Blind Love (21 page)

She scooted over and patted the side of her bed. “Here, come sit.”

As he walked to her, he made a mental note to add watching porn with her to his bucket list of things he needed to do…very soon.

Chapter Thirty-Four

Fighting Our Fears

Lauren looked away from Gabe’s green and blue blurred shape at the door and focused on the fuzzy colors of the television. She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed.

This was it. No more hiding behind her fears and her smart mouth.

Speaking of smart mouth, she cringed at the porno confession she made. Obviously, the medication made her tongue a bit looser than normal; considering the current situation, it might be a good thing.

She scooted over, making room for him, and patted the spot next to her. “Here, come sit.”

When the door to her room slammed shut, she sucked in a breath. His sneakers squeaked against the tiled floor as he approached. She stayed reclined on the bed, with her eyes locked on the screen, hoping he wouldn’t notice the loud tribal beat her heart was thumping.

After everything that’s happened today, what do I have to lose?

A voice inside her head whispered the question as the mattress dipped from his weight. By the time his shoes were untied and dropping one by one to the floor, it had become a chant screaming between her ears.

While she searched for the response, the bed continued to creak and shift.

Nothing.

The answer burned her eyes. She blinked the heat away and fidgeted with the edge of the sheet. There was nothing left to lose. With Evan’s school starting up in August, Gabe would return to Houston by the end of the summer. The worst thing that could happen by telling him she loved him? It sped up the inevitable. Whether she told him or not, in a couple of months she would be alone.

By the time he finished getting comfortable, there was enough room to squeeze two hefty people in the gap he left between them. He leaned across Lauren without touching a hair on her body, picked up the remote control, and soon the television went black.

She bit her lip and reconsidered her plan. Surviving a kidnapping and challenging her fears on the same day would be a bit too much for anyone… Wouldn’t it?

Faint memories of her near-death love confession popped into her head. It made her stomach twist into an even tighter knot. Had she actually uttered those words out loud?

She shook off the thoughts. It didn’t matter. Even if he walked away, this was about something bigger—a chance for her to heal.

How long had she kept her feelings locked up because of her fears of rejection; of not being good enough? For over a decade, she pushed people away before they had a chance to do the same to her. It was time to swallow her pride.

What if they proved you right?

The darn voice was the source of so many of her problems. Yes, some people might, but how else would she ever find the one person capable of proving her wrong if she didn’t try?

Without letting herself think anymore, Lauren inched closer to Gabe.

Warmth flooded her as soon as his arm pressed against hers, silencing her worries. The heat wasn’t completely sexual, either. It was peaceful, soothing. When he didn’t flinch at her touch, she rested her head on his shoulder and filled her lungs with his scent: pine and cedar and some soap she didn’t quite recognize.

Today had been the most traumatic day of her life. Throughout it all, she rode a rollercoaster of emotions: terror, sorrow, anger, and, in the past couple of hours, nothing.

With Gabe beside her, she felt the one thing she had hungered for: safety. Regardless of what happened between them, just by being beside her, he gave her exactly what she needed.

The fact he was rigid and hadn’t made a move to touch her stung. She swallowed her pride. “You can put your arm around me. If you want.”

He let out a breath as his body relaxed. “Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

Lauren cringed. “What do you mean, hurt me?”

“You’re covered in bruises. I wasn’t sure if it would add to your pain if I tried to hug you.”

She started to smile but stopped as soon as the newly formed scabs on her lips stretched. “As long as my leg doesn’t move and they keep feeding me meds, it won’t.”

Before the words were completely out, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She wasn’t sure which of them shuddered, but someone did and both their bodies shook.

He pressed his cheek against the top of her head. “I’ve never been so scared in my life.”

Lauren shut her eyes and held on to him, never wanting to let him go. When he leaned back on the bed, he took her with him, pulling her onto his chest. She nuzzled her face into her favorite spot under his chin and grabbed a fistful of his shirt.

Out of nowhere, her tears began. One drop, and soon another. Before long the trickle became streams pouring down her cheeks.

