Blood Life Seeker (15 page)

Gregor hadn't said another thing while I was battling this little problem inside of me. He had simply sat there, holding on to me, stroking me and watching me. His patience was a surprise.

“I am not yours, Gregor.” OK, so it wasn't much, but when faced with the daunting sometimes repetition had it's benefits. A girl could try.

He smiled, I was getting used to the way it lit up his eyes and made my
Sigillum
shine and glow. I was even getting good at not allowing it to have an effect on me. Well, sort of.

“We'll see,
ma petite
, we'll see. But for now, I think I would like my compensation.”

The look in his eyes then was pure hunger. He didn't try to hide it, he let the full force of his desire show. I wasn't sure if he would truly try to take me by force. Somehow it didn't sit with the new Gregor I had come to know. It did sit, however, with the Gregor Michel had warned me of. So perhaps it was that thought, or perhaps I really am a hunter through and through, but before I even knew what I was doing, my spare stake was in my hand and it had entered his chest, right up to my fist. It was only my force of will and the sudden realisation that I did
not
want to kill this man, that made me change the angle. But it was enough to pin him to the wall, enough to stop his heart and still his breath. It was enough to almost kill him.

Almost.

But not quite, enough.

My heart was in my throat. I could feel the pounding in my head and felt a little dizzy at what I had actually done. At the fact that I'd had no control - well almost no control - and had nearly succeeded in carrying out my original goal for the night, despite my change of heart. I felt bile rise in my throat and choked it back down. I would not lose it now.

I heard a commotion around me, the door slamming back, felt the presence of several vampires enter the room. It was all a haze, I had tears in my eyes and realised they had actually started trailing down my face. I didn't brush them away, I just let them fall, on me, on him. He raised a hand slowly, laboriously towards my cheek and touched a finger to a tear. Just rested his hand there.

I felt a vampire approach from behind, felt the warmth of his hand come out to grasp my shoulder and heard, through a tunnel, Gregor's voice, strained, low, barely audible. “Don't touch her. Stay back.”

The vampire stilled, but didn't come further. He didn't move back either.

I looked at Gregor and he smiled, a sad smile, one that did not suit his handsome, yet slightly arrogant face. “Go,
ma petite chasseuse
. Go while you can.”

I licked my lips, I didn't want to go, I wanted to pull that damn stake right out of his chest, but I knew it could be fatal. Once driven in so far and so close to his heart, it would take precision and a steady hand, not to mention a master vampire's skills, to remove it without inflicting further harm. I may not have killed Gregor right this second, but that didn't mean he wasn't already dead. Dead-dead, that is.

And it would all be my fault.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered. Then let myself drift towards that nothingness, that complete and utter black, that usually comforted me, called to me and sent me back to my body. But now just accused me, condemned me and castigated me.

The last thing I registered before it completely dragged me under was the touch of his hand on my cheek and the overwhelming sense of confusion through my mind.

And then black.

Pitch black.

Nothing more.

It wasn't like the last time I woke from Dream Walking twice in one night. That time it had happened slowly, over a period of a couple of hours, like being in and out of consciousness. Hearing things, then feeling things, then eventually opening my eyes and seeing things. This time I woke with a start, sat bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath and crying.

The sobs coming louder and stronger. My arms circling my stomach, wrapping around my body, trying to hold the tears inside, the pain inside. I couldn't register where I was, who was with me, if I was even alone, just the pain. So true, so pure and so deep.

I had killed him. I knew it. He hadn't survived the removal of the stake. It was all my fault.

That thought just brought on more tears until I was now gulping for air and screaming out one continuous sound. Rocking back and forth and unable to do a thing about it. About any of it.

I didn't register anyone near me. I didn't feel the needle go into my vein and I didn't fight the blackness that came and enveloped me again. This time not judging, not doing anything, but covering me in a heavy blanket and smothering me from the pain.

When I awoke the second time, there was light streaming in the room, sunshine across the foot of my bed. I glanced at my surroundings and recognised the four poster bed I was resting in, the décor of the room. The heavy navy damask drapes on either side of the open windows. The slight sulphur smell in the air. Taupo. I was at Michel's holiday home in Taupo.

I looked around and saw Kathleen reading in a chair, off to the side of my bed. Kathleen is Michel's human servant, she and her husband look after his holiday home in Taupo when he is not there. Their relationship to Michel had always puzzled me. It was more than just master and servant, there was a depth of trust there that I couldn't quite understand.

She hadn't changed since I last saw her, still motherly, a little plump, greying hair, about 60 years old. I liked Kathleen. I didn't understand her, but I liked her.

