Bloody Kisses (16 page)

She needed more blood to stave off her body’s movement toward death. He could keep her indefinitely in this state but that wasn’t good for anyone. Too much blood and it would take her months to pass, if that was her choice. Just a little bit more than that, and she’d become a vampire.

He’d never changed anyone, although he assisted those who were transformed from time-to-time.

“Essence.” He stroked her hair away from her forehead. “Open your eyes, if you can.”

She lifted her lids. Exhaustion poured out of her and broke his heart. A kinder creature would leave her alone. He wasn’t that person.

“You’re a vampire.” Her voice was strained, but he smelled no fear on her. Where was the terror?

“How did you know?” Did she remember somehow from the hospital? Or the time before she fell down the stairs?

“I remember you. Or at least I think I do. I have dreams. You’re in them. Mostly it was the ballet…maybe it fueled my desire for dance. Who knows?” She winced, like talking hurt. “How do I know you from then? How does that make sense?”

He pressed his forehead to hers. She was in so much pain. It was everything he could do to not completely take this choice from her. “You seem to carry her soul in yours. I don’t know why or how. But you do. I could taste it. Forgive me for not telling you.”

“At least it makes sense now. Why you’d have been interested in me. I couldn’t figure it out.”

He was going to lose her if he didn’t do something soon. “I would have been interested in you anyway, were I free to be so. For about a week, I pretended I could. I’d love to have been the kind of man you could be with. I would have loved to have really known you.” He kissed her hand. “We could still do that.”

Her eyebrows furrowed. “I’m dying.”

“You were in an accident. You will die if I don’t intervene. I could make you a vampire.”

She blinked rapidly. “I don’t want to die. I’ve seen some of what your life was like. You had to run for your life.”

He’d love a list sometime on what she’d remembered and what she hadn’t. Like why Constantia left the house that night when he’d told her to stay home…

Just to know why would go a long way.

But that didn’t matter right then. What Essence wished for herself was paramount. “We used to have to do that a lot, but not in one hundred years. There are hunters everywhere, but we’ve got them mostly under control. You wouldn’t have to run. You’d stay here for a while. You could stay forever, if you wanted to.”

“With you?”

He touched the tip of her nose. “If that’s what you want, when you’re changed. You’ll get to decide.”

She inched forward. “Would I feed from you? Like she did? Would I become her? Because I have to tell you…from her memories, and I’m sorry if this upsets you, I don’t want to be her. She and I are very different.”

“Becoming a vampire changes you. I battle the monster inside of me all the time. You would have that to contend with but, as I’ve helped others, I could help you. You wouldn’t become her. You’d still be you. The vampire you.” His skin felt tight on his body. “As for feeding off me, you could, if you wanted. You’d have to be taught how to feed off humans so you could survive and not kill anyone if we were separated.”

She bit down on her lip. “I shouldn’t want this. Maybe it’s cowardly. Maybe I should say let me die. But, I don’t want to. I want to do more things. I want to see the world, even if it’s at night. I want to spend time with you.”

He couldn’t believe she’d spoken those words. It was exactly what he would have wished for. “I wish I could give you more time to really think on this. I can’t. But, know this, if you don’t like me, after the change, I’ll still take care of you, find a place for you, help you get started.”

She reached out to him with shaking hands. “Do I bite you?”

He grinned. She was adorable. Whatever reason she shared Constantia’s soul went way above his understanding of the universe. What a gift it was going to be to get to know Essence. “You’d hardly break the skin. You don’t have the fangs yet.”

But she would. He bit down on his own wrist. Blood dripped out. She raised her eyes to watch him. “Just one thing, Alec. If you ever call me your beloved, I’m going to kick you hard. I’m not Constantia. You have to know that.”

“I do.” He had buried Constantia. Nothing about that had changed. Essence was a chance at happiness, at love. He wasn’t going to get confused. “You’ll have to practically drown in my blood. Close your eyes. This can feel good. It’s one of the things I can do.”

She did as he asked. He brought his wrist to her mouth, and she sucked. He moaned, wishing he could stop himself from doing so. The truth was, blood was always mixed with pleasure when it came to sex. As a vampire, he couldn’t have completion if there wasn’t blood involved. And he wanted Essence. Badly.

His cock hardened, but that didn’t mean he planned to do anything about the need. She had to change. It would be a long time before she trusted him enough to take him to her bed.

The monster roared. He wanted blood, he needed death. Alec pushed him back. This was the risk. The vampire either changed the person or they killed them. She moaned, rubbing her forehead against his chest.

The pleasure had hit her. She’d be ready soon. He listened. There would be a change to her heartbeat, an alternation so small only he would notice it. She wouldn’t even feel it herself. She sucked harder. Her body wanted more now, it craved that which it did not understand.

