Blind Hearts and Silenced Passion (4 page)

Remy had been more than ready for it, since he'd heard Baqir
open the tube of lubricant he'd found earlier. Still, he couldn't help a
whimper of pained pleasure at the intimate touch. Given what they'd just done
earlier, one would think that Remy would be a little less shocked by the
pleasure Baqir brought out inside him, but that wasn't the case. If anything,
Remy suspected he would never grow immune to Baqir, no matter how much time
they spent together.

That train of thought came to a grinding halt when Baqir's
wicked fingers found Remy's prostate. A shock of pleasure swept over Remy,
almost like a real lightning zap. Somehow, the touch seemed to echo in every
cell of his body, and in a paradoxical development, it both cleared his head
and made him even more lost in the ecstasy.

Maybe it would have been more accurate to say that the touch
wiped away everything
but
the pleasure, but right now, Remy couldn't
even process the concept of accuracy. Mostly, his mind rotated around a litany
of 'yes', 'now', 'come on', 'more', and of course, 'claim me'.

His impatience must have shown, because Baqir didn't waste
too much time with stretching him. He did add a third finger to the ones
already pleasuring him and scissored them inside Remy, but as Remy started
becoming more and more frantic and clawing at the pillows, Baqir finally
succumbed as well.

He pulled his digits out of Remy and flipped him on his back.
Remy now found himself facing Baqir, and oh, he definitely agreed with his
lover's choice. From this angle, he could get a good look at Baqir's face. The
heat in Baqir's eyes was like molten lava coursing through Remy's veins, making
the fire of passion between them flare even hotter and brighter.

Wordlessly, Baqir lifted Remy's legs on his shoulders. Remy
was practically bent in half, but he didn't mind in the slightest, not when he
was so close to getting what he wanted.

And then, Baqir was sliding into him, his dick piercing
Remy's body, and it was everything Remy had hoped for and more. Baqir moved
slowly, giving him time to adjust, all the while keeping his eyes fixed on
Remy's face. In that moment, Remy thought that truly, it would be so easy to
fall in love with this man.

Shaking with tremors of need and with the powerful
realization, Remy clung to Baqir's shoulders and gave his lover a nod. He was trying
to tell Baqir that it was okay to move, but maybe the gesture was also meant
for himself, to acknowledge the fact that he didn't need to be afraid. This, he
could trust. Even now, with his rational side still taking a holiday, Remy knew
that he and Baqir were meant to be.

Baqir didn't delay in taking him up on the invitation. He
pulled out of Remy, and then thrust back inside, aiming for Remy's prostate. He
hit it in one try.

Remy's world cracked and shattered under the assault of bliss
that followed. He'd have liked to at least be able to say Baqir's name, or the
occasional 'more', 'please', but he had been reduced to incoherent noises.
Baqir's heat was burning him from the inside out. With every motion his lover
made, the pleasure kept rising, spiraling higher and higher—until even thinking
became difficult, let alone vocalizing said thoughts.

Baqir's hold on him was so tight, and his gaze felt fierce
and possessive, almost like he was claiming Remy just by looking at him. If
anyone could do it, Remy idly thought, it was likely Baqir. His lover's
intensity was such that Remy felt increasingly less like himself and more like
a vessel of pleasure, the focal point of Baqir's strength. It might have scared
him if it hadn't been so freeing, so right.

He wanted, wanted, wanted… something more… but he wasn't
quite there, couldn't think, couldn't know. And then, Baqir shoved his dick
inside Remy so hard Remy's teeth rattled. A husky murmur echoed in Remy's ear,
"Come for me, Remy."

The sound of his name on Baqir's lips finally made Remy
tumble into climax, even if he suspected there was something else he had been
waiting for. He couldn't dwell on it too much, because the moment he came, his
ass muscles clenched around Baqir's prick, triggering Baqir's own orgasm.

His lover snarled above him, a sound that seemed like a cross
between Remy's name and something deeper, more beast-like. The head of Baqir's
dick expanded into a knot that kept them bound together, all the while
stimulating Remy's prostate. It prolonged Remy's climax beyond what he'd
thought possible, and he cried out, trembled and fought through an onslaught of
pleasure unlike anything he'd ever felt before.