She looked up at me, sensing I was awake. “Good morning, Lucinda.” Her southern English accent was soft, appealing. It always made me think of farms and home. I've never been to England, let alone a farm in Kent, but somehow her accent gave me that feeling. I liked it.

I smiled. “How long have I been out?” My voice wasn't too rough, too dry. I was surprised.

“A little over three days. You woke, but we had to sedate you,  as you were...upset.”

Oh. It wasn't a dream then.

“Where's Michel? Is he all right?”

She smiled then, as though I had said the most beautiful thing, as though it was what she had been waiting to hear from me. “He is resting in his chamber. You can go to him shortly, if you feel up to it.”

She stood then and came over to check the lines connected to me. I hadn't even noticed them. Two stuck in my arms, one up my nose, feeding me, nourishing me, hydrating me. Other lines doing other things in other places, she seemed to know what she was doing. Turning this off, disconnecting that, removing something else.

“You are a nurse?” I asked, surprised.

“I was, long ago. Not any more, but you never forget, do you? It's like riding a bike.”

“Is that why Michel brought me here this time?” Last time he'd had me resting in one of his homes in Auckland, in St Helier's Bay. Close to his business, but safe, with a nurse to look over me. He had looked over me too, never leaving my side during the entire week I was out cold. It made me feel a little unsure that he wasn't next to me now.

Kathleen must have seen something on my face, because she seemed to understand. “You needed to hide. And I could not tend to you in his chamber, so we thought it best you stay in your room. He sits with you most of the time, only leaving when he needs his rest too. This room can be light-tight like the rest of the house, but he doesn't get adequate rest here.”

OK. So, now I had so many questions it wasn't funny.

“Why not have me in his chamber?”

“There isn't room for all the equipment. His chamber here is purely for resting, it is not large enough for more, not when he can roam the house.”

OK.

“
Why does he need rest?” He was a level one
Sanguis Vitam
Master Vampire. He didn't need rest in the true sense, just protection from sunlight and a peaceful few hours to relax.

“I think I'll let him answer that.”

OK.

“Why do we need to hide?” I was determined to get some sort of answers out of her.

She had finished undoing all the lines, removing them and taping gauze over the incision marks. She switched the heart monitor off, the one I had been connected to, and pushed it further away from the bed. Finally, she turned towards me.

“Gregor is here.” Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I hadn't killed him. “He  made contact not long after Michel realised you would not wake that night. I think Michel had thought perhaps you would not be subject to the three days rest required after Dream Walking twice in one night.” She smiled at me and added a little conspiratorially, “I think, he thought you were somehow more powerful than that. He was a little disappointed and then very scared. When you didn't wake, he made arrangements for you both to come here, but on leaving Auckland he had word that Gregor was on his way and had requested an audience with him.”

My stomach plummeted. Had Gregor met Michel without me in tow? What had been said?

“
The master sent Bruno to greet the
Iunctio's
representative in his stead and continued on here with you.”

The
Iunctio's
representative? “Hang on. You mean Gregor is here on official business?”

“Yes. And now let's see if you can sit up and shower, then you can get the answers you seek from our master.”

“He's not my master.” It was reflex, I'd said it before I even thought of it.

Kathleen just smiled, a little of that knowing and indulgent smile Michel does so well. “Of course, my mistake.”

As it happens I could stand, only slightly dizzy from so much bed rest. I felt tired, exhausted even, but my desire to get to Michel was almost frantic. So I sucked it up and showered quickly with Kathleen's help. Then dressed in a lightweight pale pink shimmery dress, just above my knees. A 1950's style with short capped sleeves and a low neckline. Not my usual garb by any stretch of the imagination, but I think Kathleen was trying to make me more presentable for Michel. I didn't have the heart to argue, it's only clothes, I had to see Michel now.

She brushed my hair. I felt a little silly having someone fuss over me, but she had that look about her that did not allow for interruptions. Finally, she deemed me fit to face the
master
and led me towards his chamber. I'd never seen Michel's chamber here before. The last time I was here, we weren't intimate, so he had crept off to his resting place and I hadn't bothered to see where it was. Now, I realised it was underground, down near his cellar, full of fantastic wines and champagnes collected over many, many years.

The house upstairs was airy, so light and open. There was glass everywhere. At night it takes in the night time scene towards the township of Taupo, with lovely little glittery orange lights reflected on the lake. During the day, the blue of the lake is blinding, reflecting the sky back towards us through every available portal to the outside. It made the light honey streaked wooden floors upstairs shine brightly.

