Blind Side Of Love (23 page)

I shook my head, before clearing my throat and pulling it together. “No, it’s not weird at all,” I whispered. I ran my hand through my hair, answering her questions about the case even though my mind was a million miles away. How could I have been so stupid to think that she actually
wouldn’
t hate Drew Bryant for what he did to her? The look in her eyes the night I told her I was leaving, haunted me for the past six years of my life. I knew I was saying goodbye to the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Six years ago

It was Becca’s twenty second birthday, and I had gotten the call yesterday, telling me that the arrests were going to go down and I was being pulled off the case. It was the day that I couldn’t wait for when I had started this case and the day I had most dreaded after I had met Becca. I knew that the FBI was still trying to get Simms on the human trafficking charge and I was praying that they weren’t going to try and use Becca as bait. When I asked, I was told that it was privileged information that I didn’t need to know and my part of the case was over. I was going completely crazy not knowing what to do. I wanted to warn her, but I knew if I did it would jeopardize the whole case and put my job on the line. I was spent from over thinking it all and I knew that Becca was picking up on it. She was so on edge at this party and I knew why. She was afraid that her father was going to say something to offend me. Little did she know, her dad was the least of my worries right now and, ironically, the one person that I felt I could divulge this information to. I knew that Becca’s safety was his first priority.

“Where are you going?” Becca asked when I let go of her hand for the first time all night.

I hated that she was such a nervous wreck. “To the bathroom.”

“Oh, okay.” She stretched her neck and gave me a quick kiss.

I awkwardly stood around waiting for her father to wrap up his conversation that he was in. “Dr. Keeton. Can I talk to you for a minute?” He looked surprised when he turned around to face me.

“Sure. What is it, Drew?” I could hear his dissatisfaction for me in his voice.

“In private.”

He nodded, leading me into the house and into his study.

“If you’re here to tell me that you have nothing but good intentions with her, save your breath. I’m not buying –”

I shook my head and put my hand up to stop him from talking. "Dr. Keeton, I need to tell you something and I need to know that this is going to stay in this room." He gave me an uneasy look and nodded. "My name isn't Drew Bryant, it's Mason Boudreaux. I'm not a college student, I'm a DEA agent that was sent here to bust up an illegal drug ring that was supposed to have revolved around Ashton Barrett, but I've found out it's so much bigger. Your medical practice is being investigated. Ashton's father is now the new target. They pulled me off the case because they’ve got all the information that they need for the busts and they’re afraid that my cover may have been compromised. I have to report back by tomorrow morning."  I looked out the window, trying to pull it together. “I can't say anything to Becca. I can't put her at risk. But please, I'm begging you, get her off this charity. They're using her as a drug runner to transport the drugs back and forth. That's why I had been going with her to all of them. I found out that they have another one set up this coming week to one of the biggest dealers in this area. He's in the drug business and other illegal businesses that involve young girls. They want to take him down before they close the case. I’m not sure if the Barretts’ are going to try and get Becca to do the delivery or not. I'm not even supposed to be here and I may be blowing this case wide open and lose my job by telling you this, but Becca is my first priority right now. Just please do whatever you have to do to make sure that she doesn't go." He was speechless. “I may have lied about who I was and my intentions, but I never lied about my feelings for Becca.”

He shook his head and took a seat behind his desk. “You took advantage of my daughter, made her fall in love with you, knowing the whole time that you were going to leave her. Was this all some sick game to you!?”

I looked down at the ground and then back up at him. “No sir, it wasn’t. I care about Becca more than you will ever know. I would give everything up right now and walk away from it all for her, but you and I both know that she would never forgive me for not telling her the truth.”  I was hoping for some type of indication from him that maybe Becca could get past this so we could have a future together, but there was none.

He had an uneasy look on his face. “Do you have any idea what this is going to do to her?”

I got a sick feeling in my stomach, thinking about how much it was going to hurt her. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with her. I just wanted to protect her. But you know better than anyone what an amazing person she is.”

He took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes. "I'm sorry, but this is just a lot for me to take in right now.”

“I felt that it was only fair to warn you for both professional and personal reasons. The Feds are going to be all over your medical practice; just give them whatever information they ask for. It’s Barrett that they’re after.”

“I have nothing to hide,” he whispered. “My main concern is Becca right now. She's going to be devastated." 

I looked away and nodded. "I’d rather have her hate me for the rest of her life and know that she's safe. These people are dangerous. You may think you know them, but they are using your daughter for their own personal gain. She's exactly what they wanted. A young, innocent girl. I can’t protect her anymore, so I’m leaving it up to you."

