Bloodmark (11 page)

His father’s expression went from rage to confusion to acceptance, even almost friendliness, though he seemed warily aware of me. “Good day, Ashling. I’ve heard so much about you around town.”

“My greatest apologies for keeping Grey from his work, sir.” Looking up at him through my lashes, I smiled my way into his thoughts. Simple creatures, really. I was quite sure a man like Grey’s father liked his women to be quiet. A lot like my father, I mused. I could play that role if it meant getting Grey out of trouble, although now I had to explain my presence in the woods to Grey. I hadn’t even consider that. He was never going to let this go. Yet there I stood, protecting him. Like a fool.

“I’m Grey’s father, Robert Donavan,” he said. “I’m glad Grey was able to help you out. A pretty little thing like yourself,
lost
in the woods? You could have been eaten up by a big bad wolf. I’m glad my boy was there to save you,” he said slapping Grey on the back. He said “my boy” as if he owned Grey—it was a fatherly assumption I knew all too well. It disgusted me. I had to fight my urge to tell him what I really thought of him.

“Oh yes, sir,” I agreed. What was I doing, I wondered. I should have just stayed hidden. Instead I had to put my little nose where it didn’t belong, and Grey was smiling at me. I wasn’t that good of an actress to have him being all cute over there, looking at me. “I’ll just go sit by the water and watch the animals until you’re done working, Grey. I promise to stay out of the way, sir,” I said. Grey had his father’s chin and strong nose but very different eyes. Robert’s were harsh and uninviting. He studied me suspiciously, and I smiled with all my charm, and he smiled back.

“That is out of the question. We can’t have you out here in the woods alone. There are all sorts of wild animals out here. There were wolves seen just the other day. Grey, you take the rest of the day off and get her home safe.”

“Oh no, sir, that’s not necessary. I can wait. I would hate to be a bother.” I winked at Grey. I was out of my bloody mind.

“I will hear no more about it. Grey, you take her home, and we can pick this work up tomorrow. We’ll head back to the office. Nice to meet you, but next time let’s do it in civilization, shall we?”

“Thank you so much. You’re too kind,” I replied.

Robert walked away, looking over his shoulder at me, leaving me standing next to Grey with a river of lies between us. I figured I had only seconds before he’d seek the truth, which I could never tell him, but that would always separate us.

Grey studied my face and eyes for a long time before fully and obviously taking in my whole body. It was easy to hear the appreciation he had for my body by the sound of his heartbeat. But it was only a physical attraction, not emotional. The best I could hope for was that he would be thankful for my help. Beyond that, there would never be anything between us. He could never feel for me the way I felt for him. The taste of his skin lingered still on my tongue, and I wanted desperately to touch him. I bit my lower lip, breaking the skin; the pain helped slow my raging pulse.

“Shall we?” he asked, gesturing toward the south.

I walked next to him, but neither of us spoke. I caught a glimpse of him watching me out of the corner of his eye, and I looked down at my feet, trudging along, kicking leaves with my boots. I would never be good enough for someone like him.

He surprised me by reaching over and wrapping his fingers with mine, weaving them together. The warmth of his skin radiated against mine. I looked down at the woven tapestry of our hands, fitting perfectly together. I glanced up at his face, but he was looking ahead, allowing me a tiny bit of privacy in this intimate moment.

I had never held the hand of a man before; never such an intimate touch as our palms together. I was sure he had done so much more. Mund would be furious if he knew. I was never allowed to be alone with a male who was not family, and yet Grey’s hand touched mine. It felt as if it had always been there, as if I had been waiting for it. I tightened my grip; I wanted this feeling to last forever. Even if I knew we could never be.

Just for this moment, he was mine.

“So were you out here spying on me?” he asked with a wolfish grin on his lips.

I laughed and tried to pull my hand away, but he didn’t let go. He started rubbing his thumb over the back of my hand, leaving a blazing trail of warmth behind each stroke.

“If you wanted to see me again, you could have just asked,” he said.

“I wasn’t spying on you,” I said, unable to hide my smile.

“Well, that’s disappointing.”

