Bluegrass Courtship (14 page)

“How about nothing?” she fired back, pacing also. “There's nothing to do. You'll make your shiny, happy miracles and go on. I'll go on with my ordinary life.”

He stopped pacing and looked at her. “It's not ordinary.
You're
not ordinary.”

She turned to him. “Do you really think I believe that? Don't you think I've seen more than enough of the dazzle you people claim to have?” She put one hand to her chest. “Look at me, look around you. This isn't where someone like you sticks around. I'm not blond and sleek and full of empowering faith. I'm just trying to get by. Just hanging on. Because that's what ordinary life is like, Drew. Just getting by.”

Drew jabbed a finger at her. “Will you stop lumping me in with some stereotype you've managed to create for my world? For my faith? I care about you. I thought you should know. Maybe it was a dumb idea, but I thought it would let you see that I think of this place—of you—as anything but ordinary.” He let his hand drop. “Why can't you see that?”

“Because no matter what you say to me, you're still leaving.” Her voice caught on that last word, and she hated the weakness she was showing. “You're leaving,” she repeated, “so it doesn't matter what you say because you don't have to stick around and live up to it. So don't placate me by trying to, okay? Just make your miracles and leave me alone. Don't come back. Even if that stupid tank breaks and the roof starts leaking next week, don't ever come back.”

 

Janet turned and left the garden, pushing through the school doors and rushing blindly back through the church. She battled unwanted tears, angry that she could be hurt by the denial of something she'd never wanted to want in the first place. She had a thick skin most of the time, but he'd managed to get under it. He told her he cared about her, and she wanted to believe him. After all Tony had done to her, it infuriated her that she could even think of Drew—or his mission—in that way. She didn't want to open up that part of her heart or let faith seep its way back into her soul ever again. The chance for pain was far too great, and she'd barely survived the last wounds.

And so she ran from him, from the church he was rebuilding, from what his eyes made her want again. She rushed through the building and lawn until she found herself gasping at the edge of the parking lot. Janet stared down the darkened street toward Ballad Road. She couldn't go home, he might try to find her there, and she didn't want to talk to him again. Right now the urge to climb in her Jeep and leave the county for the next week until this whole thing went away was so powerful, the only thing stopping her was that she didn't have her car keys. Stumped, she checked her watch. Three-thirty.

Dinah would be up. She started baking at four. She would not cry. Not over him. Not over this. Taking a deep breath, Janet wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and set off toward the bakery.

 

“What's wrong?” Dinah came to the door in yellow striped pajamas. Her alarmed expression looked lost on a face framed with frizzy red pigtails. “What on earth could put you here at this hour?”

“Not what,
who.
Please tell me you've got some coffee on.”

“And you want coffee, too? Get on back to the kitchen, girl. I can't leave the bread but you've obviously got a long story to tell me.” She noticed Janet's assessment of her clothing. “I wasn't expecting company.”

“I wasn't expecting to be blindsided at three in the morning, so that makes two of us.”

Dinah stopped in her tracks. “You were in a car accident?”

“No, it's not like that.” Janet walked behind Dinah through the public part of the bakery, back through a beaded curtain to the warm, cinnamon-scented kitchen. She plunked herself down on one of the stainless steel stools and planted her elbows on the table.

“Drew Downing. Well, actually more than Drew Downing, but mostly him.”

“Gotten to you, has he?” Dinah stared at her as she moved a tray of dough in loaf pans. She picked up a brush and started coating the top of the dough with what looked like melted butter. Janet rolled her eyes. “No. Well, maybe. But nothing's going to come of it. It's all so complicated. It's more than just him, it's the whole faith-church-
Missionnovation
thing. It's the roof and the cistern…”

“And God.”

Janet spoke right over that remark “…and the way he acts, and what they're doing over there…”

“And God.”

“And Tony and all that happened back then…”

“And God.”

“Will you
stop
that? You're as bad as he is, making this about something it isn't.”