Her heart skipped a beat. Yes, that was it. He pulled back and she gasped. Her pupils were huge. Essence lunged for him. She wanted more. He knew the feeling, but he would not give in. She needed to rest now, let the shift to vampirism happen and not drown in the blood.

Alec placed his hand on the side of her face. “It’s time to rest now.”

She shook her head wildly. “I feel better. More.”

As gently as he could manage, he kissed her forehead. “No, what you feel is drunk. Lay back. I’ll take care of you until you fall asleep. When you wake up, it will be done.”

He scooted into the bed next to her, giving her no choice but to move over and accept his embrace. She struggled in his arms, but even if she had managed to get back to his wrist, the wound had closed. At some point, she must have realized this herself as she quit trying.

With a groan, she closed her eyes, snuggling into his side. “I’m sorry. I lost my mind.”

“Perfectly natural.” And it would be worse because when she opened her eyes again, she would be battling her own monster. The piece of the puzzle he’d deliberately not mentioned to her when he sold her on this idea.

Because he was as much a monster as the one he kept inside of him. Truth was, at this point, he could hardly tell the difference.

* * *

E
ssence sat straight up
. She was thirsty and panic drove her from the bed. She couldn’t feel her heartbeat. It took her a total of ten seconds to remember what was happening.

She’d become a vampire.

The word made her shiver. She’d asked for this, she wanted it, she…

“You’re here. I knew you would be.”

She whirled around. A metallic smell assaulted her nose, and she covered her hand over it to stop the smell. A man stood across from her. It wasn’t Alec. She couldn’t imagine he’d stink so profusely. Although, maybe he would. Maybe all vampires smelled this way—maybe she did. Oh god, she wanted water and then she wanted to throw up.

The male in question wasn’t someone she initially recognized, although he seemed familiar. Like he’d come from a dream…

“Benyamin.” She cleared this throat. “That’s your name, right?”

Where was Alec? She stepped back, hitting the bed and nearly falling back on it.

He stepped toward her again, his gaze not leaving hers. “I knew you’d come back.”

She held up her hand, her ears ringing. A haze seemed to take over the room. Everything looked kind of red.

“Breathe through it. That’s just your vampire waking up. I knew you’d come back.”

She tried to see through the fog forming around her. “You’ve said that three times.”

“I kept him alive. Do you know how hard that was? The man seemed determined to end things. But I knew you’d come back, and I waited. I’ve waited and waited for you, as I promised you I would do.”

Essence had nowhere to go except onto the bed. She didn’t want to be that vulnerable to Benyamin. Given no other choice, she stayed where she was.

“I can only assume you’re talking about Constantia. I’m not her. I have some memories. It’s a little odd. But I have no idea what you’re talking about. You seem, if you’ll excuse me, like your two shakes short of a salt shaker. I don’t want whatever it that you’re selling. Get out.”

He pointed a finger at her before he advanced forward, clearly in her personal space. “You would have loved me. You’d started to. He bored you to death then, and he will again. You’re a spectacular vampire. You belong to me.”

She was a vampire. Essence wouldn’t have allowed this when she was a human, and she was not going to now. She advanced on Benyamin, not exactly sure what she would do if he attacked but, damn it, she was a vampire. She didn’t have to be afraid.

Except she was terrified.

“Leave me alone.”

He grabbed her arms. “You love me.”

She dealt with him just as she’d handled the man on the street when she’d been a human—she kicked him in the shin. Hard. Nothing happened, but at least she’d made the effort. “I don’t know you. I don’t want you to touch me. Let me go.”

“Benyamin, my lady asked you to let go of her.”

A waft of cinnamon floated through the room. She was delirious, but all she could think about was how Alec smelled like cinnamon, not metal. It was such a damned relief.

He walked slowly, seemingly unconcerned about Benyamin at all, as though this sort of thing happened all the time. But there was a vampire in his eyes. Red and angry. She knew she’d be okay.

I
t had been
years since Alec had let his vampire this close to the surface and now, in the course of three days, he’d let the monster drive the bus that was their shared body twice. Once to feed in order to save Essence and now to get rid of Benyamin.

He’d been in love with Constantia, and now he threatened Essence. Their relationship suddenly made much more sense. The constant discussions about his dead love…

Benyamin rounded on him. “If she had stayed in the house, she would have been mine.”

Essence’s face was pale. Soon, her fangs would elongate. She’d have her own monster to deal with. They should not be, in any circumstances, dealing with this right now. Fate loved to play games in his life.

But he would not lose Essence to this creature. “She was my beloved. She is dead. Whatever you think could have happened, Essence has no part to play in it. Leave her be.”

“It’s never an accident. I told you to leave her alone. I could have handled this. You never would have had to know, but, as usual, you couldn’t leave well enough alone.”

