Blood and Loss (Cassandra Myles Witch Series) (19 page)

“You were quite the sad little girl when he brought you home. You had plenty of reasons to be. Little by little, you pulled yourself out of it and you showed him how to live again. He was very upset when you bought your own home, but he was also very proud. He actually walks around the house singing to himself on the days you have your supper dates. Do you know he owns your old house and your cottage back in Nova Scotia?”

“Why?” I was crying so hard I could barely see.

“He thought someday you might need some closure. You may want to relive some of the good times you had when you were young. He talked about taking you there someday. He has a caretaker who looks in on both and keeps them in good repair.”

“Why are you telling me this? So I will feel even worse than I already do
?”

He grabbed my face in his hands. “I swear to you that is not my intention
. I just need you to understand that he will not be in a good place when you leave. Calling him when you miss him or because you know he will always make you feel better would be selfish. It will open the wound every time he hears your voice. I realize you have made up your mind and I give you my word to respect it. I don’t like it and it is killing me, but that is your right. Just don’t torture him, Cass.”

I couldn’t breathe. I could barely see. I think the only reason I was still
standing was that Lucius was now holding me. “I didn’t know.”

“
Shh, it’s okay. He wants you to be happy, Cass. If he knew I told you any of this, he would kill me. I am telling you so you grant me my favor.”

“Wait, you knew how Quintus felt about me, yet you wanted me too. Wouldn’t that hurt him?”

“It is complicated, but we have shared women before. Never when we have felt the way we do about you, but it would be better than losing you.”

“Quintus wanted this too?” Had they lost their senses? That scenario was crazy. Maybe in my fantasies, but two men couldn’t share a woman. It wasn’t possible.

“Yes, if that was the only way we could keep you with us.”

“That is crazy.”

“Maybe, but us leaving you in this terrible place is crazier. If sharing you with Quintus makes everyone happy, then I would do it.”

“Well
, we will never know. I am staying here.”

He just nodded. “I want you to be happy too.” He kissed the top of my head and walked away.

Chapter 26

Declan came home smelling like the outdoors. He was dirty and naked. I pulled him into the shower and
we had hot steamy soapy sex. He was insatiable. The hunt and the proximity of the full moon made him unstoppable. By the time we were done, we both needed another shower.

“If I
came home to that every night, then I would be one happy man.”

“Did you catch anything?”

“Deer and rabbit. Lots of it.”

“So tomorrow night
, we serve for the masses?”

“Yes, these dinners are always so much fun.
My father even lets loose at these things. Someone always brings a guitar and then there is singing and dancing. Then we walk out into the night air and we go on our full moon run.”

“Tomorrow morning
, Quintus and I are going to visit the area where Na’min came through. I hope it is still there. We will discuss how to take it down.”

“Really
, you guys are going to do it.”

“If
I can. I can’t guarantee that I can do it. In fact, it seems crazy that they want me to try.”

“Quintus and Na’min think you can. I think you can do anything you set your mind to.”

“
I just realized I haven’t even told your dad or Na’min.”

“We will go over later. Right now
, I have had a great hunt, amazing sex, and all I want is a nap while I hold you in my arms.”

Na’min and Patrick were sitting in his living room, having tea.

“Son, what brings you
by?” He looked relaxed. I had a tiny hope that maybe after the full moon, everyone in the pack would be a little more accepting of me.

“Cassandra has some news.”

“I will try to free your people, Na’min. I can’t promise I can do it, but I will try.”

He gathered himself and walked towards me.
The prince hugged me tight and close. I was shocked at his open display. “I will be forever in your debt. As soon as the wall is open, I will lie down for Quintus.”

“I don’t think he wants that
, Na’min. He isn’t as hungry for revenge as you thought he would be.”

“We shall see. It doesn’t matter
. I will at least get to go home one last time.”

“Will you come to the wall with us tomorrow morning at sunrise? We want to make a plan on how to try it tomorrow night.”

“Of course. I will be ready at the crack of dawn.” He was giddy. It seemed strange in such an elegant creature, but who could blame him?