Downstairs, by the cellar and Michel's chamber, the wood was dark, rich and luxuriant. I hadn't thought two different types and shades of wood would work so well together in the same house, but it was as if upstairs and downstairs were two totally different zones, houses even. This was Michel's domain, upstairs was Kathleen's and Matthew's.

Kathleen indicated which door was Michel's and simply turned and walked away. I watched her leave and took a deep breath in. I wanted to see Michel so badly, but I was scared. Scared of why he needed rest. Scared of what I would see. Scared that he knew how connected I was to Gregor. Scared that Gregor had already exacted his revenge for what I had done.

I hadn't even raised my hand to knock on the door when it swung open and there was Michel standing before me. He was dressed in his black silk boxers, a matching silk robe over the top, open and showing a line of his deep cream skin from neck to boxers and further. His hair was loose. The dark brown, almost black, shining in the lights of the room. His eyes were deep swirls of blue, mesmerizing. He looked perfect, unharmed, at ease.

He held a hand out to me and I almost collapsed into him as I took it, forcing myself to breathe and not start crying. He smoothed my hair and whispered in French against my neck. Soothing words that didn't make sense, but made me feel so much better anyway.

We stood there holding each other for a few moments and then he carefully pulled me into the room and closed the door behind us with the flick of his hand.

“
Mon dieu
, what is the matter,
ma douce
? Why such sorrow.?”

I shook my head, I couldn't talk, I couldn't say a word. I was sorry for the mess we were in. I knew that Gregor being here would not be good and that it was all my fault. I also felt sorry for letting Michel down, for not killing Gregor when I had set out to do so. And then I felt sorry, for almost killing Gregor when I had decided I wasn't going to, ever. I was so full of sorrow it actually made me laugh. Just a little and it wasn't pretty.

“Lucinda. Talk to me.”

He'd pulled me over to his bed and sat us both down. I hadn't even had a chance to take in the room, my head was bent, against his chest, my arms wrapped tightly around his waist. He didn't try to get out of my grasp, just allowed me to hold on fiercely, to feel that closeness to him. He must have understood I had a need. He waited patiently for me to get myself under control, just stroking my head, my back, breathing against my ear, softly, steadily, comfortingly.

Finally I found my voice. “I thought you were hurt.” It was small, but at least I had found it.

“What would make you think that?” His was even, cautious.

“Kathleen said you needed rest, but wouldn't tell me why.”

I felt him take a breath in. Great, I had probably just dropped Kathleen in it. I could always tell when Michel didn't like hearing something and I was guessing he didn't like hearing that Kathleen had scared me.

Stuff it. I couldn't protect everyone and right now I was needing my full attention just to stay breathing, to stop from falling completely into a blubbering mess.

“I am not hurt,
ma douce
, merely conserving energy.” Before I could raise a question he went on. “I am exerting a little power right now to protect us, to hide us and to lay a few false trails. They need to be perfect, they require my full attention and therefore my need for more frequent rest.”

“Is it because of Gregor being here?”

He did sigh out loud this time. “Just how much has Kathleen told you?”

“Don't blame her, I was persistent. I like that she answered most of my questions. She always seems so loyal to you, fiercely protective, but I felt like she also wants to please me too now.”

“She is my servant, not yours and she has disobeyed me.”

“Michel, please. Don't make an issue of this, we don't have time.”

He didn't say anything for a while, probably planning out what dastardly things he would do to his disobedient
servant
. Finally, he said, “You are right, there is much to discuss.”

I wasn't sure that he had dropped the issue of Kathleen's supposed disobedience. I could only hope we were too distracted by more important things for him to act on it. But, vampires can be very determined when they need to, somehow I knew poor Kathleen would not hear the end of this.

“So, Gregor is here and you're hiding us. For how long? And what does he want?”

“
The hiding is merely a delay tactic, until you were well. We must meet with Gregor. We cannot afford to refuse the
Iunctio's
request for an audience with their formal representative. As to what he wants, I cannot be sure. We only spoke briefly on the phone after his arrival. To acknowledge his presence in our land and the request of the
Iunctio
for a meeting. He would not divulge more.”

“He didn't tell you what happened when I Dream Walked?”

He pulled away at that and held me by my shoulders, lowering his face to stare at mine. The look he gave me was not reassuring at all. “You met with him? I thought you would have merely returned to your body as soon as you realised I was not there. That you wouldn't have placed yourself in such a dangerous position without me to aid you. I thought you would not be so stupid,
ma douce
.
What
were you thinking?”

Obviously not what he had been thinking any way.

I cleared my throat. “I couldn't waste the opportunity. I knew I wouldn't get another chance to surprise him and the thought of having to be out cold for three days and not have anything to show for it just didn't sit well with me.” Even to my ears that sounded lame.