Table of Contents
Praise for Katie MacAlister
You Slay Me
“Smart, sexy, and laugh-out-loud funny!”
—Christine Feehan
“Graced with MacAlister’s signature sharp wit and fabulously fun characters, this paranormal romance is wickedly sensual and irresistibly amusing.”
—
Booklist
“A brilliant madcap adventure from MacAlister. . . . It’s refreshingly offbeat, with the quirky, laugh-till-you-hurt MacAlister style, promising this to be one of the most original paranormal series since Melanie Jackson set loose those pesky Goblins to torment us! So here’s to more adventures of Aisling and Drake.”
—ParaNormal Romance Reviews
“[A] hilariously funny and charming story from beginning to end. . . . Combining humor, suspense, and intriguing characters, Katie MacAlister has written a real winner. . . . Pick up your copy today. It’s definitely one for the keeper shelf.”
—Romance Reviews Today
The Corset Diaries
“Reality TV has never been more entertaining than here as the wickedly funny MacAlister has her heroine record her hilarious experiences with a quirky cast of characters and her passionate encounters with Max in a laughter-laced diary that is a saucy, sexy delight.”
—
Booklist
“Offbeat and wacky. . . . MacAlister has outdone herself with this reality show run amok. Tessa and Max are funny, sexy, and slightly poignant—a true match.”
—
Romantic Times BOOKclub
“An enjoyable contemporary romance. . . . The story line is fun to follow. . . . Fans will enjoy this entertaining anachronistic look at displacement as the modern crowd struggles with life just over a century ago.”
—The Best Reviews
Men in Kilts
“With its wickedly witty writing, wonderfully snappy dialogue, and uniquely amusing characters, MacAlister’s latest is perfect for any reader seeking a deliciously sexy yet also subtly sweet contemporary romance.”
—
Booklist
“A fun, fast-paced, and witty adventure. . . .
Men in Kilts
is so utterly delightful, I read this book nearly all in one sitting.”
—Roundtable Reviews
“Katie MacAlister sparkles, intrigues, and is one of the freshest voices to hit romance. . . . So buckle up, for Katie gives you romance, love, and the whole damn thing—sheep included.”
—The Best Reviews
“
Men in Kilts
is filled with warm, intriguing characters and situations, and the atmosphere is fiery as Katie and her silent Ian irresistibly draw you into their story.”
—
Rendezvous
“Wonderfully witty, funny, and romantic,
Men in Kilts
had me laughing out loud from the first page . . . a definite winner.”
—Romance Reviews Today
“This book hooked me from the first paragraph and kept me smiling—and sometimes laughing out loud—to the last page. . . . I thoroughly enjoyed
Men in Kilts
and recommend it highly.”
—
Affaire de Coeur
A Girl’s Guide to Vampires
“With its superb characterization and writing that manages to be both sexy and humorous, this contemporary paranormal love story is an absolute delight.”
—
Booklist
(starred review)
“Fantastic! It’s sensual, it’s hilarious, and it’s a winner! Ms. MacAlister is my favorite new author.”
—Reader to Reader Reviews
Improper English
“Funny, quirky, and enjoyable. Don’t miss this one!”
—
USA Today
bestselling author Millie Criswell
“Charming and irresistible. A tale to make you smile and pursue your own dreams.”
—
USA Today
bestselling author Patricia Potter
Noble Intentions
“Sexy, sassy fun!”
—Karen Hawkins
“If there is such a thing as a Screwball Regency, Katie MacAlister has penned it in this tale of Noble, Gillian, and their oh-so-bumpy path to love. Readers are in for a wonderful ride!”
—
The Romance Reader
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First published by Signet Eclipse, an imprint of New American Library, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
First Printing, November
Copyright © Marthe Arends, 2005
All rights reserved
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There are always many people who I feel deserve a public thank-you whenever I finish a book, but seldom am I as grateful as I am to four people who turned me into a die-hard pirate fan. For that reason, I offer my appreciation and sincerest gratitude to Tobias Barlind (the coldest shark around), Vance Briceland (for telling me about YPP), Daniel James (who can resist a man with a cleaver?), and Brian Murphy (the best captain a girl could have). Yarr, maties!
And a quick explanation for those of you who may wonder about the source for the quotations at the beginning of each chapter: They are all from the Gilbert and Sullivan opera
The Pirates of Penzance
. Although
Penzance
itself wasn’t the source of inspiration for this book (see the note at the end of the book for those details), I found so many quotations that seemed to fit perfectly with the action of the story that I couldn’t resist using them.
Chapter 1
A pirate.
A very contemptible line of life,
with a premium at a high rate.
—Gilbert and Sullivan,
The Pirates of Penzance
, Act I
“You know what your problem is?”
I waited for the rumble from a distant clap of thunder to fade away into nothing before answering. “Yes. We can’t get the legislature to understand why their repeal of the roadless act is going to devastate this country’s wild forests to the point where they will never recover.”
Tara sighed. “No, that’s not it.”
“Ah, then it must be the blatant disregard of the Clean Water Act by the cement industry, and the subsequent poisoning of several hundred streams and the countless generations of salmon who spawn there.”
Another sigh followed, drawn out and martyred as only a sixteen-year-old could make it. “No, not that either.”
I frowned at the computer screen, giving Tara only part of my attention as I typed up a press release that would be sent out the following day. It sounded like a storm was coming, and I wanted to finish before I had to turn off the electronic equipment. “No? Hmm. Well, you must be talking about the fact that our state legislature took a step into the Dark Ages when it caved to the pesticide industry’s pressure by removing hazardous pesticides from the program to eliminate toxic chemicals from the environment.”
“No! I’m not talking about that! And you’re not even listening to me.”
Another rumble of thunder stopped conversation for the count of five. “You wouldn’t by any chance be referring to the fact that I have a daughter who doesn’t understand the concept of not disturbing her mother while she’s working?”
“N-O spells no. Besides, you’re
always
working.”
“Pays the bills, pays the mortgage, and pays for you to hang out at the mall rather than working at a local McDonald’s. Hand me that paper, honey. No, the ‘Indigenous Streams of the Pacific Northwest’ one. Are the stereo and TV off? It sounds like that storm is heading right for us.”
“Yes, and you didn’t answer my question,” the spawn of my loins answered after she passed me a bound collection of environmental position papers, hands on her hips, thick straight brown brow, so much like my own, furrowed as she glared at me.
“I did. Four times, in fact.”
“Mom!”
“Hmm?” I double-checked a couple of statistics in the fact sheet, adding them to the press release in hopes they would be quoted verbatim.
“I asked you a question.”
“And I answered it.” The silence that followed, pregnant and pointed, chafed at me enough to disrupt my train of thought. I took my hands off the keyboard and swiveled in my chair to face Tara. “All right. You have my undivided attention. For . . . er . . .” I glanced at the clock. “Forty-five seconds.”