Even when that bliss faded into something more sedate, Baqir
still stayed inside him. He rolled them over, curling around Remy, his knot
keeping them together—not that Remy had any interest in moving away.

He simply lay there, catching his breath, struggling to
gather his scattered thoughts. It didn't really work—and he knew there was
something he should probably be remembering—but maybe it could wait. He felt so
safe in Baqir's arms, like a broken part of him had finally been mended. Or
maybe he had simply been empty, and now, he'd found the piece of him that had
been missing.

He feared that he would lose that piece again when Baqir slid
out of him, but that wasn't the case at all. Baqir just tightened his hold on
him and kissed his neck. "Sleep. Sleep, Remy."

Smiling, Remy threaded his fingers through Baqir's.
"Stay with me."

Baqir didn't reply, at least not through words. He simply
curled closer to Remy, and that was enough, a wordless promise that Baqir would
still be there when Remy awoke.

Reassured, Remy closed his eyes and slept.

Chapter Three

When Baqir stirred from his slumber, the first thing he
became aware of was the warmth. He didn't particularly like sleeping in cold
places, but that didn't mean he'd never done it. Just the same, this heat was
different from anything Baqir had experienced before. It extended from his skin
and reached all the way into him, melting the ice that had settled around his
heart.

It wasn't hard to figure out the reason. It must have been
only the surprise and the hefty level of disbelief that had allowed him to get
confused to begin with. His mate was in his arms, still sleeping, his body
curled against Baqir's own.

Memories flashed through his mind, and he groaned—although he
couldn't quite pinpoint the emotion that made him utter the sound. He knew that
he and Remy should have talked about the elephants in the room, that he—and
quite possibly Remy as well—were supposed to be doing investigative work on the
humans. Instead, they'd chosen to get drunk on a mysterious tea not even
Baqir's nose could identify, and had proceeded to fuck each other's brains out.
Good call, Baqir. Not.

And yet, Baqir found that at a fundamental level, he didn't
regret any of it. How could he when holding his mate felt so right? He'd waited
for this for so long—even when he had told himself he wasn't and he had thought
it would never happen. Why couldn't he be selfish and take it now that he'd
found it?

Further, he was proud of the fact that he hadn't actually
claimed Remy. They'd both been intoxicated and had just met. Even if they were
mates, they couldn't jump into something so serious, especially given the very
dangerous circumstances of Baqir's presence in Remy's city.

By his side, his mate stirred, finally waking from his
slumber. Like Baqir, he froze for a few moments as he obviously processed what
had happened between them. Finally, he turned in Baqir's embrace, curling
against him and looking up at his face. "What are you thinking so hard
about?" he asked without preamble.

"You," Baqir replied, marveling at how Remy could
so easily shatter the barriers of his secrecy. "Us."

Remy furrowed his brow. "Oh, that sounds serious. Should
I be worried?"

"It depends," Baqir replied honestly. "Do you
want to have me in your life?"

"Of course. What kind of question is that?"

"A genuine one." Baqir cupped Remy's cheek and
kissed his forehead, wanting nothing more than to banish Remy's concern.
"I want to be with you too. I realize this won't be easy, but... Things
have changed."

He had trouble explaining exactly how his world had tilted on
its axis within the past twelve hours. Before he'd run into Remy, he'd
genuinely thought nothing was more important than taking down the human
conspiracy. It was all to protect his brother and his family. But now, for the
first time in Baqir's life, Erdi had slid down to second place in his
priorities.

He was not good at emotions, and he wasn't sure how to
explain everything that was in his heart without sounding like he was rejecting
Remy. He wrapped his arm around Remy's shoulders, holding him tighter as he
tried to gather his thoughts.

"I told you yesterday that I didn't want to be a
silencer, but for the moment, that's exactly what I am. And I'm needed, Remy.
There are things happening, things that unsettle me greatly, and I get this
feeling like I'm missing something big, like I'm being watched from the shadows.
The humans have already made it clear that they're dangerous." He paused,
considering his following words. "I've never been afraid of them—but I am
now, not for myself, but for you."