I breathed in his masculine scent, and my skin tingled. Every part of me wanted him. I tried to tell myself I was no good for him, but I couldn’t stop my desire. It was overwhelming, and it didn’t make any sense.

“Who are you?” he asked.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Who are you, really?”

“You know who I am.”

“Do I?”

We fell silent while his words echoed in my mind. He knew something wasn’t natural about me. And my nerves twitched with warning. I should run away from him, but there was nowhere in the world I’d rather be.

When we reached his motorcycle, the sun was nearly down and what light remained cast mysterious shadows across his face. He hesitated to let go of my hand, fidgeting with my fingertips, and I was in no hurry to let go of his hand either. So we just lingered that way, but finally he let go, letting my hand fall back to my side. Grey mounted his bike in one fluid movement as he glanced back at me over his shoulder.

“Hop on and let me take you for a ride.” His ridiculously cute smile curved up at the corners of his lips. It was impossible not to smile back as I slid right up behind his warm body and I wrapped my arms around his chest, pulling myself closer. I wanted to feel all of him. I rested my face at the nape of his neck, breathing him in.

The bike roared to life, as did his pulse. I felt overwhelmed by the need to be with him and to be touching him. I was losing control and I knew it, but I didn’t care.

I don’t know what direction we drove or how long it took to hit the road. All I knew was how it felt to have my arms wrapped around him, and it was all over too soon. He parked in front of a diner, and my arms reluctantly released him, long after it was appropriate. He slid off the bike and held his hand out to me. I slipped my hand into his as he led me into the diner. We sat in the back corner booth, and he slid his body next to mine. He seemed as eager as I felt to have our skin touching.

A current flowed through my veins every time we touched, and I never wanted it to end. It was a stolen moment, hidden from the world, from rules that weren’t ours, from the inevitability that I would never feel this again.

He brushed my wild curls out of my face as he let the back of his hand lightly brush my lips. I exhaled sharply. Mund had described mates binding and how the overpowering essence of love was instant, but this was incredible. There wasn’t a doubt that it was happening to me, at this very moment. Every inch of my body burned for him.

“So what were you really doing alone in the woods today?”

Finally it came, as I dreaded it would. What could I ever tell him that wouldn’t send him running away? The truth was forbidden. If I let him try to decide, then I wouldn’t have to lie. I could just go along with whatever he dreamed up. My nervousness gnawed at me, and I began fidgeting with the napkin-wrapped silverware, unable to meet his probing green eyes.

“I got lost.”

He laughed. “I doubt that. There is more to you. Anyone can see that.”

“No,” I whispered.

“Don’t you see how everyone reacts to you? They flock to you.”

“They are just being polite.”

“Can’t you see how every guy you meet falls over himself to be in your presence? Just to be near you?”

I shook my head, trying to get his words out. He couldn’t say these things to me. I realized then, even though I barely knew him, I loved him with every fiber of my soul, as though we were created from the same material . . . but this could never be. I was immortal, and an immortal couldn’t bind with a human. They were sacred to Old Mother. This was forbidden. But from the moment I met him, I wanted to be his. It didn’t make sense, we didn’t even know each other, but I was unable or unwilling to resist him.

“Ashling . . .” he paused. “
What
are you?”

The question took my breath away, and my body went rigid. I could tell him everything right here, spill every secret, and watch him run away, to never see him again. I could lie and convince him to stay, but then what would we have? A relationship built on lies. I didn’t know what to do.

Without a word to say, I hung my head. Defeated.

He put his finger under my chin, raising my face back up to meet his eyes. “Ashling, I don’t know if you are some sort of goddess sent here to torment me, or if you are sent by the devil himself. I know nothing about you, and yet I feel as though I have known you my whole life. I don’t know how, but . . .” he hesitated.”

“Grey?”

“I love you,” he said.

His words melted any resistance I still had; any sense of duty or reason were gone. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, kissing him. My first kiss. His lips were gentle yet urgent, and they pulsed with his promise.

