Blood Lust (34 page)

“I didn’t say that. I just need to know.”

“It’s safe for you here with the pack.”

“As long as whoever is hunting the humans doesn’t eat me,” she said under her breath, but not quietly enough that he didn’t hear.

“I’ve watched them all when they’re around you. I believe it’s Ed, but I’ll have to catch him in the act. The rest of the pack for the most part has accepted you as family.” He couldn’t tell her what he’d found in the woods; there was no sense panicking her. It was his burden to bear.

“Do they know?”

“It’s not been stated aloud, but I think they sense the shift and the energy between you and me.”

“You haven’t answered my question,” she said. “What would happen if I didn’t want this?”

He wanted to growl at her. The wolf in him screamed to throw her down on the ground, dominate her, mark her for daring to question that her rightful place was by his side. But the man in him held the wolf in control. He refused to be just another monster in her life throwing his weight around.

It took every ounce of strength he possessed to say, “If you chose not to become my mate, you would live in one of the other dens here. You’d have your own space, and you’d be safe. Once I catch Ed and make certain you’re safe with everyone else.”

“But you wouldn’t let me go. I’d still be a prisoner. Don’t want to let go of your ten-thousand-dollar investment?”

He knew she was taunting him, pushing to see if she could make him angry. No, that wasn’t right. She was pushing to find out what would happen when he was angry. The full moon was fast approaching, and now wasn’t the time for her to be pushing buttons just to find out what they’d do. He took a few slow breaths, fighting against the primal urges that raged within him.

“You are not here because of Paul’s debt, and you know that. Whether I realized it at the time or not, I took you because you belonged with me. You are not a prisoner here. This is your home. As soon as it’s safe, you’ll have the key codes and free run of the place like everyone else. But you’re my responsibility to keep safe now.

“I can’t let you walk out that door and go wherever you would go, knowing at any moment something dangerous could snag you, that you could end up back with the vampires. You can’t possibly understand what it feels like to be a wolf, have found your mate, and then lose her like that. I won’t force you to be intimate with me. I won’t make you accept the mark. But you’re asking for more than I can give here, and I think you know that.”

He waited as she processed that information, as her heart started the slow trip back to normal.

“Okay.”

“Okay what? Okay you’ll be my mate or okay you’ll live in one of the other dens when I’ve made sure things are safe?”

***

Jane looked into his eyes as his hand moved to caress the side of her throat. She felt self-conscious when his fingers trailed over the bite marks Paul had left. In all her time with vampires, she’d never been with one who’d left visible marks.

The others had always healed their bites because they didn’t want her skin marred. Paul had been different. He’d wanted Jane to look like a big vamp tramp billboard. And he was the monster whose arms she’d walked right into.

Voluntarily.

Now she’d never be rid of the physical scars. She’d never be able to look in the mirror and pretend none of it had ever happened. A tear rolled down her cheek.

Cole’s thumb moved to smooth it away. “Shhhh. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want. Why are you crying?”

“It’s not you. It’s this.” She pointed at the ugly scar on her throat. “How will you be able to stand being mated to me when I’ve been marked up by a vampire like this?”

“That isn’t your fault.”

“That’s not what I asked. The vampires are your enemies, and you’ve got a visual reminder that more than one of them got there first.”

Cole bent his head to her neck and kissed over the mark. His tongue darted out to gently trace the scar. He murmured against her skin, “That. Isn’t. Your. Fault.”

Jane wasn’t finished. She didn’t know where it had come from, but she couldn’t stand the thought of almost having something good, only to have it ripped from her again. She pulled out of his embrace and took her shirt off, tossing it to the floor.

His nostrils flared and his pupils dilated, but that wasn’t the point of the exercise. She removed the bra and shivered when she saw the feral gleam that lit his eyes

She closed the space between them, and suddenly his hands were everywhere. She whimpered softly at the contact then got control of herself, remembering her mission.

“Stop.”

She could tell it was a struggle, that he thought she was teasing him. But he removed his hands and fell back onto the couch, placing them on either side of his body, digging into the leather. He didn’t seem to care about the upholstery because his eyes didn’t stray from her.

She stepped closer. “What about this one, and this one, and this one?” She pointed to the various bite marks Paul had left on her. “Can you really stand to be with me, when I look like this?”

Before she could say anything else, before she could even think, he’d swept her up in his arms. She blinked and they were in the bedroom. He tossed her on the bed and removed his own shirt before joining her, his eyes intense and locked with hers.

“Yes,” his voice rumbled.

He proceeded to kiss each bite mark. “These are scars. They aren’t a vampire claim, and they aren’t a wolf’s mating mark,” he growled. “They are battle wounds. These are the marks that prove you’re strong, that you’ve been through fire and walked out safe on the other side.”

“They’re ugly. They make me ugly.”

“No, you can’t think that.” He flicked on the lamp. “Am I ugly?”

Jane hadn’t stopped to notice before, but Cole had a few scars of his own.

“We heal fast and rarely scar, but sometimes there are things that leave a permanent mark.”

She found herself riveted to the scar slashing across his stomach, a wound that would have killed him had he not been a wolf.

“What happened?”

“I was eighteen, and the pack alpha was raping my mother. I killed him and in the process got this little souvenir. He was bleeding out and dying and still sneering at me because he knew it would scar. But I didn’t look at it that way. This is what I got in the process of saving my mother and becoming the leader. And those are what you got while surviving and becoming who you are.”

“Scars make a man look distinguished, but on a woman . . . ”

Cole quirked a brow. “Was that a joke?”

“Yeah. Lame huh?”

He just chuckled.