He ran his hand through his hair and nodded. "I'll make sure that she doesn't go and I promise you I will not breathe a word of this to anyone. Thank you for watching over my daughter."

 "You're welcome." I hung my head low and began to walk out of his study.

 "Agent Boudreaux," I turned around and stared into his eyes, "I'll take the blame for you leaving." 

"I appreciate it, but that's not necessary, sir. Becca will never forgive me for this no matter what, so it doesn't matter how much she hates me. You're her dad. You will be in her life forever. I don't want her hating you, too. I just need you to know that I truly do love your daughter and I always will.”

I packed up the rest of my clothes and double checked to make sure that I wasn’t leaving anything behind, with a very heavy heart. This place was filled with memories of me and Becca. There wasn’t a room in this entire house that we hadn’t made love in. I shook my head, trying to shake off those memories. I felt like such a coward for not giving her an official goodbye, but I knew it was better this way; neither of our hearts could handle it. My stomach dropped when I heard a knock at my door and saw Becca’s car in the driveway. I didn’t know if I was going to have the strength to do it. I took a deep breath and opened the door. I couldn’t even look at her, knowing that I would never be seeing those beautiful eyes again.

“I know you're tired and have a headache, but I just wanted to see you to make sure that everything was okay. You seem kind of off tonight.”

“Yeah, everything's fine.”

“I’m really sorry if my dad said something wrong to you tonight.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and it took everything inside of me to push her away. I knew that if I hugged her back, I would never be able to let her go. I felt like I was being kicked in the balls over and over again when I saw the look on her face. “Drew what’s the –”. Her eyes focused on the suitcase that was sitting on the living room floor. I ran my hand through my hair and let out a deep breath. “Are you going somewhere?”

The pain in her eyes was killing me. “Yeah, I'm going back to California.”

“To visit?” Her voice quivered. The best I could muster was a shake of my head. “Drew, what the hell's going on? You're moving back to California?”

“Yes.” I could feel my eyes stinging as I finally found the courage to look at her.

“Why?” She began to cry. “You weren’t even going to tell me?”

“I'm sorry, but trust me you're better off. It just has to be this way, Becca.”

“What the hell are you talking about? What way? What did I do to make you want to leave?” She was trying her hardest to speak over her sobs. "Please don't leave me, Drew. Whatever I did wrong, please just tell me!" she yelled as she gripped my arm tightly.

“You didn't do anything. It’s me. It’s all me.”

“Drew…no.” She wrapped her arms around me and hugged me, and this time I just couldn’t resist hugging her back. “I’ll do whatever it takes for you to stay. I’m sorry if I’ve become too needy with you. We can slow things down. Just please say that you’ll stay.”

Everything inside of me was telling me to come clean with her. I knew it was now or never. But I also knew that
if
she were to forgive me, she deserved a much better life than I could ever give her. She didn’t deserve to be with someone who was only going to be in her life on a part-time basis whenever he wasn’t working on cases. As much as it was tearing me up inside, I knew that this was what would be best for her. She had a great future ahead of her and I knew after a little bit of time I would just be an old memory to her, but she would remain in my heart forever. "Becca, please don't. I care about you a lot. Please don’t think that you did something wrong."

"Then why are you-"

"Because I have to."

"Why?! Damn it, Drew, tell me why?"

"Becca, just go." I couldn’t stand looking at her hurting so badly and knowing that I was the cause of it.

"You let my father get to you, didn't you?"

"No." I turned back around to face her. I couldn’t have her blaming her father for this for the rest of her life.

"You're a liar! Everything I thought we had was a lie. You let him buy you! I hate you! God, I hate you so much!”

“Becca,” I whispered. I tried to grab her arm but she hastily pulled away in her rage, taking the bracelet that I had given her off of her wrist and throwing it at me, just before running out the door.

I picked up my keys, readying myself to go after her and tell her everything before stopping myself as I was halfway out the door. I knew this was for the best. Becca needed to get on with her life without Drew Bryant because after tonight he was no longer going to exist. I stood in the doorway looking up at the star filled sky and heard Becca’s voice so clearly in my mind:

“When we go back to school, we can each have our paintings and know that we’re looking up at the same star filled sky. I can be the first quarter and you can be the third quarter, and together we can be the full moon.”

“Becca, Baby, I will always think of you when I look up at those beautiful stars,” I whispered as I ran my hand through my hair, fighting the burning in my eyes. I walked back inside and grabbed my suitcase, Becca’s bracelet, and the painting that she made for me. I walked out the door and took a deep breath. As I locked the door behind me, I said goodbye to Drew Bryant and the beautiful girl he had fallen so in love with forever. The only traces of evidence that either one of them existed was the painting in my hand and the memories in my heart.