Blow (TKO #3) (8 page)

Chapter 15

Austin

I’m a little down this morning because I haven’t heard from Tamilyn since last night. I know she had dinner with her family and I hoped she’d invite me but she didn’t. I ended up hanging out with Lance and his very pregnant girlfriend Hilary. She made tacos and we all sat around laughing and talking. I’m glad I’ve made friends so I don’t have to bother Ruston all the time. I know he won’t mind, but it’s important to me to be able to start a fresh life without getting into trouble and a life with my own friends.

I’m proud of myself, which reminds me that I need to call my mom. I hope she’s proud. I put her through hell back home, fighting like I was some sort of thug raised on the street when I was raised much better than that. My family is great. They gave me everything I could ever want or need and then I repaid them by being a little shit. They received more phone calls from the cops than they ever should have because I was hanging around the wrong people. I’m in the process of completing the changes I started back home. I’m doing things better for me, and I love it.

I shoot Tamilyn a text before I leave the driveway to head to Lou’s. The whole way there, I can’t help but wonder if she’s replied yet. The first thing I do as I park my car is check my phone, and still nothing. Maybe she’s doing a photo shoot, but I swear she said it was this afternoon. Oh well, I’ll just check my phone in between practicing. I notice Ruston’s truck parked a few spots down. I’ll just ask him if everything is okay with her. Seeing as how they are best friends, maybe he’s heard from her.

I walk inside the gym and head straight for an empty locker to get rid of my phone and keys. Ruston’s voice fills my ears and I turn to listen for where he is. The voice is coming from Howard’s office. I lean in closely to eavesdrop, hoping no one notices.

“I really appreciate everything you did to let me join, but I just don’t think this is where I need to be right now. I work at my dad’s office and I just need to be there more. I hope you understand,” Ruston explains.

I almost barge into the office to ask him what the hell is going on but I continue to stand there listening.

“You can still come in and train anytime you want, Ruston. I appreciate you coming to me like this. I like you, and I hate to lose you, but I understand.” Howard’s voice fills the space.

“Thank you, I just think I need to step back right now. I joined without fully thinking it through and I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

Howard speaks again and the room goes silent. Footsteps emerge and I move quickly to walk toward the punching bags so no one can figure out what I was just doing. I glance toward Ruston as he walks out of the office. I’m waiting for him to turn and look at me but he walks straight out the front door without a single glance back. What the fuck is going on?

“You were eavesdropping, weren’t you?” Lance says from nowhere.

I jump out of my skin, turning to face him. “Maybe. I didn’t know he was quitting for real.”

“This isn’t for everyone, man. Only us sick twisted fuckers can really hang.” He grins.

I laugh as I bring myself into stance to wail away on the punching bag in front of me. I realize I don’t have my gloves so I excuse myself to run out to my car. Maybe Ruston will still be in the parking lot and I can get him to talk to me. I grab my keys and run toward the front door. I step into the blinding sun and look to where his truck was parked just moments earlier but he’s gone. Fuck. I sigh as I unlock my car. My gloves are sitting right there on the passenger seat. I was so worried about Tamilyn that I never grabbed them. I need to get my head on straight.

I toss my keys back inside the locker. Lance is still standing beside the punching bag. “I figure I’ll watch you for a little and then you can spot me on the weight bench.” He slumps against the wall.

“Sounds good, man. Thanks for having me over last night.” I bring myself back into stance and begin throwing punches at the black bag in front of me. Little beads of sweat form along my forehead as I continue to pound away. I need this form of therapy today and it’s working. When I finally step away from the bag, I feel like a huge weight just lifted off me.

Lance is still slumped against the wall, grinning at me. I raise my eyebrow waiting for him to speak. I’ve been around him long enough to know he has no filter.

“You done? I thought you were going to pummel that shit until it was dead. Little punching bag, did he hurt you?” He laughs as he walks over to touch the bag.

Rolling my eyes, I head for the weight benches so Lance can lift. He can spot me after. My adrenaline is pumping and I’m ready to go.

Lance saunters over and gets the weights situated where he wants them. I stand behind him, helping to lower the bar when Howard walks over to me. “Hey, Austin, can I talk to you for a second?”

“Yes, sir.” I place the bar back and give him my full attention.

“I was sorry to see Ruston go. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. Are you ready to step inside the ring?”

My eyes light up. I’ve been waiting for this moment, hoping it was going to pop up, and here it is. “Hell yeah! I mean, I am. Do you think I could be ready?”

“It’s okay.” Howard laughs. “That’s good you’re excited. You’re in the same class Garrett is in, and he’s taking a few more days to stay home with Raegan and the baby so I figured you could take his place and get a feel for why you’re here. I know you’ve had some prior training and you’ve been doing well here so far.”

“I’m ready. When is the fight?”

“At the end of the week. Let’s get you sparring. Lance can do that with you. I want you focusing on your footwork and keeping your hands where you need to. Practice your throws, kicks, everything. You need to make sure you’re fully prepared. I don’t want you to get in there and be surprised because this is nothing like the streets. If you try anything like that in the ring, you’ll be disqualified. Just keep in mind the training you learned back home, and what you’ve learned here, and you’ll be fine.”

