Blinded (20 page)

He had killed before. And tonight he would kill again.

Nobody knew. Nobody understood the hunger, the need, the curiosity, what it felt like to hear the screams, the sensation of control.

It was all about control and he was in control and tonight he would control again.

The sound of the water spattering fell over the backdrop of the Michigan night. Summer nights were supposed to feel carefree just like the picture. Nobody expected people like him to be out there, to be around, to be watching.

But there were plenty of people like him. People with hunger. People with need.

He watched carefully.

Waiting.

“Hey.”

The voice came out of nowhere. It didn’t jolt him, but merely annoyed him. He turned around from the tree he stood next to and looked into the darkness behind him.

He couldn’t see anybody.

“Yeah, you. I’m looking at you.”

The voice sounded young but undaunted, defiant.

“Having a nice little time hiding out here?”

He could see the figure come in better view. The light of the moon reflected on the forehead, the intense eyes, the strong cheek bones.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the voice asked.

“You’d be wise to sneak back into those woods and never come out again,” he told the intruder.

He could feel his hands flex, getting eager, getting ready.

The tall figure continued to approach.

“I know about you,” the voice said, suddenly sounding different, sounding lower.

Lower. Or, fuller.

“I know all about you.”

And then the figure was up to him, swiftly just like that, a
shadow blurring and suddenly in his own, up against him, over him.

He didn’t feel the knife until it was plunged deep into his gut. Again. And again.

“I know all about you,” the deep, full, guttural voice said. “And you’re no longer needed.”

He dropped on his back and looked up at the face of a man that looked like a boy and he could see the smile and then he looked further up into the heavens and even though the stars were out all he could see was a growing flood of darkness and for a brief second he felt a dread come into him worse than any feeling in his life. He knew that he was done but that the terror had just started.

T
HE LOUD CRASH WOKE
S
TEPHANIE
. It came from outside their bedroom, but she wasn’t sure where. She jerked and turned over on her back, her eyes opened and adjusting to the pitch black. Next to her, Jim’s heavy sleep floated somewhere between snoring and ragged breathing. She called out his name twice but he wouldn’t wake at this hour of the night unless she tugged at him for a few minutes. He was a big man who didn’t go to sleep easily, but once he did he stayed asleep.

I know I heard something and it sounded like it came from down the hall
.

She slipped out of the massive covers of the bed and felt
the chill of the winter night greet her. Stephanie thought of Zachary and Ashley, still adjusting to being in separate rooms after being cramped together in their tiny room in Dambi. One day they might know what it felt like to have their own home. Not someone else’s house they were staying in or a house they were renting or a house they had built on the field that would be temporary. She wanted stability, something she could see every day for ten years, maybe something she could grow old in.

The wind blew hard against the house and she wondered if it was still snowing. The first few days in January had been particularly brutal, and they were forecasting another round of snow for Chicago this weekend.

I know I heard something and I know I’m awake this time I’m not sleep walking
.

The handle felt hard and cold as she turned it and opened the door. The slight creak wouldn’t change Jim’s snores. She walked down the hallway, a small night light illuminating the floor as she got to Ashley’s room. This house had four bedrooms, amazingly, so they had put Ash in the room closest to them. Sometimes she still wanted to sleep with them, a habit that was hard to break and even harder to argue with now that they were in a new house. They had been here since September, but it still didn’t feel like home. The furniture had been picked out by someone years ago and showed it. The house itself felt like a model home, one of those you toured through and looked at but never
lived
in. It looked like it was trying to have the feel of a home but didn’t get it. And
as much as the Millers had tried to make this their home, it still never felt like that for Stephanie.

Ashley was in her bed with half the covers off. Stephanie put them back over her and made sure she could hear her breathing. She always did that with her kids, even though they were five and eight. Ashley was the baby and always would be.

What about another one?

She could hear Jim’s voice and question but knew she was through. She didn’t want another child even though she dearly loved both of them. Men just didn’t understand and could never understand the pain and the emotional journey of having a baby. Stephanie sometimes wondered if she was selfish, but then knew that she couldn’t go through another nine months of that if she had doubts.

She walked down to Zachary’s room and walked inside. It felt colder for some reason, and she couldn’t help but shiver as she entered the room.

Zach breathed heavily, but that was only because he was coming off a nasty sinus infection. Everything in the room looked fine. There was a small night-light in each of the kids’ rooms, so she could see Zachary under the covers with his eyes closed and his dark brown hair messy.

Her heart moved a little looking at him and she knew as always that even though she wasn’t supposed to have a favorite, she loved Zachary a little more than Ashley. She would never tell another soul this but she knew that God could see this and she often wondered if it was wrong having a favorite. She couldn’t help it. Zachary was her first and had been an answer to prayer and was also just … he was Zach.
He was special. For some reason, reasons she couldn’t always articulate even to herself, Zachary was not like any other kid Stephanie had been around. Ashley took after her father, but Zach didn’t necessarily take after either of them.

He’s so much like you it’s scary
.

She could hear Jim telling her this but sometimes she didn’t know. Zach was restless and outgoing and inquisitive and feisty and all those things. So, yes, sure, he took more after her than Jim’s quiet and deep persona. But there was something about Zach that wasn’t anything like her, that wasn’t like anybody.

He’s a fifty-year-old man in the body of an eight-year-old
.

She was lost looking at her son when she heard another noise. This one came from downstairs, in the kitchen, and it sounded like something fell over.

That’s twice now and I know someone’s here—someone’s in our house
.