I turned to Declan’s f
ather. “Mr. Langois, I am honored to serve for everyone tomorrow night. I hear it is a lot of fun.” I plastered my most enthusiastic smile across my face.

He looked at me like he had not known about it, but he covered quickly. “You should be honored. No human has ever been asked before. If it were not for the love of my son
, it would continue that way.”

“Patrick
, that is very rude. This woman is going to make your pack very wealthy and powerful. One would think you are not grateful.” A small glimpse of the old Na’min peeked through his passive façade. He didn’t have a great love for his wolf host.

“I have hosted you for five years and I have grown to like you, but pack law and pack business do
es not concern you. Declan is weakening the pack by bringing her in. She won’t even be able to bear him were children. They will be some halfling freaks.”

I was
too shocked even to reply. If the leader of this pack didn’t want me, then his people would never accept me. Declan was growling and I could feel the magic that preceded a change. “No, Declan, please. It isn’t worth it. Neither one of you would forgive yourselves if one of you were to die. Please.”

His voice was coarse and gravely. “He has no right. You are a good woman. Janine was a murder
er and he accepted her.”

“I have every right. I am pack master and I have a responsibility to make sure our pack is as strong as it can be.”

“Then you are a fool, Patrick, because this woman may be one of the most gifted witches I have ever seen. She holds more power in her than you do, sir. If you will excuse me, Cassandra, Declan, I have the need for some fresh air.”

We followed him out. Na’min went off towards the
woods. Declan tried to stop me from taking off. “Don’t I need space? I am not mad at you, Declan. I just need to think.”

I ran into the darkness. I didn’t even know where I was. I wasn’t lost because I could see the lights of the courtyard. I sat on the ground and stared off into space. I wasn’t going to cry over that idiot. He was not worth it.

I could really use a drink, maybe two. I
thought I would start to do yoga. I heard it releases stress. Oh, a massage; that would be lovely.

“You seem upset
, Cassandra, what can I do?” Quintus interrupted my internal rant.

“Nothing, unless you can make me a wolf.”

“I can make you a vampire, though I would not. I can’t make you a wolf.”

He sat beside me and put his arm around me.
“You shouldn’t be here. I will have to survive without you soon enough. I guess I need to start trying to solve my own problems.” The conversation I had with Lucius had hit home. It hurt, but I knew he was right. I couldn’t rely on him to solve my problems. It wasn’t fair.

“No
, you did the best you could do. I wish your life were more carefree. I have power and more money than I know what to do with, but I find I can’t help make your life easier.”

“I guess that is because it is
my job.”

“
You are wise beyond your years, young one. Your wolf loves you. That is as obvious as the sun in the sky. You love him too. That I can tell by how hard you want this to be where you belong. If you can’t belong here, can your young wolf belong in Vancouver? If the answer is ‘no,’ then you must decide what to do.”

“I can’t hurt him. He loves me
, Quintus, and even if I don’t belong here, maybe I can find some sort of peace here.”

“Maybe you will. Just remember that you will always be welcome in my home. It is your home
too.”

I kissed his cheek. It meant so much to be told I would always have a home.
It would be so easy to whisper in his ear that I wanted him to take me home and protect me. I knew he would do it. I couldn’t ask that of him. It would hurt too many people.

“Is Lucius still mad at me?”

“He is not mad at you. He is mad at me. I stopped him from going after you last night.”

“He told me. I am glad. You probably saved Declan’s life. You always know what to do.”

“Don’t give me too much credit. I wanted to lead the charge. I wanted to go to that young pup and tell him you belong with us
. I still wish I had done that. It wouldn’t have been fair to you, but it is what I wanted to do.”

I closed my eyes, gathering the strength to carry on the conversation without a full
-blown blubber-fest. “I have made a mess out of everything, Quintus. I just hope I don’t make a mess out of things tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow
, you will do your best. You have done that every day I have known you.”

I just nodded, knowing that even in the dark he could see me.

He squeezed my hand. “Don’t stay here too long. You will catch your death.” He pulled away and left. I don’t know how, but I knew Lucius was there too. I wanted to call out to him, but that was just asking for trouble.

