Blaze (Blaze #1) (8 page)

“You are sleeping with Gabriel.”

I wave my hand dismissively. “—And I know I
did a good job with Noah, but at the end of the day, Gabriel did it
better. Not because he cares about me but as some unnecessary
cockblock. Apparently I’m good enough for right now, not
forever.”

Nat’s eyes go wide.

“Fuck the job talk. What do you mean
forever? Have you… you love him!”

I snort.

“I do not.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” I ask. I finish the rest of the
wine in my glass in one gulp.

“Fuck it up for the rest of us independent
women who can handle a casual, sexual relationship with a sexy
millionaire.”

“I can handle it.” I’m getting irritated
despite my buzz.

“Handling it looks a lot like falling in
love, which is fine because you know what?” Nat rests a hand my
knee and gives it a squeeze. “You deserve that. But if Gabriel Call
is going to leave you heartbroken, it’s probably better to end it
now.”

End it now. Could I do that?

“But I like…” I stop. What do I like about
him?

“You like fucking him? Of course you
do.”

One of my roommates, Sarah, enters the
living room just at that moment. Without batting an eye she asks,
“Who does Kate like fucking?”

“No one,” I say quickly, and jerk my leg to
jostle Nat.

Sarah shakes her head and shrugs into a
jacket over her blue scrubs. “I’m covering someone else’s ER shift
tomorrow afternoon so I’ll most likely sleep at the hospital. Good
seeing you again, Nat. Kate, good luck liking fucking no one.”

She grabs her keys off a small table by the
front door and then she’s gone.

“Thanks a lot, Nat.”

“What? Sarah’s cool. I was half kidding
before. You like having sex with him, but there’s more to it,
right?”

I nod slowly and look down at my hands,
embarrassed.

“I know I make it sound like he’s always…
intense. Serious. But sometimes he can be funny. And it’s always so
random. And he’s generous. He’s on the board of like, three
different charities. He doesn’t always show me those sides of him.
I wish that it was—”

“More than just sex?” She smiles
sympathetically.

“I want more.” The words tumble out before I
realize what they mean. I have to keep my promise.

I have to walk away.

The doorman with the white mustache is back
on duty that night. He tips his hat and gives me his usual friendly
smile as he sees me walking towards the doors.

“I’m the luckiest man on earth, seeing you
so often,” he says. He can’t know what I’m thinking, what I’m
feeling. But my stomach tightens like a fist at his words.

I plaster a fake smile on my face.

“I bet you say that to all the girls,” I
say, and he laughs knowingly as he lets me inside.

I let out a long, shuddering breath as the
elevator doors close behind me and the long ride up to Gabriel’s
suite begins.

I want so much to turn around and run back
home, to curl up in a little ball under my blankets and let someone
else make this decision for me. But the adult me, the responsible
me, knows that I have to go through with this.

If this is such a good decision, why do
the feelings suck so much?
I wonder as I let myself into
Gabriel’s suite.

Then I see him, and for a moment I can’t
breathe.

He’s sitting by the window, a notebook in
his hand. He’s been writing, but for this moment he’s almost like a
photograph, calmly looking out over the city. There’s a cup of
coffee next to him, and I can smell the strong, sharp aroma from
clear across the room.

I’ve caught him in a completely unguarded
moment, and all the mocking humor, all the self-control, all the
cockiness and arrogance is gone from him. This is who he is when he
thinks no one’s watching, I can tell.

I don’t want to do anything to disturb the
moment, but my breath rushes back out and the spell snaps. He turns
to look at me and he smiles.

“Kate,” he says. “What a nice surprise.”

I don’t want to end this. But I have to.

I close the door behind me.

But first… I want the greatest night of my
life.

“I was just thinking…” he begins, but in an
instant, I’ve crossed the room to him, and set my mouth on his.

If he minds that I’ve cut him off, he
doesn’t show it. He kissed me back, and his arms go around me.

I break away and search his face for
something; I don’t know what. He looks back at me, not saying a
word.

