Blood Shadows (42 page)

Arana had been exuberant and wilful and a lover of the beautiful. She had been impetuous, maybe self-indulgent, but she had been real and had lived every moment of her life until it had been cruelly snatched away from her.

Arana was all Kane had had, all that meant anything to him. And Caitlin’s family, her boss, everyone she was linked to, had cruelly torn it away from him.

She was finally seeing inside Kane, the real Kane. Kane who’d had no choice but to leave his parents at the hands of vigilantes for the sake of escaping with his sister. His sister who had clearly been the exuberance in his life before hers was extinguished so unjustly. Never had his pain been more apparent. Never had she understood him more.

She stepped up to the dressing table and ran her finger through the dust that had lain there for fourteen years – gathering and waiting. He’d let it fall. He’d let it fall because that’s what he did. He let the dust fall until he was ready to do something about it.

She felt a pang in her heart. She felt a pang for his pain and the agony of the past fourteen years, but also a pang of admiration for his restraint. A pang that confirmed that her heart hadn’t just opened a little to him, but fully.

Caitlin didn’t hear Kane step in behind her, but she felt him. She turned tentatively to face him, but instead of being angry at her intrusion, he stood watching her pensively.

‘I’m sorry,’ Caitlin said as she gazed deeper into his eyes than she’d ever dared. ‘For what they did to her. For what they did to you.’

He didn’t say anything. After a few prolonged moments, he turned and sauntered back out of the room, Caitlin knowing it was an indication for her to follow.

He led her through the lounge and the double doors, and out into the hallway beyond. He pushed open the second lot of heavy doors on the right and indicated for her to enter first.

The ornate walnut bed dominated the cosy windowless room, gold and red jacquard bedcovers draping and bunching onto the wooden floor. Floor cushions lay in front of the fire to her left, a chest directly ahead at the foot of the bed. A domineering wardrobe sat behind the door like something she’d read of in the Narnia Chronicles. The whole room was luxuriously regal. If she’d ever doubted his past status, she saw it now. The prince trapped in the cavernous underground. This was a fairy tale. Just without a happily ever after.

This was the very essence of Kane. This was the heart of Kane. This was where he came when he wanted to be alone and when he wanted to get away from it all. When he wanted peace.

She’d wanted this for as long as she’d known – to get right inside him, to see him in his true surroundings. And she knew what else she wanted. For just a few hours, she needed to forget everything she was supposed to be, everything she was supposed to know and experience. For just a few hours, she wanted to be herself with him. If she even knew who she was anymore.

She hovered awkwardly, watching him as he stood in front of the fire, his hands on his hips as he gazed pensively into the flames. Their glow warmed his skin, casting an amber sheen on his dark hair. And she felt the loneliness in the place, the isolation too indicative of her own life. But there and then was the first time she hadn’t felt lonely in as long as she could remember – just standing there watching him, sharing some silent understanding with him. They were both doing what they could to survive. And, whatever happened, in just a few hours she was losing him. Whether her plan met with success or failure, this was the last time she’d stand alone with Kane Malloy.

When he glanced across at her, her stomach leapt the way it always did. There were still a few hours left until it was all over and this was probably her last chance, her only chance, to experience one shared intimate moment with him where she wasn’t worrying about the consequences or trying to protect her heart.

She stepped over to join him, stared into the flames as their heat caressed her legs. She was drawn to the crystal flute glass on the grate, the amber flicker dancing in its transparent liquid content. ‘What will you do when this is all over?’

‘What I always do.’

The simplicity of his response cut her deeper than she knew it should have. ‘Life goes on, right?’

‘Something like that.’

‘Xavier has got a lot of connections, Kane. Even if Max’s and Rob’s confessions are enough to take him down, he won’t let this lie.’

‘He’ll have no choice.’

She pushed up the sleeves of the sweater again, the refined heat quickly burrowing into her skin. ‘Rob’s convinced you’re going to betray me.’

He glanced across at her, the flames igniting in his navy eyes. ‘And what do you think?’

‘I think you’re out to win and I think it would be dangerously naïve of me to think anything to the contrary.’

‘But you’re still going along with it.’

‘I have no choice. I can’t face this alone. Besides, I think you appreciate what I did for you tonight. And despite who I am, I’d like to think you’ll stand by your word.’

He studied her eyes for a moment, Caitlin breaking away to stare back into the flames, unsettled by the intensity of his assessment.

‘How can you still look at me like that?’ he asked. ‘After everything you now know.’

‘It’s because I now know.’

Kane turned to face her. Her heart leapt as he brushed her hair back from her shoulder, ran the back of his hand down her exposed neck, over the blemishes from his passion. He reached for her hips to turn her to face him. ‘And what will you do after this is over, Caitlin? What do you want?’

‘I haven’t thought that far ahead.’

‘You’re really not expecting to make it, are you?’

‘If I do, I’ll think about it then.’

‘Just do your part. Do as I say when I say, and you’ll be fine.’

‘Trust you with my life.’

‘You could have walked out on me and left me in that cellar, Caitlin. You could have listened to Max and Rob, taken what Carter had to offer. What you did took courage. Real courage. You did the right thing.’

‘We’ll see,’ she said, turning away from him again, worried he’d probe too deep. ‘So how is this going to be done?’

He stepped up to the mantelpiece and reached for the small, worn-looking book along with the three small plastic bags that held what looked like herbs. ‘We dissolve these in warm water,’ he said, indicating towards the flute glass on the grate. ‘Once you’ve drunk the contents, there’s a spell I perform.’ He held the book across to her. ‘Your soul gets transferred into here.’

She accepted it off him. Despite its size, the book was surprisingly weighty in her hands. ‘Will my soul be safe?’

