Blue Clouds (44 page)

Eventually, probably, when Pippa decided it was time to move on, after she tired of his antisocial behavior, got mad enough about his unreasonable attitudes, whatever it took to tick her off. He'd be much better off if he just found Pippa and put her firmly in her place.

Seth considered starting with the cafeteria since she probably hadn't eaten in twenty-four hours, But when he hit the elevator and saw the sign for the pediatric ward, he acted on impulse. Playing with the children would be just like Pippa.

The elevator door opened on a cheerful lobby decorated with teddy bear wallpaper and strewn with colorful plastic toys and children's books. The only cloud on the sunshine-filled space appeared to be a bulky young man facing a corner, which Seth found slightly disconcerting. Still, he'd seen odder things in hospitals.

He'd taken a limping step out of the elevator, cursing the pain in his ankle, when the hulking young man slammed his fist against the wall with such force that Seth jumped.

Pippa's voice followed, in brave tones barely disguising panic. “Billy, be reasonable. I'm not going home with you.”

“It's that damned fancy man, isn't it? He's been laying you, hasn't he? But I heard what happened to him on TV. I knew you'd be here, holding his hand, but he won't be going anywhere soon. Now that I've found, you, you're coming with me.”

In two strides, Seth crossed the lobby, grabbed the hulk's upraised arm, jerked it backward and up, and probably dislocated his shoulder if his victim's scream of agony was any indication. At this rate, he'd personally provide the emergency room with its quota of patients for the day.

Pippa managed to look both relieved and angry at the same time as Seth twisted Billy's arm behind him. She also looked more beautiful than she had any right to be.

“My turn,” she said coldly, with a challenging glare.

Before Seth could argue the stupidity of that declaration, she balled up her small fist, threw all her weight behind it as he'd taught her, and punched Billy in the stomach.

Seth could have told her she'd only break her knuckles on such a foolish stunt, but she acted too quickly for him to do anything but catch Billy as he staggered backward in surprise. The pull on his dislocated shoulder had Billy howling, and Pippa nursed her bruised fist with a look of satisfaction.

“Why don't you let him loose so I can hit him again?” she demanded.

“I ought to,” Seth agreed. “But you'll just blame me when you break your hand on the worthless slug. There should still be a few cops around. Why don't you call them? I don't think your little friend here is going anywhere soon.”

Pippa's sour look at his recommendation cheered Seth immeasurably. She wasn't frightened. She was fighting mad. He intended to keep her fearless. To do that, he had to get her out of the way while he had a little talk with Brother Billy.

“My ribs ache like hell, Pippa,” Seth warned. “I'd appreciate a little speed.”

Concern instantly wiped out anger. She dashed for the hall and the nurse's station, out of sight around the corner. Damn, but he was actually learning to push her buttons as well as she pushed his. Seth jerked his captive's arm a little higher.

Billy the Cop yelped and struggled briefly, but Seth had the man's measure. He'd dealt with bullies before. They were all cowards who whimpered as soon as the tables were turned. This brute was twice Pippa's breadth, and though much of the muscle was going soft, he could still kill a woman without much effort.

Seth restrained his anger at the thought. Another thing he'd learned over the years—the winner of any battle was the one who kept his cool.

“Pippa has friends,” Seth informed his prisoner coldly. “You're not getting off this time. You've made it painfully obvious that you're incapable of learning a lesson. My lawyers will see to it that you're locked up for a good long time where you can get some of that counseling you need to curb your temper.”

Billy muttered a filthy expletive and tried to jerk away. Seth jerked back. “
I
have friends, too,” Seth warned. “I can see you get that counseling in one of two ways: the easy way or the hard way. You won't think you're quite so big and strong after a few of my friends in the prison system are finished with you. You're not in Kansas, anymore, Toto.”

Billy stepped backward, aiming for Seth's soft shoes. Seth kneed him from behind, jerking down on his arm.

“In another minute, you'll really make me angry. I wouldn't do that, if I were you. I hear Pippa coming back.” And he could. Seth recognized the rhythm of her walk, could see the bounce of her hair in his mind's eye. “You're going to apologize to the lady, do you hear me? She loved you, and you returned her affection by destroying everything. I know a choke hold that could snap your neck. Do you have your speech prepared?”

Seth wrapped his other arm around his victim's neck and pressed Billy's head backward, until Billy nodded curtly. Seth relaxed his hold only enough to let Billy speak as Pippa rounded the corner and entered the lobby. “I'm sorry, Pippa,” Billy sputtered. Pippa halted and stared at them with suspicion. Seth jerked Billy's arm again.

“I didn't mean to hurt you, Pippa. You know I didn't. I just lose my temper sometimes.”

Seth almost believed the man's plea. He could almost feel sorry for a man driven by fury and frustration at a woman's wiles. Almost.

Pippa's eyes narrowed to slits. “I've heard that tale before, Billy. Save it for the judge. Seth, the cops are on their way upstairs. I think I'll wait on the ward.”

She swung on her heel and walked out.

“Sorry, pal, guess you weren't very convincing.” Cocking Billy's head back farther with his arm, Seth jerked on the dislocated shoulder until Billy screamed and folded in on himself. Seth staggered beneath the sudden deadweight and cursed his injured foot.

It might take Pippa a hundred years to regain the trust this brute had stolen from her. Seth would have suffered the agonies of hell to make the bastard pay. He righted himself without further complaint.

After the police arrived, Seth shoved his prisoner in their direction and hurried after Pippa.

