Blood Awakening (37 page)

“We still have the little issue of those vampires you have to kill,” Sebastian said, stepping up next to Zyris. His voice pulled my mind out of its self-loathing. Well, it was more what he said.

“What?” Why would he say that? What did my having to kill vampires have to do with any of this? Ugh, now I was even more confused.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about that, Ava?” Sebastian’s features suddenly grew dark. “Not after the trouble you caused in your quest.”

“No,” I said, a bit thrown by the sudden change in his demeanor. “But…I thought that was all a lie?”

“I never said it was a lie,” he went on. “Only the ridiculous tale Aldric spun about you being able to become human again. Surely you understand now that that was the lie?

“Yes,” I said, panic creeping in.

Sebastian shook his head. “Honestly, Aldric,” he said, turning toward his once companion. “Did you tell poor Ava anything that was true?”

“Sebastian, don’t do this.” Aldric stood just behind Sebastian, a look of horror and panic on his face.

“Aldric?” I looked to him, confusion filling the missing pieces. “Please, Aldric, tell me…what’s he talking about?” I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t focus. My life—the only one I could remember—was being destroyed, lie by lie, and I couldn’t stop it.

“You see, Ava,” Sebastian answered. “The slaughtering of vampires doesn’t give you the opportunity to become human again. It cements your place in the prophecy.”

“What?” He was making no sense, his words such a jumbled mess I couldn’t tell if they were truth or more lies.

“The one hundred deaths are needed to begin the prophecy, Ava. And yours will be the death that seals it.”

“Oh my God.” I wanted to disappear… Crawl back into that coffin and not wake up that night… Not fall in love with a boy who didn’t want me anymore…

“Ava—” Aldric began.

“—don’t!” I screamed. “Don’t lie to me again!” Rage was consuming me, taking over my ability to function. It wanted control. And I was more than willing to give it away. “How could you do this to me?” I felt like nothing I had been told was true, that I was merely a pawn in a much larger game than I had realized, moved around the board by Aldric and his sadistic, twisted ideals, no more my own person than any slave throughout history.

“I had to, Ava.” He stepped past Sebastian and came to me; a risk, considering my hatred toward him. “I did it to—”

“—protect me? Oh God, please stop saying that.” Spikes pierced my vision, making my head spin.

“It was to protect you.”

“How, Aldric? How could turning me into a murderer possibly protect me?”

“That’s not what this is about, Ava.”

“That’s exactly what it’s about!” I dug my fingers into my temples, trying to rid my head of some of the blinding pain. “Why can’t you see that? You told me that’s what it took to save myself.” My eyes filled with tears but laughter tickled my voice. “I can’t believe this. You lied, Aldric. About everything.”

“Ava—”

“Stop it. Don’t waste your breath. Just…leave me alone.” I brushed tears from my cheek. Aldric sighed, started to speak, but went back to his rightful place at Sebastian’s side. I may have been on the fence about what type of person he was up until now, but he had more than proven that he truly was without a soul.

“I do apologize, Ava, for the bombardment you have suffered tonight,” Sebastian said. I didn’t bother with a response. “But I must thank you for all you have achieved thus far.”

“What the hell are you talking about?’ I asked.

“If I’m correct,” he said, “you have more than reached the halfway point in your quest, no?” I couldn’t respond, lowering my head in shame. “Perfect. Now, it’s simply a matter of finishing the job.”

That got my attention.

“What?” I looked from him to Zyris in shock. “You…you want to help me kill people?”

“Those are just the means,” Zyris said. “The ultimate goal is to get you into position for the next phase of our plan.”

“And what if I refuse?” I snapped, one last-ditch effort to stop her.

A sneaky, evil grin spread across her face, and I knew before she even spoke that it wouldn’t be good. “Then you shall watch your friends die.” As fast as she spoke, her henchmen were on Erik, Kayla and Lacey, taking all of them by the arms and practically dragging them over to her. Lacey began crying and pleading to be let go, and it was all I could do not to attack.

“What the hell do you want from me?” I snarled at Zyris, fighting against the vampire within me struggling for freedom.