‘We won’t be able to open the book until the moment we plan to return your soul to you, or we risk tarnishing it. A hint of damage and it won’t bind in you again.’

‘And at what point will you return it?’

‘As soon as the soul ripper has done what I want it to.’

‘Which is?’

He took the book back off her and placed it along with the herbs on top of the mantelpiece. ‘It’s best if you don’t know.’

She assessed him warily. ‘But as soon as my soul’s back in, you’ll kill the soul ripper?’

‘It being distracted by you will give me the best opportunity. It’s the only shot we’ve got.’

‘Can it kill you? Even though you don’t have a soul, I mean?’

‘The soul ripper can kill anything.’

‘And what if it kills you for removing my soul in the first place? What if it doesn’t want to bargain with you?’

‘It will. It has to.’

She looked back down at the drink. ‘And what effect will drinking that have?’

‘It’ll disorientate you. Maybe make you hallucinate. It gives you a sense of detachment and disassociation so it’s easier to separate your soul from your astral body. When you’re far enough gone, I’ll conduct the spell. The book will draw your soul towards it and suck it in.’

‘And how long will it take to get my soul out?’

‘Minutes maybe.’

‘Will I know what’s happening?’

‘It’ll be just like having blood drawn.’

‘And when it comes to returning it?’

‘I reopen the book and you just need to consent.’

She looked away again, for fear of what he might see. But he’d confirmed it again – those words he’d said as he’d lowered her into the bath. The words both their survival hung on. ‘And that’s all?’

Kane nodded again. ‘That’s all. Putting it back in will be nothing more than a slight impact in the chest.’

She heaved a heavy breath and lowered herself to the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest and crossed her ankles, hypnotised by the flickering flames exacerbating the dark shadows around the room.

He sat down beside her, stretched his legs out towards the fire and braced himself back on his arms.

‘What would you have done, Kane, if I hadn’t fallen for you?’

‘What would you have done if I hadn’t waited in the corridor for you that night?’

‘I would have walked right into one of your haunts and demanded to see you.’

He smiled. ‘Oh yeah, that’s right – and threatened to expose my links to Jask Tao, right?’

‘No, I would have hemlocked you and read your shadow against your will.’

‘That easy, huh?’

‘Obviously I didn’t know then what I do now. What about you – what was your backup plan?’

‘I knew I wouldn’t need one.’

Caitlin shook her head as she looked back into the flames, fighting to suppress her smile. ‘Not even you’re that confident.’

She lingered on the crackle of the fire, surprised how relaxed she felt in his presence, how safe.

‘There was a time when I nearly asked you out, Caitlin.’

She looked back across her shoulder at him, lifted her eyebrows slightly. ‘Asked me out?’

‘You must have been about twenty-three. It was after Rob disappeared, but before you joined the VCU. You wouldn’t have known who I was back then of course, but I knew you. It wasn’t long after I worked everything out. I walked past the café and there you were – all alone. I was going to walk in there, invite you back to mine and do the most horrendous things to you. I wanted to tear you to pieces and deliver you back to Max.’

Caitlin frowned. ‘So why didn’t you?’

‘It wasn’t a moral choice. It would have meant nothing to Xavier except embarrassment. He would have covered it up just like he did your parents.’

‘So you spared me until you could make us all suffer just that little bit more.’

‘Be glad of it. My viscous streak then has turned out to be your salvation now.’

‘But that’s what you would have resorted to – if your plan hadn’t worked?’

He looked into her eyes and held her gaze. ‘That was my intention. My intention was also not to feel anything for you. Didn’t quite turn out that way, did it?’

Her stomach flipped. Her heart lunged. She gazed deep into his eyes. ‘Didn’t it?’

‘Do you really think the only reason I stopped you reading me was to save myself?’

‘You wouldn’t have agreed to help me if I hadn’t threatened to read you.’

‘You’ll never know, will you?’

She searched his eyes for sincerity until the intensity got too much and she looked back into the flames.

‘I’m not completely heartless, Caitlin.’

Her gaze snapped back to his. ‘I know,’ she said, surprising herself with her own conviction. ‘And I don’t think Xavier has won completely. I know the Kane Malloy I saw in your sister’s paintings is still in there, behind the vengeance and anger and the hatred.’ She lowered her eyes from his gaze for a moment. She pulled off the sweater to prevent the heat becoming uncomfortable. The cups of her bra were back in position but the first five buttons of her dress had been torn away. She closed the fabric for all it was worth and wrapped her arms back around her legs. ‘Were any of those reports true, Kane? Had you done any of that stuff?’

‘I’ve done a lot of bad things for a lot of bad reasons, most of the time to bad people but not all. Some things I regret, some things I don’t. But I can’t change any of it.’

‘What happened to Arana was a catalyst for a lot of it though, wasn’t it?’

He studied her for a moment. ‘The only other time I felt helpless was watching those human bastards murder my parents.’

Her chest clenched. ‘You saw it happen?’

He looked back into the fire. ‘I was under the floorboards. We were supposed to already be running – me and Arana. There was a way out underground. Our parents sent me down there with her as soon as they saw the vigilantes coming. I got down there but I couldn’t move. I watched through the cracks. Arana was only small. I kept her eyes covered, her mouth. I needed to see their faces. I needed to know who I was going to hunt down.’

‘How old were you?’

‘Old enough to know who I was and that I’d make them pay.’ He stared pensively at the flames, silent for a moment. ‘When they started to rip the place apart looking for us, I ran, leaving the place to burn behind us.’

She frowned at the darkness in his eyes, the amber glow within them, and also the sadness – the deep, unfathomable sadness muted only by the anger that still simmered.