Blurring Lines (10 page)

Mackenzie

February 27
th
, 2006

Climbing off Cade’s motorcycle, I removed his helmet and handed it to him before shaking my hair out.

“That was amazing.”

Riding on the back of Cade’s bike, with my arms wrapped around his warm, firm skin, and feeling the wind on my body was as close to freedom I had been in years. I felt exhilarated, fresh, and incredibly reckless.

Cade kicked out the stand and stood with his hands in his shorts pockets. He had an odd smile on his face.

“What?” I asked nervously.

Cade’s blue eyes were soft and twinkling. His dimples were on full display and the look of adoration on his face gave me hope …

“You’re smiling,” he told me. Shaking his head, he let out a small laugh. “Fuck, I’ve missed that smile.”

Heat crept up my neck, staining my cheeks, as his words set alight a slow-burning ache in my belly. “I have a reason to smile.”

Cade stared at me so intensely that I felt my skin prickle with goose pimples.

“So what do you want to do today?” His voice was thick and husky. His eyes never left mine.

I want to walk amongst the trees, feel the wind burn against my cheeks, run until I am breathless and love until my heart bursts into flames. I want to live, Cade, and I want to do all of these things with you…

“We could go swimming?” I offered, gesturing around vaguely with my hand. “It’s a beautiful day.”

Glancing about the clearing, Cade’s body seemed to stiffen as he silently thought about my proposal. “You feeling okay?” he asked, twisting around to look behind him.

“We’re alone, Cade,” I assured him. He was worrying. His worry did strange things to my heart.

Cade’s head snapped in my direction and his cheeks pinked. “I know,” he muttered, walking towards me. “I’m just being extra cautious.”

When he reached my side, Cade wrapped his muscular arm around my shoulder and led me towards our old trail.

We strolled through the woods, side-by-side in the blistering heat, with Cade in his navy shorts and me in my white sundress. We walked in silence for a while, both deep in thought and anxious.

Finally, when the silence became too much, I asked “Who are you now?”

“What do you mean?” Pulling a branch that was blocking the trail aside, Cade ushered me forward, falling into step behind me.

I stepped around a bunch of nettles and dodged a prickly limb. “I mean who are you? Who is Cade Mathews? Are you still the same boy who I knew, or are you someone different now?”

Slowly, I maneuvered down the bank, panting and a little breathless. I wasn’t used to exercise anymore. “What’s your favorite film – your favorite sport? Who did you take to Homecoming junior year? Who was the last person that made you cry?”

“That’s a lot of questions, Kenz,” Cade chuckled. Taking my hand, he pulled me to a stop and lowered himself onto the bank. “Let’s rest for a sec,” he added. We were only a few yards from the creek; I could see the water rippling below us from where I was standing. There wasn’t much of a drop below us – three feet or so, but I didn’t argue with Cade.

Grateful, I agreed and sat cross-legged beside him. I knew Cade didn’t need to rest – he hadn’t even broken a sweat, but his awareness of my needs gave me comfort.

“Well?”

Stretching his legs out on the long grass, Cade smiled, as he looked out onto the creek. “I like football best now.” Resting his weight on his elbows, Cade turned to look at me. “And my favorite movie is still
Happy Gilmore
.”

“Still?” I let out a chuckle and, mirroring Cade’s movements, I stretched my legs out in front of me too’. “God, you were obsessed with that movie as a kid …”

“It’s a great movie,” he shot back with a smirk before mimicking,
“Tap it in ... just tap it in …”

“Give it a little tappy-tap-tap-taparoo,”
I finished for him.

Cade’s eyes lit up. “You remember it?”

Rolling my eyes, I slipped off my shoes before lying on my back and letting out a contented sigh, basking in the heat of the sun and the company of my best friend. “Cade, how could I not remember it? You only made me watch it a
million
times.”

Cade was silent for a long moment, before finally saying, “I didn’t go to Homecoming. And the last person that made me cry was you.”

