Blurring Lines (18 page)

Cade

April 21
st
, 2006

Mackenzie Moore whirled into my life when I was ten years old.

The first time she looked at me from the doorway of my bedroom with those green eyes, innocent and beautiful, and hair the color of golden corn, she blew my world to shit. I felt a whole bunch of strange pins and needles ripple through my belly that day.

At ten years old, it was her sweet smile and skills with her daddy’s football that had me sunk.

At fifteen, it was her skills with that sweet mouth which she used to steal my heart.

At eighteen, I’m in so fucking deep I can’t turn back.

I know she is in self-destruct mode, and the problem is, I’m in so fucking deep I’m probably going to destruct with her. If I knew then what I know now, I’d have run. If I had known just how dangerous my stepsister was to me ...

But it’s too late for running; it’s too fucking late for even thinking about stepping sideways. My stepsister is dangerous and wrong for me in every fucking way possible.

Too bad I’m hooked …

****

“I think I might go out later,” Kenzie announced at the dinner table, and my heart dropped into my ass.

“With who?” Mitch asked quickly.

“Rita,” Mackenzie replied, and I knew that was a bullshit lie.

Kenzie didn’t hang around with Rita anymore. She didn’t hang around with anyone. I knew exactly where Mackenzie was going
later
and it made me sick to my goddamn stomach.

She was meeting Ian.

For a date.

Goddamn it, I wished I could go back to two months ago and be a better man. I would do
anything
to go back in time and stop what we had become from happening.

I was to blame.

I knew that.

I’d fucking crushed her and now I was paying for my crimes in the worst possible way. Because if I had been a stronger man that morning and had done the right thing by the girl I loved – if I hadn’t denied Mackenzie and crushed her fucking soul – then maybe we would be together now.

Not this …

“I need to get ready.” Shoving her chair back, Mackenzie stood up and left the room without so much as a backwards glance.

Helpless desperation coursed through me. I had to stop her. Stop her from self-destructing like this. From giving herself away to him like she wasn’t worth a damn, when the truth was she was worth a hell of a lot more.

Jerking out of my seat, I rushed out of the kitchen and up the staircase, not stopping until I was standing in the doorway of her bedroom, breathless and panting.

“What are you doing, Cade?” Mackenzie asked as she stood by her closet in nothing but a bra and thong.

Stalking towards Mackenzie, I didn’t stop until her back was pressed against the wardrobe and my hands were on her thighs, hoisting her up. “Don’t go out with him,” I snarled before covering her mouth with mine, hating myself for what I was about to do. “I’m fucking begging you. Be with me.”

“You can’t give me what I need,” she breathed against my lips. “And I’m not good for you.”

“I’ll do it,” I choked out. Mackenzie wanted me to hurt her and she wanted me to enjoy doing it. I realized now that this was the only way she would have me – the only way I could keep her safe from other men. She couldn’t do normal, and I couldn’t do without her. “I’ll do whatever you want, Kenzie – whatever you want me to do. Just stay here with me.”

It was so fucked-up, and I was drowning in this shit.

“Will you take me rough,” she breathed, tilting her hips towards me. “And hard.”

Jesus …

“Okay.”

She wanted me to fuck her rough and I wanted to take her gently. All I wanted to do was take care of her. I loved her. I fucking adored her.
She
was terrifying me, but I was so fucking in love with her, I would do this, because if I didn’t I was terrified she might find someone else who would. And I wouldn’t share her. I would protect her. I would protect her or I would
die
trying.

“I want you to own me, Cade …”

“I love you,” I whispered brokenly.

Pushing her hands against my chest, Kenzie wiggled out of my arms and jerked away from me. “I don’t want you to love me,” she hissed. “I want you to hurt me.”

“Why?” I demanded with tears in my eyes. “Jesus Christ, Mackenzie, why?”

“I already told you,” she sobbed, backing away from me. “Because I’m a whore, and one of these days you’re going to realize that.”

****

Mackenzie

April 21
st
, 2006

There were a few of the things I had learned about myself.

I was a walking mess – a
hot
mess, according to my stepbrother, Cade.

According to my therapist, I was a
survivor
of sexual atrocity.

According to my father, I was
a victim.

According to Cade’s mother, I was
weird
.

According to Emily McAllister and everyone in school, I was a
whore
.

I didn’t care about what any of them thought anymore. I knew what I was worth.

Nothing.

I knew what men wanted.

My body.

And I knew how to gain the affection I desperately craved.

Sex.

I chose to live my life the way I did. It was my life and I wasn’t going to allow myself to fall into line. To fall into line meant I would lose myself – more than I already had.

At least, that’s what I had been telling myself for the past hour – every time I found myself in this position, with my head trapped between Ian’s hands, his tongue in my mouth, and his fingers knotted in my hair.