Zyris looked over at Erik and the others and smiled before turning back to me, the most evil of grins on her face. “You will be eradicating humans.”

S
ACRIFICE

E
verything Zyris and Sebastian had told me up to this point was like a lit fuse, searing a line through my life on its way to the ultimate explosion: They want me to wipe out the human race.

“I see you are too shocked to speak.” Zyris’s words were like fuel on the fire, sending sparks through my brain. “No matter. Things will progress as planned, regardless of your opinion.”

“I—I…I don’t understand.” My legs began to buckle beneath me, the weight of yet another, more evil, revelation too much for my weakened body to absorb. This couldn’t be happening. My life couldn’t be so out of control. I locked my knees to keep from crumpling to the ground.

“As I said,” Zyris went on, moving slightly forward in my direction. “Either you will do what is expected of you, or you will stand by as your friends leave this forsaken world.”

My eyes moved from her to Erik, who was struggling against the large vampire hands holding him in place. Without even realizing it, I went to him, my body moving of its own volition.

“Ava.” My name left his lips and landed in my ears, soft as always, yet tinged with fear. “Ava, don’t do this.”

“It’s okay,” I said, moving closer to him. He stopped fighting the vampire’s hold on him. “It’s okay.” I looked into his blue eyes, past the worry and dread, to that warm safety I could always count on, even in circumstances like these. A smile formed in those eyes, brightening his features and making me feel good—even if only a little. “I love you, Erik.”

The light faded as fast as it had appeared. “What?” he said, his voice barely a whisper.

I hadn’t intended to say it. I had never intended to say it. Those were the three words I could never say to Chance, the boy I thought I truly loved. But now, in this moment, after all that had happened over the last few months between Chance and me and Erik and me, the feeling was much too strong to ignore. “I…love you.”

Erik smiled, brighter and more perfect than ever. “I love you, too, Ava.” He splayed his fingers out toward me and I slid my hand into his, his warmth pulsing up my arms, straight to my already swimming head.

“I’m sorry I waited until now to tell you.” I squeezed his hand. “I was just scared, I guess.”

He half-laughed. “And you’re not scared, now?”

I half-smiled. “Yeah, I know. Guess I sort of do things backward, huh?”

“Always have.” He jutted his head toward me as much as he could while being restrained. “But I like it.” Without warning—to either of us—I crashed my lips into his. He kissed me with wild abandon, the moment magical, taking me to a place far away from the darkness and death I had been buried under for so long. I kissed him back just as hard, desperate to make the moment last forever.

But it didn’t. Erik broke our kiss, leaning away from me. I stepped up and slid a hand around his neck, lowering his head to my shoulder. His warm, short breaths swam across my skin, shockwaves of pleasure lingering behind. “More amazing,” he said into the soft flesh of my neck, “every. Single. Time.”

All this time, I had been denying myself the one thing I needed: to feel. To truly feel what love was. I had resisted Chance’s love until it was too late. Maybe that’s why I was so hesitant to let it happen with Erik? It was as though an unseen force was guiding me, making me say and do things I normally would have been much too scared to do. Like saying “I love you” to someone who I had barely known, yet felt that I had known a thousand years. It just felt…right.

I let go of Erik and slowly backed away. I wanted—needed—to see his face, to see if his words were just that: words. But they weren’t. The soft glow of his flushed skin, the warm passion in his eyes, the permanent smile lifting his lips; I could have gazed at his face forever. But another face pulled my eyes from his. A face I missed just as much, if not more. A face that looked heartbroken over what it had seen.

Chance.

I placed my hand on Erik’s shoulder before turning to walk away.

“Don’t go,” he whispered, forcing my legs to stop. “Why do you have to go?” he asked, his words terrified.

I didn’t look back at him. “Chance,” I said, my eyes locked on the other boy I loved. Chance was still standing off to the side, his body in the exact same position it had been in earlier, except for his eyes, which were staring at me with fierce intensity. The rest of his features were as dead as they were before, still compelled by Zyris. But those eyes, jade and gold perfectly mixed, had broken free from that compulsion, searching for me.

And they had found me.

Making out with Erik.