“I’m sorry,” I whispered quietly. “For making you cry.”

“No, Kenz, I’m the one who’s sorry.”

I twisted my head to look at him. Cade was still resting on his elbows, but his gaze was locked on me.

“For what?” I managed to ask.

Sighing heavily, Cade let his head fall back for a moment, before focusing on my face again. “For not being there for you since you came home.” He scrunched his nose up and groaned. “For avoiding you ...”

“That’s okay.”
It wasn’t
. “I understand.”
I didn’t.

“My Mom …” he began to say, but I stopped him before he could continue. He didn’t need to make excuses for Sharon.

I got it.

“I know your mother is uncomfortable around me, Cade,” I said, turning my face to the sky. “And I know you have other commitments now.” I closed my eyes, and forced the image of Emily from my mind.

“What are you talking about?” I heard Cade ask.

“Emily.”

“Who told you about Emily?” he said, after a long pause.

“Your mom mentioned it,” I replied quietly. I braced myself before asking the next question. “Is it serious?” Opening my eyes, I forced myself to look at him. “Do you love her?”

“Serious … no, I mean it’s … shit.” Cade pinched the bridge of his nose as if he was in pain. “It is what it is, Kenz.”

“And what exactly is that, Cade?”

“We’ve been dating for over a year,” he finally explained. “She was there for me when I needed … comfort.”

“Comfort?”

“Shit, Kenz, I was a wreck when you left …”

“I didn’t leave, Cade,” I snapped before climbing to my feet. “I was taken,” I hissed as I descended down the bank quickly.

“I know that,” Cade muttered, as he quickly shot to his feet and followed after me.

“There’s a huge difference,” I called out when my feet hit the stones at the bottom of the bank. Steadying myself, I hurried over to where the water met the land and immersed my toes in the cool water.

“Shit, I know that, Kenz. I didn’t mean it the way it came out,” Cade said in an almost desperate tone as he followed me down the bank.

When Cade reached my side, he held out his hand and, without thought, I placed my hand in his. His warm fingers threaded through mine, encasing me in his touch …

He touched the inside of my wrist with his thumb and my pulse skyrocketed. Cade’s touch on my skin was soft as silk, warm, and incredibly wanted. His body was pressed right up against mine and I could feel my pussy pulsing with need.

The heat emanating from Cade felt like someone had set fire to my body and now I was burning in pleasure. This was an entirely new feeling for me, and one I was quickly becoming addicted to.

Everything about Cade made me feel good: every touch, every word, every glance, every smile …

“Don’t be mad at me,” he whispered, tugging me closer. “I couldn’t cope with it, Kenz.”

“I’m not mad,” I breathed, standing flush against him. He was so big, so strong, yet the security and safety that wafted from him cloaked over me like a blanket of protection – a blanket of love.

“I’m going to take care of you, Kenz,” Cade husked. Removing his hand from mine, he clamped my waist with both of his hands. “You’re safe here. Nothing bad is going to happen. Not when you’re with me. And I’m never going to take my eyes off you again.”

His breath fanned my face, and I wanted to fall backwards onto the ground and have Cade do everything to my body that I had never wanted before.

“I know that,” I replied, craning my neck upwards. More men than I cared to remember had used me. As a child, my father had used me to hold onto his marriage. Master had used me. His friends had used me. In some shape, form or other I had been used, but with Cade it was different …

I wanted Cade. I wanted Cade to use me. Because even if he used me, I knew I would be safe. I was safe with him. As long as I remained with Cade, I would always be safe …

The enormities of my feelings for my stepbrother had not subsided since I returned – not in the slightest. They were weighing down on me – deep and unchanging.