“I won’t do anything crazy. You ready, Lance?” I know he wanted to lift weights but I’m so pumped to start sparring.

“I’m always ready.” He grins as he sits up.

I’m still wearing my shirt so I take it off and set it inside the locker where my phone and keys are. I grab my phone quickly to see if Tamilyn has texted me, but still nothing. I shoot her another text asking if she’s okay before I shut the locker door.

Howard stands off to the side of the mats and watches as Lance and I get into stance. My hands are up and I’m watching Lance intently, wondering if he’s going to make the first move, but all we do is shuffle around and I take that as my cue to throw my first hook. He blocks it immediately and Howard calls out, “Be prepared. You have to be a little quicker than that. Your opponent may have been able to sneak a hit on you. Don’t be caught off guard.”

“Got it.”

This time, Lance throws his hit and my hands jolt upward to block it. I sneak a hit in and Lance stumbles back, laughing a little. “Good hit, man, do it like that and you’ll be fine.” I glance toward Howard and he nods. I’ve got this. I can do it.

I’m focused, imagining the bright lights of the ring shining down on me. It’s me, my opponent, and a whole crowd of people beginning to chant my name.
Austin, Austin, Austin!
It’s like a natural high and I know I can’t let them down. They want to see a fight, so I’ll give them one.

We spar continuously until we’re both breathing heavily. We got a few good hits in on each other and I even managed to drag him to the ground. Howard stood beside us coaching me on the correct technique. I had to remember this was no longer street fighting, that dirty fighting is not allowed. Howard made it clear that I would be disqualified if I forgot the rules. I’ve come too far to go back to my old ways.

***

I pull up to the apartment hoping Ruston will be home. I haven’t heard anything from him at all today. Last I saw, he was quitting Lou’s. It’s almost like he’s avoiding me and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m overstaying my welcome. That’s the last thing I want to do. I head straight for the shower. I’m sweaty and dying to smell normal again. I let the warm water wash over my body before lathering up the soap. The aroma permeates the steam, and I breathe it in. Finally, something that doesn’t smell like beefed-up testosterone.

I wrap a towel around my waist as I step out of the shower. I sigh as I walk toward my room. I listen to see if maybe Ruston has come home but it’s so quiet I assume I’m alone.

Drying off, I put on a pair of boxers and some basketball shorts. I lie across my bed and reach for my phone. Still no word from Tamilyn either so I decide to text her yet again.

Hey, are you okay? I haven’t heard from you today.

I begin scrolling through my phone waiting patiently for a reply that may never come. I’m shocked when she almost immediately texts back.

I’m soooo sorry! I slept in this morning because I didn’t sleep well last night and I had a photo shoot this afternoon. I didn’t mean to make you worry.

I was thinking the worst, and here she was just sleeping and doing her job. I’m not sure why I’m feeling so damn wrapped up in her but I am. There’s some sort of magnet that’s pulling me closer and I’m not fighting it. For once, I’m allowing myself to feel something toward a woman. By now, the old Austin would have fucked her and been done, moving on to the next piece of ass he could find. But this Austin—this one wants to be different.

No, it’s all right. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. Have you talked to Ruston?

I’m curious as to whether or not she knows anything but her quick response leaves me with no answers.

No, I haven’t.

Me either. Are you busy tonight? I’d like to see you.

Not at all, want to come over? I can show you those pictures from the fight.

I’ll be there in a few.

The grin that spreads across my face can’t be contained. I grab a shirt out of my dresser and throw it over my head. I’m ready to get over to her house and see her. I grab my keys and slip into a pair of flip-flops. This is the best part of my day.

Chapter 16

Ruston

I did it. I did exactly what I told myself I wouldn’t do and it hurts like a motherfucker. I let go of two things today. One thing I didn’t really care to be a part of, but the other has been a piece of me since birth and now it’s gone. Texting Tamilyn was a shitty move on my part but I had to do it. There was no way I could have told her in person. I need to distance myself, because this isn’t the person I am. I’m ashamed to think about the person I almost allowed myself to become. I went straight to my dad’s office after I left Lou’s. The day was filled with meetings about upcoming projects and it was plenty to keep me busy and keep my mind off things. I’m on my way home now and that’s when everything is hitting me full force. What the hell have I done?

I know Austin saw me in the office this morning but I didn’t want to face him just yet. Maybe he’s at the apartment and we can just talk about it. I won’t even mention Tamilyn or my jealousy. If they want to be with one another, I won’t stop them. I pull into the parking lot at the apartment and I notice his car isn’t there. I unlock the door and flip the light switch on. As I enjoy the peace and quiet, I notice the leftover steam hovering inside the bathroom and I know he’s been here. He must have left not long ago. Maybe he just stepped out for a moment.

Reaching for my phone, I text him.

Hey man, where are you?

I set my phone down and walk into the bathroom to relieve myself. I’ve needed to pee the entire way home. Why I didn’t before I left the office, I’ll never know. I walk back to my bed to find he’s replied. My gut just took a huge blow.

I came to Tamilyn’s for a little bit. What’s up?

