“Desmond Paine,” she said. “I remember you.”
“What should I do?” he said. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.” His eyes were strange, glassy, and Sia remembered Mathilde trying to touch Sia’s mind. This man was hers now. And she knew how to make the pain go away.
“Please tell me what to do. Mike told me to save you. You have to tell me how. I’ve forgotten. I’ve forgotten everything.”
Sia touched inside him and saw his mother’s face. She saw a lover, embracing him. She saw the old man, the journalist, who tried so hard to rescue her. She put a hand behind Desmond Paine’s neck.
“Come closer,” she said. “And let me save you.”
Thirty-Two
Mike felt cool hands on his face, but he couldn’t open his eyes. He was cold, so cold, but the hands on him felt soothing. There was a voice, saying his name and he tried to answer, but the words wouldn’t come.
“Mike, goddammit, open your eyes, you son of a bitch!”
“Viv,” he slurred. He managed to flutter his eyes open, but for only a moment. The slap came like a gunshot waking him from a dead sleep.
“What the hell?” he said, looking around in a panic. It was dark, but he could make out a silhouette sitting next to him on the cot. Where was he? “Oh, Christ,” he moaned as the pain hit him.
“Relax,” said the silhouette. A gentle hand pushing him back down on the bed.
“Viv,” he said. “Is that you?”
“I gave you an antibiotic,” she said. “It wasn’t easy to find, you know. It’s expired, but not by much, so you probably won’t die from it.”
“That’s reassuring,” said Mike through gritted teeth.
“This is morphine,” she said, and he saw her holding up a shape that looked like a syringe. “It’ll help with the pain.”
“You have to get out of here,” he said.
“Shut up,” she said. “I’m not leaving you here.”
“They’re going to find you,” he said. “Viv, please.”
“No one’s going to find me,” she said in a strange voice. Mike’s eyes were adjusting to the darkness. Viv leaned over and he felt the needle and gasped. Then it was over and he felt a warmth run through his veins. It was funny, to imagine someone putting something into his veins rather than taking something from his veins.
“Why isn’t anyone going to find you?” he said slowly, his head going funny.
“Because I killed them all,” she said, giggling. “With blood. Imagine that, Mike. All it took was a little blood. And BOOM!” Mike jumped as her voice echoed in the cell. “They all fell down like the London Bridge. Did you play that game, Mike? When you were a child?”
“It doesn’t seem like I was ever a child,” said Mike, trying to make his mind work. The pain was ebbing away, replaced by a warm euphoria. He shook his head. He had to stay awake.
“They’re all dead,” said Viv. “They’re dead, Mike. It’s not over, but they’re dead.”
“Jesus,” said Mike. “All of them?”
“Everyone in that room. Except the one I wanted.”
“Who?”
“Conrad,” she said. Her voice had gone from giggling to sullen as she said his name. “I had to save you, Mike. I need to find Hunter, but I had to save you first.”
“Conrad,” said Mike, processing. “Where is he?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “He had the blood just like the rest of them, but it didn’t affect him. I don’t know why.”
“It killed the others?” said Mike. “The Revs?”
“Dead or convulsing on the floor. I saved Sia, Mike. I sent her off with Dez. Is that what you wanted?”
“Who the hell cares what I want?” he said. “I made my bed, Viv. Go. Save your son, if he’s alive.”
“I think he might be dead,” she said, and there was no emotion in her voice. “Or worse than dead.”
“Why?”
“You didn’t see what they did to her,” she said. “To Sia. I can’t…” Viv started to cry, deep, racking sobs. “I don’t think she’s okay.”
“Conrad walked away,” said Mike.
“He did. I already said that,” she said. “I cleaned your wounds while you were out. You’ll live, I think.”
“Viv,” he said.
“What?”
“I didn’t want to live.”
“You don’t get to choose,” she said. “You don’t get to die, Mike. You can’t leave me here like this. You can’t leave Dez and Sia, or any of us.”
“I don’t even know Sia,” he said.
“Neither do I,” she said and laughed. “And yet I risked everything to save her.”
“She’s special,” he said.