“Come on, Mackenzie,” Ian growled, as he tugged on my shirt. His beefy fingers dug into my skin, as he ripped at the buttons on my shirt in his desperate attempt to free my breasts. “Stop fucking torturing me and give it up, damn it.”

“I told you no,” I warned him, slapping his hand away. I shouldn’t have come here tonight, but the reckless streak inside me, the one that grew louder and stronger every time I saw Cade and Emily together, had compelled me to be here. To fuck with Cade’s head the way he fucked with mine. To make him feel the pain I felt. But I shouldn’t have come here with Ian Keller. Ian wanted more than kisses from me, and I wasn’t prepared to give more.

“And in this instance, Ian, no means
no
.”

“Fine. Get out of my truck,” he snapped. Sitting back in his seat, Ian cursed and ran a hand through his blonde hair, before letting out a sharp hiss. “Either give it up, you fucking cocktease, or walk your own ass home and we call it quits.”

I knew why Ian was threatening me. He had taken me to the creek for our date tonight. He assumed that I would be too afraid to get out of his truck in the same place I’d been taken.

Ian Keller didn’t know me very well.

Unfastening my seatbelt, I swung the door of his truck outward and slid out.

“You’re an asshole, Ian.”

“Yeah,” he sneered maliciously. “Well, I’d actually have to care for remark to hurt,
whore
.”

I rolled my eyes with boredom. “Same here,
dick
.”

“Go on home and fuck your brother, Kenzie,” Ian roared out the window of his truck. “From now on you and Cade better leave me out of your fucked-up games.”

I watched Ian’s truck drive out of sight before pulling my phone out of my jeans pocket and dialing Cade’s number.

He answered on the third ring.

“Kenz?” His voice was gruff.

“Can you come pick me up?” I hated that my voice was cracking.

I wasn’t sad.

I was pissed off.

“Where the hell are you?” he demanded. I heard the sound of bed sheets ruffling and imagined Cade dragging himself out of his soft queen-sized divan.

“I'm at the creek,” I told him. “Can you come get me?”

“Goddamn it to hell, Mackenzie,” Cade growled. He hadn’t realized that I slipped out after our argument. “Have you got a death wish? Why’d you go down there without me?”

“Will you come?” I asked sharply. “Or do I need to chase Ian down and suck his cock for a ride home?”

“You’re with
him
?” Cade roared.

“And you’re with
her
,” I tossed back spitefully. “Are you going to pick me up or not, Cade?”

Pretty sunshine …

Worthless whore …

“It’s dark, I’m cold and I'm going to start walking if you don’t tell me fast.”

“Don’t move,” he warned me. Seconds later, I heard the sound of an engine roar to life. “I’m on my way.”

****

Fifteen minutes later, the sound of Cade’s piece-of-shit Ducati pierced through my ears a few seconds before a lone headlamp came into sight.

Getting up from where I had been sitting on the side of the road, I brushed the dust off the back of my jeans. It was warm tonight, and as Cade got closer, I could see he was wearing a short-sleeved back shirt.

He pulled to a stop beside me.

“Get on.”

He wasn’t wearing a helmet and his blue eyes were burning with anger. Cade looked hot as fuck when he was mad.

Excitement rippled through me as I climbed on the back of Cade’s motorcycle and wrapped my arms around him. He felt strong and hard, familiar and safe. I inhaled the familiar laundry detergent scent on his shirt and rubbed my nose against his back.

“Are you mad at me?” I whispered, as Cade pulled into our driveway, killed the engine and kicked out the stand.

“I’m not fucking happy right now, Kenzie.” He turned his head towards to the sky and shivered. “Fuck, you wreck me. You tie me up in so many knots I can’t breathe.”

“But you still want me, don’t you?” I purred, stretching my hand around to cup his cock. Just as I imagined he would be, Cade was hard as a rock. This boy, this fucking man, was the only one who would ever have permission to have me. I needed him. I needed him inside me. Grinding inside me. Cleansing me. Making me better. Taking it all away.

“You like being inside me, Cade.”

“Of course, I want you,” he groaned. I felt the muscles in his back shift and tighten. “I love you.”

“Don’t say it,” I warned him quickly.

I couldn’t hear this.

I didn’t want to hear it.

All I wanted was Cade to fuck me and use me; to take me the way I was supposed to be taken; supposed to be used.

I wasn’t lovable.

I was a body – an object.

Cade just needed to own me.

I needed to be owned, and Cade needed to be fucked.

Love didn’t come into this arrangement any more, and Cade needed to stop getting my hopes up.

“Is this all you want from me, Kenz?” he asked in a calm voice, even though I knew he was about to explode. Good.

