Blood Rose (6 page)

“Oh my.” Neesa seemed taken aback by my appearance. “Why don’t you just take a shower while I make us some tea? I don’t mind, really.” She just laughed and shook her head.

“So sorry I got caught in the rain, jeeze. But I think I will go take that shower.” I felt like hell. I looked worse. Those were my smallest complaints of the night.

“Yes, do that.”
She laughed again while setting her mecha purse on the kitchen counter.  “I wouldn’t be surprised if you would’ve walked home,” she said as she rummaged through her purse. “But seeing
as you didn’t-”

Her words stopped me dead in my tracks. Leaving me standing in the doorway of the bathroom with my back to her. “Don’t worry. We will talk when you’re done. Now just go enjoy a nice hot shower and try to relax. Your tea will be done when you’re ready, Lianna.”

Without a word, I shut the bathroom door behind me. My mind raced on red alert wondering how she knew. If she had seen Damien and I together or if she just knew like she knew other things. I undressed in a hurry to get my sopping wet clothes off and to climb into a burning hot shower.

The loft apartment used to be a big art studio. My brother and I did a lot to the place when I moved in including completely re-doing the bathroom. The entire room from the walls to the floors was raw brick. There was a walk in shower with a sunken down floor, also entirely brick. As well as a solid, massive, gleaming black claw foot tub. The vanity counter with the sink was all built with fire stoned clay and raw stone. Including the sink, which was handmade. On the wall hung a huge gilded mirror.

What can I say, I dabbled in a little of everything art based and for a while I was on a huge pottery kick.

Also one of my favorite things about the place was every part of the ceiling in the entire loft was lined in icicle Christmas lights that I used instead of the blinding overheads. Aside from the kitchen and some scattered lamps of course. But even those are rarely on. I really hated headaches.

It wasn’t my intention to take such a long shower but once I got in I just couldn’t make myself get out. By the time I was done, my bathroom was fogged and my skin was blotchy red. It felt great. But my knees and hands burned like fire. I hadn’t been able to wash my hair for the little cuts.

The rest of my loft is the essence of simplicity, especially since it was mostly one big open space. Scattered at random are some of my art pieces of course. My favorite, a large piece hanging over my bed is more of a rendition of my nightmares.

Creepy having such a picture hanging directly above my head as I sleep? Eh, why not. The dreams won’t change either way. Across the big open room are two old large overstuffed chairs and a small black coffee table.

This is where I found Neesa all settled in one of my overstuffed chairs in front of the coffee table with two cups of tea waiting and her tarot deck ready as well. I sat in the chair opposite of her crossing my legs butterfly style.

“So... are you going to tell me what you meant before?” Reaching for a cup of tea, I looked at her expectantly.

“Don’t get defensive. I saw his Jeep pulling out when I turned onto your street. You know who I mean. Your little hottie, that’s been coming into the restaurant so much lately.” She took a sip of tea to hide her grin before setting her cards up for a shuffle.

With a deep sigh, I swirled the warm liquid around in the mug. “It’s nothing, Nees. He saw me walking and it was about to rain so he offered me a ride. That’s all.” There was no way I was going to tell her the whole story.

“Okay, honey bunny. I won’t push it. I saw your knees got scraped up and your hands too. I have some salve that will help.” She was already shuffling through her purse while talking. In another second, she pulled out a fat blue jar made of dark blue glass and set it on the table.

There was no point in arguing. So I just nodded. Setting my mug down to pick up the jar, I watched as she got her cards ready. “So how long have you been using tarot cards?” There was no hidden subtext of accusation in the question just mild curiosity.

This sort of thing wasn’t very surprising coming from Neesa. She reminded me of the Gypsys you read about in fairy tales but more modernized. Well, a little more at least.

“My mom taught me a long time ago.” Her smile was sweet as she set the deck in front of me to cut. “Don’t be scared of this, Anna. Tarot was designed to give insight and understanding on our past present and future. It’s very simple. Tell me what answers you seek and focus only on them while you cut the cards into three and restack them.”

“I don’t know what to ask though.” Rubbing the salve into my torn flesh felt really nice. It tingled a little but it was warm and soothing.

“Well that’s alright. Before we begin, I want you to meditate with me anyways. It will clear your mind and soul. And that will sooth your whole body.” She took another sip of tea before pulling herself into a perfect lotus position.

“Now sit just like I do.” My hesitation was obvious as my body became more rigid. “Just trust me, Anna.” Sighing I set down the salve before copying her lotus position in my favorite chair.

“Good. Now place your hands on your knees palms up. Close your eyes and focus on nothing but my voice... Now begin to breath very deep and slow. Inhale with your nose and exhale through your mouth.” She did so.

“As you breathe in picture breathing in a thick white fog. This fog is pure clean energy filled with peace and healing. As you exhale picture yourself breathing out a thick black fog filled with all of your negativity and all the bad toxins of your body. All the doubt. All the hate and pain leaving you with every breath you release.”

Following her instructions wasn’t as easy as one would think. For what felt like several minutes, she continued guiding me through this process. It took a while but suddenly my body felt lighter. The pain in my hands and knees all but forgotten.

“Your palms up will begin to absorb pure energy like two white beams of light being sucked into your body through your open hands,” her voice was thick as honey. Slow and soothing. “This energy is the purest energy you have ever felt. It’s regenerating your every cell as it flows into your hands and through your entire being.

“Now think of your soul as a physical ball of a deep golden light radiating the most soothing warmth. The light burning in the center and flowing out like the sun. Now this light has filled you to the point it’s bursting out through every pore of your skin. You’re now experiencing all of this simultaneously.”