Alec had enough. Or his monster did. He didn’t care which one took care of this. Only it was time to put a great period on the end of this sentence.

He leapt at Benyamin at the same time his adversary jumped at him. They were equally matched. Sometime after the age of two hundred, all vampires became equally strong. They tore at each other. Benyamin got a good jab, hitting the side of his face while he managed to get ahold of Benyamin’s neck. They slammed on the floor. He had just fed, but clearly Benyamin hadn’t.

Thoughts slurred through his mind—had Benyamin set up the cab to hurt her so he could change Essence himself? How long had he been plotting this?

The answers would not be found because dead was the only way Benyamin was leaving this room. He’d threatened Essence. Alec had just gotten her, and Benyamin tried to take her away. He’d clearly interfered with Constantia in the past while he held himself up as some holier than thou beacon of vampirism.

Blood splattered the walls, but it wasn’t his own. He’d always wondered somewhere inside of him—where the monster resided—which one of them was stronger. Now he knew. There wasn’t really a competition.

In the end, the whole thing was over much faster than his monster liked. He ripped out his throat before he tore Benyamin’s head off his body and chucked it off to the side. Fiction made a big deal over killing vampires. A stake through the heart. Burning. In the end, if sunlight couldn’t finish the job then a good beheading did the trick.

He stared down at his dead opponent.
Such a waste
. If he’d known his former mentor would be so weak, perhaps he would have gotten rid of him years earlier.

A sound in the corner, something between a gasp and a whimper, caught his attention. He turned his head to side. Essence stared at the scene. Her eyes had gone entirely vampire—the red hue startlingly beautiful on her. Her blond hair hung in her face, and he could see the faintest tell of her fangs poking out in her mouth.

She’d fully turned, probably brought on in a strong hurry thanks to the fight and the blood. He looked down at himself. Whatever Benyamin had fed on the day before coated Alec’s clothes. Oh well. Humans would find it repulsive, but it was just another day for them.

He walked toward her and stopped when she growled at him. Oh yes, Essence was full on vampire right then.

“I’m stronger than you.” Her vampire would hear him. She would understand what he said. “I’ll always be. Don’t make me prove it.”

Essence began to shake. That was good. Her vampire had heard him, had responded to the challenge. They were animals, when it came down to it. If she didn’t believe him stronger, they’d have to fight it out. The last thing either he or his monster wanted was that. Truth was, they both wanted to fuck her.

But that would wait.

She dropped her eyes.
Good girl.
She needed to submit, and they both required blood. He held out his hand. “Come on. We’ll go feed. Then you’ll ease up on her. You’re not in charge. I am.”

Essence didn’t speak. It was possible her vampire hadn’t figured out how to talk yet. For years, he’d been able to communicate in both states. Sometimes, it was more challenging for one vampire over another.

Or maybe she had nothing to say.

For her first feed, he would make it as easy as possible for her. One of the people he kept employed for this purpose would do. They’d have to.

He was too raw, too ready to destroy, to go anywhere where he might actually have to stalk someone.

Tomorrow would be soon enough to start teaching her to control herself. Tonight he would see to it that all went well.

* * *

E
ssence watched
the man’s pulse in his throat as it beat steadily. Lloyd—that was his name—stared straight ahead as he sat in a chair in front of his television. He had no idea what happened to him. Alec had seen to that.

How had she not known how strong Alec was before? He was in charge. He made things happen.

He pointed at the pulse in Lloyd’s neck as though she hadn’t already seen it, hadn’t noticed it the second they stepped into the room.

“There.” He nodded toward him again. “That’s where you’ll bite him, that’s where you’ll take his blood. Tonight, I’ll be sure you don’t use too much.”

Blood.
She wanted it. Like the best drink she’d ever had. “I want it.”

She realized, distantly, she wasn’t being particularly articulate. In fact, she wasn’t sure the last time she’d spoken at all.

“Take it. The night is ours and, for now, so is this man. Take what you need.”

Her fangs burned. She stepped forward. Lloyd looked beautiful. She cupped the side of his face, lifting his eyes to meet hers. His heartbeat drew her like the sound of a drum…

Alec hissed. “Hands off his face. He’s not your baby. He’s your dinner.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Jealous?”

“You don’t want to see me jealous.”

So he wasn’t as immune as he liked to play? That was okay. There would be time—lifetimes of time—to challenge him. Right now she wanted blood. Lots of it.

As though she’d been doing this forever, she bit down on Lloyd. He tasted so sweet.

* * *

F
or the last half an hour
, Essence stared up at Alec, her eyes unfocused like she’d taken a drug. Dragging her off Lloyd had been harder than he’d thought it would be. He’d have to remember never to underestimate her again.

