Authors: David Michael
He took a deep breath and launched into a history lesson in fast forward.
“Since the dawn of time, Good and Evil have been at war. This is a well known fact everywhere you go. No matter the time, place, plane, or state of mind, each is constantly fighting for superiority over the other. However, when the scales tip in favor of one or the other, nothing good ever comes of it. There has to be a balance. Light and Dark, Good and Evil, Yin and Yang, you know? Chaos is a minion of Evil. A hired assassin who receives his payment in power. He’s
very
good at what he does. For centuries, he’s been doing the bidding of Darkness, and wreaking havoc along the way. You may know of him better as Puck or Loki. Those were some particularly nasty times that managed to get put down in religious history around the world.”
The disbelief spread from her eyebrow to her whole face at that last bit.
“Wait.” She put her hand up to stop him. “You’re telling me that an insane deity of destruction and doom is out to off me because his boss, the ultimate Evil, thinks I’m a threat?”
She thought about that for a moment and then began laughing hysterically.
It was his turn to express his disbelief, “This is
not
something you should be laughing about, Ardra! Personally, I’m terrified for you!”
After regaining control of herself, she managed to get out, “I’m terrified for me, too! But the thought of
anyone
thinking I’m a threat, let alone the root of all evil, is just absurd!”
She returned promptly to her fit of giggles and he quickly decided that she had lost her marbles.
It’s not very often that a spirit guide is rendered speechless. And Kaiser in particular was known for always having
too
much to say. However, her reaction to what he had told her was above and beyond any level of insanity that he had yet to encounter.
Kaiser, while in dog mode, had been losing sleep over the infuriating lack of progress during the last couple of weeks. He had planned and schemed for hours at a time for a way to get here here so that they could have this conversation, and here she was, completely derailing his plan for how the conversation would go, by laughing like a loon.
He suddenly wished that her little slice of heaven they were sitting in had straight jackets.
After several minutes of psychotic laughter, she finally pulled herself together. Mostly for his sake. She still couldn’t grasp the concept of her being a threat to anyone. She had a hard time swatting a fly!
“Are you finished with your psychotic episode yet?” Kaiser asked.
“I
finally
see you be serious about something and
that’s
what comes out of your mouth? No wonder I think you’re so much sweeter when you can’t speak!”
The gaze that he had leveled on her was all too sobering. She hated that he was bringing her down. She hadn’t laughed like that in months, and it felt great!
His form wavered slightly before shifting into the familiar lab that was somewhere out there with her real body. She fought back another laughing fit and traded it for a chortle and scratched him on his head where she knew he liked it.
There was no tail thump though. Instead, his voice in her head said,
Not funny. Now change me back.
She made a show of considering it before saying, “No. Not until you lighten up and stop being a buzz kill. Just because I find it absurd that you think I’m some big threat to the biggest and baddest of all the big bads out there, doesn’t mean you have to go all Dr. Phil on me!”
He stared at her with an irritated look on his face for several long seconds before saying
Change. Me. Back.
“Ugh. Fine.”
His form wavered and he was back to his handsome, manly self. She decided to be extra nice and even let the hair that she had ripped out of his head return.
“Oh, and just when I was getting used to having a bald spot!”
That attitude was much more befitting of her mood and she laughed wholeheartedly at his sarcasm before saying, “Why is it that when you want a guy to be serious, he’s a wise guy, and when you need some comedy, all you get is a giant black hole of suckiness?”
“Just lucky I guess!”
She willed a little storm cloud to appear over his head, like you see in cartoons, and a miniature lightning bolt zapped the hair that she had just grown back right off of his head.
He put his hand up to the spot and laughed heartily when he noticed that all of the hair around the bald area was standing up like he had stuck his finger in a light socket.
The sound was music to her ears and she couldn’t help but stop the rain and join him. The wall that had been between them finished crumbling in that moment of shared laughter.
The easy camaraderie that she felt with him in her home, had crossed over to this new dimension. The worry that he felt for her ceased being an irritant and became an endearing trait. The nearly constant sarcasm was no longer an annoyance. Instead, it made her attraction to him even stronger. The smile that had turned her to butter before was suddenly even brighter and his beautiful eyes were like sapphire gems set in his flawless skull.
She knew that he would go to the ends of the earth to protect her and took great comfort in having him around. Both versions of him. Although, this version was
much
nicer on the eyes.
She took a deep breath and brought herself back to the reason she was there. Reluctantly, she asked, “So, where do we start?”
“You’re going to love this.” His mischievous smile had her heart racing and she was trying to decide if it was panic or something else when he continued. “I’m going to teach you how to breathe.”
“How to breathe? I know how to breathe.” She demonstrated her proficiency in breathing for him to prove her point, sucking in and blowing out several breaths in rapid succession. “See? I’ve been doing it my whole life. It’s a pretty neat trick, huh?”
He laughed at her and put his hand on her shoulder, applying just enough pressure to get his point across, he wanted her to sit down.
She lowered herself back down to the concrete lip of the fountain and glared up at him expectantly.
“Now what?”
“Now you relax.”
“I
am
relaxed! I’m as relaxed as I have been in weeks!”
“Just close your eyes, Ardra.”
He placed his warm hand over her eyes, forcing them closed
“You’re not gonna try to kiss me are you?”
She silently begged that he would do exactly that. The memory of his lips on hers gave her goosebumps and made her uncomfortably warm.
“Ardra, now that your eyes are closed, let’s do the same with the mouth, okay?”
She bit back a rude remark and did as she was asked. The least she could do was indulge the guy. She
did
shoot him in the head with a lightning bolt. And change him into a dog. And made fun of his concern for her. She owed him at least a little indulgence.