Remy's soft hand landed on his chest, straight over his
heart. "Here's the thing, Qiri. You don't have to do it all alone, and you
don't have to be afraid. I might not be a silencer, but I'm not helpless
either. The years have taught me a lot about the silencer world, more than I'd
have wanted to know, to be honest.
 
We're
in this together, and while hunting down human conspirators is not my ideal
version of courtship, I think for us, it just might work."

Baqir didn't know what surprised him more—the idea that his
mate would be so open and understanding with their particular brand of
peculiarity, or that Remy had decided to use a pet name for him. He'd done it
before, but at the time, they'd been in the throes of passion. And no one had
ever called him anything except Baqir. If he'd ever experienced the affection
inherent in a simple thing like a pet name, it had long ago faded from his
mind.

"I wish I could have courted you properly," he
confessed. They were doing things all out of order, rushing into decisions and
making choices that would change them forever—and Baqir, who'd always tried to
calculate the optimum course of action in every situation, was unsettled by it.

Remy freed himself from his embrace and straddled him once
again. He was beautiful, unselfconscious about his nudity, and yet, a hint of
uncertainty lingered in his slightly unfocused eyes. Nonetheless, he poked
Baqir's forehead again, much like he had earlier. "Stop thinking. I don't
regret what we did, and neither should you. Trust yourself, and trust me. We
can do this."

He was so brave, Baqir's mate. This couldn't be easy for him
either, but he was still trying his best and at the same time reassuring Baqir.
It was more than Baqir deserved, more than he'd ever hoped to find—but when he
looked at Remy, he truly believed they could do this.

Because at the core of his being, Baqir was not a good man.
He wasn't selfless enough to let Remy go, or to leave Remy like Erdi had done
with his own mate. He wanted this too much, and moon help him, he would have
it, have Remy, no matter what price he had to pay.

****

It took quite some time for Remy and Baqir to actually leave
the bed. They didn't necessarily decide on it, and neither did they turn it
into anything more than it was—a lazy couple of hours spent exploring the
potential of a new relationship.

It was Remy who got out of bed first, and only because he
wanted to prepare breakfast. He even made them real tea—one that wouldn't get
them drunk—and mused over how it was possible for Baqir to slot so neatly into
his life. He didn't have to give any thought to retrieving two mugs instead of
one. It was just natural, like he'd been waiting for this all along.

When Baqir joined him in the kitchen, Remy couldn't help but
shoot his lover a smile full of contentment. Baqir stole it right off his lips,
pressing their mouths together in the ghost of a kiss. Comfortable, natural,
almost domestic—like they did this every morning. How?

Even when Baqir broke their kiss, he leaned against Remy as
they drank their tea and ate their breakfast. It felt so comfortable that Remy
instinctively knew it couldn't last. For one, they hadn't actually bonded—and
that was something they hadn't discussed even if Remy had wanted to approach it
earlier.

This had happened too quickly, and they'd been intoxicated
when they'd had sex, so mating wouldn't have been a good idea. Still, the more
time Remy spent in Baqir's presence, the more he craved it, craved the bond he
could already feel forming between them.

He was both relieved and disappointed when an unfamiliar ring
shattered the moment and broke him out of his thoughts. Baqir grimaced. "I
should probably take that."

Remy sighed. They were both well aware that they were needed,
and he wanted to continue his investigation too. Even so, he would have much
preferred to spend some time basking in the simple enjoyment of Baqir's
presence.

Baqir took the incoming call, and Remy unashamedly
eavesdropped. He wasn't wholly surprised when he heard Reynard's voice on the
other side of the connection. "Where are you?" the other werewolf
asked Baqir. "I was expecting you yesterday."

"I was... delayed," Baqir replied, stealing a
glance at Remy that said he didn't in the least bit mind the delay. "Do
you have anything new for me?"

"I might," Reynard replied. "And it's not
good. We've lost another one. It's Jean."