Dinah stopped brushing and put one hand on her hip. “You're smarter than that, Janet. Wake up and realize you're getting all riled up about him and the roof and whatever else because it's stirring up all that stuff you like to pretend is gone. Only God doesn't work like that. You can't stuff Him into one man's mistakes and expect Him to stay there. He goes after His lost ones. Always has.”

She'd gone to the wrong friend. Emily was always so much nicer about all this faith stuff. Dinah could be as relentless as Drew, even if she had held it in where Janet was concerned. Evidently, she was tired of holding it in. “Come on, not you, too. I don't need to hear this now.”

Dinah put down the brush. “No, I think now is
exactly
the time for you to hear this. Look, I know that man is fine looking, but you go deeper than that. I watched you watch him the other day—when you didn't know I was looking. It's not the man you find irresistible. It's the faith inside the man.”

Janet got up and paced the room, deeply uncomfortable. “I can't have that kind of faith anymore. Tony saw to that.”

“You'd put God in that small a box? Unable to restore the gift of faith He gave you—gave you even before you fell for Tony?”

“You think I want it this way? You think I'm enjoying all this pain?”

Dinah squared off at her. “Actually, yes.” Janet glared up at her, unable to keep a lid on her agitation. “Well, I do. I think you've gotten so used to your pain that it's safer to stay there. Only now Drew and all his team have stirred everything up. With all this building stuff and his enthusiasm, it got so you couldn't help but be involved. And that made you crazy, because suddenly you've
started wanting the church you were so sure you didn't need anymore.”

Janet didn't have a response for that. It seemed all wrong and all too right at the same time, and she was already so confused.

Dinah walked toward her. “I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. Down deep somewhere. Why is it so hard to think God would pull out all the stops to bring you home to church again?”

“Then why didn't He send someone who'd do the job right?” Janet raised her voice despite the early hour. “Why are we fighting about shortcuts and compromises and all the things I can't stand? Drew is too much like Tony.”

“You know, I don't think that's it at all,” Dinah said. “I think Drew isn't anything like Tony. He's what Tony should have been. He's what it could be like—life and faith and love. And that scares you to death, sugar, whether you're ready to admit it or not.”

M
easure twice, cut once. One of the basic laws of construction. Drew had measured three times, and he still cut the piece of wood to the wrong length. He'd been beyond useless since Janet Bishop had left him in the garden.
What is going on, Lord? I was sure when she showed up that we were supposed to talk it out. And that guy? How'd You let that happen? Look at all the damage he's done. That talk was supposed to clear things up. Instead, everything is worse than before.

Why had he told her he was attracted to her? Especially after what she'd told him? She was right, it was poor judgment and nothing less than a slap in the face. Did he, in some dark part of his ego, think she'd come closer to faith because of
his
affections? He hated to admit himself capable of such arrogance.
I'm an absolute mess. Here I am, on the brink of the most important turning point in my life, I'm supposed to be leading a brilliant team, and I'm in shambles. Lord, where are You taking me? Where are You taking the show? Why won't You show me what to do?

Drew stumbled on through his morning, not seeing Janet. He didn't expect to—if he never saw her again, he deserved no less. It killed him to know that last night's botched conversation would be their last. That was no way to end things between them.

The extra crews needed to film the final sequences would be flying in this afternoon. In two days the project would be wrapped up and he'd be on a plane to California to begin his new stint as the face of HomeBase and the network's new hit series. To a life he'd imagined for years, to a ministry bigger than he'd ever dreamed. Perhaps it was only to be expected that there would be some damage along the way. He just hated it to be Janet. It stung him to no end that
he'd
hurt her on top of what that Tony character had done to her. In his darker moments, Drew wondered if he'd been the final blow to her ever regaining her faith. Which, again, was an arrogant thought. It was God who gave people faith, who pulled souls toward Himself. Drew Downing was only a speck on the landscape.