It was over. Every last ugly bit of the day, and somehow she survived. So why couldn’t she stop crying?

His fingers dipped inside the opening in the back of her gown, touching her bare skin. When he started running them across the ridges of her spine, she sobbed.

Gabe held on tight, rubbing her back. Through every ugly wail, he kept his lips pressed against her head, whispering things she couldn’t hear. When the heaves began, he didn’t loosen his grip or shush her. Instead, allowed them to happen. After completely drenching his tee with her sadness, Lauren was finally done.

“Your shirt is soaked.”

“It’ll dry.”

She moved her hand to the hem of his wet tee and tucked it under the fabric, letting her fingers roam across his stomach. When he sucked in a breath, she kissed his chin. “I love touching you.”

He chuckled. “I know the feeling.”

Her palm inched higher, making a barrier between the wet fabric and his chest. “Thank you.”

“For?”

Lauren shook her head. “For saving my life. Being here.”

He stiffened. “Today should have never happened.”

She played with the now-damp patch of hair on his torso. “But it did, and we’re alive. It’s what matters, isn’t it?”

Gabe didn’t respond. Instead, he held her close and continued to rub her back. She melted into him and let the even beats of his heart pull her in deeper.

When he swallowed, the sound tickled her ears.

“Do you remember anything about our run through the forest?” he asked.

The pads of her fingers scraped across his chest as she considered her answer. “I do.”

“What do you remember?”

“You were sexy, sweaty and shirtless. By the way, if you need help taking this one off so it can dry, I’ll be happy to.”

His body shook from his laugh. She moved her hand farther down to his waist until he pressed his palm against hers, stopping the descent.

“For the record, I had a shirt on, and you’re really good at changing the subject. You know that?”

She smiled at how husky his voice sounded and played with the little trail of hair below his navel.

“Do you remember anything else?”

“What, you being sexy wasn’t enough?”

Gabe gently tugged her hand away and started to pull himself off the bed. “No, it isn’t.”

She grabbed his arm. “Wait, don’t.” Lauren closed her eyes and pushed out the words. “I do. I remember telling you I loved you.”

He didn’t move, and she couldn’t tell if he was even breathing.

“A lot’s happened today. It’s made me more emotional than normal. What I said out there wasn’t typical for me.” The bed shifted as she rambled. He pulled her back onto his chest and rested his chin atop her head. “Things like that aren’t easy for me to admit because they leave me all sorts of vulnerable,” she mumbled into his shirt.

Gabe stayed silent, his fingers digging into her arm. Lauren’s nerves took over. She had spilled her heart out, and, yes, he was holding her, but not uttering a word.

When he filled his lungs with air, her body rose along with his. Slowly, he blew it out. “Say it,” he whispered.

Her muscles relaxed immediately. She reached up and touched his face, letting her fingers run across his lips. “I love you, Gabriel Briggs.”

His lips stretched into a wide grin. While she traced his mouth with the pads of her fingers, it seemed to grow even bigger.

She waited for him to tell her the same. “Well?”

He kissed her hand, which currently rubbed against his cheek. “Well, what?”

She narrowed her eyes. “I confessed my love to you. No response?”

“Thank you?”

Lauren laughed, the movement again causing her lips to burn. “Ow.” She covered her mouth. “You’re a jerk.”

He tucked her hair behind her ear and returned his hand to her naked back. “When?”

She tilted her head. “When what?”

“When did you fall in love with me?”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “First, tell me
when
did you become a sap?”

He chuckled and kissed the top of her head for the hundredth time. “The day I met you.”

Her face flushed all sorts of embarrassed, and again her lips stung when she tried to smile. “The night you brought over Chinese food and we talked. Before we ever, ahem, you know.”

His fingers moved from her spine and slowly worked their way up, brushing lightly against the edge of her breast. Lauren closed her eyes as heat shot to her core.

“I remember, and the multiple
ahems
were my favorite part.”

She shuddered when his hand inched farther, brushing against her nipple.

“That’s because you only think with your dangly parts,” she said.

