Blind Faith (13 page)

Suspicion began to nibble at the edges of nerves that were already frayed.
 
“How could you have planned a date for Saturday if you weren’t with her tonight?”
 
 
 
 

“She called me on my cell, and the only reason I agreed to go out with her was to buy some time so I could figure out her game plan.”

“You gave her your number,” Serena said dully.
 
That didn’t sound like the actions of a man who wanted to avoid having anything to do with McKinley.

“I did
not
give her my number,” Will denied with vehemence.
 
“
S
he got it when she was storing her number into my phone."

"You...you asked
 
for
her
number?"
 
 
A violent tremor surged through her when she realized how stupid she’d been to fall for his lies.
 
“You’re just like all the other men McKinley has wrapped around her finger,” she accused.
 

“It’s not like that,” Will snapped, then immediately softened his tone.
 
“Please…just let me explain how it happened.”

Serena shook her head.
 
She’d heard enough.
 
“Go away, Will.
 
I’m tired and want to go to sleep now.”
 

“I know what you’re doing, Serena, but it’s not going to work.
 
You’re deliberately jumping to the wrong conclusions and refusing to hear me out because you’re afraid to believe it’s
you
I want to be with and not McKinley.
 
Well, I’m not going to let you push me away, and I’m not going to leave this room until you listen to what I have to say.”

Serena didn’t know what shocked her more; that he’d been so disturbingly accurate in what he said about her behavior
,
or that he refused to leave her room.
 
She considered ordering him out but didn’t have the heart to hurt him that way, which only proved she didn’t believe the things she’d accused him of any more than he did.
 
Serena realized something else too; getting into a relationship with Will scared her, but she was even more afraid of losing him.

“All right, I’ll listen,” she relented, “but only because you won’t go away until I do.”

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
                                         
***

The knots in his stomach began to unravel the moment Serena agreed to listen to him.
 
Not that he’d given her much of a choice, but he didn’t dare leave
her
with so many unanswered questions for fear she
would
draw her own conclusions and shut him out completely.
 
He didn’t hesitate to launch into an explanation of how he’d run into McKinley at Rose’s house
and
how she managed to get his phone number and rope him into a date.
 
Serena listened intently, and though she was obviously puzzled by some of the things he told her, she remained silent until he was done.

Serena was thoughtful for a moment. 
“I guess I can understand your reasons for not wanting to rile McKinley until you know what little scheme she’s cooking up, but I’m still confused about a couple of other things.
 
Like…why you went to Rose’s house in the first place, and if McKinley had just finished telling her the two of you were…an item, what made Rose think
she
needed to lie for you?
 
And in case you didn’t notice, Rose is a horrible liar so I
would
be surprised if McKinley was fooled.”

Will grimaced.
 
“I don’t think I was very convincing either
,
but McKinley was so preoccupied with mauling me at the time, I don’t think she noticed.
 
Rose knew McKinley lied about me, and when it became obvious I needed rescuing, she made up that story about the roof needing repairs.”

A
smile played on Serena’s lips.
 
“Rose always did see right through McKinley, and nothing tickles her more than letting McKinley know she isn’t as clever as she thinks she is.”

“Then I guess I’m lucky to have Rose’s help.”

“Is that why you went there, to ask for her advice about McKinley?”

This was it, the moment Will had both anticipated and dreaded since he’d first approached Rose and told her how he felt about Serena.
 
He’d played this out in his mind a million times, knew every word he was going to say, had considered every possible response and how he
would
parry it.
 
Now, looking at Serena and knowing what he was about to say could destroy her trust forever, the speech he’d so carefully planned seemed too contrived, too emotionless, when nothing could be farther from the truth.
 
His emotions where running so high right now he was surprised Serena couldn’t hear the whir as they charged up and threatened to overload.

“No, that’s not why I went to see Rose,” his voice was thick, uneven, and Serena picked up on it immediately.

“What is it, Will?”
 
Her hand inched across the bed and found his.
 
“Tell me…please.”

“I…have a confession to make.
 
A few of them, actually.”
 
His throat constricted but the warmth of her slender hand in his gave him the courage to go on.
 
“It wasn’t a coincidence, this house becoming available at the same time you made the decision to try living on your own.
 
And Rose convincing you it was a good idea to take in a housemate just as I was looking for a place to live was no coincidence either.”

Serena was visibly shaken but she didn’t try to pull her hand away from his.
 
Will watched her closely as she absorbed what he’d said, the lines on her forehead gradually smoothing out as comprehension set in.
 
