Blind Delusion (31 page)

“What are you talking about?” Renee asked with concern. “Where are you now?”

“I’m still at work, but I had to come outside to call you from my cell phone because I think our desk phones are being recorded on the pretense that we’re not suppose to be using business lines for personal calls. Whatever,” said Veda glibly. Then, she continued explaining her purpose for calling. “I only have five minutes. I’m on my last break of the day, so let me get right to the point.” Veda sucked in a deep breath and let it out before resuming. “A few weeks ago I was taking my normal cigarette break when I saw Brenda’s husband, you know Jerome, right?”

“Actually, I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting the gentleman,” said Renee. “I only know what Brenda has shared with me.”

“Okay, I can tell from what you just said Dr. Renee that you don’t know much about Jerome Johnson,” said Veda, with an edge of sarcasm. “Anyway, like I said I saw Jerome outside talking to these three hood rats. I keep to myself around there, and I usually go to this isolated spot, pass the loading dock and across from an alley that sits between these two huge warehouse-looking buildings. It stays kinda dark in that alley no matter what time of day it is because those two big buildings block out the sun.”

“Umhum,” Renee responded, with the cell phone barely touching her ear.

“Anyway, to make a long story short that’s where I saw them, standing not more than 25 feet away from me at the end of the alley. I also noticed a blue Jaguar XK8 parked off from the street and I assume that was their ride.”

“Whah … What … did you do?” Renee said in a groggy voice, now starting to feel the effects of the Lexapro she had taken earlier in the afternoon.

“I didn’t make a sound, Dr. Renee. I just stood back, watched and listened. One of ‘em was short, dark and had a head full of crinkly dreads. He had a little pointed face like a rat and he was the one all up in Jerome’s face. Rat-face was threatening him about something but I couldn’t make out what they were arguing about because I wanted to keep back and make sure they didn’t look up the alley and spot me eavesdropping on them. The other fella was this fine baby-faced Brother and he seemed to be the one in charge. And, the third dude could have been Puerto Rican or Mexican or something. But they all looked like they had criminal intent on their mind.”

“You know … that wasn’t smart, Veda,” Renee said just above a whisper, “You being there.”

“I know. I know. I didn’t stick around long because I wasn’t sure if they were gonna drive back up the alley where I was standing. So I slipped away quietly. I haven’t told anybody but you until just now.”

“Are you absolutely sure no one saw you?”

“Umm … I’m pretty sure,” said Veda, unconvincingly. “Later that day, I tried to find Jerome in the break room to talk to him about it, but someone said he had gone out on a last minute run to deliver some packages. Dr. Renee, I don’t know if I should tell Brenda what I saw or just keep my nose out of it. That was a few weeks ago and rumor has it that Jerome got fired for drug use. Those dudes in the alley looked like drug dealers to me. Maybe everything blew over and Jerome’s got it under control. Brenda’s my girl and all. I don’t wanna worry her for no good reason. But that husband of hers has a habit of getting himself into trouble. Besides, Brenda gets a little testy whenever me or Cha-Cha try to give her advice where Jerome is concerned. What do you think I should do, Dr. Renee? Should I just try to forget about it?”

After having listened as closely as she could to the entire story, Renee said, “What do you think you should do, Veda?”

“Damnit, Dr. Renee,” Veda shouted, “Can you for once not act like my shrink? I need you to tell me what to do. Brenda’s one of my best friends and she’s your secretary for Chrissakes. I thought you cared about her. Was I wrong to assume that?” Renee could feel Veda’s irritation with her. She knew Veda wanted a direct answer based on her professional opinion but Renee was in no position to give any more advice today. She began to feel tightness in her chest and shortness of breath. She placed her hand over her heart and recognized the familiar symptoms of anxiety. She took shallow breaths while staring at the bottle of Lexapro that rested on its side within her open nightstand drawer and debated whether or not she should take another pill. Right now she knew of nothing else that could so quickly and effectively knock out this enormous pain she was feeling. Tears welled up in her eyes and she blinked a few times to see more clearly. She grabbed a handful of tissues from the box on the nightstand and pressed the tissues to her face to try to mask the sound of her sobbing and sniffles. She hoped Veda would simply say good-bye and hang up. As long as she didn’t have to utter any more words, perhaps she could keep it together for a few moments longer. Veda was already upset with her so what did it matter if she remained silent on the line?

