Blind Side Of Love (32 page)

Becca

Two weeks later…..

The conductor helped Lilly and I off the train and I was immediately greeted by my mother. She threw her arms around me and held onto me for dear life. “Oh, Sweetie, it’s so good to see you.”

“You too, Mom.”

She looped her arm in mine and we walked off to her car. I was already missing Mason, but I knew I was long overdue with visiting my parents. Plus, I had my yearly in depth eye exam which we were headed to. I didn’t see the point; it was the same thing each year, my eyes were always the same with no sign of vision ever coming back. My mother helped me in the car and I heard Lilly jump in the back seat. I focused straight ahead when I heard her car door shut. “So, have you been busy with work? I haven’t heard from you much these past few weeks,” she asked as the car began to move.

“Yeah, I’ve got a few big cases going on.” I wanted to tell her so badly about Mason, but I didn’t want her running back and telling my dad. So I did my best to keep it inside and instead listened to her tell me all about the cruise that her and my dad had just gotten back from.

I took Lilly’s leash and my mother’s arm and we walked into the doctor’s office. My mother signed me in as I grabbed my wallet from my purse. “Mom, can you please find my insurance card in this mess of a wallet of mine?”

She took my wallet from me.

“Here’s her insurance card,” she said to the receptionist. My purse slipped from my hand as we stood there waiting.

“Oh shoot!” I exclaimed.

“I got it,” my mother said. The receptionist placed my insurance card back in my hand as I waited for my mother to finish picking up the contents of my purse.

She helped me over to the seating area and I could hear her putting everything back in my purse for me. “Honestly, Becca, do you really need half of this stuff that you carry around with you?” She was quiet for a minute as I heard the sound of papers rustling. “Who did you go to New Orleans with?” she asked. I knew right away that she must have been looking at my boarding pass from my trip with Mason.

“Huh? Oh… ummm… with a friend of mine.”

“A friend?”

“Yeah.”

“Do I know this friend?” she asked.

I shook my head and I could feel myself turning red. “Spill it, Becca!”

“I met him a few months ago. I’ve been working with him on a case. He’s a DEA agent and just a really great guy.”

“Oh, Sweetie, I’m so happy for you.”

“He took me to meet his parents down in Louisiana a couple weeks ago. It was so wonderful, Mom.” And just like that, I was divulging every last detail to her, exactly what I said I
wasn’t
going to do. But I just had to tell someone about how wonderful he was, or I was going to bust. “Please, Mom, DO NOT say anything to Dad about this just yet.”

“You have my word, Honey, but I would really love to meet him.”

“I know, and you will.”

She took my arm and led me into the exam room when the nurse called my name. Lilly circled around my feet and laid down, letting out a loud sigh once I was seated. I reached down and patted her on the head. “You had a busy day today, haven’t you, girl?”

“She’s such a sweetie,” my mom said.

“Yes, she is.”

The door began to squeak and the familiar sound of Dr. Jennson’s voice followed after. “Well, hello Becca and Mom…..and Lilly.”

“Hi Dr. Jennson,” my mother and I said in unison.

He began to ask me all the standard questions that I now knew verbatim. Every year my answer to each would be the same. I let out a loud sigh, just wanting to get this over with.

I felt the cold metal of one of his machines pressing against the bridge of my nose and after years of this I knew that he was examining my eyes. “Well, everything looks good,” he said after he had gotten done with his various tests.

“Well, of course it does. It couldn’t get any worse, could it?”  I joked.

“Actually, Becca, I’ve been working closely with Dr. Greenberg. The man is a brilliant ophthalmic surgeon. He’s been performing this new exploratory surgery on several patients that have very similar cases as yours. You would be a prime candidate. It’s not a guarantee but about fifty percent of the patients that he has done the surgery on have regained some form of vision back.”

My mother let out a gasp. “Oh my goodness, that would be wonderful!”

I, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling the excitement. “And fifty percent of them don’t?”

“Well, yes, but some chance is better than no chance, Becca,” Dr. Jennson responded.

I nodded. “I suppose, but I don’t want to be a guinea pig unless I know it’s a sure thing.”

“Becca, it’s a chance you would be taking. A chance to get your sight back,” my mother interjected.

“And also a chance of getting my hopes up big time, only to be let down.”

She let out a loud sigh and continued to discuss the procedure with Dr. Jennson as if I wasn't even in the room. I didn't want to think about this now. Being able to see again was what I wished for more than anything in this world, but now being faced with that possibility, I had mixed feelings. Not to mention the letdown of falling into the fifty percent that it didn't work for.

"His office is actually right in Manhattan, Becca. He has quite a lengthy waiting list to get into see him, but I'm sure if I give him a call he could get you in."

"Well, thank you, Dr. Jennson, but this is something I'd like to think about and research first."

"Becca, at least-"

"Mom, please. This has to be a decision that only I can make."

"I understand, Becca. I will give your mother his card and if you decide you want to go ahead with the appointment, just give me a call and I’ll arrange it."

"Thank you, Dr. Jennson."

"Okay, your eyes are good for another year, but I do hope to hear from you sooner than that."