God, he’s beautiful,
I think, and
then I take him by the hand and lead him after me into the
bedroom.

“You’re awfully bossy tonight,” he murmurs
as I pull him through the door after me, but then I place both my
hands on his chest and shove him backwards onto the bed. He laughs
as his muscular frame bounces on the mattress. He folds his hands
behind his head and watches me.

“Shhhh,” I say, and I dim the lights.

Standing at the end of the bed, I pull my
top off and throw it aside on the floor. His eyes are drinking me
in, but I don’t feel exposed. I want him to want me. I want to
tease him. So I take my time slipping out of my skirt, turning as I
take off my shirt too. Soon I’m just in my bra and panties and his
breathing is coming faster.

“Do you want me?” I whisper into the silent
room.

“God, yes,” he says back, and I unhook my
bra and my breasts swing free.

I clamber onto the bed and he reaches for
me, but I push him back again. He makes a growl of frustration.

I can see his cock bulging through his
pants. I run my hands over it, lightly, palming it, and he makes
another frustrated sound.

I can feel how wet I am. Desire ripples
through me with every beat of my desperate heart.

I unzip his pants and his erection springs
free. I kiss it, softly, tasting the saltiness at the tip, the
slippery pre-cum. Then I take him into my mouth and it’s all I can
do not to mount him there and then.

He throbs in my mouth and I open his pants
further, slipping another hand down to cup his balls and gently
squeeze them while I suck. He’s huge in my mouth, so hot between my
lips.

I draw back and he arches his back.

“
God
, you’re good at that,” he says,
and there’s a hint of a laugh in his voice.

I don’t say a word. I just strip his pants
and briefs off. He reaches for the button of his shirt. I swat his
hand. He stares at me.

“No,” I say softly, and I bend my head to
softly kiss the part of his hand I hit.

“Let me,” I say, and I unbutton his shirt,
one by one, taking my time. His body is a work of art, all hard,
lean muscle in long, sharp lines.

As I unbutton his shirt I gently stroke him,
keeping him hard. Then, when I’m ready at last, I throw my leg over
him and take him into me, impaling myself on his cock.

A groan bursts out from the absolute heart
of me as I feel him entering me. A warm shiver runs through my
whole body.

“Fuck!” he breathes out, reaching for me.
This time I let him, as I gently rock from my hips, feeling him
moving inside me. I close my eyes and lose myself in the sensation.
This is all I want, forever.

His hands are on my hips and he’s moving in
time with me, burying himself in me. Something wild is building up,
and I start moving faster. He feels it and an animal grin washes
over his face as he keeps time. Before long sweat is pouring off
me; I’m don’t know how I can keep going but I don’t know how I can
stop.

His grip gets harder and I move with more
force; we’re lost in each other, in this moment. He’s my whole
world, in me, around me, he’s all I can feel.

My orgasm hits at the exact same time as his
does. I shudder and fall forwards on top of him, even as he keeps
pulsing his release inside me.

He must have showered while I slept, because
I awaken to find him snoring softly against the back of my neck and
the spice of his shampoo tickles my nose. I am careful not to wake
him as I slip from underneath his arm and slide to the edge of the
bed. The clock on the bedside table tells me it’s nearly
midnight.

As always, time with Gabriel moves too
quickly.

I’ll end things in the morning
.

One lit lamp from across the room provides
enough light for me to make my way to the bathroom. I set the water
temperature as high as I can stand it, and then stand under the
spray, letting it massage my shoulders.

Gabriel has set aside a bathing sponge with
a soft handle for me to use whenever I’m over. I lather it with a
vanilla-scented body wash that costs a week’s worth of groceries.
As I run the sponge along my body, touching every inch brings forth
a memory of being with Gabriel.

The soreness between my thighs is a reminder
of how rough we could be when it felt like he couldn’t be inside of
me fast enough. Hard enough. When it felt like nothing mattered but
having him fill me completely. Rubbing my breasts reminds me of how
gentle he could be, almost bringing me to orgasm just by sucking my
nipples.