She didn’t respond right away, and there wasn’t anything about her outward appearance to indicate what she was feeling, but when Rufus got up and flopped his head over the side of the mattress, Will knew Serena’s emotions were just as turbulent as his were.

“I didn’t lie,” he said softly.
 
“I
had
planned on moving out of the place I was in for months but hadn’t been able to find the time to look around.
 
Rose knew I wasn’t happy about where I was living but none of her rentals were available at the time.
 
Then about a year ago, she asked me to stop by and told me about this house and how she was having it remodeled to accommodate your needs.”

Serena’s eyebrows shot up.
 
“Are you telling me Rose started remodeling this place
five
months before she and I even discussed my moving in here?”

“She was concerned your family had become so overprotective you
would
never be able to function on your own if she didn’t get you out of there.
 
Rose was sure you
would
take her up on her offer and promised to present the idea of having me as a housemate after you had time to adjust to living on your own.”

“I don’t think I’m getting the big picture,” Serena said.
 
“I understand why Rose wanted me to move here, but why hide the fact she’d already had it remodeled?
 
Why did she offer to rent the upper half to you before she knew I would agree to move in, and why were you willing to wait indefinitely if you were so anxious to get out of the situation you were in?”

“She was afraid you
would
balk at moving in if you didn’t think it was your own idea.
 
And she came to me because…” Will stopped abruptly.
 
He had to get this right
,
and blurting it out wasn’t the way to go.
 
“Serena, the truth is, I have been in regular contact with Rose since graduating from high school.
 
You see, once Anthony and Sawyer went off to college, there weren’t very many opportunities to get together
,
which meant I didn’t have anyone who could tell me how you were doing.”

Serena’s voice was incredulous.
 
“You kept in touch with Rose because of
me
?”

“I had to know that you were okay
.  A
nd once I explained to Rose how I felt about you, she was happy to do it.”

“Will…what are saying?”

“I’m saying the feelings I have for you didn’t develop over the past six weeks since I moved in
.  T
hey started a long time ago.
 
I didn’t realize it until that night in the cave when I picked you up and held you.
 
Seeing you like that, seeing how they’d hurt you…it damn near killed me, Serena.”

“But you never came to see me,” she said in a tremulous voice.
 
“You just…disappeared from my life.”

“I didn’t want to, Serena, you have to believe that.
 
You needed time to heal, time to grow up and conquer some of the fears that kept you from leaving the security of your parent’s house.
 
So I waited.”

“
For seven years?
 
Why?
 
Why would you do that when you had no idea if I would ever feel the same way for you?”

“I’m not sure I can explain it.
 
Logica
lly, I knew it was a huge gamble
.
 
I told myself it was insane to hang onto a dream for so long when there was every possibility you would never see me as anything but a friend.
 
Then I’d remember the way you used to
look at me and how it made me feel when I was able to coax a smile out of you, and any doubts I had would disappear.”
 

Will was fully aware he was rambling but couldn’t seem to stop himself.
 
As long as he kept talking, he could control the gnawing fear that Serena would order him out of her room, or worse, out of her life.
 
He knew he wouldn’t remember half of what he was saying
,
but every word came straight from his heart
.  I
t wasn’t until he noticed the shimmer of tears in Serena’s eyes that he realized he’d thrown too much at her at one time.

“Serena, I’m sorry.
 
I shouldn’t have…”

“No, don’t apologize.
 
I’m glad you told me, but I…I don’t want to talk anymore.”

Will’s heart plummeted.
 
“You’re right.
 
It’s late and I’ve given you a lot think about.
 
I didn’t mean to unload everything all at once
.  I
t’s just that I’ve held it in for so long and…well, I didn't want to let another day go by without telling you.”

"I've got to be honest with you, Will, I'm scared.
 
I'm trying not
 
to be but I can't help it."

"I know," he said softly, "but you don't have to be afraid of me, Serena.
 
I would
never
try to pressure you into anything you weren't ready for.
 
You set the pace, take all the time you need...just promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Promise you'll let
 
me know the second you're ready to take our relationship to the next level because I have to tell you
…
I really, really want to kiss you."
 
Color bloomed in Serena's cheeks and when she spoke, there was the same, sweet shyness
 
Will remembered from their youth.

"I'm not sure I'll ever be ready for the type of relationship you're hoping for, Will.
 
But if you're sure you want to give this a try then I have to tell you...I really, really want to kiss you too."