“I heard her play,” she said. “I heard her play and I wasn’t sorry for them any longer. I felt no guilt. Do no harm, Mike. I don’t know who I am any more.” She was talking fast, the words spilling out of her mouth in a panicky voice. She was breathing fast.
“Calm down,” Mike said. “Viv, you need to stop. Remember where you are, what you need to do. Your night isn’t over, honey.”
“Mike, do you remember us? Do you think about me?”
Mike closed his eyes and felt them burning. A wave threatened to drag him to unconsciousness. He was having a hard time forming the words and felt himself laughing. He couldn’t lie to her if he wanted to, even if he’d been lying to himself. The laugh died in his chest and he felt tears coming on.
Goddamn morphine
, he thought.
“Viv, I never stopped thinking about you.”
He felt her cool hand slip into his hot good hand and he grasped it weakly.
“Mike, I think maybe I fell a little in love with you. I lost everything, but you just…you just did everything goddamn right. Why did you go and do that?”
“You’re mad at me because you love me?” he said.
“Yes,” she said. “I didn’t want a friend, Mike. I wanted to lay down and die. But who can do that with someone like you watching. I couldn’t crash and burn like I’d planned. You made me want to fight.”
Mike forced his eyes to open. He was deeply stoned and had to work to stay awake.
“Genevieve,” he said. “I’m not worth it. I’m an old man.”
“You’re only five years older than me.”
“Yeah,” he said. “But not on the inside.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
“You said yourself,” he said. “The Revs are dead.”
“There will be more,” she said. “It was only such a small number.”
“The people, they’re going to rise up,” said Mike.
“It’s not enough, Mike,” said Viv. “It’ll never be enough.”
“You’re right about that,” said a voice. Mike was too far gone to look. But he recognized it. He’d heard it enough times on the television, the radio, recordings the Revs liked to play over loudspeakers everywhere.
Mike let go of Viv’s hand as she stood. He heard her screaming as a heavy metallic click echoed in the room. And as he drifted off into a drug-induced sleep, he heard another sound.
Conrad was laughing.
Thirty-Three
“
Let me out, you son of a bitch
!” Viv screamed at the window set in the iron door.
Conrad’s deformed face was grinning at her through the bars.
“You still don’t understand, Dr. White,” he said. “I’m not like the others.”
“You’re exactly like them,” she spat.
“Your friend there. Mr. Novak. He long vexed me. It took us a very long time to find him. Do you know why?”
“No.”
“Because he had help. An adversary of mine, you see. He’s a bit angry at me. But what Joshua Flynn most hates about me is how alike we are. Tell me, have you met Mr. Novak’s friend, Joshua Flynn?”
“He’s not his friend,” said Viv.
“That is why Mr. Novak is alive,” said Conrad. “Because he realizes that.”
“He’s barely alive because of you people.”
“And yet, you still risked your neck to save him. You humans are so...plucky. You know, I always suspected Mr. Novak. He came on our radar long before he went on the run. But you, Dr. White. Your treachery impresses me. You are so small, so afraid. When we met for the first time, I was reminded of a mouse, just shivering your way through life, avoiding the scary bits. When did you stop being terrified, Genevieve?”
“I never stopped,” she said, her honesty surprising even herself. “But some things are more important than fear.”
“Interesting,” said Conrad.
“Why didn’t you die?” she said.
He seemed to think about the question.
“I told you that Joshua Flynn and I were much alike,” he said. “And I meant it.” He opened his jaw wide and groaned and he began to change. His features changed, his teeth shrank into his mouth, his spine shortened and became more compact. Viv put her hand over her mouth as she watched. It was just like the girl, Sia, features turning and shifting into something all too human. Until the creature in front of her resembled a man. Someone you might nod to politely on the street. The man was handsome in an old-fashioned way, and Viv stared at him, appalled at his humanity. He had warm eyes and smiled a sweet smile with straight teeth.
“What is this?” she breathed. “What are you?”