“Chance.” I forced myself to move toward him. Each step I took brought forth memories of us, of our life together: The first night in the cemetery, when he rescued me; the endless moments we were both too scared to touch, to feel; our first kiss, perfect and exact. Everything we had shared flooded my mind as I struggled toward him, filling the space in my heart not taken up by the same memories I had of Erik. I knew then that I truly did love them both, one as much as the other. I’d never thought it possible, but my heart had swelled to make room for them, to hold them close to me.

But now, one half of my heart was broken, torn apart by the pain Chance was in—because of me. If I could just get through to him, get him to see that I hadn’t turned my back on him, that I hadn’t abandoned him. Maybe then I could save him.

I watched him intently as I walked across the concrete desert, my body screaming in pain but my mind too focused to listen. His eyes were no longer watching me, but the sadness was still there—sadness over seeing Erik and me kissing.

Sadness that I wanted desperately to take away.

I was almost to him, almost able to reach out and touch his face, when Erik’s voice stopped me. “Ava, please…don’t.”

He was just behind me, the rapid pulse of his heartbeat heavy in my ears. He was here. Alive, and breathing, and in love with me…he was here.

But Chance was here, too. And he was alone. And scared. He needed me.

And I needed him.

As I stood between the two boys I loved—one lost, one found—the only question burning holes in my mind was… Who did I need more?

“I love you, Chance.” I spoke softly to him, my voice swallowed up by everything that had happened to me, to us. “Please don’t ever forget that.”

I turned around to face Erik. “And I love you, too,” I said softly. His face was twisted with grief, but his eyes told the truth. They told me that I could make this choice, and that it would be okay.

That the decision I’d thought would destroy me would actually be good for me.

That I wouldn’t be alone.

Tears abandoned the safety of my eyes and streamed down my face as I turned back to Chance, silent admissions of the love he and I shared.

The love I hadn’t realized existed.

The love I had to let go.

“Chance,” I said through my tears. “I love you. With all my heart, I love you. But I have to say goodbye to you. To us.” I tried to move closer to him, to feel him one last time, but I couldn’t.

If I had taken even one more step, I would have taken them all.

“I never thought our lives would have gone this way, you know,” I went on, smiling as more and more memories filled my mind. “I knew there was something between us that night in the cemetery. I knew it the moment I saw you.” No reaction from him, no emotion. “Kayla says it’s cliché to say that, but it’s true. I knew it. But I ignored it. I ignored what everything inside of me was telling me. I pushed you away and chose not to listen when everything was telling me not to. I’m so sorry for that. For you and for me, I’m sorry. I know things would’ve been so different for us if I hadn’t ignored what you chose to embrace.

“I was so focused on saving myself, when all this time, I didn’t need to be saved. I had you.” I cried harder. “You saved me, Chance. All along, you were saving me when I didn’t even know it. With your smile, and your love, you saved me.” I choked back a sob. “Thank you.”

His face was hard as stone, and he still hadn’t moved, but he looked different somehow. I hoped it was because maybe, deep down, he had heard me, that he knew how much I loved him and cared for him, that he knew I wasn’t abandoning him.

“Ava?” Erik’s voice again. I slowly turned to him, wiping the remnants of tears from my face. He looked happy and surprised and scared all at once, and just the sight of him made me feel safe and not so alone. “What are you saying?”

I smiled and began walking toward him, ignoring the vampires holding him and my friends, ignoring the monsters who had brought forth this horrible, life-changing night.

I just wanted to be with him. I knew that now.

I wanted to be with him always.

“Are you sure about this?” he said when I placed my hand on his cheek, embracing the warmth emanating from him.

“No,” I said with almost a laugh, “not at all.” Erik smiled. “I’m scared to death right now. But I know it’s what I want.” I took his hand into mine. “You are what I want.”

He squeezed my hand and leaned forward again. “Ditto.” We moved in for another perfect kiss, but Sebastian’s voice stopped him.

“As touching as this is,” he said, his words shocking me back to reality, “I’m afraid that our business isn’t finished.” I let go of Erik and turned to Sebastian, not even bothering with asking what else was coming. “Your little trip down memory lane and that truly touching goodbye to your former love has kept us from completing the task you have been unable to finish on your own.”