Her heart raced and she tiptoed to the top of the stairs where she just stood and listened. She wondered about racing down to get Jim, but then she knew he would think she was sleepwalking and would tell her just to go back to bed. Sure, she had dreams—nightmares—every now and then but this was real. She was awake. Her bare feet could feel the soft carpet underneath them, something that was foreign and took awhile to get used to since coming off the missionary field. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness. She looked downstairs but could see nothing.

She slowly made her way down the steps, one after another.

Someone’s down there
, she knew, she believed.

So why was she walking down there? She was the mother of the house. This was crazy.
If
someone was down there, she shouldn’t be going down there to see them, to greet them.

But she made it to the bottom of the stairs. She held her breath and listened. Nothing. Her hands shook and she couldn’t see anything except the light on the VCR saying the time of 3:14 a.m.

She turned on the light and expected to see a man in black standing in the middle of the kitchen. Her heart raced and she stood there at the base of the stairs, the light illuminating both the family room and the kitchen.

Nobody
.

Stephanie walked over to the kitchen and stood in the middle near the island, looking around to see if anybody was there. Or if anything had fallen. There was nobody to see and nothing on the wood floor. No stray pot that had fallen or pan that was out of place.

She needed to calm down. She opened the refrigerator door to get some milk but then saw something out of the corner of her eye.

Something shadowy and black and big and quick.

Something going up the stairs.

She stood there for a moment, not sure what she had just seen.

It was a blur, but it had been something.

She heard movement on the carpeted steps, as though it was Jim heading up the stairs.

The footsteps were quick, like someone was running.

Stephanie’s body froze and she could only turn her head.
She saw the set of knives that she used often in cooking, one of the few things she enjoyed doing in this house. For one brief second, she couldn’t move or think or do anything. But then she heard the steps find their way to the hallway

to the kids’ rooms

and with the sound of the creak in the hallway right outside of Zach’s room, Stephanie jolted herself into motion and moved without thinking.

She grabbed the largest knife in the set and gripped it as she ran up the stairs.

It took her less than a second to get to the top.

She rushed into Zach’s room and held the knife out in the darkness. She turned around, expecting to see somebody. Nobody was there.

She ran down to Ashley’s room but it was the same.

Nobody.

I know what I heard and what I saw. I know it
.

She stood in the middle of Ashley’s room, looking toward the doorway and to the hallway outside.

Suddenly, she saw a figure glide by.

She felt very cold, a cold deep under her skin.

Stephanie charged out of the room and rushed down the hallway to Zach’s room. She looked in his room and found the bed missing, the covers turned over, the room empty.

She felt the bed but nothing was there.

For a second she just stood there in horror.

He’s gone somebody took him the darkness took him he’s gone he’s forever gone

And she couldn’t help but feel her legs get weak until she
had to kneel on the ground. She took in a breath and felt light-headed but she kept the knife in her hand.

Where’d he go where’d they take him?

And as she panted for air a sound came from behind her and she jerked around with her knife facing the doorway and suddenly she found herself blinded by bright lights and she squinted and made out an ominous figure at the doorway.

“Don’t! I swear!” she said, squinting her eyes and waving the knife toward the doorway.

“Steph—what the—Stephanie, drop the knife!”

She looked up and saw the beard first and then saw the eyes, bigger than usual. The voice hadn’t just asked her to drop the knife. It had been a command, a deep and booming command that jerked her

awake?

and made her drop the knife.

Jim stood at the doorway and the light to Zach’s room was on.

Jim came to her side and picked up the knife.

“What are you doing?” he asked her as he helped her up.

“It’s Zach—I saw someone—heard something—then I looked and someone was coming up—I didn’t know—”

She looked behind and saw Zach in his bed, his hair shaped in a mushroom, his eyes wide and open and adjusting to the light.

He’s there
.

“He wasn’t—I looked and he wasn’t there. Jim, I swear, I saw something. I know I did. I don’t know what—”

“What are you doing with the knife?”

“I was scared somebody—”

“Steph. You gotta get some help. This is really … ”

He stopped himself because Zachary was hanging on every word. Jim put the knife on top of the small dresser and then went over to Zach. He sat next to him.

“Hey, buddy. It’s okay. Mommy was just having another dream.”

But I wasn’t dreaming this time I swear I wasn’t dreaming
.

“It’s okay. Just go to sleep. All right?”

Zach just nodded and then he looked at her.

“Mom, are you okay?”

She stood up and she could feel her legs shaking. “I’m fine. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m just tired.”

As she went to kiss Zach, she could see his frightened look.

He’s frightened of me. Oh dear God he’s frightened of me
.

“Get some sleep buddy. Okay?”

Jim tucked him in and then took the knife off the dresser. He turned off the lights and went downstairs to put the knife away.

Stephanie found her way back to bed. She lay on her back, feeling as awake as she had been when she first heard the noise or saw the figure.

Jim came back in the room and didn’t bother turning on the light. He climbed back in bed and for a minute was quiet.

“Jim?”

“Yeah,” he eventually said.

“I’m sorry.”

There was more silence, and she wondered what he was thinking.

“Jim?”

“Let’s just get some rest, okay?”

“I heard something. I know you think I was sleepwalking, but I heard something.”

She could tell Jim was thinking, wondering whether to say something. He was a man who rarely said something he didn’t want to say.

“James?” she asked, changing the name to try and get him to respond.

“I just found you in our son’s room, hovering over him with a knife.
With a knife.”

A fear raced through Stephanie, and it wasn’t at Jim’s words. It was at the way he said them. He spoke them as though he was angry at her, as though she was a stranger and not the woman he loved and who had given birth to these children.

The thing that scared her the most was that she could hear the fear in Jim’s voice.

Jim was never scared. Of anything.