened to picking out the tree together? It’s okay, it looks good.” She sat sideways on his lap. “I have the best news! Nick’s going to let me have Chris when they go on tour in January! They’ll be gone for three months, but I told Nick he couldn’t pull Chris out of school mid-semester, so he’ll get to stay with me until school’s out in May....” her voice trailed off as she looked at Steve’s face. It was red and his eyes were puffy. “What’s wrong with you? What’s happened?”

He
gazed at her with steely eyes. “Why don’t you tell me?”

She shook her head.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I had a great weekend.”

“
I’ll bet you did.”

“
Steve.” Catlin put her hands on his shoulders and squeezed them lightly “What are you talking about?”

He removed her hands and gently scooted her backward until she stood up. He stood in front of her.
“I’m afraid I’ve misjudged you. I was waiting for you to come clean with me, but it looks like you’re not going to do it.”

“
What the hell are you talking about? What do you mean, misjudged me?”

“
I didn’t want to believe that you were the kind of woman who could take me to bed one night and someone else the next.”

She laughed nervously.
“You think I did that? Where would you get that crazy idea?”

“
Are you denying it?”

“
Of course I’m denying it, because it never happened!” She looked into his eyes, the eyes that had turned her world upside down a few short months ago. They were gray and angry now. “Do you really believe I could do that to you? I love you so much. I am closer to you, have been more intimate with you, than with anyone ever in my life. Don’t you know that? Don’t you know me?”