Blessed by Sapphires (A Dance with Destiny Book 2) (14 page)

I couldn’t speak, words left me. My enchanting sapphire lover lay beside me, holding me in his angelic arms, intermittent tremors running the length of his beautiful form. Exhausted, we slept.

I have no idea how much time had passed when next I opened my eyes.

He was so flawlessly beautiful. I drank in the glory of his awesome form. Marveling in just how perfect this warrior truly was.
He was created without equal
, I thought.
I wonder, what was his purpose? Why was he blessed above all his brethren?

I ran my fingers through his vibrant blue hair, new desire growing with each blessed touch.

“You take my breath away,” I whispered.

He didn’t open his eyes, but the corners of his mouth lifted slightly. I brushed my fingers lightly across his brow, down his jaw line to his chiseled chin.

“God painted you just for me, Angel. I promise, nay, I vow… I will
never
leave you. From this moment forth, you will know no peace. I will be forever underfoot. You are mine. Never forget that, Warrior.” I kissed the tip of his nose. “I love you, Vindicus.”

His lips parted, displaying his brilliant, deadly smile.

“Do you feel that?” he whispered.

“Feel what? What is it, my love?”

But then I
did
feel something. My hand was burning. I realized this the same moment my Guardian’s sapphire eyes opened and he held his hand up before my face. It took a few more heartbeats before the intricate tattoo forming right in front of my eyes, would even register.

I slowly pulled my hand from beneath my resting head, holding it beside his. Together, we marveled at the beautifully matching bands magically encompassing our fingers.

“Witness now our destiny, little Fire Princess. Never have I belonged to another.” Vindicus looked as if he would cry—moist eyes wavering, lips pursed.

“But… I thought
you
had to place your manacle upon me. I thought you had to ask and I had to accept,” I wondered, aloud.

“That’s true,” he answered. “But, at least this way you didn’t get the chance to deny me.”

I smiled, blissfully happy. “As if denying you were even a possibility.”

“Unless the union
cannot
be denied… because it is ordained.”

The sorrowfully pained voice coming from the doorway caused me to release a tiny yelp.

“Vybius, old friend, how long have you been spying on us?” Vindicus said, smiling lazily.

“Ahh, Brother, you felt me approach only a moment ago. I waited, delayed my arrival.”

I sat up, looking at the amethyst-eyed man who had cared for me, held me while I was lost in the void, spoke my soul back to this realm, and had confessed his devotion for me this same day. Those enchanting eyes were moist with painful tears. My joyous heart sank a bit at the sight of him.

I was suddenly painfully aware of just how naked Vindicus and I were—laying there, limbs still entwined. I jumped up and instinctively went to the familiar closet, slipped on a robe, and tossed a coverlet to my new husband.

“Apologies. I didn’t mean to interrupt,” Vybius said, his voice sounding so tiny, his head bowed. “When Viatrix envisioned your
bonding
, I could not come. My wings were weighted down with pain.” He paused, taking a shaky breath. “But when she saw your union without the exchanging of manacles, well, I had to see
that
with my own eyes. I have only ever read about it in our most ancient accords.”

I looked back down at my freshly tattooed finger, new love filled me. I couldn’t have stopped my smile even if I’d wanted to. I looked to my beautiful new husband, who mirrored my expression perfectly.

“I have never known such a feeling,” I whispered. “I’ve never felt quite so complete. I’m looking at the world through brand-new eyes, and it is a glorious sight to behold.”

Not even the pain clearly displayed upon Vybius’s lovely face could dissuade my happiness.

“Your words ring more true then you realize, my love,” Vindicus said.

“Yes, he speaks a truth you have not yet comprehended, oh beautiful one. I will always give thanks I was blessed enough to witness your enchantingly magical rebirth. It tears at my soul,” Vybius said. “But I would rather sacrifice my eyes than to have been denied seeing your miracle first hand.”

“Why do you tease me at such a time? Do you wish me to blush more than I already am?”

“Ahh, tiny Angel, your rosy cheeks are lovely and innocent.” Vindicus smiled as he spoke. “But what my brother says is not in jest. Look, my love.”

He turned me toward the giant beveled mirror matching the one I once stood in front of in Vanahirdem as I stared at my blackened eyes and emaciated form. Today though, the looking glass displayed an astonishingly different picture of who I was… and of who I was becoming.

There, before my eyes, my fair skin was fading ever paler, as marbled stone. My beautiful golden curls—that had gotten me into as much trouble as they’d gotten me out of—were changing as well.

“What is it? What’s happening to me?”

“You are being reborn, remade,” Vindicus whispered. “You are displaying on the outside what was made new within.”

Vybius approached me. “More than that, my love, you are becoming the Angel you were always meant to be.”

I looked back to my reflection, anxiously watching. My skin slowly took on a faint effervescent glow and many of my long, loose curls changed to varying shades of vibrant pink.

I gasped. “…Wow.”