There’s no telling how long we sat in silence just like this- breathing in the good and out the bad mojo. The beams of energy flowing into my palms and running through me were mingling with my own blood. The imagined golden light warmed my entire body from the inside out.

At long last, Neesa’s voice broke into my thoughts again. “Excellent. Now we may begin your reading. Open your eyes, Anna.” My eyes fluttered open slowly as if waking up from the most restful sleep.

“Whoa.” There were no words to describe how wonderful and light I felt.

“Yeah. Tell me about it.” Neesa’s expression mirrored my euphoria.

“How did you do that? I mean what was that?” My head, no, my entire body still felt so wonderful and clean and just so light. It was as if I was floating.

“It’s just energy meditation. You should try to meditate before you go to bed and soon as you wake up. There are a lot of things I could show you but not now. Now we can begin your reading. Go ahead and cut the cards into three and then restack them in any order you feel is right.”

“Alright. But I’m still not sure what I’m supposed to be asking for.”

“It’s okay. We will ask for understanding and guidance then. Just try to keep the same feeling of peace while you do so and the cards will show us what we need to know.” She smiled in her exotic yet angelic way that was purely Neesa while sliding the cards across the table to me.             

IV

“TIME”

Neesa lay the first card down in the center of the table. The card was titled the Page of Wands. “This is a good card.” Neesa’s brow narrowed. Her fingers lingered on the surface of the card as lightly as she could. Clearly, her earlier enthusiasm seemed to be failing her.

“Okay? So what’s it mean?” Sucking on the mug of tea until it was nearly gone, I sat curled up, watching Neesa more than the cards.

“Um... well usually the card is a representation of you. It would be interoperated as someone who is very energetic, self-reliant and optimistic. It also shows signs of reliable information coming. It can mean new beginnings and great amount of change. Here, let me check it.” Neesa reached into her purse, pulling out a fat old worn book, with yellowed pages.

It took merely a few moments for her to flip through to her desired page. “The Page of Wands upright represents change and new beginnings. Often the Page of Wands indicates there is some creative restlessness within us, which is anxious for expression. Or that we are on the verge of some sort of discovery or new phase of life.

“He stands in a barren land which indicates much of this creative energy within is still very much only a potential or at best only an idea. Yet his radiant energy, the fire of his passion and inspiration, is bursting with the desire for expression and fulfillment- despite the fact no one else is there to hear him. Therefor… He is alone.” Neesa glanced up to me, forcing a hard smile before she laid her book down onto the table beside her, retrieving her deck again.

Her eyes stared down at the card already in position with such concentration that I didn’t believe she really saw it at all. She had that look that said she saw something else entirely.

In moments, she placed another card on the table, her fingers sticking to it like glue. Her sharp intake of breath was quiet but I still caught it. With a jerk, her hand pulled back. She slowly looked up to me with her large brown eyes. Her lips forced a hard smile again. The card read the Fool.

“This position is meant to be what you show the world. This card shows you are just at the beginning of your journey and in so there are unlimited possibilities. You will soon be presented with a great choice. One in which only you can decide on your eternal fate- so much so that in your great yearning for freedom you will follow visions even without resource.”

She sat in silence a long moment. “You know, Anna, I’m really not feeling too well. I must be tired. Maybe this should wait until the weekend?” Her fingers still pressing to the card trembled slightly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You insisted on starting this. You insisted. Come on, we’ve come this far already. This sounds like it is getting good.” Finishing off my tea, I set the cup back onto the table. Insistently I gestured for her to continue. Still forcing the meek smile, she nodded as she dealt the next card.

She lay upon the table Strength. A card picturing a beautiful woman mounted on the back of a lion. “This card warrants for moderation in attitudes toward pain and danger. With neither being avoided at all costs. Nor actively wanted. Cautioning to be wary of weak emotions. Your battle is not just external but internal. This position is meant to be what you hide from the world.”

Neesa shuddered involuntarily while laying out the next card automatically. It was titled Fire Element of Wands. “This card position represents the face of which you are ashamed of… Deadlines are coming to bring things to crisis. Obligations and expectations weigh heavily mentally, emotionally and physically. You are shouldering great burdens out of pride. Time is running out. You must tie loose ends up from old ways of life.” Her fingers were as a trembling leaf now, hovering barely over the card as she refused to look at me.

“Neesa? Are you okay?” My voice was a whisper as I watched her deal the final card. “Nees, I think it goes the other way. The rest are turned differently.” Neesa was ignoring me now, breathing deeply as she tended to do during times of stress. “Nees?”

“It’s just how it was meant to be, Lianna.” Neesa’s voice had taken on a dark tone. Her fingers lay on the very corner of the card with her eyes closed.

“Death in reverse position. In this position the card shows what things have yet to pass. It shows resistance in changing. Terrible threat. Great trouble and painful anxiety. Tragic loss… It is said with the shaman’s death, the old you dies so a better stronger self can be born. Transformation is the key.”

A soft gasp came from Neesa’s lips as she jerked her hand away from the card. Staring down at the diamond like pattern between us, she quickly reached over and grabbed my empty cup, looking down into the bottom as if she were confused.

I was left so speechless by the last card I couldn’t form the question to ask her what she was doing. In a moments time the mug fell from her hands and hit the floor. Splashing soggy tea leaves on the wooden floor as she quickly jumped from her pillow and grabbed her phone heading for my bathroom. The door slammed behind her.

After a moment of pulling myself back together, out of my state of growing fear and confusion I jumped up to follow her. Before I could knock, I heard low whispers from the bathroom and laid my ear to the door.

“Momma, I know what I saw!” She spoke in a low anxious panic. “You have to see her. I did something wrong and what if now something terrible is going to happen? – You don’t know that! – I looked at her tea leaves too.” A moment of silence.