Oh, nothing. I just got home. Wanted to see if you wanted to go grab a drink or something at Joe’s.

I lie easily. I don’t want to go have a drink with him but I needed an excuse as to why I was inquiring about his whereabouts.

We’ll have to reschedule that for sure. Next time, I’m in.

Sounds like a plan.

I toss my phone down and change into a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. I didn’t necessarily want to have a drink with Austin, but I sure as fuck don’t mind having one by myself. I’m going to Joe’s.

***

I pull into the parking lot and let out a sigh of relief. I need a drink bad. I walk straight in and make a beeline for the bartender. I order a drink and lean against the bar as I take a big sip. Oh whiskey, do your job and take the pain away.

“Ruston, right?” I turn to see Garrett next to me.

“Hey, man, what’s up?”

“I’m just waiting on Lance to get here. Raegan kicked me out of the house for the night and told me to go have a little fun. I’ve been by her side since Lucas was born so it’s a little strange to be here right now.”

“I bet it is.” I chuckle as I take another sip of my drink. “So, Raegan and Lucas are doing good?”

“Oh, they’re great. I love them to death.” He smiles as he turns to order a beer. “How are things at Lou’s? I took a little time away to be with them, but I should be back very soon.”

I almost choke on the next sip of my drink. I figured that question would pop up but I was hoping it wouldn’t. “I, uh…I quit today. I don’t have a lot of time to do it like I thought I would. I work for my dad and I’m needed more at the office.”

He nods in understanding. “I gotcha. That sucks, man. I love Lou’s. I couldn’t imagine my life without it.”

“I hear you. I like it a lot. Well, the little bit I’ve seen, but right now just isn’t the time.”

“No judgment here. Are you alone tonight?”

“Yeah, long story. I won’t bore you. I just needed to clear my head. Things are so fucked up.”

He raises his eyebrow but he doesn’t ask questions. “Well, just because you quit the gym doesn’t mean we can’t talk if you need a friend. I know how crazy shit can become, trust me. Raegan and I had our issues in the beginning but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I got her, and that’s all that matters.”

“You think this is about a girl?” I ask, downing the rest of my drink.

He raises his eyebrow again and I turn to order a new drink. He’s a fucking mind reader or something. It’s almost like I’m sitting in confession, but at the bar.

“It’s always about a girl. That’s why we end up at the bar drowning our sorrows.”

“But you said everything is good with you,” I counter.

“It is, but once upon a time I came here to make all my stupid mistakes. Lance too.” Garrett looks up and waves his hand in the air. “Speaking of the devil, here he is.”

“What’s up, man? Hey, Ruston.” He orders his beer. I nod and sip on my drink.

“About time you got here. I was beginning to think you weren’t coming.” Garrett laughs.

“You know pregnant women and their hormones. Hilary latched onto my dick and wouldn’t let go and I’m only ten minutes late, so fuck you. I still get to go to Disney, right?”

I laugh at the two of them. I wouldn’t have minded getting to know them at the gym.

“Where’s Austin?” Lance asks, breaking me out of my trance. For a moment, I’m able to pretend I didn’t understand him because of the music blaring in the bar but he nudges my arm and asks again so I can’t play stupid on this one.

“Oh, um, he’s with Tamilyn.” I turn my head and take a long burning sip of my drink. If I keep up like this, I may not be able to drive myself home.

“Smart man. Are they coming up here?” Lance asks.

“Not really,” I mumble under my breath. Luckily no one heard me. Then I’d really have to explain myself and I don’t want to do that this evening. “They’re not coming.”

Garrett notices what Lance didn’t, and I catch his eye. The look he gives me as he sets his beer down on the bar is almost sympathetic. He knows, and I’m praying Lance doesn’t decide to walk off anytime soon.

The two of them keep talking but they include me in every conversation. It’s nice to talk to two guys without being worried one is all over your best friend. Now I have to remind myself I don’t have a best friend anymore. The urge to pee hits me and I down the rest of my drink before setting the empty glass on the bar. I tell them I’ll be right back and disappear to the restroom.

I unzip my jeans as I stand in front of the urinal. Damn, instant relief just washes over me. I adjust myself as I zip my jeans back up, then wash my hands. I stare into the mirror and just look at myself. I’m having a good time, right? I’m here to mask the pain I’m feeling but I’m having a good time. I’m able to convince myself. I walk back out of the restroom and a girl in a short skirt walks by me. I don’t even recognize her for a moment, not until she speaks.

“Hey, Ruston, what are you doing here?” She slurs a little.

My eyes finally meet hers and I groan. “Hey, Jess, same thing you’re doing here. Having a drink.”

“Hmm, I bet you are. Want to hang out?” She leans in, purring against my ear. I almost have to laugh at the fact that she’s flirting relentlessly with me, and my dick doesn’t even twitch. How she and Tamilyn can even stand in the same vicinity sometimes blows my mind. Although I haven’t heard Tamilyn say anything about her.

“No, I’m here with a few friends. I’ll catch you later.” I hurry and walk off.

“Your loss!” she yells back. What she doesn’t understand is that it’s
not
my loss. All we’ve ever shared is a kiss and there will never be anything else. Ever.