“Wow is right. I would not have thought it possible, Anicee, but you are becoming even more beautiful than imaginable.”

“Oh, stop it, Vindicus.” I blushed brightly, pretending to push away his loving arms.

“Your husband does not jest, lovely Angel. Your radiance causes my tongue to go dumb within my mouth. There are no words befitting your ethereal description. Your beautiful new markings surpass all within this realm… or any realm I have ever known.”

“I can never live up to those words, Vybius, you go too far. You are both unduly prejudice in my regard.”

I looked at my dear friend, tears spilling forth down his angelic cheeks. Taking his magical hand in mine, I pulled him close to me, wrapping one arm around his thin waist. Vindicus growled. I elbowed him.

The three of us watched as half my curls turned the most alluring shades of pink I had ever seen. Perhaps you would name them fuchsia or magenta, I wasn’t certain. My skin paled and pulsed until it perfectly matched the ethereal creatures standing with me.

“But look at your eyes,” Vybius whispered.

I focused then upon the strange pink and azure orbs staring back at me. I leaned closer. They reminded me of Alzeen’s. His were a vibrant green with rusty golden flames encircling them. Mine were the same pink as my new curls, encompassed about with as glorious and bright a sapphire as my angelic husband’s eyes boasted.

“You got the blue from me,” he whispered.

“…Wow,” was all I could manage to say.

Chapter 19

Jenevier

(ZHEN-ah-veer)

Okay, dear Reader, you’re probably at the point where you’re saying, “What in the hell is going on?”

Well, basically, I was stressing over watching what went on in my life while I was absent from it—roaming the eighth layer. So I went into the temple just to calm my nerves. All I
actually
accomplished was remembering my lost husband, Varick, and how much I truly loved and missed him.

So… I started my own little pity party and it quickly turned into a self-destructive downward spiral. Then to help me out with reality and keep me from stressing over the terrifying unknown, God let me in on a little dose of my own reality. I couldn’t handle it. I took it to the dark side, so to speak. I blamed everyone and everything for my bad luck. I hosted one great big giant poor-poor-pitiful-me-party and drank all the spiked punch I could swallow.

Basically, I snapped, in a
big
way. And what did I do? I took it out on God and on my new friends. Neither of which had
any
part to play in this little fiasco that was my life. Yet, that is what we very flawed humans do. We take it all out on the people who care about us the most, the ones
we
care about the most. Why do we do that?
Why did I do that
? Simple, I felt sorry for myself. I was in pain so I lashed out. No excuses. It was probably the second worst thing I have ever done. I’m still so ashamed.

If you learn nothing else from all the horrible mistakes I’ve recorded here, please, walk away from this book determined not to harm the people who love you. No matter how bad your day has been, no matter how horrible you think life has treated you… hurt not the innocent. Harm none.

What I ended up accomplishing was this. I hurt a bunch of people who didn’t deserve it. I completely destroyed myself. I literally cracked. I broke a dear friend’s heart and I physically tore apart the face of the man destined to be mine. But in spite of all this, God used my self-destruction to heal me, to make me better than I was.

You see, we all have flaws, everyone does, even the Vanir. It doesn’t matter how attractive, smart, funny, strong, or young you are… you’re
not
perfect. I was so horribly flawed on the
inside
, it’s like I was walking around just waiting for one more thing to happen. It really didn’t matter how big or how little that one thing was, it would completely shatter the fragile glass figurine that was
Jenevier.

But sometimes that’s just what has to take place. We have to hit rock bottom before we’re humbled enough to let God fix what needs to be fixed, change what needs to be changed.

So, that’s what happened. I broke and God fixed me. Simple as that.

The odd twist that provoked my
physical
changing has two parts, I believe. No one can tell me for sure. First, I broke someone else too, my dear friend, Vindicus. Because of me, he had to be fixed as well. So we were
fixed
together. And we sort of… blended.

The people living on layer eight have something they call DNA. It’s the stuff they’re made of. So if you can imagine taking two layer eight’s DNA, pouring them together into a big pot of healing water, and stirring it just a little, that’s what happened to me and Vindicus.

The second part of my
twist
was my destiny… it changed. I’m not sure if the destiny change was part of my punishment or part of something bigger. Like when I became Vashti, I couldn’t return to Ashgard because I wasn’t just Jenevier anymore. My home no longer fit me. Now that I’m another new creature, Vanahirdem no longer fits because I’m not just Jenevier and I’m not just Vashti. Not anymore.

As for being Vanir, I’m having a real hard time figuring out how to explain this sensation. Imagine you were eating your favorite food, then someone flips your taste buds on. You had no idea your taste buds were off in the first place. You already loved the way your delicious treat tasted. But then in a heartbeat, everything about it was magnified. What you thought was delicious before, now suddenly explodes with such flavor your knees tremble. Well, that’s pretty much the difference in being human and being Vanir. Everything tastes better, everything looks sharper, every emotion is felt deeper, and every bond is so much stronger. The Vanir experience all the same things humans do, but their senses are heightened. Their appreciation of each experience is cherished, nurtured. I guess you could say the Vanir hold
all
things precious, appreciating life to the fullest.