Baqir went rigid, the relaxation Remy had worked so hard for
draining out in an instant. Another one. What did that mean? Was someone dead?
Remy couldn't tell for sure, but the tension in Baqir's stance suggested
something serious.

"Where are you?" Baqir asked, his tone so sharp it
almost seemed brittle.

"The shop. Meet me there. I'd rather not say more over
the phone."

"Fine. I'll be with you in a bit."

Without another word, Baqir ended the call. For a few
seconds, he simply stared at the wall, shoulders straight, stance flawless,
looking more like a statue than a man. And then, he turned toward Remy, and
Remy knew. "We've talked about this," he snapped at his mate.
"I'm going with you. I'm not helpless."

"No, you're not helpless, but I'd rather not draw you
into this. If Reynard went so far as to call me, this is dangerous."

"Of course it's dangerous, but I knew that going in.
What do you think I'd be doing if I hadn't met you yesterday?"

A slow shudder swept over Baqir, and then he shook his head,
as if trying to push back his thoughts. "You have no idea what you're
getting yourself into."

"So tell me. I'm not scared of them."

"That's what you think now, but it'll change. Don't
speak of things you can't possibly fathom."

Remy couldn't help but bristle. "Is that right? So what
exactly does that mean for you and me? Because I'm not a one-night fuck, Baqir.
I'm your mate, and you won't silence me."

That was the wrong thing to say. He was angry, because they'd
made a promise to one another, and Baqir was already going back on his part of
the bargain, like it had meant nothing. The ugly niggling at the back of his
mind was flaring bright now, blinding him.

He shouldn't be so furious. Baqir owed him nothing. Beyond
them being destined mates, they'd just met, and they'd had a few hours of
amazing sex. No matter what Remy wanted, Baqir obviously didn't feel the same.

Baqir narrowed his eyes and his nostrils flared. His dark
gaze pinned Remy with the same fierceness Remy had seen the night before. It
was different this time around, as passion was no longer the emotion behind it.

"I don't need to silence you," he said, voice
deathly quiet. "You've just done it yourself."

Remy wanted to say something, anything that would stop this.
But Baqir was already moving, grabbing the clothes they had discarded in a
flurry of desire, and Remy's mouth was dry, his vocal cords refusing to obey
him.

Baqir was right. With his outburst, Remy had essentially
given up his right to say anything regarding what Baqir did next.

'I don't want to be a silencer' Baqir had told him. Whatever
had prompted the confession, it didn't make it any less true—and Remy had just
thrown it into his face.

Finally, just as Baqir reached the doorway, Remy managed to
find his voice. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"Maybe you didn't," Baqir answered. "But that
doesn't change the truth you and I both know. Not all mates are actually meant
to be together."

Remy's breath caught at the reply, because it echoed his
worst fear. "Is that why you didn't claim me last night?"

He didn't expect a reply, and when it came, he almost wished
Baqir had stayed silent. "No." Baqir looked over his shoulder and
this time, his eyes were icy. "I didn't claim you because I didn't want
to. I didn't want you."

The reply was like a physical blow, and Remy just watched
dumbly as Baqir finally stepped out of the apartment. In the silence that
settled behind him, the two mugs still filled with tea mocked him.

With steady hands, Remy placed the mugs in the sink and
cleaned the detritus of their breakfast. He then gathered the clothes and the
dirty sheets in a garbage bag and set it all aside. He should probably take
them to the cleaners or, better yet, toss them, but he didn't have the heart to
deal with it just yet.

Besides, the physical task had done its job. His mind was
clear now. Baqir didn't want to be a silencer, but that was what he was. His
life was dangerous, and he didn't want to draw Remy into it. Remy's
overreaction aside, there was one thing that stood out.

Baqir was afraid. Remy had committed many mistakes in his
life, but he'd also learned from them, and he knew what it would take to fix
this.

Sometimes, if you loved somebody, if you wanted what was best
for them—you needed to become what they were. Remy had once lost his eyesight
to the silencer world. It was just as well that he would lose his heart, and
everything else that made him who he was.

It was just as well that, for Baqir, he'd have to become a
silencer too.