Alec snapped his fingers in front of her eyes. The last two times she hadn’t responded but this time she blinked rapidly like she was waking up.

“I feel kind of strange.”

He laughed, sitting down next to her on the coach. “Strange will be the new normal for you.”

“I feel like I drank too much.”

Her skin was soft and felt warm, a side effect from the feeding. He stroked the side of her face. He’d almost killed Lloyd when she petted him. Alec had never seen that before. A vampire petting the man she was going to eat? “You kind of did. You took more than you needed. Lloyd will be anemic for a few days. He’s on iron. He’ll be okay.” Alec would see to it. “Too much blood, we get punchy. The more we drink, the more we want, the more careless we get. The more we are likely to kill.”

Her face fell. “I don’t want to, not now. But I kind of did then.”

“You didn’t.” He wished he could make this okay. There really wasn’t a way to.

She raised her eyebrows. “Because you were there.”

“Then let’s be glad I was. Ironically, it was the vampire I killed tonight who taught me how to control myself. I’ll use his lessons to teach you.”

She rose to her knees, her blond hair falling in front of her face for a second. “Do you regret it?”

“I regret nothing. I don’t have that kind of soul left. I don’t regret killing and I don’t feel bad about changing you, although perhaps I should.” He searched deep inside of himself. Where was the guilt that should be there? Was he truly that lost?

Essence touched his shirt, right above his heart. It beat, thanks to the blood he still had in his body. “Maybe if I wasn’t a vampire I would blame you. I feel none of that. Looks like I have also lost regret.”

She climbed onto his lap, straddling him. He sucked in his breath. What was this? “There has to be blood for us to be intimate. Is that right?”

“Not necessarily always but for us, the act of sex will always be wrapped up in blood in some way. If that’s what you want. You’re sitting on my lap, so let’s assume you do.” He rambled like he hadn’t done this many times over the centuries. For some reason, it felt new. Well, he knew the reason. But maybe better not to dwell. “It could be a lead up to blood or after.”

“I have to tell you something. I’ve never had sex.” She looked down like she’d delivered a blow, when just the opposite was true. Could that actually be true? In all of the dark nights, was it possible she would only be his?

He leaned his head down onto her shoulder. “You should have had human boyfriends. Roses—oh, wait, you don’t like those. Wine. Dinner. Dancing. Instead, you had two dates with me.”

“Again. I have no regrets. Maybe I can’t. But I do want you, Alec and I think you want me.”

Without a doubt, he craved her. As he’d told her, the act was going to require some blood. “Bite me, and I’ll show you how much.”

Her fangs came down, her eyes opening as they did as though she couldn’t quite believe the sensation. Her tongue rolled out, touching the tips. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. She leaned forward stroking his shirt. With steady hands, she undid his buttons. Essence transfixed him. He’d never expected to have this.

She raised her eyes. They were clear. The vampire didn’t drive her. With that hot as hell tongue, she licked his chest. He shuddered. A second later, she bit down. His cock hardened instantly, to the point of pain.

Essence pulled back, his blood on her mouth. She licked her lips. By all that was holy, that tongue was going to be the death of him, and he’d die a happy man.

He tugged her shirt over her head. Her bra-less breasts caught his attention. He’d changed her out of her hospital clothes once, but that had been purely clinical. This was something else entirely. Essence had the most beautiful, small breasts he’d ever seen. He reached out to touch them and her head fell backward when he did.

Her nipples pebbled. Yes, she wanted him, too. With a moan he couldn’t have held back if he wanted to, he took one of her peaks into his mouth. Her hands went to her neck before travelling down her own body. Watching her from his vantage point was downright amazing.

She clawed at his shirt. The little bit that she had opened didn’t seem to be enough for her. Reluctant to give up her breast, he still wanted her to have what she desired. He tugged the shirt off, flinging it wherever it landed. They were bare chest to chest.

Essence held eye contact with him. “You know I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Could have fooled me.”

He flipped her over on the coach until he was on top of her. Pulling at each other’s clothes until they were completely naked was fun. He actually laughed, which was ridiculous but wonderful at the same time. Sex had never been a laughing matter, not even when he’d been human. But sheer bliss filled him and with that came joy—an emotion he’d not thought to ever know again.

He pressed a finger inside of her, finding her already wet for him. Some things a man didn’t forget how to do, no matter how long between times it was. Even a vampire wanted his woman to come, many times.

Her clit was swollen and he was happy to give it lots of attention. She leaned her head back, each movement of her body telling him when he stroked the right spot. Essence had a rhythm she liked even if she hadn’t known it before that moment. Or maybe she had. He’d figure out her level of self-pleasure another night when he watched her get herself off.

For now, she was his playground. One finger made her moan and two got her shaking. He could become obsessed with this. Her back arched and she came around his fingers.