“Trust me, my parts are rarely dangly when you’re around.”

Voices grew louder outside the room. He pulled his arm out from under her gown and rested it on her waist.

When she tried to move away, he tightened his grip. “Not letting you go, no matter who comes in.”

Once the chatter moved farther down the hall, he planted his lips on her forehead. “Now, what did I do before we
ahem’ed
that made you fall in love with me?”

She closed her eyes. “Sitting there on the couch, you put your arms around me.”

As soon as she said the words, he squeezed her closer.

Lauren smiled and continued. “It felt, safe, like right now. I didn’t want you to let me go.”

Gabe planted soft pecks behind her ear. “Good, because I don’t want you to go.”

She tilted her neck as his lips explored the area. “Why?”

“Because I love you.” His breath warmed her skin and his words crumbled the last of her fears away.

Her eyes filled. “When?”

He chuckled. “So I’m not the only sappy one, huh?”

She rested her cheek against his and didn’t answer.

“The first time you came knocking at my door. When I opened it and saw you standing there, arms crossed, glaring at me.”

Lauren cringed at the memory. “I didn’t glare at you.”

“Sorry, eyed me with intent to kill. Don’t get me wrong, you were smiling, but you looked like you’d have beat my head in with a hammer if you had the chance.”

She giggled. “Ow. Stop making me laugh.”

For a long while, neither one spoke. His fingers found their way back inside her gown and returned to caressing her spine.

“So what now?” she asked.

“Stay right here and keep touching you. I’m pretty happy doing that.”

“By the end of the summer, you’ll be heading back to Texas.” Lauren pushed out the rest of the words. “When you do, I won’t ask you to stay.”

His hand froze. “Why?”

“Because this is about Evan and what’s best for him.”

Gabe’s hold on her tightened.

“But it’s okay. It’s the right thing to do, and I’ll be okay when you leave.”

He tugged a lock of her hair. “I know you will. I’m the one who won’t be.”

Lauren grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, encouraging him to continue speaking.

“I’ve spent most of my life doing what’s best for everyone else, and not what I want. Maybe it’s selfish, but I want to stay here with you for as long as you’ll have me. Anyway, my being in Denver with you is what’s best for Evan too.”

When his teeth tugged at her ear, she hesitated, trying to figure out how to tell him the rest. “Gabe, there’s something else.”

“Mmhmm,” he mumbled and continued to nip at her.

“My vision has gotten worse.”

His lips hovered over her skin. “Because of today?”

“One eye a few days ago, and today the other. I can still see, but it’s a smaller visual field.”

“Is it why you were running off to Hawaii?”

She nodded.

“What did you think would happen if I knew?” he whispered.

Lauren shrugged. “I don’t know. The idea of leaving seemed like the best way to handle it. Things are only going to get harder for me and for anyone in my life.” Her thoughts drifted to her ex-husband and his recent confession of why he cheated on her. “Ben said I pushed him away because of it.”

He pulled her close. “First of all, let’s make something real clear. I’m not Ben. Second, when you were a teenager and your vision first got bad, what did you do?”

“I got mad, cried and then got mad again.”

“Makes sense. And after all that?”

“I’m not sure what you’re asking.”

“After you were done being upset, you went back to high school, graduated, got married and went to college. It might have slowed you down, but it didn’t stop you from doing the things you needed to do.”

“It hurt me in other ways.”

“Good point. But that’s life, isn’t it? Things are going to hurt you one way or another. When your vision goes, you’ll get upset and after a while you’ll get back up and do the amazing things you always do.”

She gazed across the room. “How can you be so sure?”

He moved her hair and went back to kissing her neck. “I just am.”

“Are you going to stay in Denver?”

“Are you asking me to stay?”

“I’m a proud woman.”

Gabe laughed and continued peppering her skin with his kisses.

Her eyes shuttered, and she swallowed her pride. “I don’t want you to go.”

She felt his lips stretch into a smile against her skin. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Well, you haven’t said yes,” she said.

“Good point. How’s this? There’s no way in hell I’m going anywhere without you.”