I stood up and felt Lilly immediately stand up as well. I reached down and grabbed her leash, saying my goodbyes to Dr. Jennson. My mother waited until we were a few minutes into the drive before she began her spiel. "Becca, I know it's a lot for you to think about, Honey, but why? If there's a chance that you may be able to see again, then why wouldn't you do it?"

"Mom, please. I just don't want to talk about it now."

"Becca, please, just-"

"Because I'm scared, Mom, okay?"

"What are you scared of?"

"What if it doesn’t work?"

"Well, at least you will have tried."

"Do you have any idea of what a disappointment that would be for me? It's like waving a bone in front of a dog, maybe he can have it and maybe he can't. My world is darkness now. I've accepted that. I've learned how to live with it. I see things so much differently now. I'm able to visualize more than just the physical aspects of a person. I can see deep into their heart and soul, something I was never able to do when I had my sight. The sunsets in my mind are more beautiful than any that I've ever witnessed with my eyes and I don’t have to wait until a certain time of day to see them; I could see them all day long if I choose to." I felt my throat lumping up and the familiar burn of tears. "I can see, Mom, just not in the way that most people do, and I'm afraid that if I do get my sight back, then all of those beautiful pictures in my mind and in my heart will disappear forever."

I felt the car pull over and come to a complete stop. She placed her hand on mine and squeezed it tightly. "I understand what you're saying, Becca, I really do. And I'm so happy that you are living your life to the fullest and not letting it hold you back. I'm not trying to push you into making a decision. I just want you to consider it."

"And I will, Mom, I just need some time to process it."

She lifted my hand to her lips and placed a gentle kiss on top. "Thank you," she whispered.

The car shifted back in drive and we were on our way again. "Where are we?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Right now, we're just passing by the Barretts’ old house."

I still cringed, just thinking about Ashton Barrett all these years later. I hadn't spoken or heard anything about him since my accident. All that I knew was that his father was illegally dispensing prescription drugs. He was able to get himself a good lawyer and turn over some bigger names and his medical license in exchange for jail time. It was the big talk of the town for a while, but I was so wrapped up in my own problems and getting myself back on track that I didn’t care to know.

"Do they still live around here?"

"Last I heard, they were living down in Florida. Your father doesn’t talk much about anything that has to do with them. He totally wiped his hands clean of Edward and never really cared to say too much about it. But, I do know that Ashton still lives local." I closed my eyes and shuddered at the sound of his name. "Apparently, he's co-owner of the new restaurant that just opened up on Chadwick. There's been some talk about that place being a big front for drugs. Not sure if it's true, but I tend to believe it. Celeste Turner and her husband had gone there for dinner a few weeks ago and said Ashton looked like he was high on something."

"Doesn’t surprise me one bit," I muttered. I couldn't believe how much I still despised him, even after all of these years.

"Yeah. Well, I think he had planned on living off his mother and father for the rest of his life and when everything happened, he finally had to work for a living."

"Wow, poor baby!"

My mother let out a light chuckle over my blatant sarcasm, just as the car made a quick right and she threw it in park.

"'We're home!" she exclaimed. To her, this would always be my home, but to me, this was now just a place that I came to visit only out of obligation. Still, I smiled while pretending that I wanted to be there.

My mom walked around to my side of the car and I waited for her to get Lilly from the back seat. She placed her leash in my hand and took my other hand in hers. We began to walk up the walkway when I heard someone shout. “Well, it’s about time you show your face around here!”

I could feel the smile molding onto my face at the sound of Krista’s voice. Krista and I still kept in touch, but not nearly as much as I would like to. She had been living in Maryland with her now ex-boyfriend and moved back with her parents until she could get herself settled with her own place. She was still the same old Krista from way back when, jumping from job to job and guy to guy. She had dropped out of college and ended up getting her cosmetology license, although the last time I had spoken to her, she wasn’t working in a salon, she was waitressing instead.

“I thought this would be a nice surprise for you!” my mother exclaimed. I could hear the happiness in her voice.

Krista threw her arms around me and I felt all of my emotions coming up to the surface. It had been way too long since we had been together and quite a few months since we last spoke. We entered the house as my mother unlocked the door. “Girls, go have a seat on the patio and I’ll bring out some snacks,” my mother said.

I stood in place, waiting for Krista to take my arm and lead me out. “Oh, I’m such a scatter brain.” She giggled, taking my hand in hers.

She pulled out a chair and I took a seat. The warm sunshine, the smell of my mother’s rose bushes, and the humming of the pool filter brought back so many summertime memories of the countless hours spent out in this very backyard.

“So, what’s going on, Krista? I haven’t talked to you in forever!”

“Not much. I’ve got a job at RW Salon. So now maybe I can finally get a place of my own.”

“Krista, that’s great! I’m really happy for you.”

“Said the successful lawyer to her loser friend.”

“What?” I pinched my eyebrows in confusion.

“Look at you! You finished your last year of college, law school, and have a great job….and you’re blind. Me, I couldn’t even finish up my stinkin’ last year of college.”

“Krista, stop! Stop putting yourself down.”

“I’m just speaking the truth.”

I shook my head at her, trying my best to think of something to lighten the mood. “Hey, I want to show you something.” I dug around in my purse for my phone. “I had my hair and make-up done for the first time in years!”