Blessed by a Demon’s Mark (16 page)
“Remember, you don’t have to do it alone.”
I looked into his eyes and knew it to be true.
Before I knew what was happening, Jonathan leaned forward, his lips finding mine.
I didn’t budge, didn’t react. I was too scared to do anything out of fear of what would happen. If I pulled away, he might take offense. If I leaned into him . . . I didn’t even want to think about what would happen.
Jonathan pulled back, eyes searching mine. “You don’t have to be afraid,” he said. His breath felt warm and inviting on my cheek. His upper lip was bleeding again from the kiss.
I could feel more tears coming and I silently cursed them. My lips started trembling and my hand slid a few inches forward so that it was touching his knee.
“I can’t help it,” I whispered.
Jonathan’s hand slid from my shoulder, lightly trailing up my neck. His fingers played over my cheekbone until his thumb slid under my eye, wiping the tear away.
“Thank you for coming,” he said, his voice low. “It means more to me that you of all people came. I . . .” He trailed off and licked the blood from his lips.
My entire world felt like it was being shaken apart. I knew deep down I couldn’t have this. As kind and gentle as he was being, I was something different, something dark and terrible. I didn’t deserve his kindness.
I stood, brushing his hands away. “I’ve got to go,” I said, hurrying to the door.
“You can always stay.”
I turned to look back at him. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes full of hurt. The gauze was starting to fall from his ear, exposing more of the sawed-on ear. No matter how much I wanted to comfort him, to have him comfort me, I knew he was something I could never have.
“I can’t,” I said. It felt like someone punched me in the gut. “I’m sorry.”
I opened the door and all but flew down the stairs and out the front door of the Den.
17
I took my time getting home, not really wanting to face anyone after what I’d just gone through. Morning was just over the horizon, and while I was a mess inside, it didn’t mean I wanted to get caught out under the sun’s rays.
Jeremy was sipping coffee in the living room when I walked through the door. I almost went upstairs without saying anything to him, but his calm demeanor was unsettling. The last I’d seen him, he’d been a wreck.
“When do you sleep?” I asked, leaning against the wall. I so didn’t want him to realize how upset I really was.
He looked up at me and a flare of anger passed over his eyes. He was still pissed about what I’d said earlier, I was sure. I didn’t blame him; I’d still be angry too.
“When I can.”
“It must be hard on you.” I wasn’t sure if I meant the staying up or dealing with his missing arm. It just seemed like the right thing to say.
“I get by.”
I fumbled for something else to say and then realized I hadn’t told him the good news. “I found Jonathan,” I said. “He’s back at the Den, safe and sound.”
His eyes hardened. “I know. He called me.”
I felt like the world’s biggest bitch. I’d been nothing but cruel to the kid ever since I’d met him.
“Look,” I said. “I’m sorry about what I said. I’ve been pissed off at the world lately, and I’ve been taking it out on everyone. I appreciate what you’ve tried to do. Ethan needs someone who can be here for him, and I just haven’t been that person.”
Jeremy studied me a moment like he was trying to figure out if I was serious or playing some sort of joke. Finally, he dipped his head in acceptance. “Thank you,” he said.
I smiled at him. “Get some rest sometime.”
“I will.” He smiled back, though it was still strained.
I went up to my room feeling a whole hell of a lot better. I was still nowhere close to feeling happy, let alone normal, but at least I’d started to mend one relationship. Jeremy would probably never forgive me for everything I’d done to him, but at least we were making progress.
Ethan was already tucked away in his room by the time I came upstairs. I could hear his snores through his door as I passed. I almost opened the door and peeked in on him like some doting mother worried about her small, helpless child. I wanted him to be safe and I felt like I needed to protect him.
I just patted the door and kept going instead. I might be getting soft like Jonathan had joked, but I wasn’t
that
soft.
that
soft.
As soon as I was in my room, I pulled the note with the name and address on it from my coat pocket. I sat down on my bed and stared at it, feeling suddenly lonely. I wanted someone sitting here beside me.
I wanted Jonathan.
His warmth and kindness would get me through this. He’d known exactly what to say, would make sure I didn’t do something mind-blowingly stupid. He’d shoulder some of the guilt I’d feel for working for a vampire Countess.
But I was alone and I would deal with this alone. No sense dragging him into this any more than he already was. Even if he asked, I’d tell him no. Jonathan had suffered enough on my behalf. I refused to be responsible for more.