Someone knocked on the bus door. When he peered out the window he saw Dinah Hopkins, standing at the door with a final box of Muffinnovations.

“Hi,” she said as he opened the door. “You got a minute?”

“For a lady bearing goodies, always. C'mon in.”

Dinah set the box down on the table and took a minute to glance around the bus. “Nice digs.” She ran a finger down the edge of the counter. “Look, Janet's a friend of mine. She's been a good friend since I moved here.”

“She okay?”

“No, and I think you know why.” Stuffing her hands into her back pockets, Dinah straightened up. “Don't give up on her. I know she's a tough case, but church hasn't exactly
been a haven of rest for her. I think you might be the guy to get through. Really. So don't give up, okay?”

Drew leaned back against the cabinets. “I'm not sure she ever wants to talk to me again.”

“I know, but you strike me as a persuasive kind of guy. I think maybe…” They were interrupted by Drew's cell phone buzzing on the table, but he didn't move to pick it up. Still, she nodded toward the phone. “You go ahead and take your call. I'm praying, I'm on your side, and I'll see you tomorrow.” With that, Dinah turned on her heels and walked off the bus.

What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't change Janet's history with the church, and
Missionnovation
was just making things worse. His phone buzzed again. He wasn't surprised it was Charlie. Drew flipped open the phone and tucked the box of Muffinnovations into the pantry cabinet.

“What? You don't answer your phone anymore?”

“I was in the middle of an important conversation, Chuck.”

“You know I pout when someone's more important than me,” Charlie teased. “Are we on target?”

“It's tight, but we'll make it.”

“The rest of the crew comes in tonight. Make this a good one, Drew. Our new friends will be watching.”

Drew stared at the church lawn visible out the bus windows. It was coming together gloriously. The site swarmed with volunteers working toward the final deadline. “Gotcha.”

“You okay with those papers I sent out? Legal's been through them and we're all ready to go.”

“Send out the originals for me to sign. We're ready.”

“Actually,” Charlie replied, “that's one of the reasons
why I called. We're going to do a signing ceremony with some network folks and some HomeBase brass the day after the shareholders' meeting. Turn it into a press conference. Okay by you?”

“Why not? But can we fly Kevin, Annie, Mike and Jeremy out for the signing thing? We should have the whole design team there. They deserve the limelight, too.”

Drew heard Charlie punching calculator buttons, probably factoring in the cost of four additional airfares. “I think I can make that happen. And they like Kevin and the gang as much as they like you.”

“That's why I like you, Charlie, you make it happen.”

Drew hung up and returned to his previous worry. He wasn't sure he could set things straight with Janet, but based on Dinah's exhortations, maybe he needed to keep trying. This had become about something bigger than roofs or watering cans.

As he turned toward Bishop Hardware, he met Kevin venturing up the street on his crutches. He was getting pretty good with those things. Some member of the design team had actually painted them with green-and-white stripes overnight, and Kevin had been hobbling around town and the church, showing them off.

“You weren't kidding about Janet Bishop. I just went over there to get a new pair of shears this morning and she about sheared my head off.”

“Um, that's sort of my doing,” Drew admitted. “We had a bit of an argument last night…this morning.” Maybe right now wasn't the time to go make peace with her.

Kevin kept walking, heading toward the church. “What's going on between you two? You haven't gotten
complicated
with her, have you?”

Drew gaped at him. “No. You know me better than that. I
hope
you know me better than that.”

“Well, you've been acting all weird lately. Distracted. And you told me she caught your eye. I wouldn't have thought you'd go for that type, but then again…”

“Yeah,” Drew turned, coming around in front of Kevin. “Tell me about the ‘then again' part. I happen to know you've got a little ‘then again' going on in your life.”

Kevin stopped, looking shocked but also not hiding a grin. “You know?”