Breaking our kiss, I smiled up at him. “I love you too,” I said. It was so soon to say such things. I barely even knew him or anything about him, but I knew it was true. Everyone would say it was superficial love, a childish love, that we couldn’t possibly know what love was or how it felt to be in love, but they would be wrong. Every part of him joined tightly to my soul, and there was no turning back. He kissed me again, holding me too tight as he wrapped his hand at the back of my neck, pulling my face closer to his. My heart felt as though it might explode. Passion pulsed through my veins, and I felt myself losing control, but I had to pull away before I was completely lost to him.

“Grey, if you ever change your mind, just tell me, and I won’t bother you again.”

He looked at me, disbelieving, and shook his head. “That won’t happen.”

I would love him for all of my days, even after he stopped loving me. I would always be his. And I would remember every moment, as long as he wanted me. I lay my head on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his ragged breath, and he buried his face into my wild hair, breathing me in.

“You smell spicy, like bottled passion,” he said, taking another deep breath. “It lingers in my mind long after you’ve gone, and it urges me back to you.”

“Oh?”

“My spicy little redhead,” he said, burying his nose into my hair. I felt his breath on my neck, and I loved the way it felt to be wrapped in his arms. I yearned for more.

9

Attraction

Grey dropped me off a block from my house so Baran wouldn’t
know
of our secret rendezvous, at least I hoped. I felt as if I were in a dream, but the raw feeling on my lips anchored the memories to reality. I jumped up to my windowsill, slipping into my room without a sound. Baran was in the house—I could smell him. I got into the shower to wash Grey’s scent from my skin. I didn’t want to, but I knew Baran would catch his scent.

His advanced sense of smell would make it impossible to keep our secret, but why would he forbid me to be around Grey, unless he hated him? Grey even worked for Baran. It didn’t make sense. If he could just see how Grey made me feel or the look on his face when I smiled at him, maybe then Baran would understand and he wouldn’t try so hard to keep us apart. I didn’t know why Grey loved me or why I loved him, but that was just it. It didn’t matter why. He loved me, and that was all I needed to know. I quickly threw on a sundress and slipped downstairs.

“Hi, Ashling. I didn’t hear you come in,” Baran said. “Your friend Ryan stopped by, asking if you needed a ride to the theater on Friday. He said he’d be happy to pick you up.”

“Oh. That was nice of him.”

“He’s a good kid,” he said, nodding. “You be careful around them, Ashling. They are fragile creatures—you could kill them easily,” he said. “I am going into Canada on Friday to stretch my legs and hunt. I don’t suppose you’d like to come?”

I blushed. “Maybe next time. The movie would be a good opportunity for me to blend in.”

He nodded. “I’ve searched the area. There are no signs of other werewolves. I’ll be back Sunday. You’ll be safe, but stay in town. The game warden is setting traps. You’d hate to wake up with a tag in your ear and a GPS collar.”

His sense of humor was disturbing. “No problem,” I said. Baran studied my face, waiting for me to crack and tell him the truth, but I hurried to the door. “I’m going to thank Ryan for offering me a ride.” I darted out the door.

I walked across the street to find Ryan in the garage, tuning his guitar. He smiled when I entered. “Hey, neighbor,” he said.

His smile was oddly contagious; I couldn’t stop myself from smiling back. He quickly stood next to me, lightly touching my arm. I felt awkward suddenly and took a step backward. I didn’t like him being so close, it made me feel trapped, but he closed the distance again. He seemed friendly and harmless, but I was terribly uncomfortable.

“Thanks for offering me a ride,” I said stepping backward. “But I already have a ride, so I’ll meet you there.”

“Cool. Okay,” he said. “If you change your mind, you know where I live.”

His fingertips grazed mine, and I felt panicked. “I’ll see you around. Thanks again, Ryan.” I ran across the street from his unwanted attention.

His movements were magnetic; when I moved, he’d move. Maybe Grey was right—were they drawn to me? I hadn’t met a single human who didn’t want to be near me. With the exception of Lacey, but even she seemed curious.

Going back into the house, I walked to Baran’s office door and knocked.

“Enter,” he said.

“Can I ask you something?”

“What can I help you with?”

“I keep noticing that humans are drawn to me . . . sometimes desperately trying to be near me. I don’t understand why.”