I had this ache inside of me: a savage desperation to be with Cade – to have him inside my body, cleansing my flesh, removing the touch of so many others …

There was less than an inch of space between our lips and the urge to push forward and taste him was heady. Cade’s gaze dropped to my mouth. He stared at my lips intensely, before slowly lowering his face to mine …

“…Well, shit on a stick. Are my eyes deceiving me …” a familiar voice called out.

Cade muttered a string of curse words before jerking away from me, and I didn’t have to look behind me to know who it was.

Ian Keller.

I would know his voice anywhere. He had one the most annoying voices I’d ever heard in my life.

Turning in the direction the voice had come from, my body froze when my eyes took in the voluptuous frame of Emily McAllister.

She was standing with two other people on the edge of the bank, at least ten feet above us, with an expression on her face that made her look like she was about to burst into flames. Her eyes were narrowed. Her gaze was locked on me …

“Boo!”

My body froze, my heart stopped beating in my chest, and I dropped to my knees the second I felt a clammy hand clamp down on my shoulder.

Water and mud lapped at my thighs, but I didn’t care. With my head bowed, my hands behind my back, and eyes clenched shut, I mentally started to chant.

“The stars will have to wait … I need you on the ground with me …”

“You fucking idiot … how stupid are you?”

“The stars will have to wait … I need you on the ground with me …”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“The stars will have to wait … I need you on the ground with me …”

“What do you think? Kenzie, it’s me.”

Someone was holding my shoulders.

“Cade?”

“I’m here, Kenz.” He sounded relieved. “I’m here.”

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Cade was crouched in front of me. He looked furious – like a lion coiled to strike – riled up and ready to defend – or to attack. His body shook with barely-restrained anger. His lips were compressed and white. He looked truly menacing. “You good?” Cade managed to say through clenched teeth.

“Yeah,” I whispered, before climbing to my feet. Even though I should’ve been, I wasn’t embarrassed. Behaving myself had kept me alive for three years.

“Sorry, Kenz,” Ian mumbled. His cheeks were pink. He looked wholly mortified. “I didn’t release you were so … on edge.”

“It’s fine,” I started to say, but Cade interrupted me.

Shoving Ian hard in the chest, Cade stepped in front of me, blocking me from Ian’s view. “On edge?” he sneered. “Are you fucking serious, Keller?”

“Whoa.” Ian held his hands up in defense and took a step back from Cade. “What’s your problem, Mathews?”

“Cade,” Emily hissed, as she stalked towards us. Rita was flanking her and offered me a smile. Emily looked me up and down and curled her lip in distaste before focusing on the boys. “Calm down. You’re acting like an idiot, Cade.”

“You’re my problem, Keller,” Cade replied coldly, completely ignoring Emily, as he continued to shove and push at Ian. “Who the fuck told you that you could put your hands on her?”

“Cade, stop.” Ezra, who appeared from behind Emily, sprang forward and pushed himself between the guys. “Calm down now,” Ezra coaxed as he pressed at Cade’s chest.

“Don’t fucking touch her again,” Cade roared over Ezra’s head. His blue eyes were venomous and fixated on Ian.

“Get a fucking grip, Cade,” Ezra snapped, grabbing Cade by the back of the neck and marching him away from us. “Come on …”

“Mackenzie,” Rita sobbed, before launching herself into my arms. “I can’t believe you’re home.”

“Hey, Rita.”

“I missed you so much,” she gushed. Her red hair was cut short now in a pixie-style haircut, but she smelled the same as she always did – vanilla beans and lemon zest. “I wanted to stop by to see you, but I wasn’t sure if you were allowed visitors …” I liked the fact that Rita didn’t think about hugging me. She did it because she wanted to.

Wrapping my arms around Rita, I hugged her back fiercely. “I missed you too.”

“Sorry, Kenz,” Ian repeated, when the boys were out of sight. “I didn’t think.”

“It’s okay, Ian.” I told him as I stepped back from Rita and smoothed down my dress. It wasn’t Ian’s fault that I was a fucking head case that dropped to her knees the second she felt a strange man’s touch.