Jane crawled to the edge of the bed, ran her finger over the puckered mark on his stomach, and kissed it as he’d done with her. All this could be yours, Jane.

His hands had moved to unbutton his pants. She put her hand over his. “Wait. Don’t mark me, okay?”

He looked like he was going to protest, but she interrupted him. “I want to see what this would be like with us. I can’t just hand my entire life to you yet. Please promise me you won’t mark me.”

He sighed, but nodded, the look on his face like she’d just asked him to go vegan.

They were really going to do this. Jane stood in her jeans and bare feet beside the bed watching as Cole peeled the jeans from his own body. She guessed this was the part where she was supposed to follow suit, but she was busily cataloging her previous sexual history, trying to convince herself this was different.

All vampires, all in one way or another to protect herself. Was this what this was too? Fucking a man to gain protection?

The idea made her feel like a whore.

No, Cole was different. She felt connected to him in a way she hadn’t felt with the others. His protection wasn’t conditional on her sleeping with him. He’d made that clear. He’d patiently waited weeks, not pushing her toward anything too sexual. And she wanted him.

His hand slipped up to cradle the back of her head in that deliciously possessive way she’d always wanted a man––the right man––to hold her for a kiss.

“You’re thinking too much,” he growled.

Before she could respond, his mouth was on hers, a soft, devouring caress that made her mind empty all its contents except for him. She could feel the hard length of his erection pressed against her stomach, and her hand automatically moved between them to stroke him.

His hand closed over hers, stilling her movements as he tore himself away from her mouth. “I’ve been waiting too long for this. You do that and I won’t last until I’m inside you. Coming on your leg like a randy teenager wasn’t exactly how I imagined this.”

She blushed and moved her arms around his neck.

“Good girl. You take instruction so well.”

“Cole!” She was trying to sound indignant, outraged even, but the deep gravel purr of his voice was doing wildly inappropriate things to her body. He could say nearly anything to her right about now, and she’d respond like a porn star.

He chuckled, scooped her up, and laid her on the bed. His gaze raked over her, considering. “Are you particularly attached to these jeans?”

She shrugged. “You paid for them.”

“And I’ll replace them.”

Jane watched, enthralled, as he allowed himself to shift just enough for his hands to form fur and claws. He ripped the jeans off her, careful not to nick her skin, then shifted back to human form.

And what a form it was. Tall, broad-shouldered, well-muscled, looming over her like every girl’s fantasy. The tribal tattoo was like a shiny bow on a gift wrapped just for her. Or unwrapped, as the case may be. His eyes flashed yellow at her for a moment, and her heart picked up speed.

She reached up, pulling him down on top of her, overwhelmed by the feel of flesh against flesh as his body pressed into hers. Warmth. Not the eerie coldness of a vampire’s skin. He nuzzled his mouth against her throat and kissed her hungrily.

She tensed.

“Don’t worry, baby. Not marking. Just kissing.”

She relaxed again and bucked her hips against him. Maybe it had been her time with vampires, but a mouth on her neck immediately sent her into a tailspin.

“Please . . . ”

Cole lifted himself to look into her eyes. His gaze was intense as he buried himself fully inside her. She gasped.

The emotion slammed into her, causing tears to pour down her cheeks. He was so warm. It was the first sex she’d had that hadn’t in some way been a seduction to appease someone to spare her life. Even with Gregory it had been about hoping to keep his interest in her so she’d stay safe. With Cole it was because she’d wanted to know what his body would feel like inside of hers.

The intensity of his eyes changed to concern. “Did I hurt you?”

She shook her head. “No, I’m fine. Better than fine.”

He feathered his fingers over her hair, his gaze scorching her.

Jane didn’t think he was aware of the deep growls he was emitting as his mouth latched onto her breast. A little voice in her brain chanted in rhythm to his thrusts, Mine. Mine. Mine. All Mine. For a moment she thought her mind had connected with Cole’s, and she was hearing his thoughts of possession toward her. But the voice in her head was her own. She wanted him to mark her.

Her body strained against his and, at the peak moment, she bit down on her lip to stop herself from begging him to bite her. Her orgasm came crashing over her, and she whimpered, part from the pleasure of her release and part from biting her lip so hard she’d drawn blood. Cole followed with a primal growl. She could see the strength of will it took for him not to bite her. Then he collapsed and rolled her over with him so they were lying together on their sides.

A part of her had feared sex with anyone would only bring back the Technicolor nightmare of her history. But the experience was so physically different she couldn’t compare it. She wanted him, and despite everything she’d been taught about the wolves, she trusted him. But being mated to a wolf was serious. It wasn’t something she could take lightly or rush into. Knowing he’d had the desire to mark her but held back for her benefit, made her trust him a little more.

He trailed his hand over her arm and pressed his lips against the side of her neck. She melted against him.

“Are you okay?”

She nodded, not trusting her voice as his fingers skimmed over her skin. Since joining physically with him, she felt . . . connected, like somehow he sensed what was going on inside her. Maybe he understood the crying because she’d hate to pick up the nickname, Crybaby Jane. It was as if she’d saved up years of tears to let them pour out over Cole, the one man who wouldn’t use them as a weapon against her.

She rolled to face him and wrapped her arms around his neck, her lips pressing against his. He made her ache in places she didn’t know she could ache, and there were no words to fill in the emotional spaces. All she could do was feel.

His arms came around her, cradling her, his fingers in her hair, his mouth consuming hers. She felt him, hard again, nudged against her, and she spread her thighs so he could slide back inside. He eased in and out of her in the most exquisite torture. His mouth moved back to her throat, and she felt his canines elongating, his struggle not to penetrate her skin and mark her seeming equal to her own struggle not to capitulate and beg him to.