Blow (44 page)

She was wearing the hotel’s white robe and she was fidgeting with the terry-cloth belt. “Are you okay?” she breathed with a sigh a relief.

My gaze flickered hot over her.

She stopped her fussing. “I know you’re upset with me. I’m sorry.”

My whole life has felt like I’ve been suppressing my emotions and right now, I just couldn’t do it any longer. I needed a release. I needed something real. I needed . . . I needed her. I stabbed my finger in the air. “Stop that shit right now. I understand why you did what you did, but you should have told me about it first.”

She looked guilty. “I know. I’m not sure what came over me, but I heard that woman’s voice over the phone line and shut down.”

We stared at each other without blinking. “That was the DEA agent. You have to know I don’t want anyone but you. How could you not know that?” My voice was raised, rougher and tougher than I wanted it to be. But there was so much bottled up inside me, I couldn’t contain my anger and frustration. It was just leaking out.

Elle took a step toward me, her own anger now blazing in her eyes. “You should have told me what you were doing all along. You lied to me!”

My strides were quick. “No. I didn’t. I just didn’t tell you. I couldn’t! There was too much at stake.”

We were toe to toe like fighters in a ring. “You didn’t tell me. I didn’t tell you. What a pair!” Her voice was sardonic, laced with bitterness.

I looked into those green eyes. “We are a pair.”

She raised her arms out and gave a sarcastic laugh. “So, as a pair, where does this leave us?”

I gripped her upper arms, bringing them down. “Together!” I shouted.

“Together?” her voice was questioning but still filled with anger.

I licked my lips. I tasted salt. “You’re pissed at me because I was at a bar with a woman I hate?”

“No, I’m not pissed at all.”

My arms slid down her sides to her hips. “Then what are you?”

Her brave façade melted away instantly. “Relieved. Thankful. Grateful.”

“Then show me. Tell me. Or let me show you. Let me tell you how I feel. I need to be able to communicate with you, and conversations aren’t always the best way for me to do that.”

In a flash, she untied her robe and I stepped back so I could watch as she shrugged it off. “Fuck me. Tell me how you feel. Show me,” she whispered.

She was naked and my entire body was on overload. Amped on adrenaline, or love, or fear—I didn’t know which. I didn’t care. I just stepped toward her. “You sure?”

She swallowed, and this time the sound that left her throat was more like a purr. “Yes. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

Quickly, very quickly, I dropped to my knees in front of her and buried my face between her legs. “Because I need to taste you,” I told her with my nose at her clit, my tongue jetting in and out of her pussy right off the bat. Her sweetness was just too much. I couldn’t get enough. My hands skimmed the back of her thighs and I brought her closer.

Her hands went to my hair, lightly at first, barely skimming it. She said something. I wasn’t certain what, but it sounded like, “That feels so good.”

“I need to feel how wet I make you.”

She moaned so loud, I felt it down to my core and with that, I began to eat her up. Devour her. All along letting her know just how sweet she tasted.

Her fingers sunk further into my hair, tugging at it. She cried out and it was rough and raw. My hands were on her ass, holding her close, and I licked every inch of her pussy. Her moans were electrifying, and I hooked one of her legs over my shoulder so I could really get inside her. The flicks of my tongue were quick at first and then sliding it down, I buried it deep inside her with alternating sucks, licks, and flicks.

She was close. I could tell. “Come for me, Elle,” I commanded.

As if on cue, she cried out. “Oh, God, Logan, I am. I’m coming. I’m coming. I’m coming for you. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”

Words spoken in the heat of the moment . . .

Music to my ears.

I couldn’t deny that this was real anymore.

It was all too real.

Both sated and breathless, I drew in a shuddering breath and then pulled her closer so I could look at her. I swam for a minute in her gaze. She was flushed, her lips and cheeks pink. Beautiful.

She wrapped her arms around me and we held each other, kissed a little more, rolled around on the bed, and ended up a tangle of limbs. She was between my legs, curled against me with her body pressed snug against my chest, and my arms were wrapped around her protectively.

I gazed down at her. Opened my mouth. Closed it. How was I supposed to have a talk with her about us when I couldn’t even bring myself to start the conversation? It’s not as if I didn’t understand the value of talking. I did. Communication, whether in or out of bed, was going to be key if we were going to survive as a couple when the fallout came from what we’d done.

And sure as shit, it was going to come.

When it did, we were going to have to stand strong, and stand together, and hopefully conquer more than just the world we lived in.

Perhaps, if we were lucky, we’d conquer each other.

Her fingers caressed the bare skin of my chest. “So what happens when we don’t have to hide anymore?”

My laughter was loud.

She tipped her head to look at me. “Why are you laughing? I’m serious.”

My fingers wove into her hair and stroked it. “I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at my lame-ass self. I’ve been lying here trying to figure out the best way to start that very conversation and the words just flow effortlessly out of your mouth. Go figure.”

She breathed in. She breathed out.

It was my cue to talk and my turn to draw in a deep breath. “We said we’d figure this thing out between us together and I think we are. But in all honesty, I’ve never had a relationship with a woman for longer than a month. With you I don’t see an end. I see something between us that could last a long time and I want to give us a chance. I hope after everything, you feel the same way.”

Wow,
I’d said it.

Her hand ran up to my face and she caressed my cheek. “Logan McPherson, if you’re asking me to be your Mrs. Robinson, I accept.”