“You didn’t see us when we first came,” he said, giving her a pitying look. “At least, that you can remember. It was so easy, Dr. White. We all looked just like you. Just some other frightened humans. Until the moment when we were not. We pulled down our masks and there were monsters underneath. You should have seen your faces! It was an easy thing, really, to manipulate you all. Take away the lights, the phones, the internet. And when it comes back, you just accept whatever was to come. The Slack helped. You were all so hooked on it. We hardly had to bend your minds at all. But I remember you, Dr. White. I remember how you fought. You were never on the Slack, were you? Not even once.”
Viv felt herself go very still.
“You remember me from where?” said Viv.
“I had to take those memories, so sadly, you didn’t remember. Though if I’d left them it would have broken you. As it is, you’re only cracked.”
“What are you talking about?” said Viv. “Where do you know me from?”
“Do you want to remember?” he said. “I was only going to feed on you, but you are far too much fun.”
“Remember what?” said Viv. Her heart was pounding as she looked at this human man. He looked just like everyone else.
“I think you know,” he said. “Do you really want to know what happened to your son? Would it give you pleasure to know the horrors that you’ve really endured?”
“How do you know?” she said, something hot and white behind her eyes. It was something new for her. Not grief or panic or despair. It was a sharp, hot anger, so intense it felt painful. She felt as though it was filling her up. This anger felt different than when she tainted the blood. That felt more like duty than anger. No, what she was feeling now was far stronger. It was rage.
“There it is,” said Conrad, smiling with his perfect teeth. “There’s the woman I remember. So human, that rage.”
“You were there,” said Viv. “You were in my house. Why were you there? You told them all to stop killing people. You made them weak.”
“Yes, so hypocritical of me,” said Conrad. “I always liked Philadelphia. I was a young man here, you know. I consider it my home. So it seemed only right to come here during the Blackout. Do you want to know? I can make you remember. It’s only a veil, really. All I have to do is lift it. Your memories are all still there. That’s why you could never forget. Your mind knew what happened, you just couldn’t access it.”
“You were there,” Viv said again, going over that night in her head. “You were there when he disappeared. You were there when my life ended.”
“And I was the one who ended it. Come. Remember.”
“Is he dead?” she said.
“You’ll never know until you see.”
Viv took a step toward him. Conrad smiled. He motioned her forward. She could already feel him in her head, a pressure and a willingness to comply that was unfamiliar to her. And then she had her face against the bars and Conrad put his hand on her forehead. A sharp pain made her open her mouth in a silent scream, a scream that would never come. Her vision went white, and then she broke right down the middle. From one memory and then all the way through.
Viv could see it. She’d been holding a knife that night, a long sharp knife that could slice through anything. They had come in the dark, where she held Hunter tight against her body. So tight he started to cry. And then the monsters came.
It wasn’t like she thought it would be. It wasn’t loud, there was no maniacal laughter and no screaming. Only her own. Hunter hadn’t screamed. Not even a whimper. It had been too fast and when Viv realized her baby wasn’t in her arms, she flailed. She came at the dark figures in the night, in the night that was too dark. She came at them with the knife and something dropped from their arms.
Something came into view, a face. But a horrible face, with a mouth like a wound and teeth like knives. Like the knife she held. It was wet now, dripping with something. And on the floor…Oh, God, on the floor…
Viv fell to her knees, the rage gone. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. She could only hear Conrad’s voice, crooning to her.
“I felt pity for you. You were the first human I had ever felt such a thing for. I’ve always been a killer. I don’t drag it out, and I don’t make them suffer. But you were special, Genevieve. So fierce and full of rage in that moment. And I saw you break. We weren’t going to kill him, you know. We were only going to keep him safe. With the others.”
“I killed him,” she whispered. “I killed my baby. I killed him, I killed him.”
“I told you it would hurt,” said Conrad. There was a click as he turned the key and the door swung ajar, bumping gently against Viv’s knees.
She looked up at him.
“I killed him,” she said, trying to breathe. “All this time. It was me.”
“Yes,” said Conrad, not without sympathy.
“Will you kill me?” she said. “Please?”
Conrad smiled sadly.
“I’ll do better,” he said. “I can make it all go away. All that emotion, all tangled up like a ball of twine, filling up your guts and your mind and your heart. Would you like me to stop it? Would you like it to go away?”