“Good. Now I want you to count out your breaths to your heartbeats. In four beats, out four beats.”
She did as she was told, wishing that he would take his hand off of her so that she could stop sounding like she was hyperventilating.
“Relax.” He demanded again as he came around behind her. He removed his hand from her eyes, but she kept them closed as he pressed his chest up against her back. “Feel my heartbeat, feel the rhythm of my breathing. Try to match it. In. Two. Three. Four. Out. Two. Three. Four. In. Two. Three. Four. Out. Two. Three. Four.”
She felt his heartbeat alright, and she paid
more
than enough attention to his breathing. The way that his chest rose and fell with each breath. The way the lean muscles pressed up against her back when he inhaled. The way his breath whispered across the little hairs at the base of her neck.
Her heart gradually slowed to match the leisurely, uniform pace of his. As their heartbeats fell into sync, she went completely lax. Every muscle in her body loosened of its own accord.
The deep breathing and plodding heartbeats left her with a heady feeling that she imagined had to be close to the feeling you got from smoking. The over oxygenated blood rushing through her body was like a drug. She could feel every inch of her flesh pulsing in time with her heart and she was convinced that she was melting into the stone surrounding the fountain.
A green light suddenly lit the inside of her eyelids. It was soft at first and steadily grew in intensity. What started out as a forest green glow ended up being closer to a lime green road flare. She put her hand up to shield her eyes to no avail. She pinched them shut even tighter and still received no relief.
As her heart rate started to increase and her breathing quickened, it occurred to her to open her eyes and find out what the source of the light was and just make it go away. It
was
her world after all.
She opened her eyes and her brain stumbled over what she was seeing before driving it home with stunning clarity. Kaiser was standing in front of her now, her garden world behind him looked almost the same as it had when they had started this exercise. Only now, everything was tinted green. The same shade of green that she had seen behind her closed eyes.
She raised her hand in front of her face and saw that it seemed to be the source of all the light.
She was radiant. Literally. She looked like a green light bulb. Wisps of green smoke seemed to radiate from her entire body. It reminded her of looking at the shadow of a barbecue and seeing the vapors from the propane dance across the ground.
She looked to Kaiser for answers and all she found in him was a reverent look of awe plastered to his face. He was smiling gently, the way she did when she saw kids playing at a park and daydreamed about having her own some day. She imagined it was the same look she would have on her face when she watched her future children sleeping in their beds.
“What’s going on with me, Kaiser? This is freaking me out. I don’t like it!” Panic edged its way into her voice. “How do I make it stop?”
“I have no idea.” Was the only guidance he gave her.
“Gee, thanks a lot.” She said in return.
She went back to examining her body, looking at her arms, legs, hands, feet, and torso. Every inch of her was glowing brightly. The smoke that was crawling along her skin and creating a green, form fitting bubble fascinated her. It shifted with her when she moved, not dispersing at all. Even when she summoned a slight breeze to see if it would be bothered by environmental components like wind or rain.
“You can’t blow your aura away with the wind you silly girl.” Kaiser advised, finally leaving his reverie. “It’s as much a part of you as your skin.”
“Well, if it’s so much a part of me, why have I never seen it before then? Even when I was here before, I didn’t light up like a roman candle! I mean, it’s kinda cool and all, but I don’t think I’m ok with walking around school looking like a radioactive dump site. That’s just not acceptable. I don’t think makeup is going to contain this.” She held up her hand and pointed at it with the other.
“Very few people in the world will be able to see it. It will be much more subdued on your plane because there is more energy there to interfere with the natural flow of your energy. Not to mention, most people are simply too busy to pay close attention to the world around them. You could probably paint yourself in glow in the dark neon green paint and few people would even notice. Heck, the ones that did would probably follow suit, thinking it was a new fashion statement!”
She shook her head and rolled her eyes at him. Though, the more she thought about it, the more she realized how much truth there was to his exaggerated statement. She could think of more than once she had worn something that she had initially thought was outlandish and, a week later,
everyone
was wearing the same thing. She had taken pride in being a trend setter at the time, but after thinking about it and seeing it from another standpoint, she was kind of saddened by the state of humanity.
If people were afraid to wear a piece of clothing for fear of ridicule, she wondered how handicapped people managed to even leave the house. It took a brave soul to wake up every morning and go out into a world where you’re not accepted.
Suddenly she had gone from the top of the conservative social ladder, to somewhere between there and the ground. She vowed to herself that she would never partake in the social elitist attitude again. Walking around telling herself that she was better than people was a horrible way to make her feel better about herself. She had spent her whole life pretending that people who were different or didn’t agree with her points of view were below her and not worthy of her attention.
The realization caused a sinking feeling in her stomach and she suddenly had the urge to shower.
She made a promise to herself that not only would she stop acting like that, but she would actively pursue the prospect of making amends. Maybe not to people specifically, but as a whole. Maybe she’d volunteer at the homeless shelter, or at that new center for gay teens whose parents had kicked them out of their homes.
She didn’t even know any gay people. She wondered where she had picked up her opinion of them. Utah was fairly gay friendly, all things considered. There were never any stories of gay bashing or murders. As a republican state, she supposed it was just what people were “supposed” to do. The government and church leaders told them how to think and feel about an issue and it was done. Without question.
She would no longer be one of those people. She was now a minority, it was a whole new way of thinking brought on by someone flipping on a light switch.
Literally.
She thought to herself as she stared at her glowing green hand.
The garden around her wavered and started to fade.
“Catch you on the flip side.” He winked at her just before everything went black.