Drew started walking again. “You two are about as subtle as Mayor Epson. I wouldn't have thought you'd go for that type, but
then again.
” He nudged Kevin's elbow just a bit. “Way to go, sport. Although I think you could have caught her attention without falling off the church roof.”

Kevin's grin faded into a nervous glance. “You're…um…okay with this?”

“Yeah.” Drew smiled. Kevin looked absolutely smitten. “I'm fine with it. Really. Just dial down the public affection until we're off the air, okay? I want to keep the attention where it belongs.”

Kevin nudged him back as best he could while still maneuvering the crutches. “On you?”

“On the church and the preschool. By the way, what did you learn looking at those plans?”

“It's just like you said,” Kevin replied. “If we had loads of time and money, and HomeBase weren't giving it to us for such a deal, we could do the roof with the other materials. And yes, we could go through the whole complicated process of putting the cistern thing underground, but all that'd take us an extra week, if not more. Plus we'd lose our watering can.”

“But is it
better?
”

“Ideal, maybe yes, but it's not a question of better. But this isn't a perfect world, and we can't always go with the ideal installations. Not by the twentieth, that's for sure. Don't forget—both of those items are add-ons. We were doing them a favor.”

“So I made the right call?”

“Yes. Look, Drew, it's not like you're sticking them with some inferior product because it's the HomeBase weekly special. The HomeBase stuff is new, but it's quality, and as good as the stuff we were planning to use before. Besides, they'd never have been able to afford either without us.” Kevin stopped walking for a moment and looked at him. “You done good, rest easy. Janet will calm down one of these days, and if she doesn't, you'll be long gone anyhow.”

Drew rolled his eyes. “Nice Christian attitude.”

“I'm wounded and I've been up for thirty hours. This is as nice as I get.”

 

Before Drew knew it, the afternoon was gone and it was time to get ready for the last prayer service. The final evening was always the best, and this one was no exception. It drew the largest crowd yet, with an excitement that could have powered the floodlights clear through the end of the week. Drew felt his energy return as the team and the dozens upon dozens of volunteers began to gear up for the final taping and handing over of the keys. Mayor Epson even led the crowd in a hymn, his booming baritone thundering over the crowd with characteristic importance. He was a textbook “octopus”, wanting to be part of every aspect of
Missionnovation'
s final days. Even though they usually handed the keys over to the pastor on the final day, Howard insisted Drew hand the keys to
him,
and
he
would hand the keys to
Pastor Anderson. And it was a giant, key-to-the-city kind of key Howard had made, rather than the ordinary
Missionnovation
key chain Drew normally used.

To Drew's great satisfaction, Annie led the meeting's final prayer. Without notes, on stage and over the microphone. And, just as suspected, she was fabulous. Kevin had heaped such encouragement on her in the last day that Annie didn't stand a chance of sinking back into the sidelines. Surprising as it was, Kevin really did bring out the best in her.

Equally as surprising, Annie brought out the best in Kevin. Even with one foot propped up, he displayed guitar skills Drew didn't know he had. More than once, Drew backed off and let Kevin take the lead. Those two really had come into their own this season.
You've given me an amazing team, Lord. They're ready to take
Missionnovation
to the next level. You've blessed them—and me—beyond measure.
When Janet's mother led a prayer of thanksgiving for all the workers who'd made the project a reality, Drew joined in with a heart full of gratitude.

None of that stopped him from scanning the audience for a certain set of brown eyes.

He knew she wouldn't be there. He knew he'd probably not get the chance to say goodbye, nor did he think forcing one would do anyone any good. She had too much history to see the situation objectively, and he didn't think one more conversation would change that. Drew wasn't a man given to many regrets, but as he packed up the sound equipment that night, he had the sinking feeling that Janet Bishop would always be one of them.
Call her back to Yourself, Lord,
Drew prayed.
Redeem what that man took. Send someone to heal her. I understand it can't be me.

The great Drew Downing really had finally met the one wall he couldn't tear down.