“Dr. Renee? Are you there?” Renee could tell that Veda’s voice had softened. “You’re not crying are you? You are crying! Tell me what’s wrong. I’m sorry I yelled at you. I had no right to do that. Dr. Renee? Dr. Renee! I know you didn’t hang up. Speak it me.” Veda talked into empty air because Renee was afraid that her voice would betray her if she tried to speak now. She took a deep breath and wiped her face with more tissue. The one balled up in her palm was completely drenched from her tears. Finally, she attempted to speak because Veda would apparently not hang up. “I … nothing. I’m … okay.” She managed to stammer out between sniffles.

“The hell you are!” said Veda. “You don’t sound okay to me. I’m coming right over there. It’s almost time for me to punch out. I’m going back inside my building long enough to lock up my desk. I dare Odessa Dillon to give me some grief about leaving a few minutes early. And, screw Doctor-Patient whatever the hell ya’ll call it. I’m not your patient anymore, Dr. Renee—I’m your friend. I’ll be over there in ten minutes. You need a shoulder to cry on, Girl. And Veda’s gonna be right on over there so go unlock the front door for me.”

“No! … No, Veda. Please … Don’t jeopardize your job by leaving early,” begged Renee. “There’s no need. Really, I’ll be fine. I just had … I just …” Despite trying so hard to keep it together, Renee suddenly lost it. She dropped the phone on her bed and allowed her tears to flow freely. Despite her protests to the contrary, she was actually glad that Veda was on her way.

Chapter 21 - Brenda
 

B
y 9:00
am
Brenda arrived at work thirty minutes late. Her arrival would have been even later had she dropped off Baby Buddha at Mrs. Walker’s, his new babysitter. Fortunately, Jerome, who was still out of work, offered to take their son to the babysitter’s for her this morning. That was only fair since arguing with him had caused her to be late in the first place. Brenda felt bad about hurting Jerome’s feelings when he had asked if their son could stay home with his daddy today. Jerome had tried to convince her that the new babysitter she had hired was not reliable, but Brenda knew very well that it was her husband who was not reliable. As she waited for the computer to boot up, she sipped her coffee and thought about Jerome’s recent accusation against the babysitter. “
You know Baby, I called over there yesterday to see how my son was doin’ and I could hear him in the background cryin’ his little heart out,”
Jerome had complained to her. Brenda easily recalled their conversation as she had hurriedly tried to get dressed for work.

“That’s what baby’s do, Jerome—they cry. Mrs. Walker is wonderful with kids. Whenever I pick Justin up in the evenings, he’s always dry, fed, and happy,” Brenda had said, dismissing his allegations.

The image of Jerome sulking while sitting up in bed with the covers draped over his knees came back to her, along with the sting of his words. “He’s my son too, Brenda! I wanna spend time with him while I can. It wasn’t my fault I got fired! I can take care of Baby Buddha better than some stranger.”

“Well Jerome, if you think you’re capable enough to handle a three month old baby by yourself then you’re certainly capable of finding another job! Just focus on that, will you?” She had regretted what she said when she saw the look of betrayal on his face, but it was too late to take it back once she had said it.

Brenda had tried to soften the blow and reason with him. “Taking care of Justin is not as easy as you think. I have to think of his welfare first. Babysitting him for an entire day might be too much for you right now.”

There was no mistaking the hurt and anger in Jerome’s voice as he gave her a cutting glare. “That’s bullshit! You just don’t trust me with my own son. You believe what those fools at UDS said about me failing that drug test. But it’s all a lie. I swear it.”

Brenda had looked at the clock next to the bed and realized she was running late. When Jerome offered to pack Justin up in his car seat and drive him over to Mrs. Walker’s this morning, she reluctantly said yes. She supposed it was a small compromise.