When I got back to the cabin, Declan was waiting outside for me. He came and wrapped his arms around me. “I hate what he said to you, sweets. He is a bigoted old man who never wants to change.”

“Yeah
, but he is also the pack master. They will follow him and our children will be outcasts.”

“Then we will go back to Vancouver.”

“You are happier here. I can see that. You need this place. How will we figure this out? I can’t make your father like me and I can’t become a wolf.”

“You are Cass and that is perfect to me.”

I kissed him and when we got inside, we made love, slowly, exploring each other over and over. We slept for only a few hours before I had to meet Quintus. Na’min was already there. We headed out immediately. Lucius was not there. I was ashamed to say I wanted him to be, even if it hurt both of us to be together I wanted to see him as much as possible before he left.

“It is here that I escaped. I have visited this spot
every day to make sure it hadn’t moved.”

Na’min motioned towards a part of the field that looked like all the rest. There was nothing that indicated a magical door to another world stood before us.

I walked towards the area with my arms outstretched blindly, feeling around for something portal-like. Then I sensed it, a field of static electricity. The closer I got the more intense it felt. All the hairs on my body stood on end and my stomach did flip-flops. My body felt like I was plugged in and being charged. The longer I kept my hand in the field, the fuller I felt.

I pulled back
and turned to look at the two men, who were looking at me like I had just laid an egg.

“What?”
I felt too good to feel self-conscious of how they looked at me.

“Cassandra
, your beautiful blue eyes are black and your skin is glowing. How do you feel?” Quintus sounded calm, but he looked panicked.

“Potent
.” It was the perfect word. I felt like I could do anything. That must be what it feels like to be a vampire.

“Please step away from there.”
Both of them looked scared. Fear was not a natural look for a vampire or a fae. I stepped closer to show them I was fine.

They both backed away from me. “Why are you acting so
strange? Both of you are freaking me out.”

As I got closer
, they backed away further. We went down to the bottom of the hill. The power above called to me. I looked back, fighting the urge to bathe myself in it. I knew if I stayed in that energy too long, it would kill me. I blocked the yearning from my mind, trying to concentrate on anything but the silky voice that told me power would make everything okay.

The two men looked at each other. “It did not act like this when I crossed.”

“How did you cross over, Na’min?”

“We used all of our most potent
fae to concentrate on the wall. We had no power to destroy it. Of course, we had been trying that for centuries. So we tried to suspend it just a second so I could get through. “

“It could have gone up while you crossed.”

“That was a chance I was willing to take.”

“I’m afraid fae magic likes our fair Cassandra. The fae must have infused the wall with
their magic when they suspended it. Cassandra just absorbed what was put there, or a part of it.”

“I have never seen such a thing.”

“I have once. Instead of having what magic that is inside of them and that is it, they can channel other’s magic. It is how we made the seals. A conduit can channel magic from others. They act like a funnel, concentrating and mixing all that magic into one very powerful force. When it happens, it can be very extraordinary. Cassandra, I think I have figured out how you tore apart the wall between here and the afterlife.”

“Well
, tell me please. I would love to know.”

“You are a magical succubus. You don’t just channel power
; you suck it into you. You had all those instructors in that auditorium. It is likely why Morven was so threatened. She kn
ew what you had done.”

“So I don’t have my own power
; I just steal from others.”

“No, you have your own powers, but you have an ability to take from others and apparently from objects as well. I don’t think it
’s safe to do until we can work on how to control how much you take in.”

“What could happen to me?”

“I don’t know. You didn’t even know you were doing it earlier. Extra power can’t hurt
when it comes to the task ahead, but the human body is only capable of handling so much.”

“I am still in the dark as to how to do that. The wall between the livi
ng and the dead is made of taut threads woven tightly. This was like I could walk through it. It wasn’t solid.”

“It is solid enough. The same principle will apply. Think instead of threads
, it is a wall of rubber. The hardest part will be to open the first hole. After that, it should tear.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“Hardly. I think your chance of success is low. Even after today with this new power. You will have to be cautious as to how much you take in. There will be many sources of magic tonight.”

“She can
channel what she needs to into me?” Na’min had been quiet so long I forgot he was there.