Instead of dwelling on it, I turned my attention to the name written on the page:
Count Strinowski.
I wondered if he was from some other country or if he’d simply taken an exotic-sounding name. Jonathan had told me once that vampire Counts and Countesses took different names when they rose in power, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to think this guy had as well.
Count Strinowski.
I wondered if he was from some other country or if he’d simply taken an exotic-sounding name. Jonathan had told me once that vampire Counts and Countesses took different names when they rose in power, so it wasn’t much of a stretch to think this guy had as well.
I ran the name through my memory banks but was coming up blank. If I’d ever heard his name before, he hadn’t been important enough for me to remember. There were just too many vamps to remember them all, though I did know most Counts and Countesses.
But if this guy wasn’t important enough to remember, why would Countess Baset want him dead? I guess he could be an up-and-comer, someone who’d only recently started making a name for himself. He could also have been one of her vamps who split from her House without her permission.
I hated the fact that I didn’t know. I might kill, but I always knew why I was killing. I wasn’t even sure this guy was a real vamp. For all I knew, he was just some kid hopped up on drugs who was calling himself a vampire Count to pick up girls.
I tucked the paper back in my coat pocket and tossed the coat onto a chair. I couldn’t do anything about it now. The sun was just coming up, so there was no way I was going to be able to leave to get information on the guy. I’d have to wait until evening.
And wait I did. The heavy drapes over the windows kept out the light of the sun, leaving my room nearly pitch-black. I could have turned on a light and read, but the darkness suited my mood. I wasn’t feeling nearly as bad as I’d felt before, but I still wasn’t feeling happy-go-lucky. I had a feeling it would be a long time before I reached that point again.
It’s hard to make it through so many hours of sunlight without going crazy. I didn’t even have a TV in my room, which I was starting to think was a mistake. On days like this where I had so much shit flowing through my head, I really could use the distraction.
I did have a few books tucked away that I could read, but that would require turning on the light. While my vampire-enhanced vision was nice, it wasn’t so good at picking out tiny words on a page. Besides, I doubted I would be able to follow along with a book right then. I’d never be able to focus.
I settled on alternating between lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, and pacing. At around noon, I took a long bath, hoping to soak the bad mood away. I closed my eyes and let the hot water soothe my aching muscles and joints. My back was throbbing where I’d been gouged a few months ago. The stitches were gone, but the scars were definitely still there.
When night finally fell, I was so relieved I almost wept. I hurried out of my room and nearly collided into Ethan as he headed for the bathroom across the hall. The clothes he planned on wearing were wrapped in a tight bundle, tucked under his arm. He’d probably snatched them off the floor, not really caring whether they were dirty or clean.
“Sorry,” he mumbled, eyes still heavy with sleep.
“Hey, can you do something for me?” I said, putting as much cheer into my voice as I could. I was going to try to stop grouching at everyone I lived with so their lives were at least bearable when I was around.
“Sure.” His eyes lit up with the prospect of something to do. “What do you have in mind?”
“Could you scrounge up a TV from somewhere and get it hooked up in my room? I’m tired of sitting in the dark with nothing to do every day.”
He gave me an odd look. I’d never been one for watching television. “Of course,” he said. “We don’t have one lying around, but I can send Jeremy out later. I’m sure he can pick one up for you.”
“Thanks.”
Ethan smiled and headed into the bathroom, whistling.
I smiled until the door was closed and then let it drop. I started for the stairs just as Jeremy headed up them. I forced my smile to return and nodded at him.
He stopped, his own smile fading. “What’s going on?”
I hesitated. “What do you mean?”
“You’re acting strange.”
I tried on another smile, not quite sure what he was getting at.
“See,” he said. “You’re smiling.”
I stopped trying. “I’ll be back later tonight,” I said. “Make sure Ethan stays safe.”
Jeremy nodded, his face all seriousness. I frowned at him and he suddenly broke into a huge grin. “That’s more like it.” He continued on up to his room, chuckling.
I went downstairs, shaking my head. This time, the smile I felt cross my face was real.
I silently thanked Jeremy for that little moment as I went down into the basement for my weapons.
Any and all of my pleasant thoughts bled away as I got ready. I just couldn’t be happy when I was going to kill someone for a vampire Countess. This was the sort of thing I’d fought against for years.
I was sulking by the time I had my gear in place and was heading out the door. I still had Jeremy’s keys and decided to make the best of them. There was no sense risking my neck on the slick roads with my Honda, especially since I was already distracted.