***

Pippa nestled a curly-haired toddler in the crook of her arm as she turned the pages of a book with her other hand. A ring of rapt children sat around her, listening to the story and eagerly absorbing the pictures she held up for them to see. She thought she could easily spend her life here, if she didn't have to work for a living. Pediatric nurses deserved a special place in heaven, but they didn't have time for the pleasures of this job, like reading storybooks. They spent their time reading charts of progressive lymphomas and escalating temperatures. She couldn't handle it.

She'd have to go back into administration. Then she could spend her evenings up here with the children. Maybe that would fill some of the empty hours and the gaping hole Chad would leave in her heart. She wouldn't think about the hole Seth would leave. She couldn't. Now that everything was back to the way it should be, she had to leave. She wouldn't be another needy burden clinging to his broad shoulders.

She'd seen Seth's face as he grabbed Billy. He'd defended her just as he would have defended Chad. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Seth was a champion of the underdog. She suspected his taciturnity was his only means of protection against a world spilling over with the beaten and downtrodden. She was just one more victim for him to save and protect.

Turning a page, she knew the moment Seth breezed into the room behind her. The energy of the air changed, vibrating with his presence. The children lost their concentration and watched him with fascination. One bald-headed toddler crawled out of her field of vision, and Pippa could almost see Seth bending over to pick her up. Seth didn't relate well to adults, but she knew he had a soft spot for children.

Sure enough, he carried the little girl back to where Pippa could see them. He didn't smile but waited patiently for her to finish the story, his gray eyes curiously light against his dark complexion. He looked good in blue, younger than in his usual Goth black. The little girl rested contentedly in his arms until a nurse took her away.

Pippa finished the story and closed the book as the nurses ushered their charges back to their beds for visiting hours. Seth held out his hand and pulled her to her feet. Neither of them spoke.

He held her hand as he led her out to the waiting police officer. Billy was nowhere in sight. Pippa figured they'd taken him down to emergency after what Seth had done to him. Her own blow hadn't accomplished much beyond bruising her knuckles, but she'd had to do it. Violence begot violence, perhaps. She shouldn't have behaved as unreasonably as Billy, but she'd stored up a powerful lot of rage that needed venting. She hit him for Clio Kitty's sake, if nothing else.

She answered the officer's questions without thinking. Conscious of Seth's large hand wrapped reassuringly around hers, she recited her lessons by rote. Need rose up in her much as sap rose in trees. She'd almost lost him forever. She would have to give him up soon. But for just this moment, while she was feeling weak and stunned, she'd cling to his strength and pretend he needed her, too.

When the officer was finished, Seth led her toward the elevator. She was aware he'd dismissed Dirk. She sensed his pain as he limped and occasionally adjusted his stance to ease his aching ribs. She thought she should chastise him for being out of bed, but she couldn't. She had no fight left in her. She let Seth take control.

“Have you ever been to the ocean?” he asked idly as he took Pippa's keys from her bag and aimed unerringly for the parked car.

The question startled her from her lethargy. Throwing him a curious glance, she replied without hesitation. “Not yet.”

He helped her into the passenger seat, then skirted the car to climb in the driver's side. His long frame overflowed the minuscule sports seat, but he adjusted and turned on the ignition without complaint.

“I know a place where we won't be disturbed.”

She understood what he didn't say, and didn't object.

They'd make love one more time before she left.

Pippa stood on the edge of the road, letting the wind streak through her hair as she followed the flight of a pelican. If she turned her back on the car, she could see nothing but the wild ness of nature, the waves crashing against giant boulders and towering cliffs, the seals sunning themselves on a spit of rocky land, the seabirds squawking and diving for fish. She thought the wind chilly for June, but she welcomed it, thriving on the energy battering against her, soaking up the sunshine pouring down like molten honey, drawing the elements inside her to make her strong again. She couldn't remember when she'd slept or eaten last, but it didn't matter. Nature provided what she needed.

And Seth. His arm circled her waist as she stood there, and she drew warmth and solace from his presence. The first time they'd made love, she'd considered him an element of nature. He was more than that now. He provided the backbone she'd always craved. He supplied the emotional sustenance she thrived on. He offered her shelter and security. And she couldn't accept any of it.

She had to learn to stand on her own, without the need of other people for crutches. She had to provide her own shelter and security. All her life, she'd lived for other people, and never for herself. She could see it happening again: staying with Seth because it was easiest, because Chad needed her, because she pretended Seth needed her. She'd never know what it was to stand on her own two feet, and when Seth tired of her, when Chad grew out of his need for companionship, when circumstances changed, she'd be out in the cold world all over again, lost and helpless as before. She had to make the break now, while she still retained some modicum of self.

She loved easily. Her love for Seth would never die, but it would suffer the torments of hell and slowly decay without the emotional nourishment Seth couldn't provide. Better that she keep it as a bright, shining sun within her, always there when she took it out and looked at it, than to let it wither and fade in Seth's careless hands. He couldn't help it, she realized. She couldn't blame him. He'd never known love, didn't know how to give or receive it, except with his son. He thought money and physical strength were all that was needed to survive in this world. She couldn't even begin to persuade him otherwise.

But she wasn't strong enough to make the break right this minute, not in this beautiful place, with Seth confidently guiding her toward the protected beach below. She could almost sense his pain as he hit his injured ankle at the wrong angle, knew his ribs ached, but he was doing this for her, offering her this gift in recompense for all that had happened, and she couldn't reject him.

It wouldn't last. Smiling slightly at that realization, Pippa let the wind blow away her sadness and accepted the moment as it was: beautiful and wild and carefree, no strings attached.

“No wonder the movie business developed out here,” she exclaimed in delight as they reached a cove protected on all sides by steep boulders, with a seal barking not yards away. “How could the imagination not soar with all this splendor at hand?”