Yet, there is always a bitter pill to be swallowed when drastic, unexpected changes occur.

And me? Well, I had a double dose. My bitter pills were Varick and Vybius.

Varick goes without saying. Actually, the pain is still so great, even mentioning it leaves cracks in my fragile soul. He loved me since before I was born, protected me the whole of my life. Never had I felt such a bond as the one we shared. Not just because part of me was made from him. I loved him because he first loved me. He showed me how wonderful it was to love and be loved. Varick and Alzeen, together, made up the exquisite being that completed Jenevier, made her whole, gave her strength, helped her become the creature she was.

But I was no longer
just
Jenevier. She would always be my base self, I suppose. But now that the shell of Jenevier had been filled with a whole new person, mixed with a whole new Angel, I was irrecoverably changed. And Varick? Well, he now loved another. He had a new Anicee. He would be fine without me.

My second bitter pill was Vybius. Now, I’ve told you before how my first look into Vybius’s mesmerizing eyes had made me weak. Not to mention the glances I stole at his perfect body when I thought he wasn’t aware. These warm feelings were only compounded by his tender, loving actions toward me.

This rare Guardian went without food or rest for days while I was lost in the darkness, holding constant vigil at my side. His voice alone brought me back from the void place. My fondness and appreciation only grew for him when he gently bathed and prepared me for the council meeting. And I very nearly loved him when he looked into my soul. Well, after my anger subsided and I realized this man saw every hidden secret, every dark thought within my heart, and it only made him care all the more. That thought alone gave him an honored place in my heart as my true blood brother. Because family, well, they accept us… no matter what, most times.

Ugh… I get so frustrated with this language sometimes. It’s a pitiful one when it comes to describing love. There are as many shades of love as there are shades of hate. Love doesn’t always mean
love
. Sometimes it means more, sometimes less. An ancient people on layer eight wrote much about love. But their tongue doesn’t flow well with mine and proves rather hard to translate. For instance, they had at least four different ways to describe their varying affections. Agápe was the word they used when they were talking about an infinite, unconditional, spiritual, unrequited
feast
of love. Which was much different than the natural affection you feel for blood kin—storgē… sort of along the lines of
blood’s thicker than water
. You love them because they’re family, doesn’t always mean that you like them though. Erōs is that passionate, erotic, physical, sexual kind of love you share with your partner. And then philía is the loyal, affectionate, devoted love you have for your friends.

Looking back on Vybius, I knew the very moment I actually felt pangs of a growing, morphing kind of
love
for this most beautiful heavenly sentinel. It was when he sat down in the floor in the middle of that crowded chamber hall—unashamed, caring only for my comfort—and gently patted the spot next to him. I knew instantly he loved me and that he would always protect me, even to his own shame or detriment. I did love him for that.

I was grieved by this knowledge. Grieved by the loss of something spectacular that had only just started between us, but wasn’t allowed to grow… not given enough time to flourish.

Alas, this is a new day, a new beginning in my life.

I would always bitterly mourn the loss of Varick, of my Alzeen, and of the part of me that would ever hold him dear. But my change was now complete. I was
more
than I had been. The naïve little girl
he
knew, the one that giggled and blushed and played, the one he treasured in his noble heart… she was gone.

Ugh… I hate regret. It ranks right at the top of my bitter pill list.

But I also knew, beyond everything else in the world, I loved Vindicus. Please, don’t expect further explanation, I have not the proper words. He is
in
me, a part of me. Loving him is as natural as breathing, as comfortable as bare feet in the sand. How do you explain something like that? You can’t. You have to experience it.

Know this. Being of like-mind with another person and then removing any and all societal deemed boundaries; you can freely love with a passion that cannot be controlled or defined. It is gloriously terrifying. Just feeling his every emotion was gloriously terrifying. We orbited one another, unconsciously reacted to the other, answered unspoken words between us. We were the couple that made everyone else around us uncomfortable. When he moved, I moved. When he laughed for no reason,
I
was the reason. We lived inside each other, inside our connected minds. Our bodies danced about, going through the necessary motions of life—physical proof of our existence. Yet we lived
inside
ourselves. We were our own world.

Ultimate trust—have you ever truly thought about it? No, probably not. Most people haven’t experienced such a thing since they were a babe in their mother’s loving arms. It will never cross a child’s innocent mind that harm will come to them via their gentle mother. Now, as an adult, place that kind of ultimate trust in another being. No reservations, no limits. Can you even fathom doing such a thing? We are, by our very nature, flawed. How can you place complete trust in a flawed creature?

You tell me, Reader. Is that not a terrifying thought?

Well, it’s even more so when you act upon it. When you actually
live
it, daily.