Only when I’m sure no one else in the
building will have hot water for hours do I force myself to dry off
and return to the bedroom. I’m about to drop my towel and crawl
into the bed when I look at Gabriel. Really look at him. He’s on
his back. The sheets cover him from the waist down, and one leg is
slightly raised. I cock my head to the side to get a better look at
his face, only visible due to the light from across the room and
the faint glow of moonlight breaking through the curtains.

He looks much younger when he’s sleeping.
Almost innocent. This is not the face of a man who would ever hurt
me. This is the face of the man who once told me the best sleep
he’s ever gotten in this city are the nights when I stay over. This
is the man who talks about looking at the stars above his Montana
farm with the same passion that he argues Chicago has the best
pizza.

And for short periods of time this
complicated, sexy, demanding man looks at me like I’m the most
important thing in the world. Who could ever live up to this?

I crawl into bed and press my body against
his. He’s warm with sleep and only slightly sighs when I place my
lips against the curve of his neck and kiss gently. Completely on
top of him now, I feel his cock harden against me. I slide my wet
pussy along his length. He whispers my name between moans.

After a sharp slap, he grips my ass with
both hands and grinds me against him even harder. I could come at
any moment, but I want this to last. I stop and fall forward on the
bed next to him and then roll onto my back. I stretch my arms above
my head and practically purr. Gabriel positions himself over me,
holding both of my hands down with one of his. He uses a leg to
guide open mine.

He presses with just the tip.

“Look at me.”

Our eyes meet as he slides into me, just a
few inches.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I want you,” I answer quickly, wanting him
to give it all to me.

“You want me to what?” he asks, sliding in a
just a bit further.

“Fuck me, Gabriel.”

It sounds like such a desperate plea, but I
don’t care. His eyes hold mine as drives into me in one deliberate
thrust. I cry out in pleasure more than pain. I wait for the
familiar movement of his hips, but they don’t come. He keeps his
cock deep inside of me, but doesn’t move.

“Gabriel, please.”

“I love making you beg,” he says with a
self-satisfied grin.

I slide one hand free and reach up to cup
the side of his face. I run my thumb across his cheekbone, the
corner of his mouth, and finally across his full lips.

“And I love you making me beg.”

He gets a look on his face that I can’t
quite read. I decide I’ve had enough and begin to move my hips,
tightening my muscles, and riding his cock from underneath him. He
lasts for all of five seconds before he groans and says, “Damn it,
Kate.”

Then he’s fucking me back, meeting every
thrust. The sound our bodies make when we connect only turns me on
more.

“I’m going to come.”

My voice is high and I briefly wonder if I’m
too loud.

But then Gabriel is saying, “Come for me,
Kate. I need you to,” and I don’t care who can hear me. He’d
delivered his own desperate plea and my body responded. All I can
do is wrap myself around him, and let him hold me as I explode.

I have to root around under the bed in order
to find my other shoe. Gabriel’s voice behind me is low and
soft.

“Don’t get up. I love the view.”

I smile despite what I know I have to do. I
rise to my feet and Gabriel is behind me, slipping his around my
waist and pulling me close. “I like when you’re on your hands and
knees,” he whispers into my ear and I shudder. “I told you, you
don’t have to go.”

“You have writing to do,” I say, turning to
face him. I drop the missing shoe on the floor and rest a hand on
his shoulder to keep my balance so I can put it on. “And I have…
stuff… I need to take care of today.”

He makes a sound that’s half sigh and half
growl. Within seconds he’s kissing my neck. “I need to tell you
something.” I marvel over how confident I sound – definitely more
than I feel. He pulls away and looks at me. His eyes are wary.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think we should… stop. Seeing each
other.”

“What…” The word trails off as he blows out
his breath. He looks around the suite. The bed is still unmade, the
sheets in various twists and clumps from our lovemaking. The dining
table is covered with the remnants of the lavish breakfast he
ordered. I can see that he’s trying to piece together what went
wrong. What he did. And my heart breaks.