It was good that no patients were on the appointment book today. The office would be quiet since Dr. Renee had taken the day off, which was not like her, thought Brenda. With nothing to distract her, she could knock out one of her assignments for the MCSE class that she was taking online to earn her Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer (MCSE) certification. She spread the installation manual out on her desk and followed each network setup procedure carefully. The dialogue boxes on the menu screen displayed the exact outcome as her manual instructed. It took two hours to configure a successful network connection linking Dr. Renee’s PC in the reception area to Mr. Hayes’s computer in his office. Both PCs could now share data, the printer, and had access to each other’s hard drive. Brenda felt confident that one day soon she would be qualified to apply for a high-paying technical position. Although, she still had to complete several more courses in her MCSE training program, she had just accomplished a successful network configuration without a hitch. She smiled at her accomplishment.

She began browsing around the newly networked system to see what capabilities her administrator security access allowed. That’s when Brenda discovered that Mr. Hayes’s PC also linked up to a central server for a corporate account. She checked the profile on the account, and its registered owner was listed as Clifton C. Shaw, Techands Inc., Arlington, Virginia. Brenda saw that access to the company’s central server allowed Mr. Hayes, the operations manager, to see all the emails, electronic file attachments and PalmPilot™ files under Shaw’s userid. That meant that anyone else connected to the server could also see this data. Brenda felt uncomfortable having complete access to corporate files. It had taken most of the morning to complete step one, the network connection. Now Brenda wanted to hurry up and tackle the last task on her class assignment sheet, which was to restore the hard drives to their previous state and thus, remove her access to corporate files. This step, she would be relieved to complete.

Having missed breakfast, Brenda took a bite of the ham and cheese sandwich that she had packed for her lunch then resumed working. Without removing her fingers from the keyboard, she briefly glanced at the clock. With any luck she’d be finished with her class assignment, the filing, and record keeping and be ready to leave work by four o’clock. The restoration process proceeded as expected, but she quickly realized it required total concentration. Brenda had to repeatedly switch between display screens to modify the settings. The sudden ringing of the telephone intruded on the silence and broke her focus. The light flashed on her private work line. She recognized the babysitter’s name, Mrs. Walker, on the caller id panel and quickly picked up the telephone, causing her to lose track of her place in the restore process. That couldn’t be helped now. She wanted to find out how Justin was doing. “Brenda Johnson,” she answered.

“Uh, Ms. Johnson. This Ms. Walker …”

“Is Justin all right?” asked Brenda, interrupting.

“Huh? Well, I dunno. I suppose so. Your husband called this morning to say he was keepin’ the baby home today. I just wanna make sure you understand you still gotta pay me for a full week on Friday,” the babysitter said. “I just now got a chance to call you. I been busy with these kids all day. I figure your husband already told you what I told him this mornin’, but just in case he didn’t I wanted us to be on the same page so to speak.”

Brenda did not let on that she didn’t already know about Jerome’s decision to keep Justin home. She assured Mrs. Walker that she would indeed be paid for a full week and that Justin would be there tomorrow. She would deliver him there herself. After hanging up the phone, Brenda stared at the computer monitor but could not recall which machine was currently active. Her mind was distracted now that she knew Jerome had lied about dropping Baby Justin off at the sitter’s. Why hadn’t he called to tell her? Of course, he knew she’d be pissed. She immediately called home and got a busy signal. She wasn’t sure what to do next. She couldn’t leave the restoration process incomplete, could she? This was the last leg of the restoration phase, yet a terrible feeling that had suddenly come over her, would not go away. She frantically dialed home again expecting to get an answer this time. She let the phone ring and ring but the voicemail did not come on and Jerome did not pick up. Her uneasiness mounted. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and tried the number again, much slower this time just in case her feelings of uncertainly and dread had caused her to miss-dial. Again, there was nothing but constant ringing. The insides of her stomach began to tighten. Brenda didn’t take the time to shutdown the computer. She left the restoration step undone and retrieved her coat and bag from the closet, locked the front door, and rushed home.

Brenda tried to drive home cautiously but kept noticing the speedometer inch above the speed limit. She resisted the urge to run through every yellow light as well as the red ones. Red-light cameras were clearly visible at several major intersections and were the only thing stopping her from outright speeding. She tried to stay calm and think of a reasonable explanation for why Jerome had not answered the telephone. Maybe he had taken Justin out for a stroller ride in the park she told herself. But for some reason this possibility didn’t assuage her growing fear.