While I’d resigned myself to having to make the kill, I still didn’t know where this Count lived.
But I knew where I could go to find out.
Mikael wasn’t all that thrilled to see me again. I don’t think I’d ever visited him this many times in such a short span of time before. And I was sure he wasn’t happy that I was still coming to him after he’d asked me not to.
He patted the girl he was sitting with on the ass and shooed her away as I approached. I gave him my best winning smile. It only seemed to make him that much more irritated.
“I need information on a name,” I said, sitting down across from him. I slapped some money on the table.
He gave me an exasperated look. “We are done,” he said, crossing his arms and sitting back. “I have given you all the information I have on Countess Baset. You must do this on your own.”
“That’s already been taken care of,” I said. “This is something else.”
Mikael’s eyes widened. “You’ve killed Baset?”
“No,” I admitted. “We worked out an agreement.”
His mouth slowly unhinged until he was gaping at me. I think it was the first time I’d ever shocked him into silence. He normally knew everything I knew, and then some. The idea that I’d surprised him made me smile another real smile.
“So, about this other name . . .”
Mikael shook his head as if coming out of a trance. “How did you manage it, my sweet? I cannot believe you have dealt with her and survived, yet I detect no lie.”
“I think I deserve some secrets of my own, don’t you think?”
His eyes narrowed, but he ended up nodding. There was a good chance he’d figure out what was going on anyway. He was good at finding out things.
“Okay,” he said. “Who do you require information on this time, so soon after your latest escapades?”
“Count Strinowski. I know absolutely nothing about him. I need to know what he’s done and where he lives.”
Mikael’s brow furrowed. “You do not know what he has done? Why would you ask after a vampire whose crimes you do not know? How did you come by his name?”
“I have my sources,” I said, jaw going tight. I so didn’t want him to know I was working for Baset. He’d probably figure it out on his own, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him myself.
He studied me for a few seconds before sighing. “He is not a good man. Not many vampires are, no?” He laughed. “He is much more in your skill range than Baset was, though I’d love to know how you overcame her.”
I bristled a bit at that and motioned for him to continue.
Mikael chuckled wryly to himself. “Not even a hint?”
“No,” I said firmly.
He shrugged. “Count Strinowski is only a Count in name, one he has given to himself. He lords over no one but his victims. He is but a step away from rogue, but it is a bad step. He likes torture.”
I groaned. Another one of those. “Okay,” I said. “Do you know why anyone would want him dead?”
Mikael laughed. “Pick a reason. He claims he is the head of a House, yet he has no werewolves or vampires to call his own. He moves around a lot, so no one can really pin him down. He kills wherever he goes. He tortures anyone he can get his hands on—werewolves, vampires, Purebloods—it does not matter to him.”
I nodded. He might have killed one of Baset’s wolves. She would want revenge for that. It made perfect sense, though I found it hard to believe she couldn’t have taken care of him herself.
“How do I find him?” I asked.
“It is not easy,” Mikael warned. “Like I said, he moves around often, never staying in one place more than a week or so. He is very good at hiding, very chameleon-like. Until the bodies start popping up, he is usually invisible.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. If Mikael didn’t know where to find the Count, then I had no other way of tracking him. I didn’t know what Baset would do if I failed in this.
“Do you know where he is?” I sounded more desperate than I would have liked.
A smile crept across Mikael’s face. “It may be that I’ve come across information hinting at his current location, yes. It is not confirmed, so I could be wrong.”
“But you’re never wrong.” I felt a smile of my own forming.
Mikael shrugged as if that was granted.
“Where?” I asked.
Mikael gave me an address that would take me quite a ways out of the city proper. In fact, it would take me right past a certain road with a certain little road sign leading to a certain little town. My heart gave a hop at the thought of passing by Delai.
I thanked Mikael and rose. He reached out and touched my hand before I could walk away.
Other books
The Unsuspected by Charlotte Armstrong
Red by Kait Nolan
Maze Running and other Magical Missions by Lari Don
Gentle Pirate by Castle, Jayne
SHAKESPEARE’ SECRET by ELISE BROACH
The Murder Farm by Andrea Maria Schenkel
Cracking India by Bapsi Sidhwa
Closer Than They Appear by Riley, Jess
Love Kinection by Jennifer James
Ryder: #4 (Allen Securities) by Madison Stevens