I laughed. “No, definitely not. I’d much rather be the teacher.”

She rolled her eyes.

“But, Elle Sterling, how about you agree to be my girlfriend instead?”

She laughed. “Aren’t we a little old for that?”

I raised a suggestive brow. “
Lover
sound better?”

She wrinkled her nose. “That makes us sound too old.”

Feeling bold, I countered with, “Master?”

Her laugh was wicked. “I’ll pass on that one.”

Shifting my mouth, I kissed her fingers. “I have a few more, but I don’t think you’ll like them. That takes us back to
girlfriend
. Besides, there are men at my gramps’s nursing home who have girlfriends.”

She laughed.

Clutching her hand in mind, I asked again, “So, Elle Sterling, would you like to be my girlfriend?”

She stared at me.

“Don’t make me beg because I will.”

Elle grew serious. “I’d like that, Logan. Very much.”

I think I heard her whisper, “My protector,” and my chest puffed in pride. Then I kissed the corner of her mouth and spoke with honesty. “I know we skipped over all the preliminaries, but maybe it was better that way.”

She nodded in agreement. “First everythings are so blasé.”

“Not all first everythings,” I reminded her.

We both laughed and then allowed a comfortable silence to fill the room. We breathed together and for a few short minutes, the only sound beside the rhythm of our breaths was that of our beating hearts. For once, I could hear the outside traffic beeping and blaring but didn’t want to get up and check it out. We were together now, safe, and looking forward to what the future held.

“You hungry?” I asked.

She tipped her head to put her lips on my throat. “Very.”

I was pretty certain it wasn’t food she was referring to, but I was also pretty certain neither of us had eaten. And since I wasn’t anywhere near finished with having her, a shower and some food first would probably be a good idea. “Burgers?” I asked with a grin.

“With fries and ketchup.” She smiled up at me.

“Like there’s any other way.”

Rolling off the bed, I stepped back and looked her over, head to toe. I knew my smile was wicked and I also knew what it did to her. Shivers rocked her body and usually her lids would fall in the most seductive way. I gave her one last knowing glance before I picked up the phone and ordered room service.

She rolled over onto her back with a satisfied sigh. The sheet had slipped and she was naked under it. I thought about taking her again, but first I needed to take a shower. I leaned over to push her hair away from her face. “You’re so gorgeous, you know that?”

She propped herself up on her elbows and blew a wayward strand of hair from her face and then made a self-deprecating sound.

I laughed and pulled her mouth to mine. “You are. Now, I’m going to hop in the shower and come back and show you just how much I think so.”

This time her response was much more enthusiastic.

“I won’t be long,” I promised her and headed for the bathroom.

“Logan,” she called.

I turned.

“I love you,” she whispered.

My body seized up. I hadn’t spoken those words to a woman, ever. I might have said them to Emily when I was trying to get her in the sack, but they hadn’t been real; it wasn’t true love. It wasn’t this burn I felt in my chest when I looked at Elle. It wasn’t the fear I wore beneath my skin that something would happen to her. No, that wasn’t love. This, however, was.

Still, the words stuck in my throat. Burned, settled halfway. I was scared. Scared that if I said them, something bad would happen. And how ridiculous was that? Finally, I sucked in a breath. “I love you too, Elle,” I said, and turned back around with my pulse pounding and my heart beating wildly.

Some kind of bad feeling had rolled over me again. I shook it off and hit the hot water.

A towel around my waist and one at my shoulders, I came out of the bathroom ten minutes later, feeling much better. Elle was sitting on the bed with the robe wrapped around her and the Channel 7 news on.

“Breaking news,” the TV correspondent announced.

My head snapped to the screen. “Members of the powerful Flannigan crime family are among at least twenty-four people arrested tonight in a major drug raid. Details are sketchy, but a confirmed two million dollars in cocaine has been seized. We’ll bring you the latest as it unfolds.”

“It’s over?” Elle asked.

With a grin, I answered, “It’s over.”

Just then there was a knock on the door. “Coming,” I answered, slipping my pants on and pulling out my wallet.

Feeling on top of the world, I opened the door. A man was standing there with the cart of food and a single rose in a vase. I signed the receipt and gave him a fifty. My thoughts were drifting as I closed the door. Feeling like an idiot, I took the rose from the vase and handed it to Elle. “For you,” I said with a bow.

Her smile was wide. “Thank you, my prince.”

“King,” I corrected her with a laugh.

She raised a brow.

I shrugged. “
King
sounds much more manly.”

She pulled me in for a kiss that I could easily have gotten lost in, but I didn’t want our food to get cold and we had the rest of the night, and who knows, maybe the rest of our lives to do to each other whatever we wanted.

Nipping at her lip, I pulled away and rolled the cart closer to the bed where she sat. Feeling like the king of my own castle, I took her covered plate, presented it to her in a royal fashion, and then removed the lid. “For you, my queen.”

Giggling, she asked, “What’s this?”

My eyes darted to the plate.

She lifted a slip of paper that lay folded on it.

That feeling of fear came back full blown.

With a clunk, I dropped the lid to the ground and quickly swiped the note from her hand.

I didn’t want to alarm her, but something just didn’t feel right.

With trembling fingers, I unfolded the paper.

It read, “That E wasn’t meant for Emily.”

And just like that, my kingdom collapsed.

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