Climbing off his bike, Cade grabbed my hips and hoisted me into his arms before roughly shoving me against our front door. ““Do you enjoy messing with my head?”“

“Yes,” I replied, because it was the truth. I wanted him to feel the burn like I did. The fucking agony.

“I want you to crawl on your knees at my feet.”

“Kenz,” Cade muttered through kisses, as he unlocked the front door and carried me up the staircase of our home. “This is so messed up,” he hissed, as he filled my mouth with deep, harsh thrusts of his tongue. “I hate this.”

When Cade touched me, every nerve ending in my body ignited. He knew just how I liked it, and how much I could take.

“I know,” I panted, as I clawed at his neck and tightened my legs around his waist. “I hate me too.”

“I don’t hate you,” he whispered against my lips. “I hate
this
. There’s a massive difference, Kenz. I fucking love you—”

“Shut up,” I snapped, as I grinded myself against him. “Don’t say that word to me, Cade.”

“Let me love you,” he begged, unraveling me with his touch, as he carried me into his room and laid me on his bed. Leaning over me, Cade husked, “I know the girl I spent most of my life adoring is inside this fucking creature you’ve become.”

He only wanted me for my body, my flesh.

He didn’t love me, not really, not enough.

Emily McAllister would always come between us.

All I’m good for are the holes in my body …

Ignoring Cade’s words, I stripped bare, and then when I was lying on his bed, I spread my legs open and rubbed my clit, giving him a perfect view of my bare pussy.

“Are you going to fuck me now, Cade?” I whispered, as I plunged my finger into my pussy, writhing on the bed, loving his eyes on me.

I watched as his eyes darkened.

A vein in his neck ticked.

“I want to make love to you,” he whispered, stopping when he saw my face cloud over. “This is so fucked-up,” he husked. “But, yeah, Kenzie, I'm going to fuck you until you can’t stand. I’m going to rub you raw. And then, when you’re a broken mess on my bed, I’m going to do it again.”

“I’m going to fuck you harder than anyone else,” he warned as he unzipped his jeans. “You’re going to think of nothing, but my cock inside you all fucking night.”

I wanted him with a hunger that was close to infatuation. He was like a drug to me.

“I need you to own me and fuck me and hit me and do all kinds of wicked, dirty, evil things to my body.”

Dropping to his knees, Cade spread me open with fingers and used his tongue to lick and suckle my clit. His hands gripped my thighs and spread them further apart. He ran his tongue up my slit.

“Do I taste good, Cade?”

“The taste of your pussy is all I can fucking think about,” he snarled. “Do you know how good your pussy tastes?”

“Cade …” I moaned, and he nipped my clit with his teeth.

“Is this what you want from me, Kenzie?” Cade demanded, and his breath blew against my clit, sending rippling shockwaves of pleasure straight to my groin. “Is this how you want me to treat you – like you’re a fucking toy for my pleasure?”

Cade’s voice broke, and I had to force myself to say “yes”, as I clawed at his bed sheets.

“It’s killing me,” he admitted.

It was killing me too – knowing this was all I could have. Knowing that I wasn’t worth anything else. Cade staying with Emily had proved that to me. I was just a vessel –an object.

“I need to be fucked raw, Cade. If you don’t want to do it, I can find someone else,” I lied.

I would never have another man inside of my body for the remainder of my life, but Cade didn’t know that and his response was to toss me onto my stomach and flex his hips against me.

His fingers dug into my hips so hard I knew I would bruise.

Good.

I wanted his marks.

I felt Cade’s hard cock slide along the apex of my thighs seconds before he plunged into my wet pussy.

“Uh…” I moaned, pushing myself onto his erection. “Yes.”

Cade was rough and hard and making me sore, and I loved every second of it.

I needed to be punished.

I wanted him to rip me open with his cock – fuck me until I couldn’t feel.

“You fuck me up, Kenzie,” he whispered as he held my hips and fucked me fast and hard.

Cade took me so hard that my knees gave out and we simultaneously came together. Breathless, I collapsed on my stomach with Cade’s hard body weighing down on mine.

He kissed my neck, and I flinched.

“Don’t be gentle,” I begged.

“Goddamn it, baby…”

Pulling out of me, Cade let out a strained groan. When he climbed off the bed, and his weight was removed from me, I started to cry.

I didn’t stop crying until Cade returned with a spare shirt. He remained stoically silent as he dressed me in one of his shirts and placed me under his blankets. Then he slipped on a pair of boxers and grabbed his phone off his bedside locker.

“What are you doing?” I whispered with tears in my eyes.

“What I should have done the moment I got you back,” he said in a heated tone, as he held his phone to his ear. “Put you first.”

****